Question about purging?

[Natalie_393]

let me start by asking how many times have many of you purged and regret it?

About five years ago I became fond of a certain style (satin dresses,petticoats) also referred to as the sissy style and I really don't like that term it seems derogative I just like feeling pretty well dressed up, but now it feels like I was really just going through some type of phase it seemed like it was more sexual than anything I feel like I want to go back to normal look and I know what some people are thinking what do you consider normal? I would answer that question by saying I like the style that woman wear now and I would like to emulate that (Sweater-dresses,leggings,boots)

I would appreciate any type of advice what happens when you purge and start over

Thank you for those Who can shed some light on this subject for me

[justmetoo]

I lost track of the number of times. No more though.

What happens when you purge and start over? Go shopping! :)

But seriously, depending on your budget and time frame, I wouldn't try to build back up all in one fell swoop. Get some basics, maybe go to thrift stores or outlet stores, and have fun. If you want to emulate the styles that women wear now do some people watching to get ideas. Look at outfits on mannequins in the stores. And just shop around and see what strikes your fancy. And have fun.

Also, good luck and have fun! :)

[Mia27]

I have purged about 3 or 4 times... and regret it every time. It always seems like a good idea, like i am quitting crossdressing! I feel like I am in control. But a few days pass... And i miss crossdressing! I want to be Mia again.. I have finally learned to accept it:) I use to love all things fluffy and cute and feminine as possible, but as I got older, I realized I just want to be beautiful. I wanted to be a girl when I am Mia. I want to look have the full on "normal" look:) a cute and simple outfit, with nice boots:) haha. I went through a very sexual phase with crossdressing. I got turned on by it! I wont lie.. I still do:P but its different. I also get a rush of emotions, of happiness and relaxation. The more i dress up, the more it becomes me, and less of an arousal. It only gets easier:) just accept who you are. Its so difficult at times, I still battle myself.

[Michelle_G]

I won't do a full purge but I do get rid of stuff that doesn't look good on or just doesn't fit right. I would suggest keeping a couple of your favorites if you have the room. You probably have a lot of money invested in them and you may decide to go back to that style at some point. If anyone calls you a sissy ,kick their butt.

[RADER]

I purged by not by my doing, My former wife did it for me.
That was 34 years ago. I still wish I had the nice prom type dress she threw out.
It was light blue, and had 2 peti-coats with it.
I will never purge: But when I had to put aside my dressing for a few years,
I packed everything up and put them in storage. I labeled the boxes with old
Navy Uniforms on the boxes. No one wanted to look at old uniforms.
Rader

[Andrea Chenowith]

I have gotten rid of a bunch of stuff. Some of it I knew was ill-fitting, but bought anyway because I didn't have the confidence to shop in stores that I really wanted to. Other pieces I bought as part of a specific fantasy - although equally ill-fitting.

My only regret is that I didn't have the confidence back then to buy better quality and properly sized outfits. :-)

[Jorja]

Purge your male underwear if you must purge something.

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Natalie,
Purging in the past was done in haste, wanting to be rid of the weird thing I was doing. Just get rid of everything.
For the most part, it was for the best, there are a few things I wouldn't mind to still have, but the styles I had back then
would not be considered very fashionable today anyway.
Purging now would only be a one or two pieces thing, never again would I toss it all!
Much Love,
Kristyn

[DebbieL]

The first time I purged was when I moved in with my first wife. I threw away about $500 worth of corsets, lingerie, dresses, skirts, and shoes. I had hoped that once we were living together and having sex regularly, that the desire to dress would go away, and my desire to be a girl would go away. 3 weeks later I realized I had made a huge mistake. I had to rebuild my wardrobe from scratch, on a very tight budget.

When I started to transition, Lee did "What Not to Wear" make-over with me. We went through Debbie's "****-ware" and nearly everything had to go. It was hard for me to let go because so many items had fond memories associated with it. The one promise she made, that made me willing to part with so much, was that I was going to get a whole new wardrobe that I could wear to work or to restaurants, or shopping. All the 16" and 18" skirts got trashed, along with the too tight satin tops and stretchy spandex tops. They were replaced with longer skirts, well fitted dresses, appropriate blouses, and nice jackets. As a test, I had to go shopping and see if I got read. I was in shock when I realized that I wasn't read because I wasn't noticed. I had "blended" with the other women, looking nicer that a bout half, but not as good as the other half.

