How do you manage it all??

[Mia27]

Crossdressing, college, life, and a relationship. How the hell do you make it all work?? Haha, being pretty young still and living with my GF, it has been an experience all on its own, but adding crossdressing seems like a handful at times. Money has always been the biggest player in my life, as it is with anyone, having bills and a GF can be expensive, and having the deals with crossdressing, I am amazed i keep myself out of debt, AND paying for college... its crazy. I guess what I am saying, is how do you manage to get things for your urges, such as clothes, wigs, and anything else, without breaking the bank. I am really good at keeping a budget, I am extremely cheap:P I just wonder how you all do it? and justify spending that extra money, since this is more of a habit than a need. Except for the fact that it does feel like a need!!!! haha anything helps:) thanks!!:)

Some extra info: I use a lot of hammy downs from my GF and her mom, since we are all the same size and style, it works:) But I don't like taking all the extra makeup from my GF, i feel so awful because i know the price of it all! And i really want to dress up in my own clothes. Idk, maybe I am being crazy! Plus i need a new wig.. mine got damaged and all tangled up...

[carahawkwind]

I went through long dry spells of dressing when I was younger, just was too much sometimes, especially the money side. At least you don't have a crazy and curious three year old; now I have enough money to buy clothes and a wife who is on board with my dressing and I'm finally confident enough to go out some but barely have the time to go out on drab dates with my wife, nevermind dressed ones.

[Jenniferathome]

Well Mia, if money is tight, you just need to be pragmatic. Cross dressing should never, ever come before school, work, and relationships. Make fewer purchases, but make them count. For example, one outfit every season. Buy staples that you can wear in combinations with other things, like a simple black dress and skirt. Wigs are somewhat expensive, but buying a better quality wig will end up being cheaper in the long run. Think about all the things you buy as an investment. Make good investments.

one more bit of advice: something my wife always asks me is "Where will you wear it?" Answering that question will eliminate bad purchases.

[JenniferR771]

A girlfriend and her mother on board. Wish that happened at my house. With a limited budget you have to shop carefully. Most of my wigs came from thrift stores, but keep shopping, many times they have not one on the shelves; sometimes more than one. Likewise makeup; it varies a lot in price. Discount stores are fine, if you can accept the quality of unknown brands. Also, sometimes you can find "Makeup-kit Gifts". All in one, in a big case that includes eye pencils and 30 shades of eyeshadow. Popular around Christmas. You can always buy it for "my sister's birthday". Happy shopping.

[victoria76]

I only do it on occasion so it's not too big of a deal for me... I can see how expensive it could be though! :)

[jamielynn_ca]

I've found some great clothes at Goodwill. Find one located close to a more upscale part of town and you'll probably find better brands and quality.

As for hair... sounds like you have youth on your side. Grow it out, in 6 months you might not need a wig. I had hair past my shoulders at 30, and now totally regret cutting it.

["Gabriela"]

I like to think of growing my hair. But I'd definitely would have to take much care of it so it doesn't look like a thrash metalhead's! XD
You should definitely try to get only the necessary makeup, so don't try to wear a lot of it. Just try to look very natural, you are very young and can do wonderful things with your face without much effort. Give a nice and clean style to your eyebrows too, it's a must!
Goodwill is a good option for low budgets. I should definitely go more often :o You don't need to go to a mall to spend money on overpriced stuff that -believe me- will be too at goodwill for less that half the price!

[victoria76]

Goodwill can produce some nice items at terrific prices indeed! :)

[docrobbysherry]

We have a lot of thrifts, discount outlets, and consignment stores where I live. If u r careful and only buy things u actually need and will wear? U can dress for peanuts!

U don't need fancy gowns until u begin attending T conventions in your 40's+. By then? With careful planning, you'll be able to afford whatever u like.

If u don't plan and control your future, it will control u!

[Karolyn]

Gabriela, growing your own hair is not a lot of maintenance if you do just the minimum. GGs pay attention to theirs closely as it is often what guys look at, but you can get away more easily in drab. Just use shampoo + conditioner every 2 days (every day will damage hair), go to the hair stylist for a cut (just the split ends) once every 3-4 months, and keep it in a low ponytail during the day, so it doesn't look like a metalhead :) Mia, that part is at least a very cheap way to look more feminine.

Same for eyebrows, it did cost me 8$ and 3 minutes in a nail salon to go from super bushy eyebrows to very nice brows. It's definitely worth it.

For the rest, I spent several years crossdressing while in college, with a low budget. Just limit the frequency of your purchases (don't go to stores too often to not impulse buy, same for online stores), target cheaper clothes for now (simple ones you can mix and match), go to stores like Target or Walmart, you will be able to afford better places like malls once you get your first job.

Does your GF know about your CDing? If yes, you could get more as presents for your birthday or during the holidays :heehee:

[bridget thronton]

Thrifts and resale shops can net you most any items you need (perhaps ebay for wigs, shoes, and makeup). Dollar stores are good places to find name brand makeup too.

