WHat do you love about being a woman?

[CrossKimmy]

I saw this question asked on another place and so I thought I'd ask you ladies?

The thing I love most about being a woman is self expression. I really connect with this gender. I love how much more fun I am when I am dressed up. The clothes are an expression of this feeling itself. Panties, bras, dresses, skirts, blouses, stockings, heels, shoes, there are just so many ways to put yourself together and its soooo much fun doing so. The same goes for make up and fragrances. There are so many different ways to paint your face and so many different scents, it’s just too much fun!

I love the way women’s clothes accent the body shape and give the girl character. Short and sassy or long and classy, it’s all a beautiful creation.

:daydreaming:

[prene]

Tamma,
For me there are so many things.
I love the softer body, and curves. I love that I have less hair.
I use to want to get out very curvy and sexy, but now I just want to be the girl next door and not even really noticed.

I love there are so many ways to dress.
And the makeup yes.

When I am alone I 95% of the time dress ... I am just feminine ... just seems more natural.

Nice question.

[Marcelle]

Hi Tamma,

I am going to be a bit contrary to few on this one. I get asked this question a lot by friends and work colleagues, well put more like this "So do you feel like a woman when you are dressed as Isha?" My response is always the same . . . No, I feel like me. Now this all seems counterintuitive when you see a guy standing before you dressed like a woman . . . I mean obviously you must want to feel like a woman if you want to be seen as one? :confused:

The one thing I have learned through therapy is that I don't consider myself a woman in any shape, form . . . physically or spiritually. I am only me. Isha is part of me (not in that crazy Sybill split personality way :)) but part of who I am. In essence Isha is no more female than my male side as I am the same person dressed or not. Yes I present female but that is because that is how I choose to express that side of me. So long path to answer your question (sorry about that) . . .

What do I love about being a woman?

Nothing . . . because I am not a woman. Now if you ask me what I love about being Isha? That is a simple one. I love being able to express the whole spectrum of who I am to the Vanilla world regardless of whether I am "en femme" or "en boy". :battingeyelashes:

Hugs

Isha

[Teresa]

Tamma,
Using some of your descriptions I can understand and accept, but it feels more like losing the guy rather than being a woman !

I have tried using some of these reasons why we dress when discussing it with my wife, they went clean over her head ! It made me question myself again the reasons why we do it, it's very hard to come up with reasons for a total disbeliever !

[Rhonda Darling]

I love being able to feel whole. When Rhonda must stay in the background, I feel limited in my expression of who I am. I've finally realized that, being a woman means I don't need to explain myself to the satisfaction of others. My GG/BFF/fiancé (a single person) gets me, and I have the right and feel right just to just be myself, however I choose to express at any given time. She realizes that she fell in love with a person with some complexity, but that it's a whole package? My promise to her is to not lose myself to one extreme or the other. Having part of me feel female, and accepting that, has let me finally love who I am.

Rhonda

[Nikkilovesdresses]

My first response was going to be the same as Isha's, but really it comes to the same thing however you describe it - I love to dress as a woman and to feel more feminine, because it completes me.

Yes I adore the fabrics and the feel of a dress in the summer air, yes I love lingerie, yes I like my eyes better when they're nicely made up, but most importantly, I love being me when I'm Nikki.

And it is a very good question.

[Danielle_cder]

Pretty simple for me, the boobs!

[lynda]

i agree with isha but in a diffrent way,i have always been a guitar player and oil painter,being in the bands give some leeway in how i dress.i sort of blend things,i have always worn braclets and a erring ,people seem to accept that part of me. my thinking is its just cloths now matter what dept you buy it from, but in the end like isha , its all part of me and learning to love myself and trying to pass that love along. love hugs lynda

[Jaylyn]

I really don't feel like a woman when dressed or not. I'll admit when dressed I am more patient, kind , loving and thoughtful. I could and should be that way dressed in my male clothes. I think I just enjoy the dressing and seeing myself in the mirror after I've finished. I feel a change but not in that I'm a different gender. I just enjoy wearing the clothes and love the makeup.

[heatherdress]

Sorry but crossdressing as a woman does not make you a woman. You may look like a woman or feel like a woman, but clothes and make-up and breast forms do not change anyone's gender.

[immike]

I love to wear pantyhose,I love to pick out a short mini-skirt&silky blouse&add a pair of black heels!

[Adriana Moretti]

Sorry but crossdressing as a woman does not make you a woman. . I was gunna say.........LOL.... but Heather already did....

I am a dude.....who likes womans clothes .....what do i like about being a crossdresser ? The answer would be the clothes, the makeup, ohh and shoes, they are all just too much fun to be enjoyed by only women.

[CONSUELO]

There are many things I like about being a transvestite/cross dresser. But a woman I am not and cannot be.

[claire1d]

I agree with others, I would not know what "being a woman" is in a literal sense.

Now if I take "being a woman" more loosely or more like "presenting as", to myself or other, I would say that I like the various choices of clothes, the feel of the softer fabrics, the way it makes me feel inside, gentler, happier, worry free.

I do not know if that makes me a different person or just express myself fully, if it has always been part of me but repressed, all I am trying to do is to not think about that too much and just enjoy it, which is complicated enough.

[Sarah Doepner]

I have to join in and say that I'm no more a woman when I dress and present myself that way than I am an NBA All-Star when I wear a jersey and dribble a ball in my driveway.

That being said, I can't tell you how much I enjoy attempting to enter that woman's world. There are several different aspects to it, the most obvious being an enjoyment of the clothing, makeup, accessories, etc. The textures of the materials, the way it fits and looks over forms and padding modifying my outward appearance in different ways is an engaging challenge. Add to that the way a wig, makeup, accessories and mannerisms add to the presentation and you have an amazing experience and world to explore. Then there are the mental changes that happen as I attempt to find ways to move and behave more like the women I know and have observed, when I'm speaking and engaging with others (or the mirror). Finally, there are those rare occasions when it comes together and I'm preceived to be a woman, even from a distance (Usually from a distance), and it reinforces the image I have in my mind.

All of this pushes the previous 60 years of male behavior and expecations to the background. Others have mentioned it and I also sometimes wonder if that is as much the attraction of crossdressing as approaching femininity is. I also have to place the hard parts of being a woman in perspective, because they have a rough road to follow. We can never forget there are aspects; physical and emotional, of womanhood that are beyond most men and need to be respected. There are also social/cultural challenges women face that we can share if we think about it regardless of how we are dressing. So while I don't know what it's like to be a woman, I enjoy the hell out of pretending that I do.

