Is CD something sexual to you?

[natalialimapoa]

Hey everyone!

I am in a weird stage of my life right now. I started cding with 7 years old (24 now), and I have been crossdressing a lot all my life, until some months ago. I stopped for about 6 months right now, and I dont know exacly why. I had thoughts about transitioning, going out, and everything. But suddenly, all of this disappeared, and I started living my life in boy mode.

In the last month I was thinking about this, and I realized that a lot of my crossdressing is related with sexual things. I never accepted it, but I dont have to lie to me anymore. Crossdressing is sexually exciting to me, so it makes me think that, maybe, it is more something like a fetish, than a gender/mind/spiritual thing. Its kinda sad to me to realize this, since I always took it really serious (despite being something fun to me), and thinking this way, it seems like im just some weird guy that feels excited when I dress.

So, my question is: Is CD something sexual to you? How do you feel about this aspect of your cding?

Ps: Sorry for the bad english, I tried my best to explain how I feel.

[~Joanne~]

It started out that way but now it has become something more, like my comfort zone, if that makes sense. I dress more or less just to relax, be more comfortable, and to express myself I guess you could say. Now if the SO wants to make it sexual, I am so down for that lol

[Lori Kurtz]

For my decades of dressing up, it was always a sexual thing for me--I started younger than you did, and it was sexual even before I understood what sex was. I no longer dress up, because now that I'm well into my 60s, I can't be that outrageously sexy girl whom I found so thrilling. But even though I don't dress anymore, my crossdressing history remains an active part of my fantasy life, and I enjoy the memories. "Fetish" is a pretty accurate word to describe what it meant to me, and I am at peace with saying that about myself.

You're right, you don't have to lie to yourself. And you don't have to judge yourself negatively either, regardless of what crossdressing means to you. Whatever pleasures you find in life, as long as they don't hurt other people or have a negative effect on the things you decide are important to you, why not just enjoy them?

[Mink]

I feel like so many on here just love stating how it's not sexual for them (NOW!) ... but they often say it did indeed start sexual or got sexual ... and I think that tells a LOT!

find me a CDer for whom it was NEVER sexual... and I shall make thee a golden god!


also I feel like not many say that it's BOTH

in private for me it can be sexual (or not)

and in public my mind / body knows it's just me wearing girly undies or a damn dress and i'm not walking around in public all excited! (well... not in THAT way! haha)

[melaknee]

it feels good sexually sometimes, it's nice to just hang out,and it's interesting ,excitng, mysterious, dangerous and other stuff too for me

[JessMe]

At the time when I started dressing, I had no concept of sex or sexuality. It was (and is) something that I'm just compelled to do. I feel happier and more content when I am able to dress and express myself in a "feminine" manner. I have always been gender-confused, at the very least, and transgendered, to some degree that I still haven't sorted out.
I'm an adult now, and for better or worse, things have been happening "down there" and (most importantly in the realm of sex) in my mind, for many years now.
I like sexual activities in my relationships, but I always picture it differently than it is (and wish a little that it would be). I treat sex in my "dressing" the same way I treat it in my relationship... it's the icing, not the cake. Sure it happens, in various states of "masculine" and "feminine" roles, but I don't dress strictly (or even mostly) for sexual pleasure.

[carahawkwind]

It has both sexual and non-sexual elements for me. There are lot of reasons I enjoy it and want to do it, sometimes the reasons seem to change every other day. Certain parts of my dress up outfits are most stimulating for than others, corset, stockings, heels are still a turn on, even if I'm focused less on them now than trying put forth a fully formed image, which is less sexual.

[Lily Catherine]

I'd be lying if I said it wasn't part of the appeal; that goes especially for overly and overtly feminine garments like dresses, skirts, strapless tops etc. Then again I also wear women's jeans / "boyfriend jeans" in drab as well for their better fit (YMMV) and my feet are too small for most men's running shoes, and I don't connect them to anything remotely sexual in any way.

