Question for CD's only.

[~Joanne~]

Hi everyone :D

Lately I haven't had much of a chance to "really" dress or even the desire. I do, here and there, because it calms me and relaxes me (which based upon this post, I seem to lack the reason as to why it does), but I haven't gone full nines or even to the point where I want to do pictures, even though I have a whole bunch of new outfits I'd love to show you, it just isn't there. Hasn't been since Halloween. You would think that the cooler weather would have me dressing More rather than less.

I got to thinking though, and that's why I only want CD responses to this, is this more of a Cos play to you? I mean, we often read about it here as being a "Hobby" and I think that for a lot of us CD's, that is exactly what it is, though an expensive one.

As CD's, we don't have a "Inner Girl" trying to get out, don't feel trapped in our own bodies that they need surgical changes made, nor do we really need to be accepted as "our true selves" as this isn't our true self when dressed. It makes me think "What exactly is this?".

We all know we will never know WHY we CD, we will never be able to stop CDing but while we may think we are CD, a lot of times it goes past the line of being CD into being TG. I know, as do many of you?, that the buck stops here, there is no transitioning on the horizon and I can say that truthfully, so what is this to you? just a hobby? cos play?

What I am saying and asking here may not even make sense to be honest LOL I am finding this hard to put into words, I am fubbling with the actual question so I guess at it's barest form, is this cos play to you? because when I look in the mirror as of late, that is more and more what it seems to be for me. I just want to pick your brain a bit ;)

Have a great week!

[Kate Simmons]

It would be somewhat for myself. Just bear in mind that even if I were FAB I would do the same thing as there are just too many great female adventuresses out there in movie and comics land not to. :battingeyelashes::)

[Adriana Moretti]

I think everyone (cd's) are different and do it for different reasons....some do it to feel complete ( like themselves) some do it to escape ( and feel like someone else) some cause it gives them a sexual rush........I dont even know why I do it...I just enjoy it, and try not to think about it too much.

[StephanieinSecret]

I have to agree with you. I struggled picking a name for this forum, because I don't *have a sperate female persona. I'm still me, just wrapped differently. The clothes do inspire certain behaviors and mannerisms, but it takes concious effort to enforce their expression consistently. These things are how, partially, I know I am CD and not TG.

[Alice Torn]

I am having trouble dressing lately, too. I think one reason, is having a near violent argument with my hot tempered sister. She turns me off to wanting to emulate a woman, and i get an aversion to even dressing like one. She even kicked me as hard as she could, a while back. I have to wait a while, before i have motivation to dress again. Reason why i dress? Being kept away from girls as a boy, young man, and never being around many of them all my life, the clothes and styles, and texture, and how they make me look pretty, maybe other reasons like not liking my guy self much, and also, seeing beautiful women i could never have, so i dress as one.

[Katey888]

Fubbling...? :cheer: That has to be the word of the year! :D I love it...

Joanne - I can look back on too many decades of ups and downs with this mad-ass thing... too many 'last time purges'... too many 'never agains'... Maybe that's all in the nature of how it affects some of us... Some have continual progression - some have progression and plateau - others have switchback roller-coaster rides... (that's me, defo..) Others have - something else entirely... :thinking:

Is it cos-play? Yeah - I think a portion of it is... it's a deliberate and very disguising alter-ego... It's frickin' hours of detail work to get to something 'blendy'... and it's totally at odds with male-me (at least in image.. not persona..) All that said - it'd be easier if I were a Civil War cos-play guy (we have an earlier Civil War here... Cavaliers have long hair and lacey ruffs - right up our street! :)) but there is something more here that shouts at me: be feminine! And loudly... But it comes in long term waves for me - 6-7 years ago I was doing nothing related to this... now look at me - toast!!! 5 or 6 years time - could be back to nothing (but at least I have the photos to show the grandkids, right? :lol:)

The motivation shifts and flexes for some of us... in unpredictable ways. All I can suggest is we ride the wave... :)

Katey x

[Erica Marie]

For me it has been a 30 year journey. Trying to justify it and figure it out. The last few years I have realized I just want to be me. At times Im not sure if I should be female, male or just a body. I fear more what people will think of me than I worry about myself. I wear cloths, some are mens, some are womens. I have my ears pierced, so do alot of other men and women. I am starting to wear my hair longer and having a stylist help me keep it looking nice. So what am I ? Just me I guess.