[Renee Elise]

Have to agree with some of the others...need to answer this question in terms of what do I love about presenting as a woman. As for that, the look and feel of the clothes, makeup, and looking completely different from my usual male persona, at least outwardly. Physically I'm still a Dude but there's a special set of feelings that emerge that make the whole experience feel incredible.

[Isabella Ross]

I'll chime in with a short answer: I just like to feel pretty.

[ShelbyDawn]

Thank you Bridgette. That is me, too.
I'll be the first to admit, I don't LOOK pretty, bu I love to feel that way.
It is kind of like the Eagles song; a Peaceful, Easy Feeling...

[Lorileah]

You guys take thing literally don't you. OK I will amend the OP (if she doesn't mind).

What part of appearing as a woman (or feminine or whatever) do you love?
(assuming you are CD and not TS because Ts's are women :) )

[Sandra]

Sorry to burst your bubble but unless you are a transsexual then you are not a woman. You may dress like one and try to emulate one but that is as far as it goes.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

Now that I'm wrapping my head around this question, I have to agree with Isha's OP to say that this is just me. Maybe a theory could say that I'm dual gendered. I don't know. I just enjoy the feel of women's clothes and seeing a woman in the mirror. I'm not flamboyant in any manner of dress, etc. and only once in awhile will I apply a lot of makeup. I accentuate my lashes with mascara all the time and that's about it. My wife hates doing any makeup preferring a natural look. I like to wear wigs to feel somehow complete and content. I feel less stress. Hope this makes sense. As an analogy, look at every woman in a supermarket or department store and the majority could probably pass as men if you only look from the neck down.

Cheryl

[bridget thronton]

I do not believe in a strict gender binary - i like the clothes and I like the friendships I have with women

[PaulaQ]

As an analogy, look at every woman in a supermarket or department store and the majority could probably pass as men if you only look from the neck down.

This statement isn't remotely true. Not even close! I know a good number of transmen who struggle with passing until they've been on T for a while. Most women who attempted such a thing would be taken for butch lesbians.

I have more to say on the topic of the thread - quite a lot more. But I don't have time at the moment to say it.

[CynthiaD]

Feeling normal.

[DonnaP]

My self I just feel so comfortable in Women's clothing. Don't know why I just do on some days I can dress for like 7hrs. and I'm so relaxed I even do some of the house work.

[Sara Jessica]

I guess for me it is the fact I'm sitting here in a restaurant amongst 100+ Muggles as f none are the wiser.

Or if they are, they choose not to go bursting my bubble!


...look at every woman in a supermarket or department store and the majority could probably pass as men if you only look from the neck down.

Really???

[Robin414]

I like the clothing, I love silk blouses, tights, and those super cute soft down ski jackets us girls in the northern climates wear and love lipstick...like anyone on this forum I just need to let the woman in me out some times...it keeps me sane!

[ReineD]

What do I love about being a woman?

… Panties, bras, dresses, skirts, blouses, stockings, heels, shoes, there are just so many ways to put yourself together and its soooo much fun doing so. The same goes for make up and fragrances.

I've been involved in this forum for a long time. I came here all these years ago to try to understand my SO. I support my SO 110% as I do everyone else here, but I've got to say that after all these years I still don't understand.

Why do you (and many other members) think that wearing these things makes you a woman? I know you're having a lot of fun, but this isn't what being a woman is all about, surely you must know that.

I've got to say that my SO does not define himself as a woman. My SO is a gender fluid person who enjoys expressing her feminine self at times. This, I do understand. And yes, my SO has a wardrobe and jewelry that anyone here would die for, but to say that he is a woman when she wears these things? No.

Or is this just a fun thing to say? If so, then I guess I can understand that. :)


.....what do i like about being a crossdresser ? The answer would be the clothes, the makeup, ohh and shoes, they are all just too much fun to be enjoyed by only women.

Bingo.

[ophelia]

I am not a woman. I occasionally like a different set of clothes and adornment from a different set of drawers than society (mostly) deems appropriate for males at this point in time.
So do a lot of women it seems.
But women crossdress all the time and we don't call them men....

[Nigella]

...

But women crossdress all the time and we don't call them men....

The perennial argument, a female does not purposely buy male clothing to present male to society. A female buys male style clothing, designed and cut to fit the female form.

[Sandra]

.
But women crossdress all the time and we don't call them men....

Wrong

If I wear a jumper that is made for a male and a pair of jeans again made for a male I am not crossdressing, If I was then I would pack to create a bulge put on a fake tash and beard...then I would be crossdressing.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

In response to some rebuttals below to a statement I made, I say YES! Really! What defines the look of a woman? Mostly it is the appearance of a feminine face and hair. Women wear jeans and T-shirts and running shoes / sneakers too, just like men. I have seen in public many times where women, unless they are very well endowed in the chest could pass as men if I erase the image above the neck. I guess it depends where you live and shop too. Just my observations. Not every woman presents an ultra feminine look nor do they care to.

Cheryl

[Lorileah]

Tread carefully kids. If this gets into "women wear men's..." we will have to find a new sand box. Got it?

[Sara Jessica]

In response to some rebuttals below to a statement I made, I say YES! Really! What defines the look of a woman? Mostly it is the appearance of a feminine face and hair. Women wear jeans and T-shirts and running shoes / sneakers too, just like men. I have seen in public many times where women, unless they are very well endowed in the chest could pass as men if I erase the image above the neck. I guess it depends where you live and shop too. Just my observations. Not every woman presents an ultra feminine look nor do they care to.

Cheryl

Sorry Cheryl, I don't buy this in the least bit and actually find the premise insulting to women in general.

One doesn't have to present as ultra-feminine to be detected as being decidedly feminine. Last time I checked, men generally don't have breasts. Their figures are markedly different as well (feel like I'm stating the obvious here).

Put any woman in jeans and a top and 99 times out of 100 I'd be able to tell you that she is in fact female. One doesn't need to be well endowed for breasts to be evident while wearing most tops or even t-shirts. Female shoulders are typically more narrow as well. They carry their tummy fat lower than men, not to mention all of the other ways women are simply shaped differently. All of these combine to make it rather simple to figure out which gender we are looking at. In the meantime, if your observation is based on where you live, then I'd move.

