"What do you think of all this?"

[Jenniferathome]

Is the question I asked to one of the waitstaff who was taking care of us at the Gem's Holiday party. The subsequent conversation was wonderful. I'd guess she was in her early thirties. Her first comment was, "I love it!" She went on to explain that she loves that people can be what they are. Interestingly, she assumed I was straight! (Maybe the word is getting out about cross dressers). She was genuinely engaging, caring and open. She related a story about her niece being gay and coming out and wished that people could be whatever they need to be. Now, we were in Sacramento, Ca., not San Francisco. The moral of the story is, the normals can handle us and perhaps more embrace us than we can imagine....

[Isabella Ross]

Absolutely agree. I'm always quick to point out the example of my favorite consignment store, owned by an older woman who runs it along with one staff member who is also an older gg. Granted, they have a financial interest in me shopping in their store. But these are two older women, clearly from traditional family backgrounds in a fairly conservative part of BC...and they didn't hesitate to welcome me when I went in their store in drab and asked if I could shop for myself. Since then, I have become a regular customer...and the owner actually asked me to bring in a photo of myself en femme so she could see my style, etc. We're far from being totally accepted; but we are moving in the right direction.

[Jodi]

I agree. Sure, there is a certain segment of redneck/bible belt America that will always shun us, but my experience echoes what Jennifer experienced. I shop openly as a guy for womens stuff and have not encountered a problem in over 15 years. My stylist and manicurist are totally cool with what I do. I have been treated well while dining in restaurants dressed (they know I'm a cd).

The most important thing to many people is how we treat ourselves and others, and are we happy and confident with ourselves.

Jodi

[Kandi Robbins]

Great story, Jen.

[AllieSF]

That is what happens when we talk to the locals. I have always stated that there are only a rare few with pitch forks and torches searching for the sick CD to torture. Most people are very tolerant and curious if given the chance. Giving them the chance requires that we actually start a conversation with them, the complete strangers that we just encountered. Yes, they may have some misinformed ideas about who and what we are, but are very open to here our side of it all. Given that chance we can clarify their thoughts, educate them about other aspects of who we are and sometimes even develop a friendly acquaintance type of relationship where they actually look forward to seeing us again. Strange, huh??

Another interesting thing in what Jennifer wrote is that many of those strangers actually have been exposed to the LGBT world through friends, family or activities that they enjoy. It is always fun and still surprising to me when someone tells me that a very close friend or family member is TS. It sometimes is a very small world, and friendly too.

[kimdl93]

Absolutely consistent with my experiences. The young couple next door said almost exactly those words to me when I came out. The wife's words were, "we think it's great that you can be who you are!"(her emphasis)

[Fortuneta]

Great story...Thanks for sharing it. I also get the same responses here in the "crossroads of America".
Fortuneta

[Allisa]

There were a couple of occasions when the comment of "it's nice that you can be happy with yourself, that's important". I never gave those comments much thought until I read this thread. I was dressed and expressing my femme self at the time, the ensuing conversations were hopefully informative, it's hard to recall them. I have noticed that women are the ones who are open and curious about "us" and our lifestyle.

[Alice Torn]

The few times i was out, i agree Allisa, more women seem more tolerant or accepting, than the men i encountered.

[Launa]

Of the hundereds of good people that I have talked to there have only been 10 - 20 that have made comments and usually behind my back or they walkway before I can get close to them and have a talk. I can live with that, I've even had a few guys tell me we need folks like you around to shake up any stiff shirts in our culture.

[Paula_Femme]

I'll agree with the general premise of the thread, when I've been out en femme, the Women who have chosen to interact with me have done so in an overwhelmingly positive manner, the guys, on the other hand, have typically been Gay and have tried to chat me up! :heehee:

[Brynna M]

Crossdressers are to some extent another victim of the "loudest idiot" phenomenon. Most people don't care. But the loudest idiot shouting the most hurtful thing gets all the attention and defines the conversation.

