New Year’s Resolution #1

[Karen62]

I am brand new to the forum (hello!). 2014 was an incredibly complex year for me, filled with big changes, challenges, disappointments, but some optimism as well. Without getting into boring detail, I was confirmed in having a genetic condition that can lead to kidney failure, but my genetic condition is not the commonly seen version of this disease, so it is not clear at all when or even whether or not, the disease will ever manifest itself into a fatal disease. However, that revelation, has led me to look at the quality of my life, and to seek answers to questions that have haunted me for years (well, decades!). (Please note that I am OK right now, so this is definitely not a plea for sympathy or worse, pity!).

To do that, I made a resolution to myself to begin the process of exploring this crossdressing life of mine. I’ve been a secret participant since I was a young child, and the “compulsion” (not sure of that is the best word…) has only gotten stronger and deeper over time. So as New Year’s Resolution No. 1, after a long time of silently lurking on this wonderful site (and learning so much from all the amazing people here!), I became a member of the site last night. I want to humbly begin participating in the conversation rather than just lurking. So my overarching New Year’s Resolution is to find out more about this aspect of me, and one of the best ways I can do that is to talk with those who have walked this path before me. Thus I am here!

As the newbie here, my quest to learn and participate has only started. To start this effort off right, I’d like to ask what all of you are resolving to do in 2015. Any thoughts? Please share! Thanks!

Karen62

[Jenniferathome]

Welcome Karen. I think we all lurked for some time.

I have no special resolutions. Life has been good to me and I am happy to take some amount of credit for that. I plan to enjoy a great year of bike races and time with my wife and adult kids as they begin their independent lives.

[Nadya]

Welcome! I've decided the only resolutions pertain to this part of my life. I want to spend more time being comfortable with myself. That means dressing more even if not leaving the house and finding more to do outside the house as myself. I'm still trying to decide if I should bother telling anyone else about this side of me as well (only my SO knows and she's accepting of it). I think I might also try to go to a makeup store to get some tips on how to do my makeup better. Hope that helps!

[Vikky]

Hi Karen
My New Year Resolutions are:
1. Dress more frequently
2. Try and move out of a DADT arrangement and dress more openly with SO.
3. Wear bra, forms and nightdress overnight.
4. Broaden the content of my wardrobe.
5. Lose some weight to help get a better femme shape.
I hope I succeed on at least some of them.
Vikky

[priyajeanbabe]

Hello Karen ,Thanks for that question and am also a newbie here.
I haven't made any New Year Resolutions (never made in the past though). For a change let me make this year.

1.Weight Loss : am on verge of Obesity (actually crossed obese line) .So I badly need to lose lot of weight. Excess Weight is affecting my life every hour of my life. Its affecting my commute to office , energy to do work , to go out , sleeping Hours , CD Desire , other medical complications. So I badly need to lose it.

2.Be sweet to my Wife: Though we all girls like to be caring and sweet ,sometimes I cross my border and show anger as emotional burst (happens once a month :sad:). I want to treat her like a Princess and make her feel like one.

3. Pray Regularly: Gonna Pray Regularly and ask God to make my Wife desire for me to embrace femininity.The reason ,if am gonna reveal my Femininity to my wife and if it hurts her , it would hurt her in very big way ,so am never gonna tell her.I want her to tell me to embrace it.

This are the 3 ,which comes to my mind at this moment. If I get more ,will let you know Dear.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Hi Karen,

I'm very glad your wake-up call is non-fatal, but I can well see how it's made you reevaluate your whole life.

You don't mention whether or not you have a significant other. It would be helpful to know because for most of us the SO's acceptance or non-acceptance is the largest factor in being able to come some way out of the closet without actually going public. If you're single, you don't have to worry about home life, unless you have a particularly nosey family member who might go through your things!

I was lucky in that I was never shamed for early CD experiments, partly because I started about 13 and knew enough to be cautious. I'm sad that you were made to feel bad about wearing the tights (I've looked at your other posts) and I hope reading here has reassured you that although CDing may be unusual, it certainly isn't rare and most certainly isn't anything to be ashamed of.

Obviously you've read enough here to know to be cautious. The pink mist may lead you to be more daring, in perhaps venturing outdoors, or confiding in friends or family- be wary- once you tell ANYONE no matter how far you trust them, your secret is no longer safe. We'll assume that the therapist you mention is an exception to the rule.

My own NY resolutions? Continue to lose weight, continue gently encouraging my wife to accept my CDing; get some black strappy heels that fit and a few more wigs; spend a few weeks back in the old country with my gay friends who totally accept Nikki, and buy more goth clothes- that's one direction my fashion instincts seem to be leading me.

What kinds of clothes would you ideally like to wear? What do you already own?

Happy New Year Karen- may all your dreams come true.

xxNikki

[Karen kc]

I"ve got to loose weight, 52 extra lbs. is killen me!! Quit being so cranky and of course dress more.


love to all!