[Beverley Sims]

I like wearing womens clothes and emulating a woman.
I can express myself differently, I also think you have being a woman in the wrong context.
Your statement needs re editing.
Think about how you are trying to express yourself.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

Please allow me to clarify some things.

First, I know men who are so petite that with a wig and some makeup and men's clothes could easily pass and you'd never know it even if they didn't wear forms.
Second, I know two women who are built to resemble football players and dress mostly like men.
Third, I once had an employee who was so gender ambiguous like "Pat" on Saturday Night Live that other employees were playing guessing games until I told them her gender and requested their respect.
Fourth, I have a TS friend who has broad shoulders and large hands who has easily blended into her job without question.
Fifth, I have a friend whose wife has a boy haircut, wears baseball caps and bib overalls, and if you didn't know her you'd think she was a boy. I saw her in a dress once at their wedding.
And sixth, I met a rather large woman who looked like a man wearing a dress until I learned who she was.

I'm speaking from experience and never did I wish to demean anyone in any way. These are just my observations. People come in all shapes and sizes. I just happen to be observant.

What bothers me most in this forum is that I could not express my opinion, relate my observations, and be respected for it even if we agree to disagree.

I'm leaving this sandbox thread now.

Cheryl

[Sara Jessica]

Mellow out Cheryl. Your examples are all outliers that you used to paint women with a very broad brush and I called you out on it ("look at every woman...a majority could pass as men"). In my disagreement, I offered up evidence to refute the premise you laid out there.

This is why most of us in these pages struggle with presentation in public. The differences in genders are marked and it certainly isn't easy to suppress the myriad of visual cues that scream guy. Same holds true for women, that wearing certain clothing does not suppress the fact they are perceived as what they are...women.

[Jenniferathome]

... As an analogy, look at every woman in a supermarket or department store and the majority could probably pass as men if you only look from the neck down. Cheryl

Now that WOULD be a sight. A grocery store full of women with no heads. However, because almost everyone goes out with their heads, that analogy just does't work. Cheryl, your premise is flawed. The same million cues that tell people I am a man even when I am doing my best to present exist for women, regardless of their attire.

[Natasha V]

I have to say for me its thinking I am a woman when dressed, sorry to say but I'm not sure why I am feeling so disturbed by your opinions that being dressed does not make you a woman. I honestly should like to believe that for that instance the mind gives me the satisfaction of what being a woman feels like. I have been reading through post after post but I don't feel that I can agree. Maybe I'm wired differently and I have yet to figure it out. Thank you all

[pinkDOT]

Panties <3 so many cuts, colors, etc and i like having a piece of string between my cute cheeks. And then there are skirts, tops, dresses. Soo many things and styles.

When I am shaving my legs or dressing up, even when I am just wearing cute panties, I feel more relaxed, I pay more attention to my body, the way I look. As a guy in jeans and tshirt.... there is nothing to care about. Same style, same clothes over and over again. But when I try some cute stuff, oh :*

[Krisi]

Since I've never actually been a woman, I can't say what I love about being a woman. I suspect it's the same for all of us if we really think about it. We can only imagine what it must feel like to be a woman.

Now think about this: Part of being a woman is having a sexual attraction to men (most women anyway). When you say you feel like a woman do you feel this attraction? Do you ever get dressed up and then look at a man and think "I sure would like for him to take me to bed?"

[auste]

I think because of many opportunities, you could be what everr you want, you can wear a big amount of different clothes, and just fell free

[Amanda M]

What do I like about being a woman? Nothing - because I am a man. Now I may take pleasure in trying to look like a woman, enjoying the clothes and the make up, and the internal quiet pleasure that comes with the change. I shall never suffer the monthly distress that comes to most women, I shall never be able to look at a man and think I wish would bed me, I shall never know the struggle that comes from being seen as second rate - and that id the lot of many women indeed. Nor, indeed, would I want to.

It just that for me, in daily life and work, I see how women have come from being chattels (unless they are of course Hindu or Muslim, in which case they are chattels) to be a very positive force in our world. Besides, I just relate to them better than I do to men. I could not care less about football, baseball, cars, tools and so on.

I may be odd, but I quite like me.

[Katey888]

What bothers me most in this forum is that I could not express my opinion, relate my observations, and be respected for it even if we agree to disagree.


:sw:

I don't see any disrespect Cheryl - you replied to the OP and made some assertions that others disagreed with... I get your observations but you've been very selective about your examples (I feel) - although some of those examples might not feel quite as respected if they knew how you'd described them... anyhoos...

I too crossdress... I imagine the clothing feels similar to how it feels for a woman... just pinching in all the wrong bits, sometimes - and a decent wig would probably feel similar to how long, natural hair around a neck and shoulders feels... I love the feeling of those things that must be similar to how a woman feels them - but I'm not being a woman when I'm feeling them - I'm trying my best to emulate the appearance of a woman, why? Because it makes me feel 'good'... I really don't believe it even makes me feel like a woman... Well, not in that sense.. ;)

Those of us who really feel like they are 'being a woman' are probably just further down that TS/TG curve than me, and it may well be a valid feeling... :)

I'm not even sure I want to feel like I'm being a woman... how weird is that...? :confused:

Katey x

[NicoleScott]

The problem is that the question is invalid. As we've seen on TV in courtroom scenes "Objection! The question assumes facts not in evidence." Crossdressing men are not women.

[PaulaQ]

I don't think it's an invalid question at all. Some who cross dress, possibly even some on this thread, are, in fact, women - their minds and bodies are simply incongruent, and understanding that can be very challenging.

People on this forum are so quick to act as if there's a predicate like this:

TS(x) : true when the person is transsexual, false when the person is not a transsexual

And further, they act like:

TS(TheirUserName) = false

Unfortunately, no such predicate can exist, for one thing, it wouldn't begin to capture the complex realities of the situation.

I know many girls now - quite a few, really, from this site, who told me - "yeah, I'm just a CD. I'll never transition!" - who are, at present, in transition.

So I think it is a very valid question for those members here who are female identified - even the ones who are in denial about it, or don't quite understand it all yet.

But GOSH, that sure is uncomfortable for some of you to think about, isn't it?!? Why is that, I wonder? :battingeyelashes:

[Jeninus]

The perennial argument, a female does not purposely buy male clothing to present male to society. A female buys male style clothing, designed and cut to fit the female form.