[jjjjohanne]

I am not sure if I am right, but I have sensed a greater degree of acceptance this year compared to last year (I only go out when my legs are shaved during the winter). I have theorized that the whole marriage equality thing that happened on Facebook has caused people to think through how they feel about things including crossdressers. But, it might be that I am more comfortable this year and I am not paying as close attention to everyone's reactions.

Joey

[Michaelasfun]

That's great, Jennifer! If only people would just accept others how they are without stereotyping.

My face to face encounters with SA's thus far have always been professional and kind even if they are clocking me which I am grateful for and appreciate immensely, everyone deserves to be treated with respect.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I've gotten a lot of acceptance from GGs, but I think the best I've gotten from any dude is that they ignore me.

I go to a clothing swap meetup group. Typically it's 97% GG, like 97 GGs and 3 of us. But it's amazing how many of the GGs just treat us like girls. I get complimented on my outfit quite a bit. Some help me find clothes that I might like, and I've helped some find clothes that they like. A number of them recognize me from previous meetups and say hello. Sometimes a few of the girls will try on clothes practically right in front of me.

There have been several occasions when I almost feel the need to say, "You do know that I'm really a dude, right?"

[Sara Jessica]

Nice story Jennifer and I love seeing others chime in with their stories of positivity. I can add to the sound of the crowd in that I too have encountered 95% genuinely positive reactions & treatment by others who I engage with when out and about (by both women and men).

Face it, unless we give off a creepy vibe, we are interesting people who are fun to be around.

[Sarah Louise]

I agree that in general, most people will be supportive of cross dressing. However, when it comes to their partner, much less so - or at least initially. Recently, I paid for a makeover and dressing session. The young lady who did my make-up was very supportive of cross dressers. But when discussing this very subject, she admitted she wouldn't be able to handle it if her own partner cross dressed as she's attracted to a man by his masculinity and the thought of him dressed as a girl would be a complete turn-off.

[Ally 2112]

Thanks for sharing jennifer it is always nice to hear a positive story like yours and all the others that have chimed in

[JayeLefaye]

No no no!!! There are pitchforks and torches and mothers covering their children's eyes( every time I go out.....Whoops, sorry, those are my dreams...

My reality forces me to agree with the others:

Out and about ain't no big thing!!!!....

Home and Family is a whole other matter...

Jaye

P.S...Unless I actually stay out too late and run into a drunken sod, which is why I try to be off the streets by sundown.

[Marcelle]

Hi Jen,

I agree 100 percent that for about 95% of my interactions I have had no bad experiences and even those were the result of the stray outlier DB who could not keep their comments to themselves. I remember standing in line waiting to go through security at the Airport a few months back (long line for some reason) and I carried on a conversation with the guy standing behind me about long lines an missing flights. It was a natural honest conversation, he knew I was a guy in women's clothing but showed no hint of caring. So I think attitudes are probably leaning more toward "whatever floats your boat and gets you by".

Hugs

Isha

[karinels]

This post kinda brings to point another question. A few years back, my brother and his family from California came to Ohio for a visit. Of course, he always has to eat a Waffle House when he gets home here. During our dinner there, very early in the morning there was an obvious CD sitting at the counter. She was being quiet, reserved, not drawing attn to herself, shying away from everybody. I felt she was happy being out dressed, but was not confident of interaction with strangers and that did garner discrete attn from at least our table. Nobody in the place was rude, or anything of the sort, but you could tell everyone knew but was being quiet about it. I wonder if she had been more confident, more outgoing if that makes the difference between being a puzzle folks are curious about, to being just the next consumer who is there for a meal?

[GeauxStacy]

I think if you go out and own the fact that you are who you are, people do tend to open up and have the nice attitude toward you.

[Tina_gm]

Crossdressers are to some extent another victim of the "loudest idiot" phenomenon. Most people don't care. But the loudest idiot shouting the most hurtful thing gets all the attention and defines the conversation.I would agree with this. However, how many dare disagree with the loudest idiot? How many really even feel they are wrong, but just are not so passionate about it all? I agree that the majority these days are likely in the live and let live camp, so long as they live somewhere else.