"Lifestyle" goggles

[Sometimes Steffi]

JaimeG introduced us to "Lifestyle", the code word he and his wife use for CD stuff.

Well, my wife has "lifestyle goggles". By that I mean there are many things that she didn't associate with crossdressing until she found out I was a crossdresser.

For example, today she said, "I really hate it when your nails get long." I know what she meant, because I often try to let my natural nails grow long enough so I don't have to wear fake nails. Sometimes I even succeed. But this time my nails are short. They are as short as they've ever been for as long as she's known me. OK. They're not trimmed right up to the pink part like many guys wear them. But, they're probably within 2 mm of white. And yes, I have a couple of long ones at 3 - 4 mm that were too short to cut the last time I trimmed my nails.

She really dislikes my CDing, and she's just imagining things, IMHO.

Just venting.

[Katey888]

Steffi,

I can understand the vent but your wife's not imagining it... she's just found something to form a focus for the things she perhaps didn't like but can now expend her own ire upon... and score some points in the process...

Drawing from my own experience, the way I deal with this (about things non-CDing) is to set what I believe are fair - albeit unilateral - limits in my own mind, and stick to them. That way I feel I maintain reasonable objectivity in my behaviour even if she's being unreasonable... It doesn't always help the relationship, but it does help me feel better about things... :)

And venting helps too... ;)

Katey x

[Kate Simmons]

I've learned in this life that if someone is determined to find something to complain about, they are going to find it regardless of what we may do. :)

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Steffi, You can't please everyone all the time.:daydreaming:

[Tina_gm]

Yes unfortunately this tends to happen. A non cders who decides to go without any facial hair will not be a concern other than maybe their wife will prefer the facial hair. But for those of us who have it, even if occasionally, our shaving it represents something much more for our s/o s. Pretty much any feminine type of interest, a blended style, it carries additional concerns.

[Teresa]

Steffi,
Many of the comments we receive are very one sided ! Do you comment on your wife's nails ?
My wife commented recently that I 'd had enough treats recently, like wearing a nightie in bed ! I stopped her at that point and pointed out that I have never made a single comment about what she wears in bed, whether I like it or not, so why shouldn't I have the same choices ?

I try and grow my nails long she may have noticed but not commented, the funny thing is when I hold my grandsons they both click their nails against mine !!

[SandraInHose]

Amen to the idea of these goggles. My wife will point out many things that she considers odd/unusual/unconventional about me and somehow correlate it to my CDing. Once in a while she actually is on target but 90% of the time she's just grasping at straws.

[Carolana]

In all fairness to the wives represented in these discussions, how many of them knew about our lifestyle before marrying us? Not many is my guess. Attraction is something I studied while single again and learned that we are generally attracted to difference. Women are different from men. They are attracted to perceived strength, to one who takes charge and leads. What woman doesn't like a man who can lead well in dance, for example? I could go on, but my point is that I would assume our wives thought they were marrying a man, only to discover we like being feminine or at least feeling feminine. This would serve to change or diminish attraction in most women. What choice do they have? Leave or live with it. My first wife left me. She considered my 'fetish' a hinderance to my commitment to being her husband. It changed the way she viewed me. I do not fault her for that. I envy those who have wives that are willing partners in the " lifestyle" and not just spectators of it.

[Angie G]

My wife is way cool with my drssing.even with some make-up. The only thing she wants is I keep my mustache. Ithink it her way of keeping me inside the house.:hugs:
Angie

[Beverley Sims]

Steffi,
I am pleased I was able to lengthen the leash around my neck years ago, time will tell, maybe things will ease up one day.