I'm back..kinda

[Aubrey Skye]

Hey all! Hope you guys had a great holiday season. I know it's been a few months since I've been around. Honestly, I've just been lazy, tired, depressed, and not much up for anything, even getting on here. Thank you all for the PM's while I was gone, it meant a lot. I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm doing ok. Things with my parents haven't really improved any and honestly seem to be getting worse. Many of you know the tragedy that was Leelah's suicide around the new year. It was very disheartening and hit a little close to home for me. I feel like her situation is just about the same as mine, especially the parents acceptance part. I posted an article from Pantheos about her suicide and about how people need to understand transsexuals and be more open to them. The article meant a lot to me. However, it turned into a huge fight between my family and a few friends who support me in this journey. My aunt, cousin, and mother were bickering back and forth with a lady friend from PFLAG organization in Roanoke, VA who I've been getting help from. It was getting somewhat ugly. Most of my family doesn't even know that I'm transsexual and only know "I have an issue" in which my mother has been telling them is a porn addiction....Anyway, I just wanted to check in just in case anyone has worried about me or anything. I'm still here...thankfully. I'm trying to avoid what Leelah did. It's tough. I'm just trying to push through. Hope everyone is doing well. I hope to be back on here a little more often in times to come!

[Denise69]

As Noone else has chimed in yet... glad you're here. Pushing through is a big step. Just keep on taking them, one at a time. Life is not all fun and games, but so far for me I feel that it has been worth it. Stick around awhile, if just to see what happens next!!

[chelyann]

Welcome back
Stay on here and talk about what ever is troubling you so you don't have time to think about getting g depressed.

[Cindy J Angel]

Hi Ms Skye so glad your back. I have a confession. And it has hit me hard i have been a cd for years and have just come to realize its a little more then that. I was on reddit and read Leelah post probably a week or two befour she left us to soon. I have been having sec though about me y did i not respond to her, i dont know , what i do know is i dont like to post to young girls post. It scares me, is it a under cover sting u here it all the time people getting busted. I have a nuff problems all ready. This happens to much. I have read your outher post and i hope u r doing better. I can not imagine what u r going through. My wife is the only family that knows and she dos not like it at all. I have come out to some friends and i go out all the time. And some day i hope to the woman i went to b but i wont b married. She has told me that much she went no wife. And that was just ladt night. I know we need to do something but i dont know what. The young lady down in fl is doing amazing things but she cant do it all. Maybe one day we wont have to go through this. In tell then keep your self safe and allways ask for help first . Love Cindy

[Rachel Smith]

I don't no what to say to you Aubrey as I know during my darkest times no words would have helped me. What I do know from mine is when you take such action it only hurts those that love you. Even if it's not your family there are people that love you. Being yourself is not a selfish act however taking your life is. I learned that after waking up in the ICU after 3 days and a week in the physc ward. Please don't learn it that way.

If you ever get to Roanoke and have some free time I would love to meet you and talk about things with you. If you would like that send me a PM and we can set something up.

I have been where you are now. Please stay strong. Remember this is about YOUR life no one elses and you deserve to be happy too.

Hugs
Rachel

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Hi Skye, I've been wondering about you. Glad you came back here to talk to us some more.

Which is most important to you- being yourself, or having your family's approval for being yourself?

It took me till I was mid-late 30s to get over craving my dad's acceptance, and he knew me as an apparently well socially-adjusted hetero guy with a job- still didn't get the approval. He'd have sh*t bricks if I'd come out to him as CD or anything else non-standard, and I never even tried.

I know you want your family's love and approval, but this is coming at a very high price isn't it? You're young to break away, but have you any contacts elsewhere who could give you a home and help you look for work, or study, or whatever it is you want to do?

Right now it sounds like you're butting your head against a very high wall, and seeing your mother lie about you to family is bad news- she may pretend she's protecting you, but I think she's just protecting herself from their probable judgement and disapproval.

Good luck and keep in touch- we all care about you.

Hugs, Nikki

[Kris Avery]

There are many moments now that make me wonder why I waited to deal with this until I was 45.
This post is a reminder to me of one of the reasons I did wait.
My parents would never accept any of this when I was young...or probably even now.

[LeaP]

Many of us struggle with approval issues. If it isn't parents, it's spouses or other family most often. It eases as your self-knowledge and assurance grows.

Leelah's suicide seems to have touched many. I don't know why this one versus so many others, but it touched something in me as well, despite age and stage of life differences. I hope that it doesn't result in more of us following as as a result.