How do you explain all this?

[Erika Lyne]

I am out to a few select friends. I was wondering if there is a story or comparative that anyone uses to explain any part of the how, why or what is it like for you? As an example, when I am asked how it feels I usually answer,"Have you ever woken in a hotel on a trip/vacation and for those first few stressful seconds you have to look around to figure out where you are? That is how I wake every morning. Since I usually dream in the first person-female, in those first few stressful seconds I have to figure out not 'where' I am but 'who' I am."

[giuseppina]

That happens to me too, Erika, even at home.

[Kate Simmons]

Every morning I wake up the the fact that I CHOOSE to be who I am. As far as an explanation, unless someone signs my pay check, I owe them none.:)

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Erika, Sometimes I will fall asleep at the computer or watching television and wake up with that lost look.:daydreaming:

[Marcelle]

Hi Erika,

I had to explain this part of me to a very close friend who had cut me off when I initially told him. He finally agreed to meet me to discuss it which I posted a thread about. In that thread is how I chose to tell explain the "why".

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?218836-A-truly-great-moment-in-my-life/page3

Hugs

Isha

[Maria Blackwood]

I lucked out, I guess. I came out to a friend as he came out to me. We don't even talk about it that much beyond asking if the other bought anything nice to wear lately. It's just a thing we do. No biggie.

[Jenniferathome]

Sorry Erika, but I can't identify with that feeling at all. I'm a dude when I go to bed, when I dream and when I wake up. In fact, I'm a dude when I am dressed just prettier one. To my wife, the only explanation I can offer is I was born this way. Proof of that lies in the answer to this question: who would want to be a cross dresser?

[Erika Lyne]

These all help but I wasn't asking just about anyone's dream sequences. I'm asking for methods to make it clearer for someone that you tell. The fact that most people here are apparently comfortable in who they are is true for me too but, if I try to tell a friend or clarify something to my wife, I try to find a way to relate it to their lives. I was just asking how do the other girls here explain it to their friends/families etc. I like to use stories or examples to help others relate, hence my waking feeling.

[Jorja]

I went for a walk out in the desert one night. Suddenly, an alien spaceship was hovering over me. That is the last thing I can remember. Ever since, I have had this overwhelming need to dress as a woman. Then spin on your heel and walk off. They will either believe you or be so confused at what you just told them they will start going for walks in the desert themselves.

[Angie G]

Erika I'm 66 years old I've had friend younger then I pass on so I'm happy just to wake up, As whoever I am.:hugs:
Angie

[sherib]

I wake up when I hear aol say goodbye!

[kimdl93]

I would not describe this as waking up in unfamiliar surroundings or unsure of oneself. I think a more apt analogy is to be born left handed, but to have everyone tell you that you must throw and write with your right hand.

[Jorja]

Which would be fine by me, I am ambidextrous. ;)

[Amy Fakley]

I always thought this comic sort of summed it up pretty well:

http://romanjones.deviantart.com/art/Explaining-the-Transgender-Experience-320898626

"beginning/end" I thought, was particularly correct as well.

[donnalee]

I'm still trying to explain it to myself, let alone someone else.

[Erika Lyne]

Ladies,

Thank you for the insight. I too am and probably will forever be trying to figure myself out. It isn't that I "owe" anyone an explanation. It is that I care enough to keep my dressing going and want to change some of the sigmas associated in the public with it. Looking for how others explain or define it to our friends and families may help us explain it to the people who will listen. Thanks Kimdl93, I have used the "born that way" & "left handed" analogies both seem to get bogged down in, "teach yourself to be..." attitudes. (BTW,Jorja, I am bidexterous--not quite ambi.) I've used the "Fem side" that Mikhaela suggested but that usually gets flattened with, "There are emo sensitive men, you don't need to dress to be sensitive." argument. Jennifer at Home, I have counter argued, with some people by saying, "Who would volunteer to be persecuted?" It doesn't seem to help.isha, you always have great stories and advice. I wish I were as brave as you. Amy Fakley, I think my zipper is stuck all the way up in the back of my "Stupid Dog" outfit because I can't seem to reach it.

Thanks for the insight. Keep them coming. :clap:

Hugs
-E