[Victoria Demeanor]

For me I was quite the opposite. It was when I discovered that it was an emotional feeling and not a sexual faddish that I was able to embraces it. In my past when I put on a bra, a dress, or lacy panties, I thought it was something kinky. My dilemma was I couldn’t get excited in that way, but would rather just look at myself in the mirror and wonder.
What I am finding now is more of a soulful release of a pent up personality. Feelings and emotions that my drab side (Jim) would never allow to show or even deal with, can be unconfined and embraced by me as Victoria. I do like looking sexy and when I’ve been in my car I’ve wondered if the car guy next to me at the stop light is checking me out. Of all the things CDing is to me, Sex doesn’t really seem to be one of them. Hopefully my rambling made some sort of sense.

[franlee]

I could write pages on this subject and still not cover all the sensations I have felt while dressing over the last 45 years. It is quite simple though, Yes it is sexual was and always will be. Even though a lot of what the others are saying is true too. I have found that stress relief, therapeutic, life enriching stimuli along with contentment derived from my dressing. But with out the sexual overtone or in some cases under currents it wouldn't be interesting and I never would have started either. Dressing and the appearance of who or in some cases what you are always reflects a sexuality at some level, just the desire to project as a Female persona and feeling you have accomplished it is a form of sexual gratification, even though not of the orgasmic level it is stimulation that motivates us on what ever our personal needs are. And should I ever lose that sexual stimulation I strive for then there would be no desire to CD anymore and I'd quit. But as long as I can do a little dressing and/or have my imagination to dream and fantasize I will continue!

[MissTee]

Not entirely sexual. Only slightly sexual to be honest. Dressing for me brings about a peace, a comfort I can not duplicate any other way. Not sure how to further explain that.

[Maria Blackwood]

I feel like so many on here just love stating how it's not sexual for them (NOW!) ... but they often say it did indeed start sexual or got sexual ... and I think that tells a LOT!

find me a CDer for whom it was NEVER sexual... and I shall make thee a golden god!

Can you make me a golden goddess instead?:D

Actually, mine started out as simple curiosity, but with heavily sexual reactions and responses as a result, so no divinity for me.

[Laura28]

When I was young it was but looking back maybe that is how I justify ed it back then it isn't anymore and hasn't been for many many years

[MsVal]

Nope, not now, not ever.
Embracing my femininity provides a soothing, normal kind of feeling that is not sexual.
There were some fantasies, but they were not related to the clothing.

Best wishes
MsVal

[Isabella Ross]

I agree with the first response by Joanne. Started that way in my teens, and still continues to be somewhat sexual sometimes...but far less so now, as it's more about feeling whole and fulfilled.

[victoria76]

Yes and no, mostly yes! :)

[Nadine Spirit]

Being gender non-conforming is something that has been with me my entire life. At some point actually cross dressing began in my twenties and was connected with sexuality, but then again at that time in my life there wasn't much that wasn't connected with sexuality. And now in my forties cross dressing and gender non-conforming is all just part of who I am. I have come to realize that it is no more connected to my sexuality than any other thing in my life.

You know what I never question; "is my sexuality connected to my wife?" I never question it because without a doubt the idea of sex with my wife is always of interest to me. No matter what, when, why, where, or whatever! Sex while dressed? Yeah, not so much.

[UNDERDRESSER]

Yes, at first, even though I didn't know what sex was. Much more so during teens and twenties. It is quite interesting now to look back and see where it became not quite so sexual, and started being sensual, and changing more recently to something else. I find it hard to describe what that is, I have this feeling that I want to be a slightly different person. Not female, and not, by my definitions feminine. Most others would call it that I think. There is still a sexual thrill attached to it, somewhat, much, much, less that it was, part of that is this "other" personality I want to let out. Men aren't "supposed" to be that way, so that's where it would be considered feminine. Still confusing to me.