Tread carefully kids. If this gets into "women wear men's..." we will have to find a new sand box. Got it?

Yes, it's not politically correct to express the opinion here that women cross-dress when they wear clothing that was originally and historically designed for men - even if that clothing has now been cut to closely conform to the female anatomy. Those of us who grew up prior to the mid 1970s can pine for the days when the vast majority of women actually wore skirts, dresses and hose on a daily basis (and we do), but those days are long gone, unless you want to move to Japan.

But the observation that if you only look at a person from the neck down, women look like men, ignores the fact that we are all familiar with the fact that probably 98 - 99% of western men and women (outside of Japan) wear similar clothing (not quite approaching that horrendous period in mainland Chinese history of 50 years ago when everyone wore identical blue clothing, but close) - but due to the obvious difference in shoulder/waist/hip ratios between the genders, only an alien from outer space could not distinguish a man from a woman from a distance, based just on the observed person's silhouette, ignoring the numerous other clues.

Wearing traditional female clothing at home gives me a great sense of comfort and peace. At the mall, not so much.

[Angie G]

Everything it all works for me. Just being me not needing to be a man all the time.It's just way cool.:hugs:
Angie

[ReineD]

I have to say for me its thinking I am a woman when dressed, sorry to say but I'm not sure why I am feeling so disturbed by your opinions that being dressed does not make you a woman. I honestly should like to believe that for that instance the mind gives me the satisfaction of what being a woman feels like.

Assuming that you're a crossdresser and not a transsexual (else you'd be posting in the TS section?), THINKING that you're a woman when dressed (this is what you said), implies that you know you aren't when you're not dressed. You yourself said that during this instance (again, your words), you receive satisfaction that you are feeling like a woman.

You are perfectly entitled to your feelings and wishes, of course. But, thinking/feeling under only some circumstances are different than actually being. Being a woman is rather a permanent state.

I'd like to comment on your words "feeling like a woman". A lot of other members have said the same. I've no doubt that you and others feel wonderful when dressed, but feeling great because you're doing something you love does not mean that this is what being a woman feels like for a woman.


We can only imagine what it must feel like to be a woman

For me, being a woman feels the same as I imagine being a man feels to you unless you hate being a man. (I don't hate being a woman.) Nevertheless, the feeling is quite ordinary. And it's ordinary because I know no other way to feel. I do know that I don't feel as exalted about it as the descriptions I've read from CDers when they write about how they feel when dressed, even in this very thread. This is why I do not understand pairing a love for all the sexy things mentioned in the first post that are attractors to most men (most men love to see women in panties, bras, stockings, heels, etc, heck the whole femininity thing), with what it feels like to be just an ordinary female who is out and about doing her thing, like most of us are most of the time.

[LelaK]

Regarding Reine: I imagine many or most pretty women feel pretty. That's how I desire to look and feel, like a pretty woman, if that is indeed how they often feel.

[ReluctantDebutant]

ReineD,

When we cross-dressers say things like "feeling like a woman" it is probably due to a lack of a proper vocabulary to sum up how cross-dressing truly makes us feel. I would say for most of us any other experience doesn't compare. One gets a unique wonderful experience wearing women's clothing. The feeling is alien and is completely caused by feminine things ergo it is simple to believe this is how it feels to be a woman. Or at least describe it as such. After repeating it many time many of us probably do believe this must be what women feels like. But you are right there is no way for a cross-dresser to truly know what being a woman really feels like.

[ReineD]

I imagine many or most pretty women feel pretty. That's how I desire to look and feel, like a pretty woman, if that is indeed how they often feel.

OK, let's talk about this. You say "many or most pretty women feel pretty".

First, how many women are actually pretty? One poster above thinks that 90% of women are not pretty from the neck down. lol.

Here's what I think: most women, if you take an average of all ages, all body types, all backgrounds, do NOT walk around feeling pretty. They are hurrying along, busy with their lives and balancing school, work, carting kids to and from stuff, or when older helping their sick friends or the church bazaar (I use this as a contrast to going out clubbing when you're in your 20s). I'm sure that when some women sometimes take the trouble to put on makeup and a special outfit for a special event they feel satisfied with their looks, but to say they actually feel pretty (in the way you think they do) is not something that I would quantify with "most". I dress up every day to go to work, because I like to present a professional appearance. This means well fitting, stylish skirts, hose, tops, but with comfortable yet stylish shoes (no high heels). I wear a bit of makeup (foundation and a bit of blush) and my hair is always clean and shiny (it's long, past my shoulders, and medium brown). Do I feel pretty? The answer is no. I don't feel ugly either. I just feel quite ordinary. Being pretty or not pretty is not a factor.

Another consideration: I was taught at a young age to not focus on my looks but instead on the things that I do. Not that I had to be ugly or anything, but it was considered vain or arrogant to walk around thinking that I was pretty. Like a tacit no-no. Have I dressed up to fit into some environments over the years and received appreciative glances from men? Yes, I have, but this is because men enjoy looking at women. A lot of different women. It is true that my "womanhood" is validated in a basic, biological sense, when my spidey senses tell me that a man is attracted. But this does not make me feel "pretty", just appreciated by a man for being a woman.

Is this what you want, to feel appreciated by a man? This is different than actually being a woman, most women most times don't have men show visible signs they are attracted. If so, then I'd say that obviously your chances are much better when you dress in ways that attract men than if you present as a guy, so you should continue doing what you're doing and enjoy.



When we cross-dressers say things like "feeling like a woman" it is probably due to a lack of a proper vocabulary to sum up how cross-dressing truly makes us feel.

I know what you mean. Right after I posted my comment earlier, someone wrote me about this thread and I found myself typing that when I say, "I feel like a piece of pie", it means that I'm in the mood for some pie and not that I think I am a pie. :p

[ReluctantDebutant]

ReineD

to preface my later point:
Some may say that their CDing lets them feel more sensitive feminine emotions, like loving, caring and empathy. They also may believe it gives them more feminine behaviors and traits. They may in fact have these but there are plenty of men out their who display such attribute as well who would never think of dressing en femme. But Cross-dressing itself can come on its own and does not have to be part of that combo meal. Cross-dressing on its own is all about adopting look and clothes of the opposite sex and nothing more.

