How much has the internet helped?

[Lucy Lou]

How much has the internet helped with our cross dressing..

Even if this is obvious, it is worth repeating.

The fact that I am writing this here says a lot. For so many years some people have dressed alone and wondered if the were the only ones, or were they odd or something else. Now that there are sites like this and so much information out there, it has given many people the answers or just the satisfaction that they are not alone.

Then there is the issue with buying women's clothes and make up. Some people can just go into a shop and get what they want and not worry what anyone thinks. For other's it is more of a nightmare. Yet, buying on line makes it so much easier because it is anonymous.

Personally, it has helped me enormously and I know that there are others that will agree.

In my view, putting the bad stuff aside, having the internet, how it is now, has so many benefits for cross dressing. Long may it continue.:):battingeyelashes:

Lucy Lou xx

[CynthiaD]

Not just the Internet, but the http servers and world-wide web browsers. There was an Internet before the www, but it was nothing. Just email and FTP, both of which predate the Internet. Then there was the pre-commercial http period, which didn't add much. The first websites were just http interfaces for much older FTP sites. But once the Internet was opened to commercial exploitation, the whole thing exploded. Now the whole world is right next door.

But to answer your question, yes the Internet has opened the world for us. I always knew I wasn't the only one, thanks to Sexology Magazine, but that knowledge was of no use. Crossdressing was still something you did in private. (I'm a child of the '50s.) Throughout most of my younger years, crossdressing was illegal, so there were good reasons to keep it secret. But the Internet has helped to open everything up. We still have a long way to go, but communities such as this one are crucial to making that progress.

[kimdl93]

It's hard to measure how much. Subjectively, the whole of the Internet has made a number of things possible. Shopping, especially before I came out and went out, was so much easier. There is of course a lot of information availablele on every aspect of life as a transgendered person...some good some utter nonsense, but that's what our brains are for. And of course, this site has provided opportunity to interact with so many people who share our experiences, fears, questions and examples. The latter has been invaluable.

[Kate Simmons]

I was well established as a CDer long before I was ever on the Internet. It has helped me to find new friends though, especially through this Forum. :)

[Alice Torn]

It made me realize i am not the only one with this compulsion. And, i was shocked to see that most were married, not like single me.

[Mink]

Not just the Internet, but the http servers and world-wide web browsers. There was an Internet before the www, but it was nothing. Just email and FTP, both of which predate the Internet. Then there was the pre-commercial http period, which didn't add much. The first websites were just http interfaces for much older FTP sites. But once the Internet was opened to commercial exploitation, the whole thing exploded. Now the whole world is right next door.

all I know is that they CLAIM the intra-net came about in 1994/1995ish ... 20 years ago today! ... ******** I say! ... it was more-so 1996/97 when it REALLY got going!

to say nothing of 1993 or 1991 or 1989 (nope! no world wide webby I just don't see it!)

but that is neither here nor there!

things between oh say 1999 and 2003 were quite groovy!

but then youtube and anti-myspace people and tumblr and twitter ruined everything!

web 4.0 in space!


internet for ME has maybe somewhat helped... in learning of others and their stories or views on the many aspects of CDing (and beyond!)

but I would say for me (personally) what I read about people no longer feeling as strange or so alone or odd... doesn't ring all that true!

I feel like sometimes the internet really HURT me in terms of confusing me and getting more into or addicted to the badder sides of CDing (over-buying / obsessing / etc) which probably affected my life in ways I could never quite know at the time in regards to relationships and day to day life

such is mango


lord knows all those storysite / sissy satin hypnotized pink panties etc type stories really warped my fragile young man mind!

I was a wee lad!