[Gretchen_To_Be]

For me it's more than Cos play. I really want to change what I see in the mirror to look female, even if it is just a temporary illusion, because it looks "right". As I sit here in my admiring my shaved legs in pantyhose and heels, I think to myself, "that's the way they are supposed to look". I don't think I will ever transition, but I would like to improve the illusion. For me it's more than a hobby, I would say it's an obsession.

[Stephanie Voorhees]

I really, truly, honestly just like the clothes. They way they look and feel. I don't look at it as cosplay, or trying to emulate a woman. I wear women's clothes for the same reasons that women wear women's clothes.

[Laura28]

For me it is a way to relax. I also love the process of getting dressed and I enjoy the feeling I get when dressed or under dressed. Do I want to transition no I have thought of it and at time like the idea but I am a man and want to stay that way. But at the same time I love dressing and looking like a woman. Over the years it has come and gone but for the last 3 to 5 years it is consistent and I am at peace with it. I will say this I think being on this site is not helping me not want to dress lol. This site has help me come to peace that I am a crossdresser and part of me has a Femina side that likes to express her self.

[Helen_Highwater]

Cos play? No I don't think so, that sort of implies I dress as a way of doing a piece of performance art. something for the benefit of an audience. That wouldn't explain closet dressing.

As a closet dresser I get to spend time dressed when everyone else is out the house. I know I can reach a boredom threshold where just being dressed somehow doesn't truly forefil my desires and I want to be "out there". However that doesn't stop me dressing, experiencing the tactile sensations of wearing fem clothing, knowing heels make my legs look good, achieving a convincing body shape. In some way it's more akin to a drug addicts fix.

Hobby? No it's beyond that but it does share some of the same traits. Having pondered long and hard as to the whys and wherefores I've come to the conclusion I'll never truly know the answer. I just enjoy the ride.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Joanne, I've been in this program for over 68years and it's just who I'm and it's just what I do:daydreaming:
It has become a hi priced pressure relief valve for me.

[docrobbysherry]

Hobby? More like a compulsion for me. I define myself as a closet dresser now. Altho it took me over 12 years of thinking I was TS before I figured that out!

Cosplay? That involves role play, I believe. I can dress up to look like a character for photos but I don't understand role play. Nor do I understand how to play the role of a female.

For me, it's all about fooling myself into seeing an attractive woman in my mirror and pics. She doesn't have to be dressed to the 9's, or dressed at all. She just has to LOOK like a pretty female.

[Rachael Leigh]

For me as I've got older I now understand it's about an expression of a part of me that has to be expressed. I don't fight that anymore and it's made certain things tougher but I know it's a part of me and it is like a hobby but it's not so you see we are all different

[Ressie]

This is a good thread because I've been wondering how many think that cosplay is even related to CDing. Cosplay is a very new term (and concept) to me whereas crossdressing goes back to my childhood (around 50 years ago). I think they're two different things that join for some but I'm just OCD - obsessive compulsive dresser!

[Majella St Gerard]

we all have a feminine and masculine side, I am finally able to accept that part of me and express it. it is not cosplay or a hobby or a costume for me, it is just me. I am usually dressed in something feminine every day, even if it's only panties under my work clothes. I don't hide my CD-ing but I also don't flaunt it where it's not appropriate, like at work. I'm out on face book, so anyone can see if they do some searching on me. It's a part of me, I find it hard to dress all male sometimes. I CD because I want to, it makes me feel good, I think I look better crossdressed with a little make up on. I like it, my wife likes it, my friends (some have never seen me dressed in boy mode) like it and accept me for me. anyway I'm just me and I'm a Cross-dresser.

[flatlander_48]

I would never use the term Hobby. I have hobbies and they are nothing like dressing and, while they satisfy a need, it is not a seemingly fundamental one. The things that I do for hobbies I find interesting and engaging; I wouldn't do them if I didn't. But, they are not part of what I consider my identity to be. I am a crossdressing bisexual at a much deeper level than I am a motorsports enthusiast or a movie buff. If just isn't the same thing; not by a long shot.

