You realized your "passing" fantasy was just a passing fantasy when:

[JessicaJHall]

Just a jokey thread to lighten the mood (or on second thought, maybe not??), these are exaggerated for comic effect, but not without some basis in reality (at least for me).
I won't be surprised if no one wants to chime in with more, and I can't say I'll blame them!!:D

You realized your "passing" fantasy was just a passing fantasy when...

..you bought the supersized press on nails marketed to CDs and the biggest one only covers half your thumbnail.

..you can't find a fitted dress that fits, and you realize you are a size 14-16 above the waist and an 8-10 below.

..your voice goes up a full octave in "girl" mode, and you still sound like Barry White.

..you realize after getting up the courage to shave everywhere, even your butt gets a 5 O'clock shadow.

..you still can't dance.

[Marcelle]

Hi Julie:

You realize after getting up the courage to shave everywhere, even your butt gets a 5 O'clock shadow

If your intent was to make us laugh well let's just say my last mouthful of wine ended up all over my computer screen . . . the visual alone was worth it though :)

Thanks for sharing

Hugs

Isha

[Julie Denier]

... when you realize that nothing gets chili dog stains out of chiffon.

[JessicaJHall]

Thanks for getting it Isha!!, I've been saving that one :D


... when you realize that nothing gets chili dog stains out of chiffon.

ROTFLMAO!! Good one Julie! :rofl:

[phylis anne]

very good loved the 5 oclock shadow one lmao
hugs phylis anne

[Donnagirl]

A few of my many mistakes...

After more than an hour perfecting your make up, you go and blow your nose.

You answer a casual greeting in public with a head nod.

Answering the phone identifying yourself by boy name (whilst maintaing the 'girl voice').


Donna xxxxx

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Julie, I think that the 5-Oclock thing just got burned in to my memory.:devil:

[JessicaJHall]

Hahaha! Good ones Donna!! Argh! The nose thing!! I always get an itch after I put on foundation, I've learned to "scratch" it with a makeup brush, not a cure, but better than nothing, and it doesn't scrape off my plaster!!
Orchid, sorry!!:devil:

[Leslie Langford]

- You discover to your chagrin that women's thongs are not a suitable substitute for a proper gaff or closed bottom shapewear to keep Henry and the twins in line... ;)

- Silcone breast forms need to be treated with TLC to maintain their shape, just like real boobies. :eek: :heehee:

[CarlaWestin]

-After taking a deep breath and cinching the laces to their tightest, you admire your tightly corseted hourglass figure in the mirror. The pain in your lower rib cage with every breath lasts for days.

[Heidi Stevens]

You've slipped on your panties, put on your hip and butt pads, you pull up your control garments, get your pantyhose up, pull up your ponte pants and then remember you had a Route 44 from Sonic just before you started!

[JayeLefaye]

You start at 6:00 to get ready to go out to dinner, but by the time you're actually ready, the restaurant has closed for the night at 10:00.


Jaye

[JessicaJHall]

Awww!! Just fantastic ladies, you are killing me!! :rofl: Love it!!

[paddy]

When putting on a thong, it takes 15 minutes to figure out which openings are for your legs

"After taking a deep breath and cinching the laces to their tightest, you admire your tightly corseted hourglass figure in the mirror, " you realize you forgot to put your shoes on. (borrowed first part from Carla)

[SisAimee]

...I walked into the nail salon where I made an appointment for acrylic French nails and then, 30 minutes later, had to sit with all of the "other" ladies and have my nails dry under a UV blower! (No pressure)

[TinaZ]

OMG! The 5 o'clock shadow line, and the chili dog line had me laughing! I think we ought to take the "Julie & Julie Show" on the road!

[JessicaJHall]

When putting on a thong, it takes 15 minutes to figure out which openings are for your legs

I’ve done that!! lol!


"After taking a deep breath and cinching the laces to their tightest, you admire your tightly corseted hourglass figure in the mirror, " you realize you forgot to put your shoes on. (borrowed first part from Carla)

I’ve done that too! lol!


...I walked into the nail salon where I made an appointment for acrylic French nails and then, 30 minutes later, had to sit with all of the "other" ladies and have my nails dry under a UV blower! (No pressure)

I want to do that… or do I? High-larious sitcom fodder for sure!!


