What to do. Have supporting wife

[OneJolene]

Hello everyone. I don't post much always stop by the forum everyday.

Well I am a lucky one with a very supporting wife who's loves me very much and supports my cding. She is ok for me to wear what I want in the house and underdress anytime. But Why is it I feel un comfertable sometimes. I am thinking about starting under dressing all the time, and wearing things on a regular bases to really help me even more comfertable .What does everyone think.

[mykell]

im thinking why are you asking us, if thats what you want to do and are comfortable and your wife has no issues their is your answer.......
if it makes you uncomfortable then dont underdress....

[deebra]

You are uncomfortable because as your wife's husband you presented as a male in men's clothing, to now dress in women's feminine lingerie, skirts, dresses, etc. gives the feeling of being unmanly and deception/lying to her. Get over it. You have a wonderful open minded wife that loves and accepts something you were born with and she understands, so believe this. Keep dressing and start shopping together and enjoying those wonderful female clothing, so much smarter than men's. The more you wear them the more guiltless you will feel. By the way, buy her a special little gift to let her know how much her acceptance means to you.

[OneJolene]

I'm sorry maybe I'm asking the wrong question. Do you think I will become more comfertable with my love of dressing if I do it on a regular basis.

[ClosetED]

IMHO, you will become more comfortable with whatever level of dressing makes you happy when you realize it is not harming anyone and stop feeling guilty about doing it. We enjoy doing this for whatever reason, and studies show it is not likely to ever fully go away. You have a supportive wife, so you are not hurting her unless you are trying to deceive her in some way. Society is not being harmed. Underdressing poses a minimal risk of exposure, but as you can read here, even when found out, almost no one cares. Or are you asking if you will want to do more things, make your presentation more feminine, if you do underdressing more often? There was a nice graph of pink fog, showing most will explode up and then come down to a stable point. Your best method might be to involve your wife to explore at her pace to dampen any over reactions in herself or you.
Hugs, Ellen

[StephiSpring]

I think you are very fortunate to have an understanding wife. I agree with the other comments about doing what YOU feel most comfortable doing. Usually, the more you do something, the more comfortable you are doing it. Dare I suggest that you clean out your underwear drawer of all your manly clothes. That only leaves the feminine under clothes for you to wear.

[Natasha V]

You will really get comfortable after sometime, just enjoy and don't think too much about it or it will evolve into an uncontrollable thing. Called pink fog to the 10 power. Everyone is right about keeping your spouse in the loop when buying or trying something new ask for her opinion on stuff. Make her feel special. Thanks

[Nikkilovesdresses]

"But Why is it I feel un comfertable sometimes."

Can you say more about why you feel uncomfortable? You're not really telling us much! If your wife is ok with it, why aren't you?

xNikki

[MissTee]

I find that having support allows you to explore what you really need out of dressing -- whatever that may be. If your wife is supportive I would recommend that you discuss your feeling with her. Bet she could help.

[Erika Lyne]

OneJolene,
I know exacly how you feel. I had the same exact emotions when I first realized what all these emotions were I was feeling when I was so much less experienced at CDing. I first started dressing in total fem when I was in my early teens, now 42. I have to say, having a supportive wife is a huge asseet. My wife is here on the site too. We are still learning how to handle my CDing. She is incredibly supportive; she buys me fem gifts,allows me to dress at home almost whenever I wish, helps me cope I general with the emotions that come with it. I underdress 100% of the time, 50% of the way. (Panties 100% of the time, bras--not as much.) It is the only female item that i can wear to bed for a romantic interlude. She still has a bit of reservations in bed but she says she is,"ok." If your wife does truly accept it then you are really lucky. If she is just saying so because she loves you but is truly uncomfortable, you will have problems later.

This will not go away, the more you do it the more comfortable you wull be with yourself, the more you do it the less guilt you wil feel. Just PLEASE-PLEASE-PLEASE remeber to honor your wife. She has commited to you and this is now a burden for her too. She has to keep the secret as to the extent that you two agree to. Buying her gifts when you get something feminine does go a long way. Just remeber to keep her in the loop, in the conversation and it will help to keep you two in your marriage. She may set limits that seem unreasonable but they are limits. They may change as you both grow more comfortable with CDing.

Best of luck.

Hugs.
-E

[docrobbysherry]

Sounds like you're suffering from guilt. I won't try to guess what kind or from what. Most girls in your situation, (if your SO is TRULY supportive), would PARTY!:devil:

Underdressing seems to me for those that r afraid or not allowed to dress freely. If your conflict continues? I suggest a quick visit to a knowledgable therapist!

[suchacutie]

IMHO, you will only get comfortable when you are sure your wife is on the same immediate page. When I have any issues I bring them up to my incredibly supportive wife to get her take on them. She is a weathervane without peer, and I imagine your wife is, as well.

Talk with her and you will then be completely secure!

:)

[cdterri]

You are not alone. I have been dressing in frt of my very accepting wife for more yrs than I can remember. However once in awhile I'll see my reflection in a mirror and wonder "why the hell am I doing this" She married a man not guy in a dress, so I change and at times will not dress in frt of her for wks. She usually gets the ball rolling again by insisting I'm being an a--h--- and demanding I dress.

[Natasha V]

CD Terri, That's funny you say that because the exact same thing happens to me. When I get moody or bad attitude she will demand for me to dress for her and let her girl out of the closet to enjoy a nice girlie evening. She always asks me how I'm feeling. I love her so much 20+ yrs married.

[kimdl93]

Obviously, you need to explore why you feel uncomfortable with yourself. Most likely you still haven't quite accepted yourself and carry baggage that remains from earlier, less informed times.

[Suzanne F]

It is a process. Everyone goes at different pace. I quickly went from newly underdressing to going out. My wife is supportive but there have been issues along the way. I am living as a woman 75% of the time and will transition fully. This happened in just 2 years. Don't force anything just enjoy the excitement of doing new things. It will work out especially since you have a supportive loving wife!
Suzanne

[Tracii G]

You need to accept who you are first and learn to get rid of the guilt.

[MsVal]

Relax, and enjoy the ride. You may get to a point where you will feel as though you've gone a wee bit too far. You'll back up a bit and find your comfortable place.

Best wishes
MsVal