Who are you looking nice for?

[Kate Simmons]

While it may seem natural for many of us(as CDers) to want to look like a woman, you have to sometimes try to look at it from the perspective of "muggles" or so called straight laced people. Why on Earth would a guy want to look like a woman anyway? is he trying to attract another man? These are some thoughts that SO's and others contemplate because they just don't "get it". Personally I want to look nice as it's in my nature to do so. As far back as I can remember I've had a dual nature, both male and female. I tried to suppress the male aspect for a long time but it didn't work.The thinking of my generation was that you had to be one or the other.I finally got in touch will all of my feelings and was no longer afraid or ashamed of them and I have made them my own. Now I enjoy both aspects equally. So, basically I'm looking nice for myself as it's part of my self expression. If others like my looks it's an added bonus I guess. Works for me. :)

[Melissa in SE Tn]

It's about finding & reveling in that beautiful inner peace.

[Laura28]

I want to look nice for me it gives me pleasure to see a sharp woman looking back in the mirror

[Que-cera-cera girl]

Laura, thats great! You should always do and be whatever makes you happy or feel good about yourself.

[Amy Lynn3]

Kate, I agree with you 100 per cent. It is the same with me. I feel the desire to cd and look pretty is one of the best things to ever happen to me. I love both parts equal and comfortable in either mode. I just love being me, where others may not like the other me, but they can be wrong if they like.:2c:

[Amy Fakley]

I do it for Me, I guess.

The only person who ever sees Amy in person, is my wife. Though she's supportive, and tells me I look nice, I know she doesn't really enjoy it (say, the way I really enjoy seeing her all done up in a pretty dress). It's clearly a completely different thing.

So, the experience of "dressing for someone" is truly foreign to me.

I think it would be nice to be adored in that way, but you know ... that's just not really a thing that's likely to ever happen, and true happiness comes from within anyhow :-)

... and I'm rarely happier than when I look in the mirror and see a me that I feel good about!

[sometimes_miss]

For some of us, it's not about looking nice, or looking attractive for a particular person or persons. It's about feeling normal in what we're wearing.
Suppose you're at a formal function; every other guy there is wearing a tux. But you're wearing a bathing suit. Sure, it might be a guys bathing suit, but you're going to feel a little (or a lot) out of place and uncomfortable as the night goes on. That's how I pretty much always feel in when wearing men's clothing. I feel like Im supposed to be wearing something else; female clothing. I feel normal dressed as a girl, not as a guy. As I don't have a lot of mirrors around the house, all the visual feedback I get is seeing what I'm wearing from my own visual perspective.

[SherriePall]

I do it for me. Since, most of the time I am the only one to see me, it's about me. However, on my infrequent trips out of the house, it's for me so that others will see someone who cares about herself enough to look her best for others around her.

[kimdl93]

Well, hmmm. I'm suppose that I want to look presentable for myself as a starting point. I don't want to see an old man staring out at me from the mirror. But mostly I want to look good to my wife, and my friends...again, to diminish as much as possible, the association of my appearance with my male origins. I don't want to be perceived a guy dressed up like a woman.

[Brittany CD]

I want to look nice simply because I want to look nice. I try to look my best in my regular life and that carries over to my dressing up. Also it's just fun to to try to dress up and look nice and try different looks. Just my opinion

[~Joanne~]

The Camera!! oh, wait, for me! lol

[TerriM]

I definitely dress for me. But I do love to hear compliments, more so than when I'm in guy mode. Especially when getting ready for a fancy event I tend to look at myself and say "alright, Im a pretty good looking woman". While as a guy I sometimes go out as a slob and really don't care what others think.

[Katey888]

Of course for me... :o And I guess some of you... ;) that would be all who actually get a gander 99% of the time... :lol:

The other 1%? Well, anyone who happens to glance in my direction - I'd rather be receiving a 'wow!' than a :wtf:

Katey x

[Isabella Ross]

Kate...I'm pretty much on the same page as you. But when asked to boil down my TG to its essence, I tell the few people who know about me that I have an irresistible urge look and feel soft, feminine and pretty.