[Emily CD]

The internet opened up a whole new world for me. Yes, I will repeat what many others have said in that for years I thought I was the only person that did this. The ability to shop online and find things in my size is wonderful. Outside of the support groups, not the least of which is all of us here, the best thing for me is being able to see actual women dressed in the style I prefer. The challenge then becomes finding outfits that resemble their appearance. Looking back, which is always so easy to do, I wish I would have waited longer to get remarried (if at all). Couple this lifestyle with the internet and everything those 2 worlds bring and I guarantee things for me would have drastically different.

[Cheryl T]

I simply wish it had been around when I was in my teens and twenties. It would have made a huge difference in how I felt about myself at that time and I'm certain it would have changed my entire approach toward this and life in general.

[Adriana Moretti]

the internet is the devil and is outting you.....no..im kidding........I'm glad its been around i started dressing when the internet was in its early stages....remember chat rooms?? A.S.L ?? OMG ... .....but it has definately helped me learn alot and in return share with others.

[junetv]

As a person who grew up in the 70's/80's it let me realize that I wasn't alone when I got on AOL in the early 90's, perused newsgroups and ftp servers in the late 90's. Then there was the geocities phenomenon, now we have flickr, facebook, instagram, twitter, reddit, and crossdressers.com to relate to each other. For myself, I use the internet for shopping :)

[~Joanne~]

I am sure that we all thought we were alone for the longest time so the internet surely blessed me in the fact that I am not. I have met, through this site and the internet, so great sister's, GG's, and made friendships that will last me the rest of My life. Being able to share all things CD related, the good, the bad, and the ugly is also a huge plus.

I do most of my shopping in the stores BUT I also shop online because a lot of what I want, my style, isn't on the shelf's. I am starting to think they send all of the things that can't sell online into the stores these days because their selection is way better online. It's the wait that kills me lol

Also, thanks to youtube, there isn't a thing you can't find out on "how to do" it. I have found this to be the best resource for learning make up and everything else in between. So while there are a lot of bad things about the internet there also just as many positives.


the internet is the devil and is outting you.....no..im kidding........

Sadly, though your kidding, it may be doing just that with the way they are tracking and such these days which will only get worse in the future. No one really knows how far their over reach really goes until the hammer falls. Just sayin.....

[Sarah Louise]

I couldn't agree more, although I wonder if the fact that it's so easy to buy clothes on-line in secret is one of the reasons why I've started cross dressing again after so many years. I don't have very strong desires to cross dress - I just enjoy it when I get the chance and think maybe if it wasn't so easy, it may have stayed as a deep down desire that doesn't surface. Now this is fine all the time I stay in the closet, but what if it comes out and things turn for the worse and it ruins my marriage?

[Mink]

the geocities phenomenon, :)

yes!

I made a geocities website in 1999 and maintained it quite well into a warped little megasite up thru 2001ish! ... I was so happy it all lasted as long as it did (until 2009! the 10 year anne of my website man!)

I also remember some weird chat room in 99 where i'd make a room called Boys in Panties and sure enough when people found out I was only 15 they got pretty nervous!

ahaha!

oh early internet innocence!

we can never get that back!


also the big message forum for me at the time was pantiesetc (anyone remember that one?) ... that place was the true birth of The Mink!

after it went down it took me quite some time of looking at this board before I signed up and then two more years before I posted for some odd reason!

I still get scared!

[Allison Chaynes]

Yes it has. Like Mink, PantiesEtc was a huge help to me to figure out what all this was, and helped me come out to my wife years ago. This site has also been helpful, as many girls here have great experiences and advice to share. I do get frustrated with every other post being edited or deleted for whatever reason, but hey, it's part of it.

[Sarah Smith]

Great Question! I know for sure i would be nothing like the person/cder i am today if it werent for the internet, this site has been amazing but also im sure the possibilities of internet shopping have been the foundation for many a closeted girl's wardrobe!

Makes you wonder how future tech will change Cding?

Clara x

[Paula_Femme]

I'm in my mid 50's and started dressing in my early 20's... LONG before the Interwebs! :heehee: I now do all my shopping online; it's WAY more convenient, and, of course, private.