[Kandi Robbins]

Welcome Karen! Being approximately the same age as you and having made the same sort of resolutions in my life this past November, I have resolved to continue exploring this side of me that I have denied and hidden all of my life. I'm not much of a New Years Resolution gal, so I got the jump early. I have also resolved to enjoy my life more by enjoying ME more. This whole process has taught me that you can't love others unless you first love yourself. Enjoy the ride!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Karen, Welcome to our forum, When you are you are home.
If you have a question there's some one here that will have an answer to your question.:hugs:

[Karen62]

You don't mention whether or not you have a significant other. It would be helpful to know because for most of us the SO's acceptance or non-acceptance is the largest factor in being able to come some way out of the closet without actually going public. If you're single, you don't have to worry about home life, unless you have a particularly nosey family member who might go through your things!

Nikki, I am just getting started, so I have not yet revealed all -- yet. :) I was married for a very long time, but the marriage was romantically dead for most of that time, so she finally left me for greener pastures (CD was not the cause of the split, though). I then dated a bit, and thought I had found my perfect (or near-as-perfect-as-possible) partner, but after several years together, that relationship ended in a sudden surprise cut-off (that story would take a novel-length post to explain). So now I am alone, free to explore this side of me as much as I want (or as I wrote in another post, as much as possible, in an attempt to take the novelty out of it in a failed effort to control it).

Living alone works for me. I do have friends who give me a social life (although none know of the CDing), and I volunteer for a non-profit which also contributes to that socially necessary part of life. I do miss the deep, intimate companionship, but I do not miss the drama and chaos that represents all of my past relationships. The benefit of avoiding the latter slightly outweighs the sacrifice of the former, so that's my life right now.

One thing I addressed in 2014 was my weight. I had gained quite a bit over the years, and when my last relationship died so unexpectedly (the relationship, not the woman!), I was angry, upset, frustrated, confused, heartbroken, and decided that I would NOT try to lose weight as I didn't want to date, and if I was fat, no one would want me. Well, that, I suppose, was true. But there are repercussions to being fat in your 50s, and my health started taking hits on multiple fronts. So in 2014 I decided to lose weight, not to make myself more attractive for a new potential partner, but solely for my health. And I've officially lost 50 lbs. so far over the last 6 months (and I have a few more to go). One unanticipated benefit to this is that while none of my old wardrobe fits anymore (male or female), I realized I could now fit into feminine clothing options I could never enjoy before, and that is a surprisingly big part of the satisfaction I've gotten through this process. I've fallen into the upper end but still mainstream of available clothing options (although my male shoulders and barrel chest still do me no favors)!

As for what I own, I just purged almost all of my old clothes to charity, not out of CD angst, but because they were like circus tents on me. I am building a new wardrobe now, and I love it. (I won't get into details -- I already had one new post deleted because it was a clothing post, and this is not the forum for that discussion -- a rookie mistake I won't repeat!). But more to come over time. Thanks for your concerns about my health, Nikki. That's really sweet and appreciated.

Thank you to everyone for making me feel so welcome. You have no idea what it means to me. :<3:

[Stephanielawrence]

Your New Years resolution is the same as mine! Be more active in this part of my life! I signed up on this site yesterday as well and plan to attend a support group meeting soon! Good luck!

[Katey888]

I never make resolutions as such (or if I do they're 'Decade' resolutions - just gives me more latitude to finish them! :heehee:) but for me I do have some goals I'd like to hit for this year... Actually, I just realised they're all posted on Adriana's blogspot (for those of you that haven't seen it there are some great articles and awesome GG photos... here: http://sexycrossdressergurl.blogspot.co.uk/2015/01/what-is-your-crossdressing-new-years.html) with a few other girls' perspectives too...

What becomes of increasing importance to me (it seems with every potentially decreasing year... :eek:) is something I alluded to in another thread. Life is experiential. If you don't experience things what are we really here for..??? I don't have the drive to dress as frequently as many of you, but I really do like to do it well when I do, and after getting out for the first time ever in 2014, I certainly don't want that to be the last! No sir/madam...! I would love to meet more of the beautiful and generous people that have befriended me here, so that really would be my most awesome Decade task to try to accomplish.... but that would be at least two other continents and several countries... long-term planning needed for that! :thinking:

Katey x

[KC Samanatha]

Karen,
Thoughtful question to be sure.
I don't make new years resolutions, however the past year of 2014 I did make one thing clear to myself. I was going to go to a Transgendered group meeting in town! I did that finally in November. This year I am going to get out of my house and go some where. Being in my house with just myself to talk to is getting old. So I guess that is my "Resolution" for this coming year.
Congrats on not "Lurking in the shadows" I know I was like that for a few months before hopping into this site. Your right it is full of wonderful people who provide something that alot of us long for. "Acceptance and Hope".
Good luck with all the other things in life.

Sami