Cross-dressing is all about being or rather looking like some fantasy woman. It has no basis in reality. A woman's ordinary life is not what is desired. School, work, kids, and other responsibilities are apart of male lives because it is part of human lives. When you subtract these common denominators all you have left are the superficial things about being a woman; clothes, makeup, feminine body shape, etc... And at core we are men, heterosexual men for the most part, and I would say that the gay and bi CDers still have the basic male software running inside them aswell. I believe we want to look like attractive woman not to attract men but to attract ourselves. I don't know why this is. My guess it might be on some subconscious level to take the power female attractiveness has over us. Perhaps some crossed neurons reflects what we find attractive in women back into our self image. Who knows?

But I do know this it is all about fantasy. And fantasies all about the fun, happy, pretty, sexy aspects of something not the dreary, normal, obligatory, parts. :D

[krissy]

i love it all. It just feels like me complete at peace with myself and thats all i need

[BouncyBouncy]

What do I love about being a woman?

It's the art of it. The expression of pure aesthetic and the dance of being.

Women are the single most intriguing and magnificent creation of this universe. Women are soft yet strong, poised yet chaotic, graceful yet complete dorks.
They are passion incarnate, whether or not they exude said passion, they are the emotion and love of the world, set to a beat. A rhythm of life itself.

As a woman, my entire existence is about the sensation of existence itself. My skin feels electric, by body a kinetic beam of controlled light, my mind alive with the sheer thrill of feeling
absolutely everything within and without me.

As a woman I stand at the bow of an immense ship forging through the rough seas. I feel the wind in my face, blasting my body. I am the closest to flying that I shall ever be.

A woman is free to delve into the sensation of aesthetics and empowered to seek any and all manner of sensual, psychological and spiritual stimuli. Women, while told to stay in their place
and know it, are applauded when surging ahead into the fray. A woman can dress to feel beautiful for herself and for others, to feel the subtle textures of her attire, to perform her own existence
in her walk, in her talk, in her being itself.

Yet she not NEED do any of this.

But if she wants to,

She can.


As a woman, I am free.


I am on fire.


I am the transcendently searing flame of life and love and joy and beautiful fear and terrifying exhilaration.


I am completely outside of myself, yet deeper inside myself than ever before.



I am all things at once.



This is what I love about being a woman.

[PaulaQ]

My turn.

I've been thinking about this topic a lot lately - coincidentally enough, I am leading a discussion group on a very similar topic in a couple of days.

This issue matters to me - because in my transition, I found that I very badly needed to be a woman, but I didn't have the advantage of being socialized as one. For one thing - what does it mean to be a woman, much less what I might love about it. I had a sort of a naïve idea of what I wanted it to be - but I had no idea whether or not my ideas even made sense.

So I did the obvious and logical thing - I asked cisgender women what they loved about being a woman, and what it meant to them to be a woman. I was quite surprised by the answers I received - very few of them were either useful or informative. You can see some of that in this thread - women saying that they are simply themselves, that they don't love anything in particular about being women - certainly not the clothes! I can understand some of this - I know women get a pretty bad deal in our world. There's plenty of stuff not to be happy about in terms of the roles society gives women.

Speaking of societal roles, maybe the radical feminists have it right, and *all* of the differences between men and women are social constructs. This didn't seem right to me either. For one thing - it was fairly difficult for me to believe that I nearly punched my own ticket last year because I was vaguely dissatisfied with my role as a man, and would've been fine in a more gender neutral society. Let's just say the magnitude of my discomfort suggested that such remedies were going to be insufficient. On top of that, I know many men and women who now take hormones to help bring congruence to their minds. And many of us report that HRT brings about sometimes profound differences in the way we feel. I know for a fact, because I have a basis for comparison, that I'm much more emotional since I started HRT. Sure, I'm still a fairly logical person - it's how I'm built seemingly. But I have a lot deeper feelings, and I express them more openly. Hey, before HRT, I never cried for a day and a half over something that was, in retrospect, fairly stupid to be upset about. After HRT - Oh yeah. (A lot of the men I've spoken with report different, but similarly notable differences after starting T.)

The differences I felt seemed real enough - I am taking powerful mind and body altering hormones, and the ratios of these hormones differs between men and women. There's just got to be something real there.

And it turns out that there are quite a few things about being a woman that I really love. They stand out because of their absence in my male life.

For starters, I'm quite vain. I love the clothes, I love the makeup, the hair. I really love makeup. It's a creative outlet for me, and one of the few such things that I'm even remotely good at. I love wearing pretty dresses. I feel really good about myself. I love that I have hair now. As I guy, I mostly viewed my face as a grinning deaths head staring back at me in the mirror. Now? I look in the mirror, and I feel pretty.

I love my body. Yes, it still has issues - I'm working on fixing these as best they can be fixed. It's a work in progress. It's far from the ideal of feminine beauty. But it's mine - and it's soft, it's curvy, it's feminine.

This is all pretty traditionally feminine stuff - no surprise, lots, but not all, of us trans women are like this. I make no assertions that any of this stuff is "right" for anyone but me. But I love how I look and dress.

My voice has improved - but I don't exactly love it yet. It's a whole lot better though. And it's taken a whole lot of work to get it where it is. This is really true of all of the physical attributes I possess that seem feminine - it's all been quite a bit of effort on my part to get here, and I'm not through yet - not even close.

I love how I interact with people now. I'm flirty, I'm funny, and I'm really sweet, particularly in person. I use more hand gestures and body language than I ever did before. My communication feels so much more nuanced than it was before. At least when I'm not dropping F-bombs. (Some old habits die hard - although in fairness to me, my sister swears nearly as much as I do.) When you tell me a happy story, I'm overjoyed. When you tell me a sad one, I'll tear up. Sometimes I'll do that for a happy story, for that matter!

Compared to the flat, monotone sounding, emotionless automaton I felt like as a man, this is a profound difference, and I really love it.

I'm deeply motivated to help others - this is a big difference between my life as a woman, and my life as a man. I love this. I love people for that matter. I'm passionate in a way that I've never been before. Before, my "passions" involved ways to deaden my feelings, because I was so miserable. Now? I care about things in a way that I couldn't possibly have imagined before.

I have no fear in my life - I feel love instead. I don't quite understand how this is possible - but it's the truth. I feel that some of the women in my life that I grew up with were like this. It's a kind of a strength I'd never imagined.