[ashleymasters]

It is a challenge. I am married with kids and my wife knows but disapproves so I still sneak around. I just slowly build my collections. I prioritize what purchase should be next and about twice i pull cash out rather than use my card. After making a handful of purchases over a week i put whats left in my wallet on a prepaid debit card. I hit clearance racks, ebay, payless. I mark encoded reminders on my calendar when sales are coming up. (it's always helpful to ask the staff at a store when a good sale is coming up. many of them are too happy to help when i just tell them the truth. that i am happily married but, i enjoy dressing so it's hard to shop when my family is priority. they usually dish and tell me what day of week or time of month are best to come shop.) Also when i have a dream outfit, i always scour pinterest for ideas on making it happen without paying for a designer outfit. It's all about hunting and juggling. best of luck sweety.

[Marcelle]

Hi Mia,

Lots of sound advice given so far. The one thing I can add is since you keep a budget add a line to your budget (Mia) and stick to it. If you are concerned about using your GFs make-up too much perhaps suggest that you share the cost (part of your Mia budget) that way it is communal and that might help get rid of some the angst.

I agree with Jenn that while you can be pragmatic in you dressing, concentrate on your education and relationship now it will pay dividends later . . . not to mention education should lead to a better paying job and an increase to your Mia budget. :)

Hugs

Isha

[charlenesomeone]

Mia lots of advice here about thrift stores, you can get some great things for little cash.
Makeup can be found in clearance areas just check for expiration dates.

[Kate Simmons]

Just seems to come naturally for me Hon. :battingeyelashes::)

[Linda E. Woodworth]

Hi Mia,

Lots and lots of great advice here. It sounds like you've got a great head on your shoulders where money is concerned. Keep your priorities straight and budget accordingly. Making the right choices now will pay huge dividends later.

You're right to worry about spending too much on yourself. I'm in my 50's and making a good salary and my wife still brought up that fact that I have to have "two" wardrobes! This was when she was less tolerant of my crossdressing.

Good Luck and keep us posted. We're here any time you need us.

Love,
Linda W.

[Claire Cook]

Hi Mia,

Gosh, I wish I had these problems when I was in college -- my CDing was so repressed then. As a 70-ish semi-retiree, I guess my situation is a bit different than yours. The suggestion about GoodWill (and other thrift shops) is a really good one. I find myself buying more clothes there than elsewhere -- lots of tops, skirts and pants for $6 and under. My dental hygienist told me that she bought almost all of her clothes there, and other GG's have told me the same thing.

[nikki2014]

Mia,
There are some great deals out there, you just have to have some patience and find them. I use places like Ross. I went there yesterday and walked away with 2 pairs of leggings, 2 dresses, and a shirt for $40. When I go grocery shopping for the family and throw in one piece of make-up and it seems to lessen the burden of spending it solely on the make-up. I still bargain shop though. At times I see ads at places like CVS, Walgreen's, or RiteAid that advertise Buy One Get One and it might be the second is free or like 50% off. You have to get the store card to do so. Sunday papers have lots of coupons that also have great make-up coupons too. And even the aforementioned stores take the sale and the coupon, or even two coupons, getting it even cheaper. So there are ways to get things on a shoestring budget you just have to find them. Good luck! Nikki

[kimdl93]

You nailed it. Make a budget and stick to it. As a friend says, " it's not how much you make, it's how much you spend"

[Mia27]

Thank you everyone for the advice!!! I will definitely try out the thrift stores:) I have tried ross before. just gotta get the courage to actually buy something!!!:P

[DMichele]

Mia,
I commend you for being financially savvy by budgeting. Also, others have already provided good advice.

Although my circumstances are much different, I feel your concern with regards to affording the clothing, wig, etc. as I also budget my spending of ladies clothes, etc.. But I hope over time to purchase enhancements such as breast forms and a quality wig, more clothes and make up.

Be patient and in time you will be able to look back at this time of your life with a sense of accomplishment.

[Adriana Moretti]

When it comes to spending money on clothes.....one thing I learned is not to impulse buy....you see something you like...wait till tomorrow...wait till next week.....THEN see if you still like that item, everytime i want to go online shopping...I make a list of stuff saw i want....a few days later it is half the size, i took out what was an impulse, what i had nothing to match, and only kept what was needed. Sometimes its worth the wait too, cause a 20% coupon will pop in my mailbox. And shopping in public...i am soooooo picky....unless it REALLY jumps out at me i dont buy it. I can tell because if i decide to leave the mall, and it's driving me crazy that I do not have that item in my hand, i should have bought it. Most times, I can keep walking....shoes though are a different story....you see a pair of shoes you like, JUMP on them , they wont be there tomorrow....with shoes I use the rule of having at least 2 outfits already in my wardrobe that match......if i dont......im opening a whole new can of worms. .....

[tictac43]

All great suggestions!!

Target has been great for me! It's pretty much where I've gotten everything!!

[Charlette-Rose]

95% of my wardrobe comes from Savers! Always while listening to Thrift Shop obviously ^_^ Not shoes cuz not a lot of women have/donate size 14 shoes -_- most unfortunate because I really want some flats but can't afford the ones I see online that are actually in my size :p

[CynthiaD]

That's the advantage of being an old crossdresser. You have more money.