started therapy today

[ashleymcculloch90]

Today was my first meeting with my new psychologist. I hated explaining myself to him. But he was very nice and understanding.

He did say that he thinks I should not hide my femme side form my 3 and a half year old little girl. My wife almost killed me when I told her that.

My wife's reason for not telling my little girl is "I don't want the image of her dad to be ruined, you are her father not her mother and I don't want her to get made fun of in school because her father is a crossdresser"

My Dr.'s reason for telling my little one is because "children at that age don't have predispositions on how a person should act or look. That is instilled in them by outside prospectives. Is she is made to understand that it's ok at the young age then she won't know any different. She maybe a bit confused, but a child can be confused by not all 4 legged animals are not dogs. It could be a dog, or a cat, a cow, and so on. You just have to teach them. "

And here I am standing in the middle trying to figure out which I agree with more. As both make fair points.

Any thoughts or advice would be helpful

-Ashley <3

[kimdl93]

I'd suggest that your wife sit down with your psychologist. While I agree with him, I also think he may be more successful in influencing your wife than you can be. As to the image of father...it isn't about sideburns, authoritarian behavior or bench presses...it's about being a caring, supportive person who can be relied upon, no matter what.

[Nadya]

I agree with Kim. The therapist would likely have a better chance of explaining it well and answering follow up questions. I think I agree with the therapist but you definitely have to come to an agreement with your wife.

[Paula_Femme]

Absolutely, you BOTH need to sit down with your therapist, assuming your wife will agree to it... good luck!!! :thumbsup:

[Katey888]

I couldn't say it better than Kim has already, Ashley... top notch advice... :)

And well done you for having these difficult conversations - it's not easy to fully open up to anyone, even professional counsellors - and the difficult discussion with your wife too: this has to be hard for her, and her reaction wouldn't be unusual I think as most mothers would be wanting their child's environment to fit the stereotypical norm... I'm sure she'd benefit from some professional advice if it was appropriate for her to join you :hugs:

Good luck with all this - it's not easy being in the middle of any family issues, let alone something that is still so unusual. Just take your time and listen to the advice - you still don't have to action it immediately if you both feel it goes against what you want and feel right at the moment...

Katey x

[Marcelle]

Hi Ashley,

Another one who agrees with Kim's advice . . . see if your wife would be willing to discuss with the therapist.

Hugs

Isha

[Kate T]

Agree with Kim

We have a 14 year old, 7 year old and 4 year old. They all see dad dressed all the time, have been out with me as a family and individually.

BUT you MUST have agreement with your wife on this. The key for us was my wife was OK with it. The kids have to have to see a united front so to speak.