That said, desires and interests wax and wane. It's just how it is: unpredictable...

[sabrinaedwards]

For me it is really more than the clothing. At times I feel so feminine, with my nails polished, scented, make up, heels, and an attitude that makes want to be totally girly!
Love, Sabrina

[Alice Torn]

I am posting again, hours later than my first one, where i said i was not motivated. Insane! I just got through several hours of dressing, and photo shoots!! It is crazy, sometimes, on again, off again. I am sitting here all dolled up. This thing is an enigma.

[Jenniferathome]

...I got to thinking though, and that's why I only want CD responses to this, is this more of a Cos play to you? I mean, we often read about it here as being a "Hobby" and I think that for a lot of us CD's, that is exactly what it is, though an expensive one. ..

Joanne, it is not a hobby to me, that is certain. Golf is a hobby. I can choose to play golf, choose to get good at it with practice, etc. I did not choose to be a cross dresser, I am a cross dresser. So it is different in this subtle way. As for being Cosplay or some other form of playing dress up, I do not feel like that either. I need to cross dress. But, like you, I also know that all I will ever be is a cross dresser. I will never want to live as a woman. I will never transition. Cross dressing will always be a very small part of my life but part of me.

[Robin414]

For me...I'm a genuine fan of the feminine condition!!! Imitation is the ultimate form of flattering right? That said I find it 'easy' to be a woman, the manerisms are natural, etc and I truly love the feel of women's clothing...chics are SO fortunate! That's the CD part of me speaking...I'm still a boy...I think ?

[Martina]

I have throught for quite some time what cross dressing means to me and I also don't think that cosplay is part of how I feel about putting on female clothes. It is more the way I feel inside that makes me want to dress than any hobby, as my signature I feel that deep inside I am the girl my mother longed for but never had, so this is just part of my innerself, and have now accepted that is the way I am.

Martina

[Marcelle]

Hi Joanne,

For me being CD/TG or whatever is about being me. I don't differentiate between boy or girl me in the sense I am the same person . . . only the packaging changes. I am with Adriana on this one in that we all have our own reasons (which vary) for dressing "en femme" and probability of finding one root cause/reason would be infinitesimal at best.

Hugs

Isha

[sarahcsc]

Hi Joanne,

I wonder what a cosplay fanatic would say if you asked them, "is this just crossdressing to you?"

I can't define what crossdressing is in general because it means different things for different people. It could mean something benign, or it could mean something life changing. There might be many cosplay fanatics who turn up at the Comic Con convention, but to one of them, it may represent their only chance at beating their social phobia by putting on a costume.

I suspect you would get a range of answers by asking this question but none of them would be generalisable to crossdressers as a whole.

If this feels like cosplay to you, then it is cosplay to you. :)

But most importantly, just because it is cosplay for you today, it won't necessarily mean that it will be tomorrow.

You may look into the mirror tomorrow and and see something different.

Do NOT fall into the trap of thinking that this will remain static. Crossdressing is dynamic and it changes with the time of your life and social circumstances and XXX (other factors which I haven't yet identified).

Have a great week too, Joanne. :)
Sarah

[lynda]

hi girls,im a trans person,but mostly im a blender of both sides of me, if im in a store i will buy from any dept,if i like it mens womens . i put it togeter. and form my style, sort of a jimi hendrex,janis joplin .stevie nicks look. in the end its just me.hugs love lynda

[Ally 2112]

In some ways cding could be considered a costume . For me it is clothes that i truely enjoy wearing and it seems the older i get plus the aceptance of all of this the more i want to dress .I have gladly and finaly got to a point where i can for the most part fend off any negativity i used to feel .This has made me a much happier person and has made dresing more enjoyable .I mean face it this will not go awayso make the best of it if you can

[DonnaT]

For me, CDing is filling a need, not a want. I need to dress, I don't need to fully dress.

The only reason I can figure I need to dress is I am TG at some level. It's not a hobby, and not Cosplay.

Because it is being TG at some level, I can't stop. Hobbies I can quit.