For those that struggle with accepting themselves, wherever they may be on TG spectrum, sites like this must be an absolute Godsend, and of course for our SO's, including my own girlfriend, or friends/family that we confide in, sites like this can help immeasurably in their understanding of, and hopefully acceptance of, us.

For those reasons, and many others, I would say the Internet has been a force for good.

[AletaHawk]

I've barely lived in a world without the Internet, but it's certainly helped me discover so much about who I really am. Just in the past few months on this site, I've come to understand what my impulses and attractions mean.

I'd be miserable and lost without the Internet in so many ways.

[carahawkwind]

It's helped a lot, it's helped me understand it, helped shop, help learn how to dress and do make up, helped find support. If I was 10 years younger, I'd likely be into dressing more and be more out about it at a much younger age.

[Starshine24]

This is what is so amazing about the internet.... It gives everyone a chance to connect. Even those like me.. WiFi reaches into the closet! Amazon has given me an embarrassment-free shopping attitude (as long as no one looks at my browser history!).

[krissy]

The web helped me see that i wasnt alone in this world.That im okay and now that i see that im at peace with it .im a crossdressers and Proud of it !!:dom::):)

[nicoleb]

Before the internet I thought I was the only one around who enjoyed this hobby. Since the internet came along I found out there are lots of others like me. :-)

[ossian]

I've lived a long time with this. And it has been a real srugg!e at times, But the internet and in particular this web site has helped me not feeling alone.

[Crystal Beth]

Wow, where to start! I have learned proper makeup through Internet. Before it was all trial and error because I did not have a GG in my life that I could learn from. Then there was finding others like me. That meant so much being able to find support and helped me venture out into the world and not be ashamed of who I am. Shopping has been fantastic. I am not afraid to shop in stores but I was petrified in the "early days".

[bridget thronton]

And great deal of help - this was not the first forum I found but it is the one I spend the most time in

[Jaymees22]

Yes, the internet certainly has helped me. It's nice to know we are not alone, but sometimes it masks the fact that we are still a very small minority. That said I have learned a lot here about make up, clothing, shaving etc. etc.. It's also important to hear of others experiences out in the world and if it's safe to do them. Hugs Jaymee

[Helen_Highwater]

I can remember during the days when internet access was becoming the norm that even searching for "Crossdressing" felt like I was looking for pornography. I had no idea as to how many others there were who were like me. The explosion in on-line shopping had a huge impact upon my dressing as up to then anything I had was a liberated cast-off destined for the charity sale so everything was squeezed into as everything was to small.

So finding sites like this, being able to draw on the experiences of others, finding 1000's of pictures of other cd'ers on photo sharing web sites such as Flickr, all these things have giving me ever more confidence. I now have "My clothes", things that fit and suit me, footwear that doesn't cripple my feet. I think it's impossible to underestimate just what a colossal impact the WWW has had in taking me down a path that had helped fulfill my need to be the person that I am.

Helen

[Karen kc]

It has helped greatly. Just knowing that I am NOT the only crossdresser in the world helped me a lot!

[sometimes_miss]

It's helped, and yet also caused me to face reality. It was certainly nice to be able to buy the clothes that I've always wanted in the right sizes, of course, including girl shoes, which I hadn't worn since school days because of my huge feet. And yet, it also allowed me to test the waters to see exactly how women really felt about men who crossdress, and that experiment came back with results that sort of shocked me. I had always believed that crossdressing was just like any other behavior that women don't particularly like, but would tolerate if there were enough other good qualities in the man. I had no idea of how much it negatively influenced whether a woman would be attracted to us. I did learn all the things that naturally charming men do that ARE attractive to women, and that has helped me tremendously in the social arena. Searching through all the dating guru's advice also helped to shape my knowledge of how the subconscious plays a huge part in male female relationships too. Without the 'net, I'd be just another 'lost' old guy, with no hope of any female companionship at all. At least I was able to learn how to 'act' the part of a successful, charming, normal heterosexual male. Thanks, internet. LIfe would have been even rougher without you. For example, right now, I'd be typing a letter to myself.