OMG! The 5 o'clock shadow line, and the chili dog line had me laughing! I think we ought to take the "Julie & Julie Show" on the road!

Heehee.. the opening act for for Tina Z? Where do I sign?

[Lily Catherine]

... you put on a back zipper dress the wrong way round when both sides look the same.
... you momentarily forget your outward appearance and speak in your usual male voice.
... you use the toilet at home standing while dressed.

[Sarasometimes]

The hair and makeup is flawless! The new outfit is perfect. Then you get to your truck and realize there is no way in hell you can get into it in a girly way with the pencil skirt and heels you picked out!

[rachael.davis]

...I walked into the nail salon where I made an appointment for acrylic French nails and then, 30 minutes later, had to sit with all of the "other" ladies and have my nails dry under a UV blower! (No pressure)

I've had a couple of fantastic conversations at the dryer table - call it community outreach

[Nikkilovesdresses]

You've slipped on your panties, put on your hip and butt pads, you pull up your control garments, get your pantyhose up, pull up your ponte pants and then remember you had a Route 44 from Sonic just before you started!

You read a comment on CD.com and only understand 50% of the terminology. What on earth are ponte pants? And the last part sounds appalling, like being dragged along a road by an alien.

[Sarasometimes]

I've had a couple of fantastic conversations at the dryer table - call it community outreach

rachael, I to have had great conversations at the nail drying, the waiting area before as well as during both mani's and pedi's. The best is "Oh I'll try the color she is getting." Especially when you know you aren't passing but the right pronoun is used anyway...a fantastic feeling!

[CarlaWestin]

-you turn around to some jerk calling you out in the shopping mall and say, "Oh yeah, M_____? This dude in a dress is going to kick your ass!"

[Julie Denier]

OMG! The 5 o'clock shadow line, and the chili dog line had me laughing! I think we ought to take the "Julie & Julie Show" on the road!

Oh, lord -- the freight costs for the wardrobe trunks would kill us ;)

[Laura912]

You just finish your makeup, put on your wig, and then decide to trim the bangs. The cut ends stick to the foundation so you now look like Ms Harry Wolfwoman.

[Sarah Doepner]

When you see your shoulders look too wide with a tank top on, so you put a short sleeve shirt over it and discover your biceps look too big, so you put a sweater over that shirt only to discover it's 90 degrees outside.

When in an effort to contour your makeup to divert attention away from your nose and chin you look in the mirror and see a Kabuki actor staring back.

[Pat]

I realized it when one sneeze ripped the shoulder seams out of the sheer blouse I was wearing. :(

[Lexi_83]

After getting dressed to kill, and going out with some GG's, the asshole bouncer calls you "Sir" after looking at your ID.

[Roli F]

..you bought the supersized press on nails marketed to CDs and the biggest one only covers half your thumbnail.



cure for this I grow My thumbnails much longer than my other nails , not many people notice though.

[JessicaJHall]

... you put on a back zipper dress the wrong way round when both sides look the same.
... you momentarily forget your outward appearance and speak in your usual male voice.
... you use the toilet at home standing while dressed.
LOL….beeeen there! And there... and there.


The hair and makeup is flawless! The new outfit is perfect. Then you get to your truck and realize there is no way in hell you can get into it in a girly way with the pencil skirt and heels you picked out!
Wanna borrow my car? I have an old 4.5 liter BMW, probably the only passing I'm going to do will be other cars on the 5 anyway.


You read a comment on CD.com and only understand 50% of the terminology. What on earth are ponte pants? And the last part sounds appalling, like being dragged along a road by an alien.
My SO is a GG and we DADT?


-you turn around to some jerk calling you out in the shopping mall and say, "Oh yeah, M_____? This dude in a dress is going to kick your ass!"
If I ever go out, I’m going out with you!!!


Oh, lord -- the freight costs for the wardrobe trunks would kill us ;) ROTFL!! Wardrobe? What about the make up? Does foundation come in drums?


You just finish your makeup, put on your wig, and then decide to trim the bangs. The cut ends stick to the foundation so you now look like Ms Harry Wolfwoman.
OMG ROFL.. I’ve so done that! And they didn't turn out even because it got in my eyes... don't look too close at my avatar.:eek:


When you see your shoulders look too wide with a tank top on, so you put a short sleeve shirt over it and discover your biceps look too big, so you put a sweater over that shirt only to discover it's 90 degrees outside.

