ladies room

[carrie2014]

Has anyone gone out en femme and had a problem in the ladies room If some one finds out that you are a men dressed as a lady and go into the ladies room and that person calls the police. (question) is it against the law to to have a men dressed en femme in the ladies room in any state in the united states

[Jenniferathome]

Really often asked and debated question. Do a simple search oaths forum. LOTS of opinions and discussion.

[stacycoral]

I know that Colorado let you go into the restroom that your dress to present in. Happy New Year to you hugs.

[Nikki A.]

Never a problem, restaurants, Kmart, Wal-Mart,even the NYC Port Authority Bus Terminal during the morning rush. Go in like it's normal, sit & do your business wash and go.

[Rachael Leigh]

I went into the ladies room twice while in Vegas and no issues but that's Vegas but as said just go in don't bring attention to yourself and take care of business and you should have no problems

[DorothyElizabeth]

I went into the ladies room twice while in Vegas and no issues but that's Vegas but as said just go in don't bring attention to yourself and take care of business and you should have no problems


Just remember - In Las Vegas, there is ALWAYS someone watching. (I think Julia Roberts had a line to that effect in Oceans Eleven) LOL

[Eryn]

I'm 6'2" and fiftysomething. I've been going out for three years. In that time I've used hundreds of ladies' rooms. Sometimes I've had to stand in line, which for GGs is often a social event. I've never had the least problem.

Get in, do your business, wash up, and get out. The only time women linger in the restroom is if they are talking to or waiting for friends. Be careful about talking when you can't be seen. Women have no taboo against talking in restrooms and I've had the woman in the next stall ask me to pass her some paper because her side was out. I just handed her some and that was that.

[Linda E. Woodworth]

There is no law against this in South Carolina.

I've used Ladies rooms without a problem. As everyone else has said; get in, do what you need and get out.

I also try to find places where the ladies rooms are single occupant such as a small business or convenience store. The other useful option is the "family" bathroom which has only one stall as well.

[Sarasometimes]

it is not against the law where i live but that doesn't have much to do with the problem someone else may have if you are read. I'm in the closet so I avoid the ladies room if it seats more than one. I have managed to use the larger ones without issue but the stress I feel makes them unattractive to me.
My close brush was a zipper malfunction, but fortunately I was out shopping with an image consultant and she joined me in the stall and unstuck it. We laughed about that many times in the future.

[Kate Simmons]

All things considered, you'd probably make out better in the ladies room en femme. You can never predict if one will object and accuse you of being a "peeping tom" however. When en femme discretion is probably the better form of valor.:)

[DonnaT]

Laws vary by state and even by communities. So know the law where you are.

For example, there is no law in Michigan restricting restroom use. However, the use of the wrong restroom does fall under "disturbing the peace". But if your license says "female" and you go in, do your business and get out, no one should have a way to challenge your use of the "ladies". If your license says "male" and you go in the "ladies", you may be cited for "disturbing the peace" or "lewd conduct" or some other charge, depending on your location.

In CA, under the Unruh Civil Rights Act, all persons are entitled to full and equal accommodations, advantages, facilities, privileges, or services in all business establishments, including both private and public entities.

[sometimes_miss]

As a newly acquired gay male friend wrote (he's in his 40's), he's never had any problems going with the girls to pee or powder up. Most women don't mind flaming gay men around them. As long as you're not staring at them or peering into one of the stalls. My opinion was that it was BECAUSE he was with other women that the ones that didn't know him weren't bothered so much. So if you're with a woman, drag her along, just like real girls do.

[Eryn]

...However, the use of the wrong restroom does fall under "disturbing the peace"....

Everything falls under "disturbing the peace" no matter what letter appears on your paperwork. It's the cop's catch-all for when they can't figure out what else to charge someone with.

However, if you simply get in, do your business, and get out the chances of anyone complaining is nil. First of all, it would be deeply embarrassing to the accuser if the person accused turned out to be a GG. It would also expose the business owner to a lawsuit for humiliating the person accused. In some states (and nations) free access is written into the law so these consequences might apply to the accuser and business owner even if the accused has a "M" on their paperwork.

[Krisi]

There's a question I have asked over and over again without an answer so I'm going to ask it again before I start a thread on it.

It's been said many times that we should use the rest room appropriate for what we are "presenting" as. OK, In my mind I am presenting as female. I try my best to look and act like a female. Wig, forms, hip pads, female clothes and jewelry, beard cover and makeup. I look for a single occupancy restroom or family restroom but lacking that, I would use the ladies restroom.

Now my question: What about the "dude in a dress"? The guy who might be wearing a dress or skirt but is sporting a beard and/or bald head. The guy who makes little or no effort to look like a woman. Which restroom does he use?