[Lynn Marie]

It's hard to imagine that any of us would have gotten out the door without the Internet. And without people like us getting out the door, there would be no "T" in LGBTQ. The Internet has helped me find clothing that will fit me, helped me to find friends of a similar ilk, helped me to find places to go dressed with CD girlfriends, and finally helped me to find classy lingerie, wigs, forms, and heels that are just not available in the brick and mortar shopping world! Oh yes, I can well remember how pathetic my CDing was before the Internet and my eventual liberation because of it.

[Angie G]

The internet is a great thing. But there is parts if it we could well do without. I love this part of it talking to all you girls.:hugs:
Angie

[SandraInHose]

Yeah, chalk me up as yet one more who thought he was the only person in the world who did this hobby. As a confused high school kid, I knew I was attracted to women only, yet why did I get such a thrill when I'd dress up like one? Thought for sure there's gotta be something wrong with me, and I always felt like I was different than other men.

Fast forward to about the year 2000 (age 39) when I first got the internet, I sneakily Alta-Vista'ed (no Google then!) CD'ing, and I was overwhelmed by how many more were just like me! Made me much more secure in my sexuality, and gave me so much great information that I could never find at the public library!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Lucy Lou, It's the best thing that ever happened to Crossdressers.

[Jane-C]

I simply wish it had been around when I was in my teens and twenties. It would have made a huge difference in how I felt about myself at that time and I'm certain it would have changed my entire approach toward this and life in general.

I could not agree more. I am 48 so I have benifitted greatly but it would have been great to have had the info that is on the net when I was in my teens.

[Katey888]

Yes - I agree that it helps both practically and educationally... It has to have the important rider that Lucy finished her OP with: "putting the bad stuff aside..."

It has helped me in practical terms with makeup and fashion, buying stuff (lots of stuff! :)) - but that seems too trivial... Finding this place and other background material has helped me come closer to self-acceptance and less feelings of guilt and wrongness - THAT is really important... I'm sure as a source of information for those who suffer more acute GID it has probably been an actual life-saver, and that value should not be undermined by the seedier side of the web's 'hook-up' and dating aspects... I do fear that younger generations are unable to separate the virtual from the real world and have too much of a dependency on the 'always connected' world... I'm not convinced that's a good thing but maybe I'm just a modern day Neo-Luddite...

As always, some things can be used to good or not-so-good ends... :thinking:

Katey x

[immike]

Lucy Lou-I can tell you how much the Internet means to me,as a closet CD.It is a LIFESAVER! I have ordered so much stuff online,like pantyhose,several skirts&blouses&3 pair of heels,all in secrecy&delivered to my home.I started CD when I was about 14 years old,wearing my mothers clothes,in the beginning.I would wait for her to go to work in the morning&I would spend the morning,prowling her closet,trying on all her dresses&skirts&blouses&tops.I learned to walk in a pair of her
heels,too.Soon,I got bold&took a fresh,unopened pkg of pantyhose out of her drawer&put them on&proceeded to dress in one of mothers good skirtsuits/w one of her
silk blouses&a pair of her heels&borrowed one of her wigs&sat down at her makeup table&did my hair&makeup.I have since built my own colossal wardrobe,but it
was fun when she went shopping(wink)The silky soft feel of womens clothes&pantyhose feels fabulous

[Lily Catherine]

I suppose the Internet is somewhat more tolerant than outside.

When one admin on a Facebook page concerning thigh high stockings outed himself as male after many, many photos of himself in said stockings and a huge number of miniskirt outfits, many of the responses were surprisingly positive.

From personal experience, however, most people in my local community are NIMBY types; crossdressers exist but my son / brother / husband BETTER NOT BE ONE in these peoples' eyes.

