I never Imagined Asking This Question

[Barbara Dugan]

This one is for the out and about ladies..How did you found and master your everyday look?
I have my first and real boyfriend and he loves me and accept me on any way I present on any social situation.
We have been out together me on drab and enfeme but this way only at clubs and with friends , my preferred way is being Barbara when I am with him...my only problem is I am clueless when it comes to everyday and more blendable looks. I really would appreciate some tips :hugs:

[docrobbysherry]

Well, I must admit to some confusion, Barbara? U have been dressing for a long time and u must see how women dress in your area?

What I do when I want to blend, (barf!), is look at what the women in MY area r wearing. I may NOT want to dress that way, but if I choose to, I can easily blend clothing wise.

[AllieSF]

Congratulations Barbara on your success and happiness. As most here will tell you, one way is to go to some of the venues you may go to when out with him, restaurants, bars, movies, whatever, and then just observe how the ladies and girls are dressed. You will probably see everything from super sloppy to almost formal since people go to those places sometimes directly from work or do not have the time to dress up better. You can fit in between very easily. You will probably see a lot of slacks or skirts, blouses and tops, occasional dresses, and very few dresses, higher heels, black nylons, etc. It also depends in what part of the country you live in. Some places are just more casual than others. You can always dress casually and knock it up a notch or two with no problems. You are probably good with just light makeup and toned down lipstick day and night. I get out with a lot of GG's in a group and I tend to be the one dressed up a little or a lot better than they are.

You can try more subdued colors and patterned tops of dresses, which many times draws glances from others to look at the pretty outfit, or just add a solid color sweater. The main thing is that "you" feel comfortable how you are dressed and presenting yourself and once dressed forget about it and concentrate on the moment and him. The few pictures that I have seen of you over the years looked good and never, from what I remember, over the top. I think you can just start and then work on improving over time. Good luck and enjoy.

[kimdl93]

Gosh, that such a personal thing, but here's my approach. Look first at what other women of your size and shape are wearing at places you are likely to go. Look at catalogues aimed at the women you want to resemble. Given my age and statue, I tend towards Talbots, Coldwater Creek (yes they are back) ANn Taylor and Long Tall Sally, to name a few. And it doesn't hurt to shop around and ask SAs for help.

Gosh, I wish I was as slim and pretty as you! I would have to buy more closet space to fit all the clothes that can work for you!

[Barbara Dugan]

Thanks Sherry, Allie, Kim I think I should be looking more to the jeans and capri styles because its what I see a lot of those around here:hugs:

[Alice Torn]

Down there in Houston, it is different than up here in below zero temps. Parkas are the norm, with boots, and jeans over tights or leggings. I think you will observe and see what most wear down there, and make your choices.

[Jean 103]

Barbara congratulations on the boyfriend, it’s all good advice, unfortunately most women to day wear jeans or leggings, with an appropriate top, sweater or coat, flats or boots No makeup or very little, for us means toned down. For me sometimes I will dress to blend and sometimes not. Sometimes you feel like a nut sometimes you don’t. Your avatar looks nice I am sure you will be ok.

[Rachelakld]

it's summer here, so I try to wear summer clothes
238884
but the standard black Nike running pants are also very popular at the cooler times of day and look nice with boots or heels or running shoes.
But yes, if your the only girl in a dress when all the others are in pants, it's harder to blend

[Jenniferathome]

Barbara, it's all about people watching. Really pay attention to the styles, colors, combinations that the average woman puts together for the venue you are in. Whether the mall or a movie theatre or a restaurant, it's mostly casual these days. You can always tell the women who are on a "date" even if it is with their husband or long time boyfriend. Sometimes, the height of a heel alone moves you from casual to dressy.

[Beverley Sims]

I strongly advise you to listen to those around that know you, they will be your best critics, I see no square bits in your avatar so I could not suggest anything unless I saw you personally and was able to judge you then.

If your boyfriend knows, and I think he should, he would be one of the best critics.

[Barbara Dugan]

Thanks Ladies for the advice, I am not a big fan of jeans but understand they area the more blendable aproach 238887

[Eryn]

My "everyday" look is different every day. I first decide what I'm going to do and what will make that easiest. If I'm shopping, it's clothes that are easy to get into and out of, usually a top and skirt. for casual wear on a warm day a maxidress or capris are fun. If it's cold, jeans or leggings are indicated. Will I be walking? Appropriate shoes are a must!

Other factors are what I will be doing in the evening Day-into-evening is a complication.

Once the general plan is made, the closet is opened and some key item will leap out at me. At that point I select other items to match the key item. Shoes, jewelery, and makeup are added to complete the ensemble.

I probably overthink this when compared to a GG. I have a lot less experience and I still need to put a lot of effort into putting an outfit together. Mimi is nice enough to help me but also leaves me along so that I can learn on my own.

[Marcelle]

Hi Barbara,

Well, casual is a really a personal choice . . . I am a jeans gal myself in the colder times and capris/skirts with comfortable sandals in the warmer times. If you are going for blending, the picture of you in jeans hit the mark IMO.

Hugs

Isha

[Katey888]

Looking good in jeans Barbara... if a little casual and understated (I only say that as one of my favourite shops in Dallas was a store that sold JUST Rhinestone studded jeans.. ;)) - but that might be too casual for some venues..?