When in an effort to contour your makeup to divert attention away from your nose and chin you look in the mirror and see a Kabuki actor staring back.
LOL...I just crank the air in my closet... and slather more plaster:D


I realized it when one sneeze ripped the shoulder seams out of the sheer blouse I was wearing. :(
Bummer!! Ever break a zipper after it’s up? I carry industrial grade scissors in my purse for emergency bailout, since my harrowing narrow escape.:doh:


After getting dressed to kill, and going out with some GG's, the asshole bouncer calls you "Sir" after looking at your ID.
This doesn't count, I bet he didn’t know till he saw your ID!:eek: Then he had to play it cool to cover up the fact he thought you were smokin' hot.


cure for this I grow My thumbnails much longer than my other nails , not many people notice though.
Ooooh, wonderful trick! I’m so trying that.. I’ve figured out growing and painting them is the only way.. and I'm loving the bonus petrochemical intoxication factor. Hey! I'm a functional polisher, dammit!

[emma30]

Hi Julie, your right about top half and bottom half lol, ive always thought that a crossdresser could make a lot of money if they were handy with a sowing machine 👯 Emma.

[donnalee]

The first time you try applying makeup, you look like the good witch of the east; the second time the wicked witch of the west. The third time, Godzilla.

[Betty IA]

I like the one about the restaurant closing - I will never, ever hassle women again about the time it takes to get ready since it takes me twice as long!

[JessicaJHall]

I like that too.. funny and true. But for me getting ready is the fun part anyway:D but takes me at least 4X the time:rolleyes:


The first time you try applying makeup, you look like the good witch of the east; the second time the wicked witch of the west. The third time, Godzilla.

LOL! I always think I look like Baby Jane...

[Lexi_83]

-you turn around to some jerk calling you out in the shopping mall and say, "Oh yeah, M_____? This dude in a dress is going to kick your ass!"I've thought about that but never said anything.

When guys whistle I always think "If you only knew...."

[Stephanie_CD_64]

These are all so good!

Thank you for the laughs!

[MsVal]

... when even your TG friends mis-gender you.

Best wishes
MsVal

[Closeted Kat]

the laughs are great. Thank you for starting this thread julie.
-kat

[sometimes_miss]

I think I was 14; when I realized that even though I was easily able to fit and look good in my sister's outfits, and had beautiful long hair too, and there were enough girls my height (I was about 5'10" at that time), nothing could hide my size 14 clown shoe sized feet.

[Lily Catherine]

... half your phone sticks out of your (women's) jeans, whose pockets are obviously not meant to hold phones.
(Corollary to the above – you realise your jacket pockets do not otherwise exist - just an aesthetic addition at best.)
... you nonchalantly sit in an unfeminine manner on the subway or equivalent despite being dressed to the nines.

[Stephanie Julianna]

When you have more hair on your butt than your head.

[Krisi]

"you realize you are a size 14-16 above the waist and an 8-10 below"

That's when the light bulb in our head goes on and we buy ourselves a pair of padded hips and butt. It amazes me how so many crossdressers will get themselves all dolled up, even tape their breasts for cleavage and then take photos or walk around town without attending to that area.

[Sarasometimes]

You finally get up the nerve to shop enfemme and realize even though it is 98 degrees outside in order to "PASS" a lady's capris and a tee won't cut it without layering with a cute 3/4 sleeved cardigan. You'll be a sweaty mess in ten minutes. Heck go in drab, shorts and a tank and you are golden!

[KristyPa]

The size 14 top and 12 bottom hits home

[LilSissyStevie]

When your fingerless lace sissy gloves smell like Hoppe's No. 9

[Lexi_83]

This doesn't count, I bet he didn’t know till he saw your ID!:eek: Then he had to play it cool to cover up the fact he thought you were smokin' hot.
Thanks, I wish, but the closer you are to a gay or TG club, the harder it is to pass.

[pamela7]

okay so these have already come past this fledgling CD'er ...

1. You need a handkerchief cos tissues just don't cut it.
2. An urge to scratch your balls in public?
3. Indecisive at the public conveniences - which one?
4. All the women in the shopping centre seem to know the shop whose name is emblazoned on your new boots box is a TG/CD-only shop in effect, and look at you "in that way".
5. last night's curry is creating a wind-storm?

xxx