Does anyone have regular Platonic Xdressing date nights or Bromances? Or want to?

[Tanya+]

I have a sweet and loving SO, she accepts my underdressing, but i don't push it, i don't want to go OTT as it doesn't turn her on. But nothing much turns her on atm anyways since out young's daughters came along. And my increasing love of Xdressing has flourished as a safely-monogamous sexual outlet for me.

What i basically wish for is a friend i can dress for and with, another cross dressing man most likely, that i can go and regularly "watch footy" with and be as girly as can be, to basically stay in a slightly bigger closet and still share the fun of it. I worry a little about the prospect of something romantic occurring, not because i fear a gay encounter but because monogamy takes commitment and restraint.

So i am wondering if what i want exists and in particular hoping that someone in southern Tasmania, gets this message in a bottle and wants to get frocked up together. Living in a small city on an island makes finding anonymity in public a bit of a challenge.

Love and Kisses, Tanya

[kimdl93]

I would advise against such an endeavor. First and foremost, you should examine the aspects of your life that have lead to the downturn in your wife's interest in intimacy. Does she work outside the home? Could it be she is exhausted by child care and home making responsibilities? In other words, are you doing your part...and maybe even trying to do a little more? Has her body image changed since the pregnancy? She may not feel as attractive after gaining that weight. And, do you focus some of your energies on showing her she is wanted, desirable? Familiarity breeds complacency. Complacency is not sexy!

[Amy Lynn3]

Post the city you live in under your profile name, and for the most part produces contacts from others, living in your general area.

This site also has a forum you can ask to meet members in your area. Hope this helps.:)

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Southern Tasmania! And I thought you were going to say Croydon. Or Copenhagen. Or California.

At least you have this Tardis-like forum dear Tanya- it is as big as you wish, and as small and intimate as you wish. Make the most of it, if you want to keep life simple. I fear that Kim's advice - as ever - is spot on.

[StephanieinSecret]

I have often had the same thought. Part of me desperately wants an outlet, someone who doesn't make me feel wierd about my hobby, but can share it.

At the same time, I know myself. Being around something so intensely stimulating, with another person who is likely feeling the same things, could be problematic. And whether I had a platonic GG friend or another CD to hang out with, that sexual tension would still be there.

I wouldn't totally rule it out for myself, but I could see how such a friendship might not be for everyone. YMMV as always.

[Adriana Moretti]

I think it really depends on the person you hang with....I have cd friends I hang with, and its fine, we do things, go out etc....its not a sex thing at all,and that wasnt the agenda It can be healthy to share this side with others. Recently however...one gal I made friends with, we both kinda developed feelings by our 3rd time hanging out. I have dated CD's before, but diddnt see this one coming....i guess you gotta treat each person different, and take it for what it is. Maybe there are some groups and events in your area you can meet people.

[Donnagirl]

There are fellow CD-ers I regularly Skype or FaceTime with... That's a very close second to actually having them there or going out... That way you can get to know them before an actual meet. I have made one really close friend who has even come to stay for a few days.

[Stephanie Julianna]

I have to think that anonymity in Tasmania is a major issue. That being said, in answer to your other question, relationships do exist where a cder can find friendship and possibly a deeper relationship. How easy they are to find is another story. I was lucky enough to have been introduced to a man by Lee Brewster of NYC Drag Scene fame. Lee introduced me to my great friend and supporter, Sam, shortly after I started to dress in public back in 1980. We were a couple on the NYC Crossdressing circuit for over 20 years and continued for a few more years after he moved to Richmond, VA. He never dressed and in some ways lived vicariously through me. It was an incredible relationship. He respected my marriage and commitment to my wife and family. More than once he made sure that I kept my dressing coraled always reminding me of what was truly important. After all, the pink fog can sometimes cloud our vision as to what is the right thing to do. He had an apartment in the city that allowed me to have all my female identity safe and secure. My wife knew about him and begrudgingly accepted my explaination about our friendship. We finally decided that he needed a more committed relationship and eventually married a trangendered woman a few years before he died from lung CA in 2010. I miss him every day. My crossdressing life has never been the same without him. I too would love to find someone again that I can share all my thoughts with about my female self. Keep looking and you might be lucky like I was.