Like others have said: look around and see what others are wearing - I'm liking loose tops (knitted for me, as it's a bit cooler in the UK) and denim skirts - I think they look good bare-legged or not, and can be dressy with strappy sandals or wedges if you're somewhere warmer.

And what a nice challenge for you to have too... Congratz again for that... :)

Of course, you could always ask him, but we know that men have no idea about fashions, right....? :lol2:

Katey x

[Kate Simmons]

Just observe other women when out and about Barb. That will give you an idea.:)

[charlenesomeone]

Congrats Barbara, you look very fem in the jeans and top. Love that look, very popular here, as
well as short shorts, ( in can't pull that one off haha).
Like the other advice, look around, but I would add, be comfortable yourself, and wear a smile.

[Rogina B]

Maybe you can use some of your "inside "clothes when the weather is hot this Summer! lol Glad you are finally stepping out and have found love! Being comfortable and confident in your look is what it is all about...you can't have any doubts take up any mindspace..Most GG's "dress once for the day"..they aren't living Barbie Dolls changing outfits..Funny thing about "blending" is that eventually you will come full circle in that after 10 years in the mainstream,I don't mind dressing "uniquely" and getting noticed.I find that I enjoy that attention now. You are so cute Barbara that most anything works!

[kimdl93]

I see a lot of girls and women down here wearing leggings, regardless of age and stature, but in my opinion leggings look much better on slim, fit bodies. You look great in jeans, and while it's not cold here by any means, you might have a few weeks where you can top jeans or leggings off with a nice sweater and boots. Just a though.

[heather ann martin]

By checking out other women who look about my age and having female friends who I know will give me an honest opinion on my female appearance.

[Eringirl]

Ya, what she said ! :yt:

I just look around when I am out. There is a great mix, from one end of the style spectrum to the other, but I always find something in the middle that is my style. Also depends on the event and time of day. Out and about doing errands, etc, usually casual, jeans etc. During the week, day time, more professional works, dress pants, or skirt. Good luck !!!

Erin

[NicoleScott]

Ask him how he likes you to dress, even though you said he loves and accepts you any way you present.

[CONSUELO]

Congratulations. Lots of good advice already so I won't add mine. Living in Houston during the hot and steamy summers does present a problem and your idea of capri pants is a good one as they seem to be the comfort clothing item of choice.
Enjoy and good luck to you.

[Lexi_83]

I got some GG's to help me with makeup and accessories. Some support groups have makeup classes. I still need makeup help to be passable at less than about 20 feet....

[Lorileah]

Ask him how he likes you to dress, even though you said he loves and accepts you any way you present.

My favoritest answer here. Dress for You or dress for your SO...those other people don't matter. I look like I am going to the office in a major company everyday and like I am going to the cocktail party the president of said company is throwing that night. Be who you are. If that's jeans then wear jeans (here in Colorado that is the go to the theater look) I wear skirts or dresses 99% of the time. That's MY look. How did I get there? A couple photo shoots and few Youtube videos and a lot of trial and error. I am not a Stepford wife (OK I dress like that) I am me.

Someone said dress for the job you want not the job you have. I want style and class.

[Cheryl T]

It took time to find Me!
At first I was like so many and all I wanted was to look "feminine" and that image came from magazines and television.
Finally I realized I didn't have to "dress to the 9's" to be feminine and settled into myself. I wear what is appealing to me, makes me feel good and look good (not necessarily Runway) and I'm content to be me and not someone who has to doll up to show off for others.

[Barbara Dugan]

Many thanks everyone for the great advice....I couldn't made it without the help from all of you:love::hugs:

[Madilyn A.]

Barb, I am so happy for you. You look fabulous enfem. You know what you have to do.

[flatlander_48]

My philosophy would be: Everything, but in moderation.



Colors, but turned down a notch
Patterns, but subdued
Heels, but not skyscrapers
Everything covered, including navels!
Minimal glitter and sequins
Minimal see-through
Nothing asymmetrical


Anyway, I think the concept would be somewhere between Nice and Not Quite Boring.

I think you should be able to go into your closet and come out with such an outfit in 60-90 seconds. Anything longer and you're thinking too much.

[Rhonda Jean]

Barbara,
In the several pics I've seen of you over the years I always thought they were all perfectly acceptable for every day. Great, in fact. I think you're concerned over nothing. It is different deciding how he's going to see you all the time rather than a dress up session where you're only dressing for the camera or the mirror. I guess you're figuring that the experimenting with different looks needs to be over, or at least winding down. I went through a phase when I dressed infrequently when I felt I had to be in a skirt or dress, the highest heels, a ton of makeup, gobs of jewelry, big boobs,and heavy makeup every time.

I'd say:

Choose a hairstyle and stick with it. One that looks easy to maintain. One that you see commonly among other women whose looks you like.
Stay modest in breast size. In your case, just go with what you've got. You're lucky that you can do that. Enjoy!
Jeans and heels, leggings, and jeggings are widely appropriate. Save the dresses for when nothing else will do.
Follow the lead of other women when it comes to makeup. Probably less than you're used to.
Keep your brows impeccably done. No substitute for professional brow services. Same goes for nails.

What an awesome time in your life! You're making a lot of us, including me, very jealous! BTW, that jeans an tank top look... What guy wouldn't want to come home to that! Pretty girl!