But I guess the main thing I love about being a woman is that whether you like me or hate me, think I'm a goddess or a hag - I love who I am now. I love that I had to deliberately become the woman I am now. Am I perfect? No way - far from it. But you know what? This life of mine - I made it. It's real, it's authentic, and if I don't like something about it - the one to blame for it looks back at me in the mirror, and I'll fix it. I don't care what others think of it, or of me. I don't. I'm making myself the best I can be, given the means I have. And that's enough for me.

I've lost a great many things - this life of mine has come at quite a cost. But I've earned this, and I'm proud of it, such as it is.

I love being a woman.

[TinaZ]

I've had this similar conversation with a few GG friends and here's how I frame it: I ask them to think about a time they were getting ready for a special night out and their hair was perfect, and their make-up was immaculate, and you had amazing shoes to wear and a dress that fit and flattered perfectly, and everything comes together and you look in the mirror and beam ...

I KNOW this feeling. This is a major reason why I am a crossdresser.

Every GG friend I've explained myself to in this way, I believe, truly gets it. Because they know how wonderful that moment is.

[arbon]

So much

None of it really has to do with clothing though, its what goes on inside that I love since transition

I don't know what it is like to be entirely a woman, to be complete, as I feel in between physically. And socially my life is all mucked up with transness. Sometimes I feel like I am in some sort of gender / sexual purgatory.

What really comes to mind when I think of this question though is the intimacy I have been able experience with another person as a woman. It was a world beyond what I could ever experience when I was living as a man and it had nothing to do with intercourse or genitals. I am still pre-op, what will it be like when I am post op?

[ReineD]

… A woman's ordinary life is not what is desired. (when crossdressing)
*my own parenthesis added for brevity*

I know, and this is why I scratch my head when CDers (not TSs) say they are women when they describe their excitement over the clothing items mentioned in the OP! An ordinary woman's life (which is what most of us live most of the time), is not the way that many people in this thread are waxing poetic about.


I ask them to think about a time they were getting ready for a special night out and their hair was perfect, and their make-up was immaculate, and you had amazing shoes to wear and a dress that fit and flattered perfectly, and everything comes together and you look in the mirror and beam ...

I KNOW this feeling. This is a major reason why I am a crossdresser.

Exactly. You are describing a very small portion of a woman's life. The rest of the time she doesn't feel this way and it seems to me that if a CDer is to describe himself as a woman, then he should spend the bulk of his time dressed in utilitarian work clothing, or jeans, Tshirts, and sneakers doing their errands with no makeup on, like women do 90% of their time too! :)



As a woman, I am free.


I am on fire.


I am the transcendently searing flame of life and love and joy and beautiful fear and terrifying exhilaration.

Your entire post is among one of the best examples of writing I've ever seen in this forum. You write beautifully!

I just wish that my emotional baseline was the way you describe. :)

[TinaZ]

Exactly. You are describing a very small portion of a woman's life. The rest of the time she doesn't feel this way and it seems to me that if a CDer is to describe himself as a woman, then he should spend the bulk of his time dressed in utilitarian work clothing, or jeans, Tshirts, and sneakers doing their errands with no makeup on, like women do 90% of their time too! :)


Just to be clear Reine, I'm agreeing with you. I don't describe myself as a woman. I think that's silly. However, because I can connect to how a woman feels - even if for "a very small portion of a woman's life," - I'm confident to describe those moments as womanly, or feminine. And those moments are extremely special to me. We can pick nits over the phrasing, but for me, for a few amazing moments (sometimes, when I'm lucky, a few hours) I get to revel in a place most men wouldn't go, wouldn't care to be, but where I thrive, feel happiest and most alive. It's where I feel fully me.

And apparently, the full me, is ... me - a gender nonconforming, fun, silly, kind and happy person.

[ReineD]

Tina, I know my comments were immediately under your quote, but they were addressed to the people in this thread who say they are women solely on the basis of enjoying the feeling of the clothes described in the OP. I was trying to explain that this is not what being a woman is all about.

I also understand how special those moments must feel. I've witnessed the same in my own SO. :)

[TinaZ]

I was almost positive we were on the same page, but I wanted to make sure! Now I'm sure. Thanks!

[Karen kc]

Could I be a woman? I remember what my mother was to me and anyone else who was influenced by her. I look at my wife, what she is, what she does, how she treats people, etc etc. then compare myself!!!!!! Could I ever be a woman? NO!!! The nice female clothes I enjoy wearing is as close as I'll ever come to being a women.

[Majella St Gerard]

The thread should be called, What do you love about dressing as a woman. We are NOT women. I like to dress in clothes that are usually worn by women as do all of you I assume. Some of us also PRETEND to be women, I am not one of those.

[sabrinaedwards]

I am totally made up tonight, my nails are polished in a color named siren, I am dressed in a silky top and skirt, and am wearing a new wig. I feel that I could transition into a woman. I do have constraints, but I feel sooo feminine tonight. I can only fantasize about being being a woman, but tonight I would trade my penis for a vagina. Did I really say that! Do I really mean that?
Love, Sabrina

[Sara Jessica]

The thread should be called, What do you love about dressing as a woman. We are NOT women. I like to dress in clothes that are usually worn by women as do all of you I assume. Some of us also PRETEND to be women, I am not one of those.

While I don't disagree with you as to what this thread could have been called, I appreciate the divergent pathways this thing has taken.

You describe the act of dressing versus a state of being that many of us experience, something we do versus who we are. What I know to be true in my heart is not something to be described as pretending, it is all I know and my initial reply to this thread reflected this. That to me being out & about, being myself among the crowd is a state of being that is where the closest physical approximation of being a woman that I can pull off aligns with the reality in my soul.

And I cannot take offense when those who are simply in it for the act of dressing to attempt to transcend their male self in an attempt to discover what it means to be a woman, provided this is not over-simplified by defining femininity along the lines of "ooh, I can wear the clothes and this is what it is to be female". At the same time, I appreciate the sentiment that many have that their dressing thing in no way, shape or form gives them any insight whatsoever into what it is to be a woman. We all manifest this thing of ours in different ways.

[ReineD]

Sara, beautifully said. :)

[Dianne S]

Well. This question is worded controversially. Although I am beginning transition, I could not honestly say that I am a woman even when I present as one. I suspect that even when I have fully transitioned and am 24x7, my experience of "being" will be very different from the experience of a genetic woman. Nearly five decades of living as a male cannot be erased.

So with that out of the way...

