Not allowed to try on

[susan54]

I was in Stirling, Scotland a few days ago. The first shop I spotted was Signature, a boutique with a closing down sale. I found beautiful dresses around £30-40 each, a huge reduction on the original price. The owner noticed I had a handful and offered to put them in a changing room for me (I was dressed as a man). The shop was small, busy and had two curtain-lined changing rooms, separated from each other by a good curtain (with no gaps). At no point when I was buying or trying on was I made to feel uncomfortable, even by the fairly elderly lady customers. I asked her how she had known they were for me and she said she had simply been freeing my hands to select more clothes. The way I was treated was all you could hope for and I spent £180. It would have been more if some of the dresses had not been too tight.

Then I went across the road to a shop with no name on it. There were some beautifully cut dresses in navy and black at £99 each and I selected a couple to try on and was firmly but politely refused. This is the first time this has happened to me in years. The really puzzling thing about this is that the shop also seemed to sell menswear so they presumably had changing facilities for men anyway. Interestingly, I was the only customer in the shop the whole time I was there.

I went on shopping and tried on clothes in several other shops in Stirling with no problem. I realise that some of our American friends find it unusual when a shop is helpful, but helpful is normal here. Shame, these dresses really were rather elegant. I could go back dressed as a woman but I don't see why this sort of behaviour should be encouraged by buying from them.

In fact later in the week I went to one of my favourite boutiques in a Scottish village not too far from Stirling (OK, they know I spend money!) again dressed as a man. It was after 5pm and they opened up their sale shop next door (which had already closed) specially for me and were absolutely lovely throughout. They even told me what clothes from the main shop would be in the sale shop next month - how often does ANY shop disclose that sort of information to anyone? And this time I spent £140 - I do not usually escape from there with such a low bill. Niceness pays.

I shop rather more than is healthy, and it must be over ten years since any shop anywhere refused to let me try something on.

[Sara Jessica]

You should have shown them your receipt from Signature and walked out the door.

Basesd on my experience here in the USA, I have an expectation of service if I need it. I have my own personal rules that I adhere to though, mostly because I can buy off the rack and eyeball the size knowing that 8 times out of 10 I'll have a good fit. I tend not to try on in guy mode in general unless it is a boutique that knows me well. I have made an exception here and there but it is very rare that I do so. My other rule when shopping in guy mode is to be mindful of the other customers, or lack thereof. This has nothing to do with me, or even them. Instead, it has to do with the owner of the boutiques I shop at, that I wouldn't want their customers to perceive anything that might cost the owner business. I can interact with an owner to the point where they understand my POV but I cannot impact the perception of other customers in the same way and you know what they say...perception is reality.

In girl mode, all bets are off. I do what I wish because I expect that my presentation would disarm the Muggles so they get instant insight as to where I'm coming from.

[Jodi]

Here in the USA when I shop as a guy, I expect good service and the right to try on. Very rarely am I refused, but it does happen. When it does happen, I just smile and walk out. They missed the sale. One that comes to mind was an Arden B store. They had nice things, but I was refused the right to try on. The store was not busy and the SA was young. The next time I went to that mall about a month later, the Arden store was gone. Is there a correlation? I don't know.

When shopping as a guy, I always try to shop during the week, just when the stores are opening. I am also respectful of other customer's opinions. I would not want to cause a store manager grief.

Generally, I find store staff to be very receptive and helpful. Of course, I always tell them The clothes are for me.

Jodi

[mechamoose]

“They’re not women’s clothes. They’re my clothes. I bought them.” -- Eddie Izzard

Don't take that . It is fracking FABRIC.

/smoochies

<3

- MM

[Annaliese]

Your story reminds me of movie Pretty Woman

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Susan,
This past weekend I took my first steps into a store while dressed on my own.
I was in the store less than 2 minuets before an SA walked over to see if I needed help, I told no thank you, I'm OK.
She replied, well should you need anything my name is Carol. I just smiled at her and said thanks so much and went about browsing.
So, I hoe you realize, not every shop in the US is disrespectful to the clientele.