That second big purge was worth the pain, the loss, and the cost.

[RobynT]

There were two times that I purged. The first was when I was first starting out, and newly living on my own. I had my regrets then but not that many. The second came after being divorced for a few years, and I had built up a decent sized wardrobe. That one hurt. After two years of denial, I started building again. A little wiser with age, I've become a smarter shopper, and am making better choices in what i wear. That combined with an accepting SO who is a GW and ebay junkie, I'm well on my way. I wont do it again, I will box and store rather than fling in a dumpster all the hard work and cash involved. Whatever is out of fashion or I just don't want I will sell for whatever I can get. BTW been rocking two new sweater dresses this winter with leggings and brown suede knee boots, so you go sister....

[CD_Princess1234]

I have purged a few times and in reflection I am sad I did. It's because I was not confident in who I am verses who I was. I can't tell you how many times I did it. The outfits and money.... I am in a good placde right now. I like me and have a urge to buy new things.

[MichelleDevon]

I had one mini-purge about 20 years ago but aside from that I think I can honestly say I haven't purged. Whether that is the prudent accountant in me or whether I have just been too cowardly to do it I don't know. I sometimes wonder if I need to be a bit more ruthless throwing out stuff I don't wear - Michelle has more clothes than Stephen but only gets a small proportion of my life... :( There are a few things I bought in haste and a few more I have outgrown (mostly as a result of increasing waist size :( ) For the most part though I just keep buying more and stuffing it into drawers and wardrobes and cupboards....I LOVE Michelle's clothes - just wish I had more time to wear them all...

xxx

[Barbara Black]

As I mentioned on another thread, I purged out of frustration at not having anywhere to wear my clothes. Big big mistake. I miss my skirts so badly. :-(

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Natalie, I have never purged but I occasionally thin out my three closets and donate to thrift shops
I'm always on the lookout for new fashion items.:daydreaming:

[pamela7]

everything needs a spring clean, including the wardrobe, whether is my drab or my glam. Out with the old to in with the new, but a complete emptying, no. Recently, I've been purging the drab, and that's going to continue until there's just something left for meeting the inlaws!

[Sarah-RT]

Ive never purged anything but think about it often, the thought of bagging it all up and sneaking it down to the bin is usually enough to put me off because of the effort involved in that. I think ive gotten to the stage where I realise that purging wont solve anything and its more comforting to know as well as financially sound to just keep the stuff and have it there for when I want to dress, It doesnt tempt me, I wear it when it suits me, I think id be more tempted to buy new stuff if I purged.

[CONSUELO]

I purged once when I thought that I was in a relationship that would "cure" me. I soon learned that would not work.
My advice is to react to the urge to purge (love the rhyme) by putting the clothing in a box or suitcase, locking it up and placing the key in a safe place and the box or suitcase in the "attic". Then, when you realise that you have made a mistake you can just retrieve everything.

[Sharon B.]

Purged more then I care to say, now I just pack it away knowing the urge will come back

[JennaGirl]

Purge your male underwear if you must purge something.

Done that. Havent regretted it once.

Only time I purge its when the wife decides that she cant stand that I dress and goes looking for them. I hate having to start over but usually end up with better stuff than before.

I came to a realization long time ago that if I have the nerve to buy something in the first place, If I try it on and it doesnt fit right, it goes right back to the store. And I get the chance to tell the SA that it doesnt fit and let them guess if it for me or someone else. I never say it doesnt fit my wife.

[Sarah-RT]

I purged once when I thought that I was in a relationship that would "cure" me. I soon learned that would not work

Anytime Ive been in a relationship, in the first couple of months the urge to dress goes away but eventually comes back, im assuming that the initial excitement as well as focusing on someone other then myself preoccupies myself and as things become more relaxed and casual it has a chance to come back.