[Rachael Leigh]

Kate for me I feel when I dress I want want to look my best, when I shop for women's clothes it takes me forever to find the right match but when I look for guy stuff I can pick out a shirt and whatever in 5 min. I really now understand why women take so long to shop. The variety of looks in women's fashion is so big and that is why I like it. Also when Im en drab Ive never felt I have to look great I can be unshaven or wear an ugly tee but dressing enfem it has to look great or Im just not happy. So I guess Im dressing for me and no I dont want to attract attention from men in fact I would prefer women to think I look good that to me would be a much higher complement

[missVS]

First and foremost I dress to impress for me because it gives me such a wonderful feeling. There are so many fashions and accessories different hair etc all as crossdessers that we can now try that is impossible in every day guy mode. I get ecited getting that new wig or new leggings and can't wait to see how it looks and dress up. As others mentioned when out I love the compliments also and do want to look hot out and about. I think Kate I am not quite like you in that in guy mode I am not really dressing to impress as much as being Victoria. I am more flashy as Victoria and very casual otherwise.

[Ressie]

Anyone who will look? Mostly for the camera and sometimes the camera prefers "rough" to nice!

[Judith96a]

Who am I trying to look nice for? - just me! Ideally it would be for my wife and me but... let's no go there. I like looking in the mirror and seeing a reasonably attractive girl rather than a boring man.

[2B Natasha]

Kate. I would say. I dress, what I consider nice for me, for, for society. I, personally like to see folks that have taken the effort to dress nicely. Be them men, women or those who have yet to decide. While I don't own a suit and never will. I can appreciate a person who has a suit that fits and is stylish. I love to see people dressed in nice dresses or skirt ensembles. I think these people make the world a more beautiful and visually interesting place. So I try to be that person who brings a smile that I try. If you could ask my wife she would tell you that I have certain rules if you are leaving the house. Like rule #1. NO PAJAMAS. Honestly it came from seeing so many people just not trying. Yoga pants, an oversized T and sneakers have become the outfit rigor. Don't get me wrong. Yoga pants are great. For yoga!

So there you go. I dress for me. For you. For everyone else. I'll always stick out. But I'll also always be remembered. Not as the giant tranny. But as that very nicely dressed man in a dress.

[ReineD]

So, basically I'm looking nice for myself as it's part of my self expression. If others like my looks it's an added bonus I guess.

And who is likely to like your look as a woman? :)

From a biological point of view, 90-95% (give or take) of the population wants to be attractive, at least initially, to the opposite sex in order to attract mates and procreate. This is hard-wired for the survival of our species and is a basic principle of Darwin's Sexual Selection.

This means there is a smaller percentage of people who are same-sex, no-sex, or self-attracted (or one of these combined with same-sex attraction), whose motives for wanting to be sexually attractive is NOT always to attract the opposite sex.

It is difficult for most wives (who do fall into the 90-95%) to understand a CDer's motive for wanting to be attractive as a woman, if she believes him to be heterosexual. You're right, we really don't get it because we have no other frame of reference than our own basic biological needs that are shared by the majority of people we grew up with and know.

I happened to have fallen in love with someone who belongs outside the 90-95%, but I cannot say that fundamentally I understand where he is coming from. I don't know that I can, ever, but I don't see "getting it" as a necessary factor for acceptance and support.



===============================================


If anyone is interested in reading academic research on the subject of beauty or sexual attractiveness related to sexual selection, here are a few articles and books confirming the concept. This is just a small sample that I found through google.

The evolutionary psychology of physical attractiveness: Sexual selection and human morphology, Journal of Ethology and Sociobiology, Cited by 294.
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0162309595000682

The Rules of Attraction in the Game of Love, LiveScience.com online article.
http://www.livescience.com/7023-rules-attraction-game-love.html

Human (Homo sapiens) facial attractiveness and sexual selection: The role of symmetry and averageness. Journal of Comparative Psychology. Cited by 757.
http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/com/108/3/233/

(On the parasite effect mentioned in the above article:
http://phthiraptera.info/Publications/46272.pdf)

Beauty Is in the Adaptations of the Beholder: The Evolutionary Psychology of Human Female Sexual Attractiveness, University of Chicago Press, Cited by 349.
http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=5SUFxfft7zMC&oi=fnd&pg=PA80&dq=sexual+attraction,+beauty&ots=br8ebHQ7pA&sig=qupSYSRj3zHUo5DF4LLlnPtEPeI#v=onepage&q=sexual%20attraction%2C%20beauty&f=false

Male, Female: The evolution of human sex differences. American Psychohological Association. Cited by 1099.
http://psycnet.apa.org/index.cfm?fa=search.displayRecord&uid=2000-07043-000

[Beverley Sims]

Kate,
I answered this almost immediately I saw the subject line.
I like to look nice to satisfy myself.
There is a certain amount of pride involved as well.