Now go back and try on those dresses!
Much Love,
Kristyn

[AccidentalDresser]

I was the only customer in the shop the whole time I was there.

Well no surprise really considering the stunning customer service in said store of no name.
Wouldn't be surprised if everything is on sale there next week.
And the shop is closed down the week after that.

I've not tried anything on in store myself as yet but I am starting to think I would like to. Just so I can compare the Australian customer service experience and for the thrill of it

[Vicky_Scot]

That's because people in Scotland apart from the very few are so friendly and welcoming but I am a bit bias as I am from there.....................lol

[Robbin_Sinclair]

The only thing that I know about Stirling is a record shop that I was in when visiting. There some sweet little girl introduced me to a Peatbog Faeries CD. I've been hooked on bagpipe fusion ever since.

Sorry about your experience. Don't take a resentment. It's not worth it.

:hugs:

[Beverley Sims]

I findthat if I get a refusal I don't dwell on it and just move on.
I have rarely been refused, when it has happened I have just moved on.

[SometimesJen]

I've not been allowed to try something on only once, and that was at a Wal-Mart here in the central US.

I went to the ladies dressing room (in drab) with a couple blouses and a couple pairs of jeans. The SA told me "sorry, I don't have time." I inquired about the men's fitting room and was told again "I don't have time." She turned and went back to talking to 3 other SA's... for the next 20 min, meanwhile allowing several women into the ladies dressing room.

Before I left I had a polite chat with a manager about the incident. He thanked me for talking with him and I left. The next time I was in that store I learned that SA no longer worked there and the 3 or 4 others I spoke with were all extremely friendly and helpful, including 1 who the original SA had been talking with. Sometimes it helps to just have a chat with someone in charge and let them know what kind of service their customers are receiving.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

A shop with no name? I call that suspicious. Could be a front for a CIA black-ops unit. Had you considered that?

[susan54]

Ha. Not CIA. A friend was of the opinion that the expensive clothes shops in Bruntsfield, Edinburgh, were a front for money laundering, because no one ever went in there. She was wrong. I did. And I spent money. I don't resent the shop in Stirling. Without exception all of the few shops in my lifetime that have refused to let me try things on over the years have closed. Clearly they have wider customer relations issues.

Using Google street map I found out that my anonymous shop in Stirling was called STONS and that a shop of that name is still trading from that address. And it does sell menswear too. So possibly they just object to men trying on womenswear at all, even if they use an existing male fitting room. This would be the most unusual reaction ever except for a very, very odd woman in a shop called Sam Thomas in Perth (quite near Stirling). When she saw the clothes in my hand, she said they would look gorgeous on me, but she was obviously joking. When I said I had been hoping that, she assumed I was joking and when I made it clear I was not she became abusive. That chain went into liquidation a few months later (it was quite a long time ago).

[Veronica S]

My wife and I went to our local Reitman's women's clothing store last week, and went to different parts of the store after we arrived. She walked to the petite section, and I went to the regular size. While we were each checking things out, she made some selections and an SA put them into a change room. I had picked out a few items, and was near two SA's that were stocking displays. They must have thought I was alone as the younger one comes over and says 'Can I take those and start a room for you?' I said OK, and gave them to her. She takes the items, stops and says 'Do you want to take another one of these blouses, I'm not sure this is the right size for you?' I said, no, I think it's ok, and by the way I think my wife already has a room, so just put them in her room, we'll use the room together. She said 'OK', and walked away.

I continue shopping and walk past the older SA, and she says, in a casual way 'We get a fair number of guys in here shopping alone.' So I asked if they always helped them out. She said 'For sure', and that she had sold a complete skirt suit to a man the day before, and had made sure that he got all the right sizes, and that it was a good fit. She said 'A sales a sale, and we don't worry who our customers are.'

Point being that I bought a sweater dress, a skirt, two tops, and a pair of skinny ankle length pants, plus my wife's selections, that we never would have purchased had they not been willing to assist me.

Really, is it that hard for retailers to figure this out. This store does it right.