[Jackie7]

A cosplay event and a CD/TG weekend such as Keystone or First Event do look a lot alike. But you generally don't find cosplayers out on the street the rest of the time, in pubs and restaurants, nor dressing up on a regular basis at home. At the same time the more I go out the less urgently I feel the need to fully dress at home, some days I do, but most of the time I'm underdressed and wearing regular outer guy-drab. And while I don't feel there is an inner girl clamoring to get out, I do feel that my internal body image has breasts and I somehow feel more serene and complete when I am wearing forms and a bra. As for hobbies, for me the difference is the compulsion. In addition to being a CD, I have another expensive and consuming lifelong hobby-passion, I will never give it up, but I'm not compelled to it the way I am to dressing pretty.

So I thought this was an interesting question that made me think, and as always there are as many diverse answers and personal truths as there are CDs on the site.

[carhill2mn]

I am not entirely sure that I know what "cos play" is. I do know that crossdressing/wearing women's clothes has never been "play" for me. CDing has always been nearly essential despite the many obstacles, problems, troubles, etc that have been a part of my life. Even though I get a great deal of pleasure from presenting as a woman, I would not call it "playing" or a "hobby".

I, too have no intention of transitioning. I do, however, intend to continue to play the role of a woman to the best of my ability for as long as I am able.

[NicoleScott]

The desire to crossdress waxes and wanes at times, probably in response to some known or unknown outside influence (life happens). For me, crossdressing is exciting with a sexual element to it. I have been able to get away at private times and places to allow me to do whatever..... I take advantage of these times by crossdressing, even if initially not "driven" by the same excitement I know I will eventually receive. Maybe it's the knowledge that I know I will like it based on past experiences.
There is a cosplay aspect to my dressing sometimes but not always. (By the way, cosplay as an opposite sex character is called crossplay). I usually dress in off-the-shelf women's clothing, although I like over-the-top expression (short skirts, very high heels, heavy makeup, etc.). Sometimes I like to dress in a costume, like a maid's outfit, cheongsam, or schoolgirl sailor uniform. It's not role-play for me, I just like the look.
I don't get depressed when I can't transform. Maybe I have learned to manage that. My interest builds, though, when I see a window of opportunity, and as I plan for the upcoming dressup session.
To the extent that my dressing is driven by sexual excitement, I can see a decrease in dressing as age acts on my drive. That's life. But for now, I still enjoy it.

[Cheryl T]

No, this is not "cosplay". There is nothing about it for me that is that way.
One night a few years ago my wife and I were returning home from a Tri-Ess meeting and she said to me, "you act very feminine". My response was automatic, "I'm not acting".
This is not about what I wear, it's about who I am. There is no acting involved. Perhaps in the label sense I've moved far beyond CD into the TG realm. I don't care to try to cubby hole myself with terms. Others spend far too much time doing that for me and I have better things to do with my life.

[fun4metoo2004]

For me, it is more of a "sexual" thing, even though I do under-dress daily with Panties, and sometimes stocking/garter belt. I rarely get a chance to freely cross dress at home as I had to move my Son and his Girlfriend in about a year ago. I would really like to take it further, however I don't have the freedom to do it, nor do I have the body. I want at some point to go to a makeover/transformation salon and get some photos done to see what I could possible look like.

[NicoleScott]

I would really like to take it further, however I don't have the freedom to do it, nor do I have the body.

If we didn't crossdress because we don't have the body, there would be a lot fewer of us. Just do it.

[prettytoes]

For me it's just a bit of an "escape". I rarely go all out...usually just some tights and a skirt, maybe a bra now and then, and I always wear panties. I like the way a skirt or capris look and feel on me. I also shave my legs. However, I am happy with the "equipment" I was born with, and I am strictly heterosexual (married for over 30 years). I have no desire to go any further, and I have been dressing since I was quite young.

[Taylor186]

You don't have to crossdress to be a part of the Cosplay scene. There are plenty of male characters to choose from. Yes, Cosplay provides a cover for crossdressers to cross dress in public spaces without scorn: as does Halloween. As Doc said above, it's a compulsion for the crossdresser, not a hobby or just a costume.

[~Joanne~]

I want to thank everyone who has replied to this thread. Believe me, While I sometimes feel like this is cosplay, More often than not this is something more to me. I just don't know what it is.

It's a quest that I am sure most of us are on, trying to find some sort of reasoning behind all of this, especially because we don't plan on transitioning, something we will probably never find but maybe we will just by discussing all the things that we do.