[Lorileah]

I dunno but when I meet them I'll be ready

[Marcelle]

My dogs so they won't run away in terror and hide :)

[Michelle 78]

Love that Isha! my dog quite likes Michelle she always likes to sit on my knee when I'm dressed, saying that she doesn't like the noise my heels make on the hardwood floor she hides away!!:)

To answer the question in hand, I try to look nice for me as nobody else has ever seen me....apart from the dog that is!

[Lily Catherine]

Quite plausibly for myself though for me much of it is tactile - wanting to look good and feel good I suppose. I wear only the same few shirts and jeans in male mode, but en femme I have way more options on the macro scale (the male silhouette generally remains the same). Factor in also the rather common notion that some of us do not pay as much attention to our appearance when en drab compared to when en femme.

[Katey888]

If anyone is interested in reading academic research on the subject of beauty or sexual attractiveness related to sexual selection, here are a few articles and books confirming the concept. This is just a small sample that I found through google....


Thanks for the Christmas reading Reine... let's see if we can all fit that in between 'The Sound of Music' and 'The Great Escape' after Christmas dinner, yes...?

:tongueout

Katey x

[LelaK]

For myself first, but also for anyone I may be with, as I don't want to make anyone too uncomfortable --- just uncomfortable enough to help reset the standards, if possible.

[susan54]

I dress to look good for me all the time I dress, but when I go out dressed it depends where I am going. If I am just going for groceries any skirt or dress that makes me look good will do, but if I am going to buy from an upmarket shop - where I buy most of my clothes - or to the beautician or to stay in a nice hotel - I dress to impress, wearing very classy clothes and quality accessories. The grocery store and its customers may or may not realise I am a man- it does not matter and all of the others already know I am a man. Next to wearing the clothes, I like compliments on how I look in them - and I usually get these - but not always - and if an outfit is not praised at some point in a day (or more rarely criticised) then it will not be worn outdoors again. Hotels, beauticians and ladieswear shops are staffed almost entirely by women and I tend to avoid males whenever I can. I love female company at all times but especially so when I am dressed as one. Some of the women even flirt with me but without overtly referring to my gender.

So I dress for me and to get compliments for me I suppose. From previous threads I think I am in a minority here in not thinking of myself as a woman when I dress - I act as one - but am happy if a stranger realises I am male but says I look fantastic - and it is wonderful that this actually happens.

[Barbara Dugan]

I guess is for me but dressing nice for someone else is a very fulfilling experience that validate your efforts

[Jean 103]

It’s easy to say it’s for me and it is. Here it comes, but I like to go got dressed and as I am not three years old I can’t quite pull off wearing any thing I want to at the time. So I may want to wear a short skirt and heels, but end up in leggings and boots.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Kate, If that pretty lady in the mirror is smiling than that makes me very happy.

[justmetoo]

To answer the thread title - for me. :) (being asexual I'm definitely not trying to attract anyone sexually)

Even sexual people sometimes just want to look good for themselves, don't they? Just to feel good about their own self, maybe for a little self-esteem boost. I mean, it isn't always about sex even for sexual people is it? :)

But, yeah, I do it because I like the way it feels and the way I feel when I do it (not in a sexual way). It's a way I can express a side of me I usually have to keep repressed (or don't feel like expressing). I dress to express, not repress (because that can be depressing). :D

[amyjacks2014]

^.^

My biggest target audience for my dressing up is me, much like a lot of others who have responded. Now, if I go on a date,
I try to look extra beautiful for him (or her, as I am bi).


Amy M. Jackson

[Zoe B]

Like a lot of other people I dress for me, but I also make the extra effort for my wife who loves the opportunity to help me get dressed and ready to go. :)

[Jeninus]

And who is likely to like your look as a woman? :)


It is difficult for most wives (who do fall into the 90-95%) to understand a CDer's motive for wanting to be attractive as a woman, if she believes him to be heterosexual. You're right, we really don't get it because we have no other frame of reference than our own basic biological needs that are shared by the majority of people we grew up with and know.