[Isabella Ross]

Thinning out a wardrobe is perfectly normal. Purging, in my view, is not...it equates to a lack of self-acceptance (or possibly a lack of acceptance from someone else in the house!). I'm not trying to be judgmental; I think it's just a fact. We should all come equipped with a built-in "purge cooling off period" circuit which would kick in for a good week whenever we get the temporarily insane urge to purge. And Natalie, regarding the purging of your sissy dresses...I think all of us need to remember that we don't have to wear normal, fashionable-by-today's-standards clothes every day. Just as my wife likes to indulge her little girl with her wardrobe periodically, I think we can all do the same once in a while, don't you think? Play fantasy with a princess dress, or maid outfit, or prom dress, or sissy dress? It's just plain fun!

[Jaymees22]

Hi Natalie, I've never purged because I'm basically cheap. I have thinned out a few things usually to make room for more. I was thinking a full purge would be akin to murder, killing off my female self. Hugs Jaymee

[~Joanne~]

let me start by asking how many times have many of you purged and regret it?

It's almost like asking how many of us have tried on a pair of heels lol The funny thing about purges is, right when the purge happens, you don't regret it, that happens when you come back to this and realize how many good things you tossed out that can't be replaced. I have purged three or four times in total. I don't really regret them but I do miss an article or two. Most was garbage.


I feel like I want to go back to normal look and I know what some people are thinking what do you consider normal?

How normal something is depends on your thoughts about it. Like, If I see a guy wearing nail polish, I think "that's odd" which means for me it's not normal but I am sure for the guy that is wearing it. it is. Normal to me is anything I chose to wear. If I wore what those around me considered normal, I'd be wearing pajama bottoms and flip flops and that would be the cure for my CDing.


I would appreciate any type of advice what happens when you purge and start over

Your wallet becomes a lot lighter and your bank account screams out in pain. lol

[Tracy Hazel Lee]

I don't like to waste money, and to me, purging is exactly that.... I have donated many items, (that didn't fit right, or didn't like anymore), but I have never purged. I still have the first dress I ever dressed in... I haven't worn it in years (pretty sure it still fits), but I can't throw it away. No way. That was my gateway dress. :) :)

[monalisa]

Sexy dresses and petticoats are hard to replace. I would put in storage what you aren't currently wearing. At some point you will want to wear it again and will still have it. I thin out but never a full purge. Nice if you could find another girl and do some clothes trading.

[Cheryl T]

How many times did I purge and regret it? EVERY TIME !!
I still wish I had some of the wonderful items I tossed away in a moment of guilt and shame.
That will not ever happen again. Since I came out to my wife the only things that get thrown away are those that are worn out or that I don't want any longer and I donate them if they are in good shape.

I thought a purge would cleanse me of this and as is the definition of insanity I repeated this process over and over expecting a different result. Never happened. This is me and wasting money by throwing away clothing I love to wear is the crazy part.

[anna kate]

I have never purged. Have a niece,(my shopping buddy) that has the same tastes in clothing. She takes all my unwanteds and cycles them into or through her wardrobe. Finds a home for the items she doesn't want.
Wife and I were away last weekend, niece and her husband had a dinner dance occasion to go to, she (niece) didn't have shoes to go with what she wanted to wear. Came down to my house and "borrowed" a pair of boots (2 1/2" heel) from me. Told me when we came home, that she had them and would bring them down the next... Told her to keep them, but we had to go shopping to replace them. I'm now the proud owner of a new pair of boots. So, as I said, I don't purge, but my niece keeps my wardrobe circulating. For me it's fun, I really love shopping.

[ophelia]

I regret purging the embarassing to buy retail things like bras, foundation garments, breast forms.

[MelissaLipstick]

I have also purged, and I promised myself that I would never dress again. Of course, now I regret purging some cute dresses, bras and heels!

[melaknee]

5 years ago i purged everything several wigs two sets of breasts and a ton of clothes. some of it bought at a boutique near la where i got a makeover and went out several times,my girlfriend was moving in and i thought i would stop, i was afraid, i should have kept my stuff. i 'm gonna be replacing breastforms soon.so i'll be looking for a thread about that... all that money... this time i'm trying to get her involved, seems easiest after we've had a few.