It would be somewhat for myself. Just bear in mind that even if I were FAB I would do the same thing as there are just too many great female adventuresses out there in movie and comics land not to. :battingeyelashes::)

I have been looking into female costumes myself. Ever since I have accepted that I am CD, I have been exploring everything that I can or want to. Dressing like a super heroine is most certainly one of the thing I want to try, on Halloween or not. I have had a thing for Batgirl forever but putting it all together has really been a chore and I am failing all around. Probably because I want the costume dead on. Now I am also thinking Catwoman or Supergirl.


I dont even know why I do it...I just enjoy it, and try not to think about it too much.

That's what I do mostly but sometimes these questions and such creep up on me and make me think about the "Why?" of it or try to figure what lead Me to where I am.


Fubbling...? :cheer: That has to be the word of the year! :D I love it...

Joanne - I can look back on too many decades of ups and downs with this mad-ass thing... too many 'last time purges'... too many 'never agains'...

I meant to type "fumbling" but I'll lay claim to it's creation and use lol

I think we have all purge and swore this off, that goes without saying really just wish I could have seen how stupid it was and I'd still have some GREAT things....outdated maybe but great none the less lol



This site has help me come to peace that I am a crossdresser and part of me has a Femina side that likes to express her self.

I feel the same. Before this site was the denial constantly, though sometimes I feel ideas and such are trying to be forced on us,there are more positives than negatives. I have made some wonderful friends that I can share this with when I thought for the longest time I was alone and that is worth it's weight in gold ;)



Cos play? No I don't think so, that sort of implies I dress as a way of doing a piece of performance art. something for the benefit of an audience. That wouldn't explain closet dressing. I know I can reach a boredom threshold where just being dressed somehow doesn't truly forefil my desires and I want to be "out there".

I think that is when it becomes more like Cos play. Once your out there. you certainly want to make sure the look is perfect to save yourself from bigoted people and the like, you want to be seen as a woman without anyone questioning your gender and that is when your performing isn't it? The look, the walk, the mannerisms....


This is a good thread because I've been wondering how many think that cosplay is even related to CDing.

When we buy costumes, I think it most certainly is. When we spend hundreds of hours, and dollars, trying to find our look, our style, and trying to be the most presentable woman that we can, as not to be questioned, I think it is connected to cos play more than we would like to admit sometimes.


I would never use the term Hobby. I have hobbies and they are nothing like dressing


Joanne, it is not a hobby to me, that is certain. Golf is a hobby. I can choose to play golf, choose to get good at it with practice, etc. I did not choose to be a cross dresser, I am a cross dresser. So it is different in this subtle way. As for being Cosplay or some other form of playing dress up, I do not feel like that either. I need to cross dress. But, like you, I also know that all I will ever be is a cross dresser. I will never want to live as a woman. I will never transition. Cross dressing will always be a very small part of my life but part of me.

I agree 100% with both of you :D Especially with Jennifer's statement "I did not choose to be a cross dresser, I am a cross dresser."

This statement is sort of the same way I feel about fetishes. You like whatever it is you like, you really didn't have a choice in the matter, it just is what it is, either accept or go mad trying to deny it.


If this feels like cosplay to you, then it is cosplay to you. :) But most importantly, just because it is cosplay for you today, it won't necessarily mean that it will be tomorrow.



That is very true :) Some days, especially when I spend a whole lot of time in front of the mirror, doing make up over and over till I feel it is right, or "I" disappear in the reflection, I tease the wig until it looks like I just walked out of the salon or looks good enough to be any GG's hair.....those are the days it feels like cosplay. Most days I am just doing my thing ;)


If we didn't crossdress because we don't have the body, there would be a lot fewer of us. Just do it.

I agree with Nicole, fun4metoo2004. No one here has a feminine body, not without the padding, forms, and other tricks that give us the look we desire. If You want to go further, GO FURTHER. None of us just threw a wig on and said "hey, this is the best I am going to look" we work hard to pull this off, if we ever truly do. It doesn't stop us from doing it or going as far as we want with it.

[Angie G]

For me it's a serious thing when I dress full or in part it makes my day a lot better. I's me it's who I am.:hugs:
Angie

[sami1952]

I do it mostly becausd I have always felt I was meant to be a woman. Dressing up fulfills those feelings.