I happened to have fallen in love with someone who belongs outside the 90-95%, but I cannot say that fundamentally I understand where he is coming from. I don't know that I can, ever, but I don't see "getting it" as a necessary factor for acceptance and support.


As usual, Reine has taken the thread to the next level. Yes, we dress for ourselves, and find some inner peace or satisfaction from doing so, even though our SOs may well prefer we didn't - and we shouldn't expect them to "get it." Those of us bold enough to go outside en femme do - or should - make a great effort to perfect our presentation...not so that someone will like our look as a woman, but rather so as not to attract attention to ourselves as the proverbial "guy in a dress" wandering around the mall. We owe it to this community to make that effort. Or don't leave the closet, please!

[amyjacks2014]

^.^

"As usual, Reine has taken the thread to the next level. Yes, we dress for ourselves, and find some inner peace or satisfaction from doing so, even though our SOs may well prefer we didn't - and we shouldn't expect them to "get it." Those of us bold enough to go outside en femme do - or should - make a great effort to perfect our presentation...not so that someone will like our look as a woman, but rather so as not to attract attention to ourselves as the proverbial "guy in a dress" wandering around the mall. We owe it to this community to make that effort. Or don't leave the closet, please!"


I totally agree. I have been completely cross-dressing for a little over a year, and there are certain rules (and subsets of rules) that I go by, that apply here ...

1): Continuously look to perfect the presentation. This is done by planning out how to attain the next step. I have been lucky to find another cross-dresser who lives here in town, and she is very supportive, so I am hoping to be able to move faster to get to where I look even more like the woman I am on the inside.

2): If I can not do the maintenance necessary to be presentable as a woman, go out as a male. Today is an example. I had to run some errands, and I was unable to return home before going to work. So, rather than go out without shaving and such, I simply spent the day as John. There is nothing wrong with one day being spent as a man, and as Reine and Jen just mentioned, the idea is to look like a woman, not a man in a dress.


Amy M. Jackson

[BillieAnneJean]

I dress purely for my own pleasure. I am fortunate to belong to a social group http://www.crossdressersmichigan.com to spend some time with. If I was not fortunate to have these real face to face friends, then I would be perfectly happy to be enfemme, OUT, and the only person within a mile. So the group members provide a nice camaraderie of aware and like minded people without which my CDing would be entirely by myself. And when OUT they cover my back.
When I am OUT the best day is when no one notices me, I am completely ignored.
To that end I put a lot of effort in to the illusion I am projecting as I attempt to "fool" those passing by.

[Teresa]

Kate last time a similar question to this was posted I had to sit and think it all through ! The answer I came up with then was all for yourself !
Most partners don't want to know, I'm not gay so it's not to attract men !
It's still hard to explain when you look at like this and if you go to sites to analyze your feelings and why you do it you find you're ticking boxes and trying to find the niche you fit into !

I guess at sixty three I'm beginning to see where your comments are coming from ! It just makes me feel good and if others don't like it sort your problems out because I don't have one !!

[charlenesomeone]

Teresa that is a great way to sum it up. I dress for me, it's who I am. If out, I don't "pass" so it's
only acceptance or tolerance, but I am me, dressed how I want to be.
Love looking nice, but everyday girl is ok too.

[Raychel]

I dress for me as well,
I look in the mirror in guy mode and REALLY do not like what I see at all
I look in the mirror when dressed pretty and think that is better, this is more how I feel right
doesn't make much sense in my head, but looking in the mirror when dressed in womens clothes
just seems right. :idontknow:

[Girl]

Mainly for me. I get intense pleasure when my clothes and appearance truly reflect my inner self.

[Sara Jessica]

What seems to be missing to this point is that the answer for a lot of us might mirror how some natal females might answer the question. Speaking from a sample size of one (my wife) and anecdotal evidence obtained by observing her with a dozen or so of her close mostly-married friends, I can say they dress for one another when they all get together. Many in their group truly enjoy being stylish and cutting-edge with their fashion choices. Even those whose daily "mom" routines that can seem rather mundane when it comes to fashion choices (ie - my wife...although she can make mommy-chic look super cute!) really enjoy dressing it up in their own way when these outings come up. They appreciate the compliments from one another which is validating in that "they still have it".