What I love about presenting as a woman is: I feel right. I feel like I'm not hiding behind a mask. I also find people are more friendly to me and in a way more trusting.

I do also love the "shallow" things like the clothes, the makeup and the jewelry. I suspect I love those things more than most genetic woman because they're an external affirmation of the way I feel inside, they're relatively new to me, and they are far more important to me in creating my identity than they would be for a genetic woman. Perhaps a few years after transition I'll get over that... we'll see.

[char GG]

Magella, Sara, and Reine,
Nicely said. Clothes, makeup, underdressing, "make believe", etc. does not make a "woman". :brolleyes:

[Lily Catherine]

The question's inherently loaded. On my own part, I have a Y chromosome and do not identify as female. Clothes do not make the woman.

[Ressie]

I love the soft skin and hair. I love the natural hourglass figure, wide hips & soft breasts. I love… wait a minute… I'm a dude!

[Claire Cook]

Rhonda,

Thank you, you have come very close to expressing what I feel. I am me. and the female part of my soul is part of me that I embrace. It's not just the clothes, and it's certainly not the way I feel at any particular moment. Isha dear, as much as I agree with most everything you write, this time I lean toward Rhonda.

[Glorialovesheels]

I just think dressing like a women is just so sensual .. sort of empowering...I feel so alive .. so sexual..my crossdressing has led to other things and feelings about my sexuality ... which I would like to discuss eventually.. just need to find the right time and thread

[Rosaliy Lynne]

Everyone has made great comments in addressing the question as stated. Given that presenting as a woman does not make you a woman, and cannot, still, I relate more closely as the woman I present. I am whole and complete. Then I also love the clothes, the freedom in skirts and dresses, the changes hair and makeup can make on my appearance. It all comes down to being me,myself and a whole person.

[Leona]

I've been involved in this forum for a long time. I came here all these years ago to try to understand my SO. I support my SO 110% as I do everyone else here, but I've got to say that after all these years I still don't understand.

Why do you (and many other members) think that wearing these things makes you a woman? I know you're having a lot of fun, but this isn't what being a woman is all about, surely you must know that.


For me, presenting as a woman is a way to relieve the stresses involved in feeling that my body is completely wrong. It doesn't come up often, but there are days when I look down at my body and just KNOW that it's wrong. On those days. On other days, it's acceptable, and on still other days, it's RIGHT.

If you see me wearing forms, just understand that at that time I hate my penis, and the forms.

All the other days?

Let's just say that what I love about being a woman is that I feel relief when I present, and that's the primary reason I do it on those days. The other days, it's fun, it's a hobby, I enjoy breaking the binary.

[ReineD]

Let's just say that what I love about being a woman is that I feel relief when I present, and that's the primary reason I do it on those days. The other days, it's fun, it's a hobby, I enjoy breaking the binary.

That's the issue. Maybe there is confusion about what "binary" means?

One
You say, "Let's just say that what I love about being a woman is …". Do you really think you are a woman, because then you say,

Two
"I enjoy breaking the binary". A woman IS in the binary. The binary is comprised of people who identify fully, all the time, as either a man or a woman. One or the other. There is no "in-between" in the binary, that's what binary means, either/or. In mathematics, this is expressed as either a "0" or a "1". Off or on. There is no "half" or "sometimes". So if you break the binary, if you are outside of it, if you switch back and forth, if you identify as sometimes one and sometimes the other or somewhere in between, then how can you be the woman component of the binary?

So maybe you (and others) mean, "Let's just say that what I love about [-]being[/-] presenting as a woman is …" ?

[Brittany CD]

So maybe you (and others) mean, "Let's just say that what I love about [-]being[/-] presenting as a woman is …" ?

Bingo, that's my thought process. I love seeing myself in a dress with heels on my feet, beautiful long hair, lipstick, and makeup. This is how I like to look at a given time, but it doesn't make me a woman simply because I am not female. At all hours I feel like a real good looking guy who dresses well (other peoples words to describe me, not my own) and this does not change even when in a dress

[Alice Torn]

I crossdress to resemble what i would have been if born a lady, and also, i make a lady, that in the mirror, is like a dream lady i would have liked to have married. And it is all make believe, and fantasy, but part of me may be wired in the brain, or chemically a bit ladyish. I feel like a combo of male and female. I dress occasionally, but am in guy clothes 97 % pf the time. When i get all dolled up, i do feel like a lady, but i don't understand the mundane things women do, except, that as a bachelor, i do all the laundry, housework, cooking a woman does. But, i am not a woman in the sense of childbirth, and monthly periods, and cannot completely be one. It is boring and no fun being an aging bachelor man, though.

[scarletcd]

I love being myself. I feel a lot more at ease when I am expressing myself as a Woman, almost like the pieces of the puzzle finally fit together

[amyjacks2014]

^.^

I am a woman. My body is male, but my personality, my psyche, my soul is a woman, and I spend as much time as I can living as a woman, which
is a lot more nowdays, since I have my own apartment, without room-mates who might not approve.

I like the beauty of the clothes and stuff, because then I look beautiful in them, and it reflects who I am. It's more than simply picking clothes with the
idea that I will look good in them ... I like picking colors and styles that reflect ME, while also looking as pretty as possible. Someone else said somewhere,
possibly in another thread that unless you go for HRT, a man will never fully pass as a woman, and that is probably true. For those who can not make that
journey, such as myself, that just means that we must go that extra bit to make ourselves as much the woman we are on the inside.


Amy M. Jackson

[Andrea_cd]

The clothes mabey , they are so much nicer than boys clothes after all or the feeling of calm when I slip my panties on the world melts away and everything is good , being a girl is just me

[sometimes_miss]

Cross-dressing is all about being or rather looking like some fantasy woman. It has no basis in reality. A woman's ordinary life is not what is desired.
Um, actually, for some, it is. I grew up expecting for god to magically fix me at some point, and that I would become a normal girl just like all the rest; being born a boy was just a mistake, you see; I was sure, everything that I knew pointed to that, and of course, I was told that over and over many times. By the time I figured out that I really was a boy, thought like a boy, saw the world like a boy, communicated like a boy, etc. etc., it was way too late, and the 'feeling female' part was sort of burned into my psyche. So stepping into a girls life would have felt normal. Living my life as a guy has always felt well, like I got the wrong part to act in a very, very long play. But I got used to it. Sort of like always wearing a pair of shoes that's perhaps half a size too small; a constant reminder that something isn't quite right.
And that feeling goes away when I dress as a girl. Go figure.

