Advice please

[snoopieee]

Sorry I would like to delete this aswell as all the comments thanks.

[Katey888]

Welcome snoopieee.... Do feel free to post a longer intro in our Intro section... :)

Interesting first post - right in at the deep end, it seems...

I sincerely hope you are also receiving or seeking professional counselling around all of these wants and wishes. You are still very young, and the procedures you are talking about here are not to be taken lightly... and it seems also that you don't identify your gender as female, but want to change your physique to be somewhere in between...? I can't say I've encountered that much...

I'd suggest some professional help before you do anything else - see your GP, they should be able to refer you to an NHS counselling service either locally, online or by telephone.

Or just try dressing up to start... It can be fulfilling too... :)

Katey x

[snoopieee]

Thank you for your message.

Yes I have been in contact with my GP and counciler, however, they said the waiting list would be over 2 year before I start treatment and I simply cannot wait that long. I have suffered enough since I was 16 and since I was 17 I hve dressed, acted and lived as the person I truely want to be.

The NHS is very slow and I really want to go private. I have the money to go private as my family are willing to fund any hormone treatment that I'll need.

I'm 21 years old now and I feel that, after doing many months of research, I'm in the prime of my life and I want to change sooner rarther than later.

[Pumped]

When you are 21 two years might seems like forever, but this is a decision that will effect the rest of your life. Two years seems like a reasonable time for me.

A lot changes in a persons mind as they leave puberty and enter into adult hood. I suggest you take the two years as a cooling off period. Make the plans, get things in motion, but take the time to wait. In two more years you might think that you were crazy to want to go through with the "change". If not, then go for it.

Also why go 1/2 way? Female with a penis? Have you thought about your intimate relationships in the future? I would think it would be very limiting and hard to find anyone that will have a serious and healthy long term relationship with you as a woman with a penis. Some guys and girls will find it interesting on the short term, but after the fascination wears off? I would think you would be more easily accepted going full transition, maybe others here will know better than I.

I have a daughter, when she was late teens and early 20's she wanted to pierce almost every part of her body and tattoo the rest, but we refused to let her as long as we were helping to support her. Now she is on her own, almost 30 years old and has a couple piercings in each ear and zero tats. When I ask her why she has not tattooed and pierced everything she said she must have been out of her mind at the time!

[Adriana Moretti]

hey girl.....I dont know too much about surgery, but this workout routine is like the HOLY Grail around here...it will start getting your body into the right shape,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8udQ-h4Y4BY

[Sandra]

However, I want to keep my male penis.
Also, any recommendations regarding to treatment and/or private clinics that offer Male to Female HRT would be extremely greatful!

Thank you.

Really you haven't done much research, had you done so you would know that taking HRT renders the penis practically useless all you will be able to do with it is go to the toilet.

This to me sounds more like fantasy than real life.

[Paula_56]

How’s your swing? If you’re a golfer you recognized this as familiar greeting between other golfers. Golf is a remarkably simple game to the casual observer; hit the ball into the hole. Not unlike being a transgendered woman which in realty is astonishingly complex and multifaceted.
For years I was a casual golfer, I’d take my clubs out of the basement dust them off, and hit the course 2 or 3 times a year. It’s no surprise my game stunk, and I was getting no better. I searched for the quick fix, new driver, new balls, a book, and maybe a couple of nights at the range. Nothing changed.
Years ago I got a new job, and made friends with a golfer in the office, we started going to an indoor range nearby and took lesson during the winter. The instructor taught me one thing that I have carried forward into many things in life. Most of golf was played in my head. It’s mental game. Especially your swing, the mechanics and the physicality of your swing has to be learned and stored in my mind and pulled out without thought or effort. It needs to become a natural part of you.

Hopefully I haven’t lost you yet, here’s where I tie the two together: It needs to be natural and instinctive just like a being woman. A few months ago in April I had a great trip to Chicago and enjoyed several days out enfemme. The last day there, I was too exhausted to spend the time getting dressed and ready, so I was outside enjoying the warm day at the Oakbrook Mall. In front the bookstore I saw the prettiest girl, I watched her with envy as she walked thru the court yard, and perched on a bench. Everything about her was feminine, fashionable, smart, and beautiful. I looked her over as another woman would, and made a mental list of all the effort, it took to look this good. The hair, makeup, matching jewelry, eyebrows, her lashes, manicure, and pedicure, shaved smoothed and tan legs, designer shoes, and purse. It all looked so natural, graceful, and effortless.
Yes effortless, just like the perfect golf swing. So I ask you? Are you pulling your clothes and makeup out of storage, like I did with my clubs and expecting magical things to happen when you dress enfemme?