So to put this into context, I will present myself in such a way that I am happy with, that the Muggles will see that I'm at least trying even though they'll more than likely read me as trans-whatever, and finally, in such a way that hopefully my friends will see that "I still have it". Even if I don't, at least I don't want to dumb-down the group I'm in!!! ;)

[Donna June]

Like most of the replies here I dress mainly for me, but I want and hope to look nice for my TG sisters too and if a gg thinks I look nice that is very flattering. Can't deny that I want to look attractive to men also.

[AshleyScott]

Kate last time a similar question to this was posted I had to sit and think it all through ! The answer I came up with then was all for yourself !
Most partners don't want to know, I'm not gay so it's not to attract men !
It's still hard to explain when you look at like this and if you go to sites to analyze your feelings and why you do it you find you're ticking boxes and trying to find the niche you fit into !

I guess at sixty three I'm beginning to see where your comments are coming from ! It just makes me feel good and if others don't like it sort your problems out because I don't have one !!

...and that'll be a "Hear! Hear!" from here, here :thumbsup:

[CarlaWestin]

Anyone who will look? Mostly for the camera and sometimes the camera prefers "rough" to nice!


I dunno but when I meet them I'll be ready


Hi Kate, If that pretty lady in the mirror is smiling, then that makes me very happy.


I dress purely for my own pleasure.

Although it would be fun to run around and freak out the neighbors, the above comments pretty much sum up my position on this.
My girly play is just for me no matter who sees it.

[Jenniferathome]

...From a biological point of view, 90-95% (give or take) of the population wants to be attractive...

It is difficult for most wives (who do fall into the 90-95%) to understand a CDer's motive for wanting to be attractive as a woman, if she believes him to be heterosexual. ...

Reine, I cut off the first sentence because I think this is true as well. Who doesn't want to be attractive? Being attractive doesn't necessarily mean one is trying to attract the opposite sex. I dress and put effort into the look. I am a "anything worth doing is worth doing well," kind of guy. Part of the cost of that is the remote possibility that men will find my look "attractive."

Now, doesn't this tie out to your second point above? I am not "trying" to be attractive to men, no ore so than my wife when she goes out. That is the cost of presenting well, however. But we both want to be attractive to anyone looking at us. It makes us feel better. Additionally, if a man could remotely find me attractive, that is a validation of my "passibility" which I am trying hard to do. I can absolutely appreciate why a wife doesn't get it. This cross dressing thing is odd in so many ways.

[Rosaliy Lynne]

being this woman is all about me too, Carla. Love being accepted as I am. Great ego boost too.

[Katey888]

Interesting post Kate... I feel a need to add a successive post to my original... :)

Many folk seem to say that they're doing this to be attractive (makes sense to me) and most admit that they're doing it for themselves... me too..

Now - I have actually read a couple of the articles that Reine graciously passed on for everyone's further enlightenment (skipped the first academic one for the gouging price of 35 bucks... no thanks!) and one of them points to research that indicates attractiveness can be governed by genetic similarity, as this affords some sort of benefit in the procreative process, but think about it... If you feminise your male appearance (as we do) - what do you end up with? Someone who looks like a genetically similar, female version of yourself... The ideal 'visual' mate...? And (I say this non-pejoratively) just a touch of plain old narcissism at play...???

:hiding:

Katey x

[ReineD]

Jennifer, we don't live in the Stone Age anymore, but we still have the fight or flight instinct. I'm speaking of the very basic instincts that reside in our brain stem.

I know what you mean though, when I dress for work in a black skirt and hose (with flats), I don't have the slightest motive to attract the men in my office. I choose to wear skirts over pants likely because of my age; during my 20s in the 1970s, most women in my office wore skirts and dresses most of the time and to wear pants made the appearance more casual. The professional men were wearing suits and ties then, and I wanted to be seen at the same level of "dressing up" as them.

Back to my first paragraph, of course I'm not suggesting that unless a CDer wears a burlap bag it means that he wants men to fall all over for him. But, there is that little "extra" that goes into fashion choices for many CDers, that added "zing" to the presentation that moves the motive from neutral to "Hmm … this is a little sexy, isn't it". The height of a heel, the length of a skirt, how tight the top is or whether it hugs the curves, the type of neckline. These are all subconscious decisions, no doubt, but the motive there is a little more than to appear neutral on the sexiness scale. And what is the underlying motive for these types of decisions, the choices to show off a little more leg and neckline? It is to advertise the secondary sexual characteristics (a well-formed leg, nice boobs, or a mane of shiny hair vs. just a short, utilitarian feminine cut, etc). And if this holds true for the CDer who goes out with the idea to blend in, what about all the CDers who wear outfits with the goal of appearing much sexier than I've just described? Go have a look at the Gallery.