[TerriM]

I have been dressing since 12, started going out when I was 29 and I'm 66 now. My desire to dress is stronger than ever. My family have always come first. If things were different I would try living as a woman. Whatever cosplay is, I know that isnt me. I love my family, but I love being Terri.

[amyjacks2014]

^.^

I am a woman in a male body, so in that sense, cross-dressing for me is an expression of that part of myself. The hobby comes into play when I am adding clothes to my collection of outfits. In fact, i added a really nice mauve/purple one-piece today, and I was happy that it fit well, it looks nice, and it is the proper length for me to wear it to work.

There might also be a difference between people who cross-dress almost or all the time, and those who do not. Myself, I try to dress all the time, but it is not always possible. I think those times when I have to be in my male role make the desire to dress up all the more intense.


Amy M. Jackson

[Christen]

Joanne, finally I've gotten to a point where I think I understand why I do this, and believe me I've fubbled this one for too many years. For me CD'ing is an outward expression of who I am. Don't mean that I think I'm female but a fair chunk of me is some ways away from the male end of the line. Everyone sees me as male, treats me as male, reacts to me as male, but there's this bit of me saying I'm more than that, I'm different to that. And the only way I can get it out and allow myself to stop bottling it all up ... is to slip into a skirt and heels. I rather wish I was more like Adrianna, don't think about it too much, just enjoy it.

Christen x

[Eryn]

I got to thinking though, and that's why I only want CD responses to this, is this more of a Cos play to you? I mean, we often read about it here as being a "Hobby" and I think that for a lot of us CD's, that is exactly what it is, though an expensive one.

We're a spectrum and every time we try to draw a line someone manages to straddle it. Being TG is a lot more than cosplay to me, it is an integral part of my being that I suppressed for decades and I'm finally letting myself explore more freely. It amounts to a lot more than a hobby although the limitations of language sometimes has us thinking o CDing as such.


As CD's, we don't have a "Inner Girl" trying to get out, don't feel trapped in our own bodies that they need surgical changes made, nor do we really need to be accepted as "our true selves" as this isn't our true self when dressed. It makes me think "What exactly is this?".


Maybe, maybe not. I feel a lot more true to myself when dressed. I don't feel as though there is more than one of me in here, but I do feel that I am letting myself express myself more completely now, not pushing myself down to conform to societal norms for my birth gender. I don't feel the need for medical interventions, but "never" is a very long time. My biggest battle has been in my own head, to convince myself that I can go out and the society will accept me as I wish to be. For the most part it does, but it's difficult to unlearn decades of habit and fear.

[LelaK]

My identity is fem angel, no matter how strongly my male aspects shout otherwise. I'm CD, TG and even TS by some definitions. I'd love to crossplay, but it would be more than play to me. I'd love to be a Lolita too.

[janec]

I do it mostly becausd I have always felt I was meant to be a woman. Dressing up fulfills those feelings.

i feel exactly the same it is a way of becoming the woman i feel i should have been. but having been brought in the traditional male model and after so long and having a loving family it would be far to difficult to transition now so i am happy to dress when i can and have some support of my wife. dadt

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

I think for all of the 50 years I've been dressing, much of isn't just as exciting anymore. I've just settled into being a male / femaile living in the middle without the pressure of presenting myself in any set way. I compare myself to the young GG who learns all the nuances of being a woman. That means the excitement of hair, makeup, and exploring new fashions. I've done that. But I think as (me especially) and women get older they take a more conservative unisex look for the most part. Nothing wrong with anyone dressing (boy or girl) to go all out in their presentation. This convinces me that I don't need to transition as I once thought. Sure I like a little makeup and a slightly effininate look, but most of the time I dress as a drab woman with women's jeans and tops, and sneakers. I know it's different for many women to present themselves as very feminine for social occasions such as weddings. My wife does. But she admits she'd be more comfortable not having to wear a dress. I'm just being comfortable me not trying to figure it out or feeling I have to live up to any expectations. Yes I am a CD but I don't live up to what anyone perceives about CD's.

Cheryl

[tommi]

For me it is such a stress reliever and I think there is a little bit of girl
In all of us that wants out