My friend and I took a few lessons but continued to go to the range twice a week for a year, it became habit. On our lunch break Tuesday and Thursday we were there. If I was bored or idle somewhere I’d practiced my stance, swing and follow thru without a club. I practiced putting in the basement instead of watching TV after dinner. That September I shot 78 in a tournament. The year before I never broke 100!

I don’t golf anymore but I do present as a woman. The last 2 years have been very rewarding, and I have improved my image and have done things I have dreamed about for years. Just like the example I gave using golf, it takes effort to appear effortless. Just like that pretty girl in Oakbrook. If you look around our community online here you will notice the girls who look good, really work at it. It takes time this is a lifestyle. You need to set goals and work toward them.

I always dreamed of going out in public as a woman. When I turned 50, middle age crazy took over and I began working on it.

First I began losing weight, nothing makes you feel or look better, than being physically fit. I went from a size 26W to a 16 Misses. How you lose the weight is another issue all together.

I began buying makeup, from a very helpful sales associate at the NARS counter. Every couple weeks I’d buy another piece of cosmetic, and she would tutor me. Kasey was the first person who taught me not to be ashamed of being transgendered.
I would practice at home. Even if I wasn’t getting dressed, I would apply my makeup, getting better each time. I’d watch you tube tutorials when I couldn’t practice.

I saved up and bought a good wig. Wig stores are all TG friendly! If you don’t believe me call one, be polite and honest, tell them you are a transgendered person looking for a wig and would like to come in. I guarantee, you are not the first. Once you have the hair, learn how to style it. Ask you your wig lady for lessons. I have had several classes where she taught me how to style and comb out my wig. After the classes practice, practice, practice.

I found a gender therapist and for the first time in my life spoke openly and face to face with someone about this. Speak with any girl and she will tell you this is a big part of self acceptance. Because of this I was able to shed the guilt and shame I struggled with for years. I was also able to understand where I wanted to go with this. That’s when I set my goal, of being able to go out in public as a woman on a regular schedule.

Get a big sister; connect with another girl online or in person, even if you meet endrab as friends. Having someone like yourself to support each other is important.

Practice your voice, smart phones have recording apps. Use your feminine voice every day. I recite a memorized speech each day during my drive to work to and from. After several months my voice started to really sound natural.

Become a student of fashion, find a TG mentor, and study other women. Which one are you? Find your style and not your fantasy.

Movement is my goal for this year, walking, posture, and body language. I am hoping to find a coach or modeling school to help and then like the above practice. In the meantime, when I shop the mall at lunch, I put my body into girl mode, nobody notices, and even if they did so what??

So much of my presentation has become second nature to me now. I walk out the hotel room door, smile, at the maid; stop at the front desk, without trepidation or anxiety. This self-assurance is contagious to everyone around you, it validates your appearance to them. When I visit cosmetic counters in girl mode, I am always open about being transgendered. When you get this close to a person they can tell I am TG. The SA’s seemed to love the diversion of having a transgendered customer. We always have great conversations and I always ask them about my appearance. Most often, the words I hear are, poised, natural, and classic.

They say 90% of presentation is attitude and confidence. This takes effort and work. That confidence and attitude comes from the steps I outlined above. My point it takes effort to look effortless. This effort is all part of being a woman. Please remember to enjoy the journey, the practice, the friendships, the accomplishments and even the failures. Then when you walk thru that door dressed for a day of activities you won’t even think about your swing it will be perfect.



http://www.reddit.com/r/transtimelines

http://www.reddit.com/r/transpassing

http://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender

[Marcelle]

Hey there,

The hard cold reality is genetically, you are a man and while some workout routines can do things like give you a more full behind (squats come to mind) and high intensity workouts can decrease muscle mass or concentrating on legs/butt/abs will tone you and not bulk up your chest and arms . . . we are prisoners of our genetics. If you are an ectomorph build type (lean, small boned) you can achieve a very lilt body but is also likely that you will have little "junk in your trunk". However, with proper clothing choice you can attain a very femme figure/look. If you are an endomorph (can bulk up relatively quickly) but tend to have lean body muscle, you can shred your bulk and will most likely have "junk in your trunk" but your shoulders will be wider and your arms bigger than the average woman. Again proper clothing choice is key.