"Presenting" has not been defined properly. I'm not sure it can be defined.

[Linda E. Woodworth]

Great Question Krisi and one I don't know the answer to.

Using the appropriate restroom was a huge issue at Southern Comfort. They were almost shut down one year when one of the "girls" stood up to pee in her stall. This was seen by a GG and all hell broke loose!

That being said, the people at SCC cover the entire spectrum but I don't remember which restroom they used.

[anouk]

I have had problems only when using the men's restroom in Finland. There is quite usual custom for women to use men's room because of long queues in front of ladies room and that may annoy some men. I have sometimes done such etiquette mistake just because of the same reason . In some cases I have been firmly guided to use ladies room and once I had a rather sour comment of being in wrong department inside the restroom. In all these cases I have been treated as a woman.

In the night times it can be even dangerous to use men's room as a spotted crossdresser so I definitely use only the ladies room then.

[Jacqueline Vivaldi]

If you pass as female, you can always go into any woman's restroom dressed as female. Just be confident and do it. No one is really paying too much attention. In some states (in US) this is illegal, so if you are dressed and obviously not female, I would recommend that you use the male restroom. In this way, you will have no legal problems, but the chances are good that one of the males there will make an unpleasant comment. In conclusion, work hard to lose weight, learn make-up, dressing well, and have confidence.

[larry07]

As an infrequent member of the "Dude in a dress" fraternity, I would never use the womens restroom. That seems like asking for trouble. I would try very hard to either use a single stall or unisex restroom or hold it until I can get home. I would use a multi stall mens room only in desperation.

[Eryn]

Using the appropriate restroom was a huge issue at Southern Comfort. They were almost shut down one year when one of the "girls" stood up to pee in her stall. This was seen by a GG and all hell broke loose!...

At SCC, with dozens of crossdressers walking around, the complaining GG had a heightened awareness that there were CDers around. She may well have lied about seeing a person standing up in the stall just to create an incident.

In normal situations for a person who is passable or blendable there should be no issue. People just don't pay that much attention to the other people in the bathroom.

[anouk]

I didn't say I would pass every time. I just said the times I have had troubles have taken place because I have passed. Women in Finland seem to pay much attention to the issue. In general no one seem to pay any attention and react unless they are pissed - and in such case not very much able to pay attention to anything.

It's so sad that there are states that won't allow using the ladies' room. In such case you either break the law or get yourself in danger.

[Richelle]

In normal situations for a person who is passable or blendable there should be no issue. People just don't pay that much attention to the other people in the bathroom.

I agree, I use the ladies room al the time and no one has ever taken a second look. They are to busy doing what the came into do to look closely at another "women" doing her business.

Richelle

[Kim_Bitzflick]

Carrie,

I'm in the Greenville area. I've been out to countless venues and used the ladies room in the mall, movie theater, department stores and a couple clubs. I've NEVER had a problem. It depends on how well you present. If you are comfortable with your appearance being fairly convincing, you should be OK. Just get in & do your business & don't linger.

Also, I go out clothes shopping with my wife (in girl mode), I try on clothes in the ladies dressing room. Sometimes I'll even discuss potential purchases with other customers (like one time I was trying on swim suits).

I hop this helps.

[Sarah L]

I recently took a road trip in girl mode. Five hours each way. I stopped at a rest area in West Virginia, hoping for a family restroom. They had one. When I started in that direction, a man working at the rest stop pointed out the ladies room. I thanked him and went in. I don't know if I passed or if he was going by some policy regarding crossdressers.

On the way home, I stopped at a Walmart. Encouraged by the earlier event, I went straight into the ladies room. There was a lady in there, looking into the mirror as I walked behind her. I can't say if she even saw me in the reflection. She never said anything.

Those are the only occasions that I used the ladies room. I had no problem either way.

I would say that if you feel you can pass a casual glance, you will probably be able to get in and out without being noticed.

Just my opinion, but, if you have a beard or are bald and don't use a wig, you aren't really presenting as female (even if you feel like a female) and shouldn't use the ladies room.
I think if you have reason to believe your appearance will make others uncomfortable, you probably should use a family bathroom or gender neutral bathroom. The ladies have a right to feel safe just as we do.

[anouk]

Just my opinion, but, if you have a beard or are bald and don't use a wig, you aren't really presenting as female (even if you feel like a female) and shouldn't use the ladies room.
I think if you have reason to believe your appearance will make others uncomfortable, you probably should use a family bathroom or gender neutral bathroom. The ladies have a right to feel safe just as we do.

Agree, that's a fair deal.