[Genifer Teal]

You cant expect a flower to grow unless you plant a seed. Seeds grow best in the right environment. What I am suggesting is that the best way to find what you want is to make it happen and not just wait for it or hope to randomly find it. I have some GG friends I hang with regularly to watch tele (as you say in UK?). This is did sort of happen but like the overnight success singer or actress they were actually years in the making and only became known overnight. By getting out here and there I made a small circle of friends. This led to making more friends and getting invited to parties. Some of these new friends got to know me over several years of occasional hanging out with mutual friends which eventually led to being invited into their group.

Start small and think big. See where it goes.

[Seana Summer]

To me it seems far more complicated to find a CD friend than a vanilla male (or for that matter even a female) friend. I think it is partially because of how diverse we are. This seems to be demonstrated with regularity here on these very boards. Some are straight, some are gay, and some are Bi. Some want to look as much like a GG as possible and for some it is not a priority. Some dress once in a while, some every minute of every day. For some it is a sexual fetish and for some it is just an unexplainable desire. Some want to transition and some have no desire to transition even if it were free and easy. And that is just part of the CD aspect. There are some types of people I do not want to hang out with whether they are a CD or not!

While I don't have the solution, I think I understand what your saying. It is nice to have a friend or group of friends to talk with who has had similar experiences, and CDing is a significant part of many of our life experiences.

[Genifer Teal]

To me it seems far more complicated to find a CD friend than a vanilla male (or for that matter even a female) friend.

I agree and refer back to my comment about seeds growing in the right environment. You are not going to find much acceptance going to lunch with the church ladies. Find those places where diverse people are. You will have a greater chance of acceptance and meeting new friends.

[Rhian]

Personally I would love it if I found out one of my friends was a crossdresser then we could dress and go out together and both know it wouldn't be sexual. I'd be worried if I met someone who I didn't know first in guy mode that they were after more.

[DanaR]

You might explain to your wife that you need a little more dressing, than undressing. My wife used to give me time by myself, she would take the kids and go to her parents to visit. If you were to find someone to dress with, your wives greatest fear might be met, if she thinks that you might be gay; which is what my wife would have thought.

[Tanya+]

Thanks for the thoughtful responses ladies. Tonight we packed the kids off to the grandparents and had a date night. SO found her libido AND she encouraged more dressing in front of her. I was very touched. Adriana, i like the direction you are pointing me, bless you all.

[StarrOfDelite]

Tanya+, I'm not too sure about the demographics of Tasmania, despite having read the appropriate parts of The Fatal Shore, and knowing some of the lyrics to the Van Diemen's Land folk song. However, one of the great release points in areas which have fairly large CD populations is the Girls Night Out. You might want to check with any local Gay or Alternative night clubs in your area to find out about them. There is a famous one between Pittsburgh and Cleveland, and probably at least half the girls who attend are straight hetero husband types, who just want someone with whom to chat.

[Lacy PJs]

Tanya+, ...There is a famous one between Pittsburgh and Cleveland...

Curious... where is it (city) and what's the name of the place?

Lacy PJs

[nhlighthouse]

Is NH to far or can we chat about...sitting here sipping a nice rose`wine while preparing an Italian dish en femme...talk to me

[Tanya+]

Tasmania is the small island that looks like it fell out of mainland Australia's pocket, the city is Hobart Pop 100,000 but everyone is one degree of separation.

[docrobbysherry]

Tassie is a very special and beautiful place. I hope u can locate a CD community there and maybe make a good friend as I have here in SoCal, Tanya.

When I first came out of the closet online 7 years ago, I joined a CD dating site. Hoping to find a female who wanted a CDing man. I promptly got hit on by every male and CD on the site! So, when I joined here, I just figured every CD wanted to jump my bones!

Then, I went to a CD convention in Atlanta and found that most T's r straight! Just 2+ years ago I finally got in touch with a local group of dressers. And, was lucky enuff to find a special friend there! Altho there's a big difference in our ages, I'm 70, we have a lot in common. Both of us r straight, closet dressers, enjoy and discuss guy stuff, and go several steps further. We can talk about dressing, women, sex, anything. She can pass on most occasions altho I can't. So, we sometimes go out to vanilla venues, her dressed and me not. Or, to T events both dressed.

I'm very lucky to have found someone like her. I find having to keep my dressing and all it involves secret from everyone quite stressful. And, with my other T friends we rarely discuss personal issues.

[CD_Princess1234]

I must say it's nice to have a friend to talk to or go out with for an evening. I have found people in this forum to talk to and have gone out to the bars. I have to get better striking up a conversation when I'm out and get to know more people and letting them to get to know me. Still a little shy