Felt like Cinderella !!

[Teresa]

Just before Xmas my wife was feeling below par and said she might rest in bed for a couple of hours, so I asked her if she wanted to clean through the house? She looked at me and said," you mean dressed, don't you ?" She raised the what if questions and I assured her that over the years I'd managed to deal most scenarios ! To try and reassure her I offered to show her what I intended to wear but she replied no ! but at eleven she wished to be brought a coffee served in drab ! I went on to add that I'd probably chicken out anyway, but surprisingly I wasn't nervous at all, I guess I knew how comfortable I was going to feel !
My wife took herself off to bed and I changed in the main bathroom, I was fully dressed with some very old heels no wig or makeup only lipstick !
I vacuumed, polished every room and steam cleaned the tiled floors ! By 10.45 I began to feel like Cinderella making sure I didn't go over time ! On the dot of eleven I delivered the coffee, my wife's voice emerged from under the covers , " what are you wearing ?" I replied, " Drab if you care to look !

So it's another step in the right direction, I'm hoping the more this happens, the more normal she will feel about it ! I have a sneaking feeling that she did take a look when I was using the Dyson because I thought I heard the bedroom door close.

To some totally out this may appear insignificant , but many like me it's gaining another step on the acceptance path !

[cdinmd206]

Congratulations. My ex and myself did it the same way. A little at a time.

[Rhonda Darling]

Teresa:

Step by step. Inch by inch. You're making progress, and that's great. No matter how much you want to speed things along, patience will remain most important. Is there any chance she'll ever look at this site? If it were me, I'd do whatever it took to convince her to take a look. Find her some links to some good discussions. Find her links to some of the photo pages and to some of the member's Flickr pages. Give her this link to Lynn Conway's pages of successful trans women: http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TSsuccesses/TSsuccesses.html. Or Lynn's home page: http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/. She is an an early pioneer trans woman and an excellent example that we're normal people with normal desires in life, and normal capabilities, and that our difference can often be our strength.

Glad things seem to be trending in your favor -- you deserve to be able to live your life with the freedom to be who you want to be.

Best,
Rhonda

[Maria 60]

Sounds like a step in the right direction, and it is really great that you are not pushing her and being very patient. Sounds like the relationship is strong, just you telling her to relax and take care of herself, and you stepped up to clean the house, tells me a lot. And in return you got a little bonus dress time. Sounds like a win, win situation. Hope the train keeps rolling forward.

[Leslie Langford]

Teresa, you may have inadvertently stumbled upon something that relationship experts are now touting as a sure-fire way to enhance a relationship...women apparently find it very sexy and appealing when a man does household chores and helps relieve them of that burden (a.k.a the old "nesting instinct", which sometimes overwhelms women - especially those who work outside the home). Statistically, it has also been shown that such men typically get better and more frequent sex, as the "not tonight, dear - I have a headache" syndrome magically abates during those times. Who knew that this also helps with the acceptance of a partner's crossdressing, but here you are - living proof! ;)

Your experiences with your wife parallel mine on so may levels that I could almost swear that they were identical twins separated at birth, even though there is now an ocean between us. And if you have been following my posts, you will realize that I have also been progressing lately via similar baby steps. Yes, the progress is sometimes glacial, but at least it is moving forwards.

History shows that anything is possible if one waits patiently enough...the fall of the Berlin Wall and communism, the end of the Cuba-U.S. diplomatic impasse, Vietnam now a tourist destination and a key U.S. trading partner etc. Who knows, maybe our wives, too, will finally deign to meet our "alter egos", even if it just before the grim reaper hauls us away... ;) :eek: :doh:

[Andrea_cd]

I used such baby steps myself over a five year period i can now dress in front of my wife with out fear of rejection but it took many many hours and days of :bay" steps and patience so happy for you with this step forward lots of hugs

[Tammy Lynn Tx]

As a man I like cooking and cleaning....
Dressed as a woman I LOVE cooking and cleaning.
I have several dresses or skirt outfits that I use for housework, don't have a maids uniform (yet) i keep hoping. my wife doesn't mind Tammy coming home as she knows she can then play "lady of the House" :D I try and make sure she gets the male a bit more than the female and she also has a girlfriend to talk to anytime she wishes.

[Molly James]

Hi Teresa,
So pleased for you as I know only too well how big a step it can feel. My own dressing opportunities are very limited as I rarely have the house to myself so from time to time I'll either suggest to my wife or sometimes even she will suggest to me that I spend a bit of time ironing my shirts for work which either means my wife is going out or she's going to spend a couple of hours in a particular room in the house while I dress & iron a few shirts.This seems to be working well at the moment although I'd love for it to be far more often but I'm also conscious that my wife needs to know her husband is still around & not been replaced by a maid. Sometimes I'll try on a few dresses or skirts & tops whilst other times I'll dress as a maid - none of which my wife wants to see although she has seen me in the maid's outfit.
Things have been rocky at times but at other times they've also been wonderful - we've been out shopping together a few times & my wife has suggested items occasionally. In fact, the other day when we were out shopping, I asked her to humour me while we went into a clothes shop to check out a lime green skirt in the window as I thought it would go nicely with a top I'd bought recently - the skirt was in a sale but reduced to £259 from £419 - having overcome the shock of the price, all my wife could say was "don't EVER comment on my expensive tastes!". So, an unsuccessful shopping trip but a real ice breaker! I wish you the very best with your positive steps.

GiGi.

[jjjjohanne]

I suppose you two could come up with an arrangement where you can wear something pretty and work around the house on a regular basis. My wife started allowing me (before we had kids) to wear whatever I wanted while I cleaned the bathroom. I do not remember everything, but she must have seen me. I only wore a skirt, hose, shoes, and a blouse. No wig or makeup. So, it might have been less shocking for her to see. But I assume she had to see me while I did this. Now, I feel like I have to hide my dressing from her. Since I avoid letting the kids see me, she does not see me either... I should ask her about it.

The novelty of dressing and cleaning wore off for me. Our bathroom was small and the chlorine-based cleaning products were hazardous to the clothes. Wearing a skirt while cleaning the bathroom is not convenient. :)

Joey

[Claire Cook]

Teresa,

Yes, a glimmer of light and hope here. I can only echo what Rhonda and others have said ... take it slowly. It's taken 40+ years for Sue and me to reach where we are (I now dress for a couple of hours most every morning at home, and do most of the household chores that way :battingeyelashes:. What was the Mary Poppins song? "Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down..." ) I guess part of our deal is that there is so much more to our relationship, and she is happy to accept my femme side as long as she gets husband time too.

However, it's difficult to generalize from our own experiences since none of our situations are exactly alike. Perhaps I would let her take the lead here?

[franlee]

Even though I have and had supportive wives the dressing for doing house work was not something that was exclusive. The thing that made it special for me was the satisfaction that while dressing I was doing something for her. I was never expected to do housework by any of my wives. I did it to help take some of the load and pressure off her because she worked a 8 hr job too. All this made me feel good because I was giving back something for her sharing and my not being selfish. Plus it was a plus to the illusion I wanted to experience.

[Beverley Sims]

Teresa,
You seem to have a hard road to go so I wish you all the best with every little advancement you make.