never happy

[DonnaG]

Another great early winter day is all but gone. Instead of being outside enjoying the day I'm inside. I can't go outside or have friends over because I'm wearing womens clothes. I tried to find a group of others that would understand and maybe share some time without any success. There was a thread recently that suggested that it may be that one in ten people crossdress. If that figure is even wildly off the mark there must be a lot of other guys out there besides me. Does anybody have a thought about why all these people are hiding from one another? I'm not looking for anything other than a friend to sit and talk about this thing we share. I want to feel normal and not guilty just because I like pretty dresses and all the wonderful things that are worn underneath. I guess I'm destined to sit inside in my girly clothes while everyone else is out doing normal things.
I'm sure that there are a number of guys sitting out there wondering why I'm bitching. There was a time when having a couple of hours to dress was a wonderful thing. Now I can wear what I want all day and I'm not happy. I just wish I had someone to share with.

[Rachael Leigh]

For me I've learned to be happy for what I have, but being lonely can be a burden for sure. Hope the day improves

[lisa72]

I feel the same way. Just taking a ride by myself under dressed is not much fun. Guess there isn't many of us in the northeast

[Beverley Sims]

I'm not unhappy wearing womens clothes and walking around Prague looking at the sights.
It's not even cold outside, I think my hotel room is colder, cheap though and nice, $43.00 a day.

[CorsetsnPetticoats]

I understand what you are talking about. I would not say that I am not happy, but it would be nice to know someone to exchange clothes and stories with.

[JamieQ]

I met a few people here. I met Tracii a yr or two ago and then a few others. Our casual meetings were very good!

[carrie2014]

if you want to find someone to talk too it would help to know where you are from. I plan my day so if i am inside all day i keep busy. it is hard to find other people hiding unless i could wear a sign saying i am a cross dresser how about you. not on my list of great ideas. best way to find some one hiding you maybe try going to places to go place to meet section of this forum. all of the above are things i think about maybe there are other ideas

[Stephanie47]

I don't believe 10% of men are cross dressers. I checked some sites on the Internet and all I can find is some unsubstantiated figures of 1% to 10%. I read today on another thread again it is 10%. That leads to conjecture that 10% of all men you pass in the village square, the mall or where ever that 10% are part of some secret society. No guy is hanging a sign on themselves advertizing they're cross dressers. I read your prior postings and can see you've had a difficult time with cross dressing with your deceased wife and your sister's antics. There are support groups. However, you have to seek the groups out. Not all groups are the same. For instance, there is one in Seattle that has pictures of some of their attendees. The ladies are of various age groups. Their commonality seems to be to have dinner together. That may be sufficient interaction for some ladies. Some on this forum dress 24/7 and have outlets that will allow for 24/7 attire. Most of us are closeted.

The questions arises as to "Why does one cross dress?" and "What does one get out of wearing women's clothing?" Personally, I like to be en femme as a stress reliever. To go out in public would defeat my purpose of wearing a pretty dress, slip, heels and all the undergarments. I am content to be a "some time" cross dresser. From what I read on this forum I am fairly lucky, since I can be en femme five days a week for seven hours a day doing all sorts of domestic chores and baking, cooking, etc. I can sit comfortably in my back yard.

Yet, I feel the need to be my other self: the male guy. I interact daily with my age group, peers, etc. I need that social interaction. Frankly, cross dressing would be an impediment to interacting with others. Society is not so accepting. I realize that. I accept that and act within that framework.

You're in my age group and you're a retiree. From your postings I would strongly recommend you receive some counseling for depression. You seem to be experiencing depression since your earliest postings. You must have had other interests over the years that are not cross dressing related. It may be easier to rekindle those interests than finding cross dressing buddies.

[JenniferYager]

Two things:

1. You own your own happiness. I remember always feeling like "When THIS happens, I'll be happy," replacing this with graduate college/get married/make over XX dollars a year/etc. I would achieve that, and yet happiness didn't happen. In the end, I had to choose to be happy with wherever I was in life.

2. As for sharing, you'll have to give a little first. From your profile nobody even knows where you live. When I first moved to Hawaii I had to reach out to others. It's not the easiest, but I've already met two really great people off this forum. The closed nature of crossdressing makes it harder to reach out, but it's worth it in the end.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I kind of fell into a group that has had local meeting with as many as 50 (fifty) CDers.

It all started because I met someone from here on line, arranged to meet her in person, met her two friends, and her two friends, and so on.

I met another group by going to the Keystone (Transgerder) Conference.

And, while Jennifer and I haven't met FtF, I think we may share a bond because I set her up with a makeup artist who I know when Jennifer was in DC on business. So, if I ever get to Hawaii, I'd like to meet Jennifer in person.

Sometimes you have to take the first step, but you need to know in what direction to walk.

[Adriana Moretti]

Donna....I think some of us have gone through the exact same feelings you have....dressing up WAS fun....and NOW its boring, lonely, and you want to be around others.....I have felt this way too at one time, and did something about it.

You say you CANT have friends over or go outside cause you are wearing womens clothing.......my response to that is "There is no such thing as I cant".