Addendum: as a Second Life user with a female avatar, I feel that that part of the Internet has both extreme tolerance and extreme intolerance towards Guys In Real Life (some of whom, like me, can be considered crossdressers).

Also, in certain circles e.g. the local cosplay scene, the term 'trap' is used to derogatorily refer to crossdressers, connotating misplaced lust or attraction, presumably carrying a degree of homophobia no less.

In sum (tl;dr as the Internet itself puts it): the Internet has fewer borders.

[Beverley Sims]

It certainly changed my perspective.
I may have been active for many years but it was a boost for me.

[Emily CD]

Yeah, chalk me up as yet one more who thought he was the only person in the world who did this hobby. As a confused high school kid, I knew I was attracted to women only, yet why did I get such a thrill when I'd dress up like one? Thought for sure there's gotta be something wrong with me, and I always felt like I was different than other men.

Fast forward to about the year 2000 (age 39) when I first got the internet, I sneakily Alta-Vista'ed (no Google then!) CD'ing, and I was overwhelmed by how many more were just like me! Made me much more secure in my sexuality, and gave me so much great information that I could never find at the public library!

Sandra - This sums it perfectly for me as well!

[Mink]

the real question is...

How much has the Internet HURT?

oh god!

[char GG]

I wish the internet had never been invented. Because of the internet, our marriage has been damaged. I hope we are able to repair and overcome the problems that were all started by sites on the internet.

[briana_betancourt]

The Internet has helped me tremendously by allowing me to slowly figure out who Briana is. Without the resources that I've been able to utilize, I'd be even more confused than I already am now.

Plus, the discreet shopping? Love ittt!

[victoria76]

I think it has helped a lot indeed! The online shopping is great, and of course, sites like this! :)

[Shelly Preston]

The internet has helped a lot.

No more trying to figure out if your the only one. Also scouring magazines for any snippet of information. Some of the better book stores had educational books.

Now all the information is at your finger tips. I found a chat room and was pointed in the direction of this forum which has given me some wonderful friends. It hard to believe that was in 2005. It has been a great source of advice, support and information over the years. Also the internet helped me find a few local support groups some of who's members I consider friend not just aquaintances.

[Lee Andrews]

The internet saved me from who knows what. I was miserable, confused, selfloathing and downright depressed because I was a normal guy but I loved wearing womens clothes and I knew I wasn't gay.
Through it I researched Crossdressing, realized I was not the only one and it gave me some inner peace.

[nikki2014]

I can't tell you how much the internet has helped me. I can sit for hours and do research on a specific subject. I read and learn. It's helped me learn that CDing is not just me but for a lot of others as well. It's helped me to realize that I'm not the only one. It's helped me learn how to approach my wife and talk with her, buy clothes online and in public, dressing tips, and make-up tips. And if the articles I've read doesn't help, I turn to the video world. There are so many how to videos on almost anything. It's an endless amount of information that has answered many of my questions. It's been amazing and very, very helpful.

[KatieGG]

I know this is meant for the cders, but let me just say that this site and all of you have been very helpful for me. I don't really post that much but I do enjoy reading the theards and seeing other peoples view. Everyone here has been so friendly and helpful anytime I post something. I was on a different forum for a short time that is meant for wives and gfs of cders and boy let me tell you the negativity and resentment on that site was insane, nobody was helpful and I pretty much got bashed for enjoying and making the most out of my husbands hobby. This board has been a blessing and has helped me understand everything so much better.

[Rebekah_uk]

Interesting question

Without the help of the internet I would say Rebekah would still be a figment of my imagination and tearing me apart mentally. From reading the coming out to loved ones thread here, I would never have found the courage to tell my wife about Rebekah and things have have progressed slowly from there.

Being able to order online and return clothing has helped me figure out very quickly my correct sizes. I am now going to expand my girlie wardrobe a little over the coming year.