All this to say, women come in all shapes and sizes as do men. Work with what you have and train to lower bulky muscle, reduce weight (cardio and form/function training). However that will only get you halfway . . . without the use of prosthetics (breast forms), hip padding and waist cinches you will never have a truly feminine shape. But then again my one sister has narrow hips and a slighter build as do many women. So don't get too wrapped up on looking like a Victoria Secrets model . . . work with what you have.

Surgery . . . well I suppose if you really want to go that route it is possible but then again, you may be able to get breast augmentation, facial reconstruction and various other procedures to mimic the female form but in the end you are still a prisoner of your genetics. If you have a large frame (big boned) large hands . . . no procedure can correct that. A lot of TS women will have surgery but for them it is about correcting a mismatch between their gender identity and phenotype which is a necessity. If you are TS then I can see the draw. If you are CD then I think surgery is a bit extreme and I would recommend you try exercise and strategic clothing choice before going that route. Once it is done . . . it is done and while I suppose it could be reversed, the pain and suffering it will cause both physically and emotionally should you determine this was not the right choice would be very damaging.

Hugs

Isha

[Krisi]

I can't really give any advice that hasn't been given already but I have to ask why you want to "turn yourself into a girl" but keep your male penis? What will you be then? Not really a man and not really a woman. Would you date men or would you date women?

Please get professional counseling before you have any surgery. Make sure you know what you want and make sure you have a plan.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

I'd agree with Sandra, that this is about a (presumably sexual IMO) fantasy.

Having said that, if I were single, I can't think of anything more desirable than a female with a penis- but it would need to be in good working order, and Sandra also points out how that's likely to turn out.

Good luck mate- you're choosing a rocky path for yourself.

[snoopieee]

Ok well thank you for all the negative comments from some people and thank you for the supportive comments from some of you. :|

[StarrOfDelite]

hey girl.....I dont know too much about surgery, but this workout routine is like the HOLY Grail around here...it will start getting your body into the right shape,

Excellent Video. However, for those of you who want to do the bending and twisting exercises with the long bar over the shoulders, be very careful since the video is showing it wrong. Both of those exercises put a terrific amount of torque on the spinal disks, and they must be done much more slowly than show in the video. In the side bend, go slow, and hold it at the lowest point, and return slowly. For the Twist, go even more slowly, and hold. On both exercises, when you get back to the Center Point, Stop. Then reinitiate the exercise movement. Speed and momentum are an Enemy in these exercises, and can screw up your spine. This advice applies doubly to people over age 35-40.

[Helen_Highwater]

While this isn't something I've contemplated or researched I think I'm correct in saying that before you will be considered for surgery and HRT the normal expectation is that you live for at least 6 months as a woman. That will mean 24/7. There is a recent thread about someone who had procedures on the NHS and had made a successful career as a model and presenter but now is looking to "revert" back to drab as the daily routine of dressing, makeup, wearing heels etc has become too much like hard work. I'm not trying to be critical of your wishes but I would council that before embarking upon what can be extremely expensive and often painful surgery you should be totally satisfied in your own mind that this is something you can sustain for the rest of your life.

So many here are able to enjoy the best of both worlds dressing as and when. However there is another recent thread about those of us who have gone for extended periods, days, weeks or even months dressed fully 24/7 who are glad of the "escape hatch" that is going back to being in drab.

I hope you are able to reach a point where you can find a way ahead that gives you a fulfilled life. Just be patient and go slowly. You have the time.

[Sandra]

While this isn't something I've contemplated or researched I think I'm correct in saying that before you will be considered for surgery and HRT the normal expectation is that you live for at least 6 months as a woman.

No it's a year on HRT before you can be referred for second opinion. That is in the UK which is where the OP is from

EDIT

Of course this is under normal circumstances again in the UK

[Samantha_Smile]

WOOOOAAH slow down there luv.
You said a mouthfull without really telling us any background to yourself.

You sound desperate, but I think you're a little under-researched there.

I think you need to see a counselor and/or psychologist for a little while first, talk about your feelings of dysmorphia, and let someone else into your head.
Don't focus on running before you're walking - you might get hurt.