[Lauri K]

I agree with Jorja, purge all your male garments first if you get the urge to purge, as they can be more easily replaced............LOL

[helenejo]

totally agree with this...the amount of lovely things I have thrown away....an ivory silk bendel blouse comes to mind...if only I had packed away my things as the urge always comes back
Sexy dresses and petticoats are hard to replace. I would put in storage what you aren't currently wearing. At some point you will want to wear it again and will still have it. I thin out but never a full purge. Nice if you could find another girl and do some clothes trading.

[Ellen2d]

Today as I'm going through things purging for an upcoming move, mostly of guy things I don't wear anymore. I'm donating along with my wife to a local thrift store. The only thing of Ellen's that I donated was a coat that I haven't worn in 20 years. Nice coat, I just don't see Ellen going anywhere that it's needed.

[SHINY-J]

I purged one time only... Lesson learned... It was around 1999 and I threw out EVERYTHING. Easily over 5 grand in shoes and clothes. I was moving in with my g/f at the time and didn't have any where to stash everything. It was my first purge, and I foolishly thought I could just throw it out and it would disappear... I regret that constantly... So many great costumes, panties, bras, wigs, thigh high hose, garter belts, opera gloves, swimsuits, cat suits, skirts, dresses, teddies, boots, heels, etc I that I will never be able to find again! I gathered all of those clothes in the late 90's when my favorite shiny fabrics like satin, latex, vinyl, we're all the rage and the wild and outrageous 90s trashy lingerie styles were in. I have looked all over trying to find them on eBay and I have had ZERO luck finding anything as the styles have gotten kind of "blah" for my taste... After looking online for a LONG time, I have managed to locate some places that sell the style of clothing in the fabrics I like and the sizes I need. Still, I lost way too much that can't be replaced. Never again.

Expensive lesson learned!

[Adriana Moretti]

I purged like 3 or 4 times........and here i am.....trying not to make it a 5th.......

[pernille d]

Like you all i have purged a few times and yes we all know its no good as we Will come back to miss the clothing we all love . The first purgemi was 15/16 and i brunt my stuff trying to Think it would cure me nope. Did not help
Then over the years i have purged a few major times for different reasons. And i agree its a good excuse to start again but some tresseres Can not be replaced . I only Think the last 2 times i have been unlucky as both times i have have Thorsen my clothing in Remote roadside Rubbish bins and the first time i returned the morning after to see as i arrived the man emptying the bin :-( . , the second only a few days ago i had a brakedown so throw 80% of my wardrobe out In a roadside bin , only a few hours later to Think " how stupid " as i know i Will come to miss my wardrobe , and surprise surprise. It was gone again , so both times unlucky as where i live your lucky if they empty the bins 2 times a week . But alas it sure gives me a Dam good chance to go shopping for some newer styles , ( its just the shoes i have problems replacing ) We never learn , and i bet i do it again so maybe its healthy but its also sad to Think of the fthings that cant cant be replaced and the stories that acompany each Price of clothing

[natalialimapoa]

I crossdress a lot since 7 years old and, curiously, I never purged. I just stoped wearing my stuff for some time, but I never freaked out about it. I just hide and take care of my heels, makeup and all.

[Ms.Kenadie]

Every time that I have purged, I have come to regret it. Then having to start all over again is a tedious task. This time though, I have decided no more. If I get in a place where I feel that I must quit and not do this anymore, then I can just wash everything, and pack it away. One thing that I have learned from all of my times purging is that I always come back to dressing.

[AccidentalDresser]

Perhaps I have not been CD long enough to get the urge to purge and I hope I never do.
It's a topic I have read a little about because I didn't understand how you could throw out a big part of yourself like that.
From my research I can only find four main reasons people seem to purge.
1) Guilt of being a CD and the purge is like a smoker throwing away a full pack of cigarettes and saying I quit in the morning but buying a new pack at lunch time.
2) End of a Fetish
Moving forward to more natural woman type style of clothing from the whole baby to 6yo girl look and the purge is like putting their CD childhood or submission phase behind them.
3) Weight loss or gain also featured a lot in people's purging rituals. They either threw away their fatter selves or threw away reminders of their more slender selves
4) My wife caught me so I am purging to prove a point. This purge seems to work the least from all I have read and is strongly entwined with No. 1 or Guilt Purge

It's an interesting phenomenon though.