Being Seen Can Be Freeing

[Nancy Sue]

I am very new at being out, and have mostly only dressed while traveling in my car, and at night. I am alone at a hotel and I dressed in my room, then realized I needed one more thing from my car. I grabbed my purse, car keys and room key. Went to the car, got what I needed, and decided to go for a walk about the hotel, since it was 10 pm, Monday night, and few people had been about. I figured I would take a walk in the halls (but not clear up to the lobby and desk), and walk in and through the atrium garden by the pool and hot tub. I opened my room door to set down the item I had retrieved - and instead set down my car keys and room key, turned and left with the item still in my hands. I was about 15 steps down the hall when I realized what I had done. Since I always put a spare room key in my car, I hoped I had not locked it - but of course I had. I had unlocked the lanai door earlier for fresh air, but had not removed the security bar, so could not get in that way. After saying the appropriate word, I realized I would have to go to the front desk and get another key - and am in shock! No other choice. As I walked to the front desk the girl who checked me in came to the station, and I said "Don't ask for the story but I need a new key." She remembered me (which had its upside, since I did not have ID), and said "Why don't I give you two more this time." I realized as I walked away how freeing this was, and how good I felt - I am out dressed (dress, wig, forms and a nice pair of ballet slippers a girlfriend gave me), and was outed (or outed myself), and it was no big deal. I use this hotel a couple times a year, and always stay in the same room, so am surely less anonymous than many of their guests. As I left the front desk area instead of sneaking out along the fringes I walked the long way across the main lounge, past a group of men and women business people in suits talking and enjoying themselves. Half of them were facing my way, but they didn't give me a notice. I just thought I would share this with you all, since I am very satisfied with way my evening turned out.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Wow- great outcome Nancy, your heart must have been thumping!

[Claire Cook]

Nancy,

Emancipation indeed! One of our biggest fears is that someone will see us en drab and then en femme. I assume that you had checked in en drab -- guess what - the desk clerk was cool with you en femme. I've had a similar experience and all I can say is yes, it is liberating! Thanks for sharing, it's a lesson we can all learn from.

[CarlaWestin]

Yes, that certainly is a wonderful feeling. The liberated part, not the Oh $ part. The last time I traveled, I got to the point where I went to the indoor pool in heels, one piece, forms, room key and towel. It's just people I don't know that I'll never see again.

[Kate Simmons]

Sounds good Hon but personally I don't care whether I interact with people or not. I dress for myself, no one else.:)

[kimdl93]

I know the feeling. You don't know what to expect when you encounter the fron desk clerk for the first time. I used to stay at the same hotel week upon week and got to know the day and evening staff pretty well. I finally decided to let the cat out of the bag and it was a non event. From that point I got on famously with the young women at the front desk. Of course, I can't read minds, but they were kind, flattering, funny and open about their own lives. We had conversations I was unlikely to have shared otherwise.

A post script: I missed the real point of the OP to some extent. That is, the positive feelings from coming out to others...even though they are essentially strangers. Whether they be front desk clerks, waiters, or auto repairmen, its a good feeling when when is treated courteously, even warmly, by the people one meets en femme. I don't know if it should feel validating, but it does feel validating - as though the world can accept me for who I am. I have come out to a select group family, friends and business associates for the same reason, I suppose...to feel validated. I have to admit, though I dress to satisfy a personal need, I am a social creature and also have a need to be myself among other people.

[Krisi]

I think a lot of people go to hotels to do what they can't or won't do at home or in their own neighborhoods. The hotel people have seen it all and most will be nice to you so you will come again.

Glad you had a good time.

[MsVal]

That sounds like you turned a scary mistake into a wonderful experience. Congratulations!

Hotels, restaurants, resorts, etc are part of what is called the "Hospitality Industry". I would expect them to be hospitable. I don't have any expectations from the clientele, except to be civil and within the law. You got both.

Now that you've had your first positive experience, what does the future hold for Nancy Sue?

Best wishes
MsVal