[Ceera]

I like the wider variety of clothing and jewelry choices. I like 'being pretty'. I like the way it feels to wear a skirt. (I sometimes wear a kilt in male mode, for the same reason!) I love being admired and getting complements on my clothes and appearance! I virtually never get random complements when in male mode, except maybe someone commenting that they like my hat. But as 'a lady' I frequently get complements on my shoes, jewelry, or on my entire outfit, and it's not unusual for someone to tell me that they think I'm pretty!

When I go out en-femme as Ceera, I'm trying to express the more feminine aspects of my mind. Am I a woman? No, and I never will be, since I have no intention of altering my body beyond maybe getting my ears pierced eventually. But when I dress I try very hard to present well and to not be obviously male. I never speak in a male voice. I keep my makeup understated and don't go for heavy 'drag queen' appearances. I really like being treated as a woman and accepted as one, though I act generally like a bisexual girl who leans strongly to being Lesbian. And it does happen, more often than not, that I get that acceptance, at least in the gay club that I like to go to. Yes, there are a lot of people who clock me as a crossdresser and not a genetic girl. Heck, probably all of them do! But the vast majority address me as 'she', 'Miss' or 'Ma'am'. It's very rare that anyone uses a male pronoun regarding me when I am dressed. And even those that make it clear that they know I'm a genetic male are usually kind enough to treat me like a lady.

I'll never pass 100% for a beautiful woman. I'm too tall, my shoulders are too broad, my hands and arms don't look very feminine (though with nicely done nails my hands don't look that bad), and my face doesn't have a classic 'beautiful girl' shape. Even if I went for the full range of SRS treatments, there are tells that could never be fully erased. But I look more pretty and feminine than some genetic girls that I have met! And I think I look more like a genetic girl than a large number of the cross dressers that I have met so far. For me, trying to present well and doing the best I can is sufficient.

[Emily CD]

I think for me it is so much about how simple a woman looks for an evening out. Yes, the preparation she goes thru may be extensive with the shaving, hair, makeup, etc. However, consider a woman stepping out for an evening out with her man. The way I like to picture her is in a nice appropriate dress, modest heel, pantyhose, and underwear (bra & panties). In a sense, she doesn't have to physically wear a lot of things to look pretty. For a man, his look is so "mechanical" if you will. I realize there is the masculine-vs-feminine appearance of the couple but I just find that her look is so much more appealing to me.

[Leona]

That's the issue. Maybe there is confusion about what "binary" means?

Ah, Reine, I have missed you. :)


One
You say, "Let's just say that what I love about being a woman is …". Do you really think you are a woman, because then you say,

Two
"I enjoy breaking the binary". A woman IS in the binary. The binary is comprised of people who identify fully, all the time, as either a man or a woman. One or the other. There is no "in-between" in the binary, that's what binary means, either/or. In mathematics, this is expressed as either a "0" or a "1". Off or on. There is no "half" or "sometimes". So if you break the binary, if you are outside of it, if you switch back and forth, if you identify as sometimes one and sometimes the other or somewhere in between, then how can you be the woman component of the binary?

Binary is quite simple. As a programmer, I can explain it in quite some detail if you'd like. It simply means there are only two choices available (for only one numerical place). When talking about numbers, it usually means 0 or 1, or false and true (boolean logic). For genders, it means there is male and female (you see what I did there?)

So, sometimes I am a 0, and sometimes I'm a 1. Most of the time, I'm more like a 0.223 or a 0.556 or a 0.776. Those aren't binary numbers, because binary numbers are integers.

I don't always present as a woman when I hit a solid 1. I feel as I do, and, working in a mechanic shop like I do, I have to masquerade. It's easy for me to masquerade as male, I grow whiskers like there's no tomorrow, I have a penis, and no boobs. It's easy for me to pretend I'm a man when I'm hitting a solid 1 on the gender binary.

Only it's not. It causes emotional distress. Not a lot, to be honest, but that has more to do with how I've integrated the whole phenomonon in my personality. Yet there's still some distress. My coworkers notice that I behave differently (enough so that they don't try to talk to me, for the most part, which I'm fine with, being an introvert and all).

I get that there's a difference between presenting as a woman and being a woman. I also get that you can have a headache THIS BIG and it's got some OTC medication written all over it. What I love about presenting as a woman is that it makes the headache go away.

And that's the only thing I love about it. Because, at those times, I look at my body as the ultimate evil. I've got this wang thing hanging out and I hate it, and I don't have those boob things hanging out, and they should be there.

But only at times.

My oldest has come out as gender fluid, and she and I have compared notes (pronouns picked are convenient and based on gender assigned at birth). She also feels the same way sometimes, where she looks down and wants to cut off her boobs with the nearest available life and magically grow a penis. Other times? She's a proud lesbian, and I'm a proud father.

In short, the gender binary is an integer, but gender itself is actually a floating point number.

[ReineD]

Leona, not to turn this into a programming thread, but I was referring to the binary nature of bits (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bit) which can only have a value of "0" or "1" (not ".556"). Binary systems are composed of only two things. When we speak of binary gender, we mean people who identify either solidly as males or females. This does not mean that male and female characteristics are rigid, there is indeed a wide spectrum within each gender and with some overlap. Both men and women can be compassionate and both men and women can be competitive for example. Still, for people who are part of the gender-binary even the most athletic, physically angular, non-girly woman will identify as a woman and will have no wish to present and be known as a man.

I do understand that your gender identity fluctuates. My SO's does as well and for this reason s/he does not identify as a woman, nor as a man. S/he knows that s/he fits outside the gender-binary, even though she does experience strong feminine feelings at times.

[PaulaQ]

I find it fascinating that this thread can go on and on, and yet so many here deny that many on this forum experience gender dysphoria to some degree. But don't worry - we're all straight, manly, virile men - with a twist, right ladies? :devil:

BTW, my heart goes out to folks who really are gender queer / gender fluid / etc. I think that has to be such a very difficult life, at least to live such a life openly. I see such folks experience hostility even within the trans community, because some of us snap really strongly to one pole of the gender binary or the other. The trouble is, there is no social template for life as neither male nor female, at least not in the west. I've known people who went ahead and transitioned to the gender where they experienced the least dysphoria that also minimized the amount of social crap they took.