[BillieAnneJean]

Whatever you do, completely shut off and defeat anything that can take a picture. So if you have a camera, pull the battery out and put the battery in a separate compartment in your purse. Put the camera in your purse and close the purse so the camera can not be seen. Completely shut down you smart phone. Make sure there is no way you can be confronted by law enforcement with any functioning image capturing device.
Do not linger. Get in and get out.
Go in to the stall, lock the door, face the door, get ready and SIT.
Wipe then stand, flush, and put yourself back together.
While in the ladies room DO NOT look through the gaps in the partitions.
Do not push on any door that is closed. The last thing you want is for a woman sitting there to be startled and get a good look at you. Startled + odd person looking + embarrassment = problem for you.
If there is a single stall room, use it instead only because it eliminates the risk, however minor or extreme you perceive them as.

[Claire Cook]

We seem to have gotten away from the original question posed: is it illegal for a CD to use the ladies' room in any state? Even if it is, I'd treat it the same way as strict adherence to speed limits on the interstates.

[CherylFlint]

Major against the law.
In the mall, go to a department’s store washroom. Try and scope it out to make sure it’s not too crowded.
ALL malls have undercover detectives hired by the store to prevent theft.
So you better “pass” and not look like a guy in a dress.
Avoid eye contact and if someone speaks to you, point to your throat and whisper “Laryngitis”.
While in the stall, do what girls do.
DO NOT LINGER!!!
IN and OUT.
Stay safe.

[Eryn]

Major against the law....

Tennessee's law is fairly medieval, but transgender rights are mandated in Knoxville, Memphis, and Nashville, as well as the rest of Davidson County.

[Krisi]

As usual, there are several anecdotal experiences presented where X used the ladies restroom without incident. That doesn't answer the question about the legality of doing so.

I wouldn't take the word of an Internet poster without a link to the law. Sometimes people get confused or have an agenda.

[Sarasometimes]

My state requires reasonable accommodation for gender expression, gender identity... (ie. how you dress...). Now that sound clear as mud to me, reasonable to whom? For me, I can't find out the hard way that although I was arrested wrongly my face/name ends up in the newspaper. I plan so I can enjoy my outings without the stress of seeing if it goes well. I have done it without incident several times, but..

[ophelia]

Whatever your local bylaw is I think it's a safe bet that few people are aware of it. Which means that s*it can still happen when nature calls. I always use the ladies'. Men probably punch harder....
So:
1 - Avoid eating/drinking too much well before your outing, especially things like coffee and beer. A banana or two will slow things down and reduce that need.
2 - If you are wearing lower body foundation garments they will restrict your bladder...really something think about.
3 - Scout out the loos in advance, especially "family" rooms and even handicapped ones..
4 - Get in and out in a hurry, take the stall nearest to the door and take along some hand sanitizer to avoid the sink/dryer confrontation. If you can, wait until the coast is clear to egress, especially if there are children.
5 - Be a lady and sit to pee. Your feet are visible and toes pointed the wrong way with a Niagara Falls soundtrack is a dead giveaway.

Again, law or no law, someone is bound to make at least a fuss. It's a tough world out there, be careful ladies!

[Lorileah]

OK here's the scoop from the ACLU and their web site

Does the law protect a transgender person's right to use the restroom consistent with his or her gender identity?

There's no clear answer because very few courts have considered this question. The Minnesota Supreme Court has ruled that even a law prohibiting gender identity discrimination does not necessarily protect an individual's desire to use a gender identity-appropriate restroom at work. The Tenth Circuit in 2007 upheld the Utah Transit Authority's decision to fire a transgender bus driver, based on a claim that her employer risked liability for her use of public restrooms along her bus route. In a non-workplace context, a New York appeals court has ruled that it is not sex discrimination for a building owner to prevent transgender people from using gender identity-appropriate restrooms in a building housing several businesses.

Some jurisdictions (e.g., Colorado, Iowa, San Francisco, New York City, and the District of Columbia), however, have indicated that denying transgender people the right to use a gender identity-appropriate restroom violates nondiscrimination laws. In addition, Washington's Human Rights Commission states that "transgender employees should be permitted to use the restroom that is consistent with the individual's gender identity." Some jurisdictions (e.g., Iowa, San Francisco, and D.C.) make clear that transgender people cannot be required to prove their gender to gain access to a public bathroom, unless everyone has to show ID to use that bathroom. Other jurisdictions (e.g., Chicago) continue to allow businesses to determine whether a transgender patron is given access to the male or female bathroom based on the gender on his or her ID.

Many businesses, universities and other public places are installing single-stall, unisex restrooms, which alleviate many of the difficulties that transgender people experience when seeking safe restroom access. While this is often a useful step towards addressing the needs of transgender people and others, we believe that transgender individuals should have the right to use restrooms corresponding to their gender identity rather than being restricted to only using gender-neutral ones. If you have specific questions you need to contact the local government or the local trans center.