Now if you go out in blue jeans with a high-neck, boxy type sweater, flats, etc, then you are exempt from what I'm describing. But, this is not the type of look that I see in the majority of CD pics.

We have a woman in our office who is a (very) fundamentalist Christian. She is always dressed neatly in outfits that have some color, but she wears baggy clothes up to her neck (a turtleneck under a loose sweater), always long sleeves, skirts that hit her lower calf, dark tights, and black walking lace-up shoes. You cannot see a woman's form under there, no waist. She has long hair that she always wears in a tight bun at her nape. No makeup, ever. She makes an express decision to not feature any of her secondary sexual characteristics. What do you make of her decisions to dress the way she does?

[Jenniferathome]

You make a fine point on the two edge scenarios you describe. The funny thing about your office mate is that men don't need sexy clothes to make a woman attractive. It just makes it easier ;-) But you are right, she's choosing to hide her form. Basically hiding her sex. I honestly believe that for blending in, it is better to show the typical look of the typical woman. That means age appropriate skirt length, heel height, cleavage, etc. Both edge cases you describe are like a flashing light bringing unwanted attention for the blending CD.

in the end, I want to be perceived as a woman when I am out. That "woman" and s my male perception of what "normal" is.

[docrobbysherry]

I'm only interested in attracting the attention of one man.

Altho he's very fickle and particular? By offering him a varied selection of women, to date I've been pretty successful!:battingeyelashes:

[susan54]

Since I avoid men when dressed I do not have any issues with how men react. My outfits are very elegant rather than sexy - this is also the look I admire in women. I am ONLY interested in how GGs react to my look - I do not even have a photo in my profile here. Possibly younger crossdressers who go clubbing and to certain types of bars have real issues with interactions with men, but I don't and never have, possibly because I did not venture out dressed until I was about 40, except in fancy dress. I don't think any of this is an issue unless you want it to be. Classy and elegant works for me and the female audience I want to impress.

[Ally 2112]

Like a lot of the ladies of said i do it for myself since im the only one who see's it .When i dress i try look my best

[Glorialovesheels]

Funny im the same way.. small world... dress to impress myself... I try to be as passible as possible.. but yet I don't go out in public.. Ive also become kind of vain and look in the mirror and take sexy photos.. I guess because its so rare that I do dress up nowadays..

[scarletcd]

I dress for myself. Mostly so I can feel normal in my own skin.

[Kate Simmons]

As I indicated I dress for myself. What I didn't say is that I have a prospective future (I think three dimensionally) and I'm also practicing for that by CDing. :battingeyelashes::)

[Sarah V]

Of course, first and foremost I want to look nice/good for me. Then after that I want to look nice for those people I wish to associate with as Sarah.

[Alice_2014_B]

I am looking nice for myself; like most of us, it is another part of me. Just as Kate put it, it is part of my self-expression. I also see it as a form of art in a way, wanting to perfect it each and every time.

:)

[Jenniferbabe]

Strictly myself. I don't mind when women admire my behind when I am wearing jeans or sweat pants. I really enjoy having hips and seeing the shake/sway when I walk. I always take a light jacket with me so that I can wear it when I come back home to my family and not be obvious.

[CDRMolly]

I would say that for the most I dress for me,liking the way it makes me feel,(not sexually),but at peace with myself.
You can't please everybody so you have to start with yourself.

At some point I would like to have some one who understands these feelings to share it with.

[Jaymees22]

I too am trying to look nice for myself and enjoy putting some effort into looking my best. Jaymee

[pamela7]

its an interesting question, a moot point as to how unaffected any of us are to other people's opinions, given the need to pass or close-enough to pass.

I dress for my own pleasure, but I like to look good for my SO, because that gives her pleasure, and going out I'd dress to be respectful of those I'm with.

At home I'm a "man in a dress", I dont bother with make-up or the wig. Going out, well, then I have to do the whole thing, or be underdressed, mainly cos its about respect for others, and by inference, for myself.