Jennifer Yager brings up some VERY valid points.... It's easy to do nothing, complain, and throw a pity party.. I hope you are able to put in some effort and expand your horizons ..good luck

[DonnaG]

I'm sorry about not including my location. I live in Halifax County North Carolina about twelve miles east of I-95.
I did not post the thread to complain nor seek pity. What I was trying to ask is why are there so few groups if there are so many closeted cd's.

[Alice Torn]

Donna, I think it is because of fear, and circumstances.

[Adriana Moretti]

here are 2 groups with a simple google search
http://nctgunity.org/

scroll to north carolina on this one...
http://www.lauras-playground.com/trans_support_groups.htm

heres another
http://carolinatransgendersociety.com/

and even more links....prob some doubles in here
http://www.tgguide.com/Guide/north-carolina.htm

and here are some clubs...scroll to N.C
http://www.tgguide.com/clubs.htm

[DeeDeeB]

Hi Donna,

We all have certainly been there, but it is up to you to break the bonds of fear we all have. Go to any transgender conference you can and you will see and meet many other like minded folks as us. Here at cd.com was a wonderful start for me when I was in your heels. After several conferences like Southern Comfort and Fantasia Fair, I now feel comfortable going out to the local malls and restaurants as Dee when I want to. Just be careful to follow the guidelines of safety any lady must, and if you are confident in yourself, you should be fine. We cds are many and we are strong, we just need to get out of the closet to show the world we are just as normal as the rest of them.

Hugs and best wishes,
DeeDee :fairy1:

[Connie.Marie]

Donna,
there's lots of ladies in Raleigh.
I think they have a large GNO monthly.
Reach out to GenieGirl (aka Ginger) one of my friends.
I think she can fill you in about Raleigh..

Hugs, Connie Marie

[Krisi]

You have to have balance in you life and this may mean not staying in the house in women's clothes. Man up and go outside from time to time. Yesterday I was outside enjoying the day as a man. This moring I'm inside on the computer as a woman.

[docrobbysherry]

I can relate, Donna. I had to fly all the way across the country for my first outing in Atlanta about 8 years ago.
Then, 3 years ago I dicovered a nearby group of dressers that attend evevts together weekly. Including a huge T club evevt that brings in 500 girls from 100,s of miles away once a month!

Seek and ye shall find.

[RachelRoxx]

Darling don't fret. I know exactly how you feel. I was there and only recently rediscovered and amazing GG friend who is into it. She has given me the confidence and strength to be who I want. I promise you that you will find what you're looking for if you try. Patience is key because while gay and lesbian people are widely accepted, I feel like the trans world of cross dressing, drag and transgender is still a little taboo. So people are afraid to put it out there. Don't let it get you down. Do you have any female friends? Maybe if you trust them then tell them about your femme side. You might be surprised by the result. You are beautiful as are all of us. Keep your pretty little chin up and keep at it. You WILL find it!

[CynthiaD]

Just because you're wearing women's clothes doesn't mean you're trapped at home. It's the feeling of being trapped that's getting to you. I used to feel the same way. But then I discovered a magical device that cured it all. It's called "The Front Door." Was it scary at first? Oh yeah! But now I go anywhere and everywhere en femme, without giving it a second thought. I chat with people all over the place, and everything is just fine. Do I sound feminine when I talk? Probably not, although I try my best. Do I pass? Who cares? Can you do the same thing? Yup! Just remember to practice, practice, practice.

[Mink]

What I was trying to ask is why are there so few groups if there are so many closeted cd's.

this statement kind of answers itself...

because so many are closeted!

[Ressie]

Closeted CDS aren't hiding from each other intentionally. We're hiding from friends, family, coworkers etc. Maybe the 10% of CDs includes those that only wear one or two garments occasionaly. And because it's all about a sexual thrill for some, they have little desire to make contact with others.

I understand the feeling of wanting to dress all the time. It seems to be very addictive! I've had the pleasure of meeting and hanging out other CDs occasionally during the last couple of years. And it's really because others (on this site) have reached out to me!

It just so happens that someone from N. Carolina has posted in the "places to go, places to meet" forum, looking for others in the area. Donna, this is your chance to make contact and someday connect in person with other CDs. This is where it all starts. Good luck and enjoy your future of going out or staying in with other CDs that will become your friends!

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?222717-Am-I-the-only-one-in-North-Carolina-that-crossdresses

[SandraInHose]

Closeted CDS aren't hiding from each other intentionally. We're hiding from friends, family, coworkers etc.

That's a great answer, Ressie.
I would LOVE to meet other CD's for dress-up fun, talking, sharing experiences, etc. But what keeps me home (besides the wife's disapproval) is the possibility I'd meet someone I work with or some other acquaintance. Or (God forbid) a relative!

[Jorja]

You will never find a friend sitting there inside of your closet. You must open the door and take a step out into the big bad world if you want to make contact. Yes, that opens the door to things like ridicule and harassment but those things are getting better in our society. It just depends on how much of a risk you are willing to take to meet others. I think most of you would be surprised at how well you would be accepted if you did step out the door. We are our own worst enemy.