So to the question has the internet helped me I would have to say an emphatic yes.

[Requal Jo]

I would have been lost and isolated without the internet and the introduction to all you wonderful people out there, sharing our common interest.

Yes, electronic media has certainly opened up the secrets of our TG and CDing to a more accepting world wide Society.

[Seana Summer]

As many others have said the internet has been a great blessing for many of us who crossdress. It is so comforting to know that there are many others out there like me.

I am glad in some ways that the web was not as developed when I was single in the early and mid 90's, when I could do what I pleased when I pleased. Freedom + knowledge + pink fog + being young and somewhat passable = could have led me down I path that I am glad I didn't travel.

My advice for the young lurkers who may be reading this. Living for the moment is fun, but tomorrow will be here before you know it. Choose the path you want to travel and plan ahead. Once a bridge is burned, it takes lots of effort to rebuild it.

[LilSissyStevie]

Just think, if it wasn't for the internet, men would still be having sex with actual women instead of porn. How barbaric!

[scarletcd]

In short. The web is one of the most important parts of my Trans life.
Apart from just being able to buy clothing etc its enabled me to interact and meet with so many amazing people. I've been able to listen to other stories and share my own. There's been some negatives sure, I've had information about my life taken and used against me blah blah blah but I won't let these experiences overshadow the positives.

[NicoleScott]

It's the best thing that ever happened to Crossdressers.

I agree. But the digital camera ranks way up there, too.

[Sarah Doepner]

I'd forgotten about Geocities and the Transgender WebRing. It was in West Hollywood where I found most of the crossdresser pages and it opened up a world of acceptance and good information to me for the first time. Once you found the WebRing, you could explore. I had been struggling with my crossdressing for years before the Internet became available and it helped me in so many ways, from learning makeup, to building forms, to actually making contact with others for the first time and actually seeing images of crossdressers that were not solely focused on sexuality. My first discussions and opportunity to actually meet with someone face to face, guy-mode in a neutral environment all came through the internet. It was at least 8 to 10 years after I'd begun exploring the web that I finally met with people in my own community.

It is a great source of information and support where I was able to become part of a community. That last item, being part of something bigger than oneself, is so valuable and has probably helped save lives. There is hope out there when you are no longer totally on your own. This medium has shown so many of us that we have value both as individuals and part of a larger world.

There is an on-going effort to make the GeoCities archive stable and available. A link to the Transgender Web Ring can be found at http://hub.politicsnissues.org/hub/tr This brings back a lot of memories from the mid 1990's for me. Wow.

[scarletcd]

I agree. But the digital camera ranks way up there, too.

I honestly don't know where I'd be without my DSLR <3

[flatlander_48]

I have 2 sets of experiences. I sorted out my sexuality pre-internet, but started crossdressing post-internet.

Going back about 24 years, I did a lot of book and magazine reading. Whenever I traveled for work, I always sought out the gay bookstores in the area. I probably had a dozen books and several magazines that I kept locked in an old attache case. Basically that was how I learned about gay and bisexual men and the gay movement in general.

As an adult, my crossdressing started about 12 years ago. The difference was that now I could do research on the internet. This made the process a lot easier. It also led to finding this forum and a couple of others. Shopping was also facilitated as it made going to other towns unnecessary.

All totaled, the experiences were very different thanks to the internet.

[grace7777]

The internet has been great for learning about trans issues and finding great trans resources. Even though I started dressing en femme in late 2007 and started going out in early 2011, I hardly ever went to this website until the summer of 2013, and joined in December 2013. Now I am on this site all the time, and do not know how I ever got along with out it. You ladies have provided me with a lot of great information.

Without this site, I am not sure if I would have flown petty. Readings others tales on flying pretty gave me the courage to do it myself.

This site has caused my tg journey to accelerate greatly and now I am actually considering the idea of transitioning.

[IngeInCO]

Well we wouldn't have this would we?