[SHINY-J]

I think cross dressing can mean so many things to someone... It's too hard to categorize. Scratch that.. It's IMPOSSIBLE to categorize.

Regarding what the OP asked, my dressing has ALWAYS been sexual. From when I wore my first pair of panties when I was around 8, all the way up to now... Obviously, I didn't really understand or realize what I was feeling when I was 8 years old, but I knew the sensation of how the satin felt against my skin and loved the shine of the satin fabric. Not trying to offend anyone on the board, but the first erection I remember was when I was wearing a pair of satin tap panties I sneaked out of my aunts dresser. When I first found my fathers stash of playboys in the attic, I remember only taking the issues where the women where wearing shiny clothes made of satin or leather and high heels or high heeled boots. Even when I started buying my own clothes, everything has to be shiny fabric or it hold absolutely no attraction to me.

I also have my I have my ups and downs too. There are days.. weeks.. Months... Where it seems I dress nonstop and I buy tons of lingerie, shoes, costumes, wigs, etc. I can think of several times where I've spent over 5000 in a single month. And it's not like I buy designer clothes... All of my clothes are just lingerie and costumes and the shoes are all stripper shoes. It's all thigh high boots and platform heels. The average price of each item is probably around 30 dollars. That's just me going insane with th the credit card!

Then, there are times when I go days at time without dressing at all... I live completely as a "guys guy" and don't even think about it. That doesn't happen very often though... Once again, before typing this, Im not trying to offend anyone, or break the rules of the board - but just to explain, so please don't think I'm trying to be crass or rude. Every time I masturbate, I am completely dressed. It drives me crazy trying to figure it out. When I'm done, I undress and it's back to "guy stuff". I don't mean that I'm rebuilding the engine of Corvette and big game hunting... I just mean that I live my life as a guy comfortably. I never feel any sort of identity issue at all until I'm aroused and then I have to dress. Once urges are satisfied, I revert right back.

This, however, is where my biggest problem has evolved... Any time I'm having sex with a girl, I have constant thoughts and desires to dress and it causes anxiety and has also caused impotence on many occasions. It's like I NEED to dress or the sex isn't satisfying enough.

At any rate, the crossdressing/sexual tie has always been there for me. It's times like this where im really thinking about it and trying to verbalize and type it out when I feel most alone.. It seems like I fit into a niche that nobody else fits into or understands.

[Adriana Moretti]

when i first got into this, i felt it was some sort of sexual connection......these days not so much...its not sexual at all.....i kinda grew outta that....but i think alot of gals start out that way.....for some they stay there cause they only dress occasionally FOR a sexual thrill in the closet....others who continue forward move past that phase of it being just sexual and it becomes a part of you.......im sure everyones different ..but that makes sense to me

[Lynn Marie]

Not any more.

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Natalia,
Like many here I think it started out as a sexual thing.
My interest at age 7 towards girls clothes was just me noticing there was
A difference between boys and girls, and what was the most apparent difference? The clothes!
Now I know there is a much bigger difference between boys and girls underneath the clothes.
That made a huge change to any sexual attraction I had towards girls.
However, my attraction to the clothes seems to have become something else that I can't explain.
Much Love
Kristyn

[Ineke Vashon]

Hey everyone!
In the last month I was thinking about this, and I realized that a lot of my crossdressing is related with sexual things. I never accepted it, but I dont have to lie to me anymore. Crossdressing is sexually exciting to me, so it makes me think that, maybe, it is more something like a fetish, than a gender/mind/spiritual thing. Its kinda sad to me to realize this, since I always took it really serious (despite being something fun to me), and thinking this way, it seems like im just some weird guy that feels excited when I dress.

Ps: Sorry for the bad english, I tried my best to explain how I feel.

CD-ing can go many different ways. It' perfectly ok to explore it as a fetish. You're not some weird guy. Like the rest of us here, you have an interesting "hobby" and likely a desire to express your feminine side, which includes feeling sexual. May as well relax and go with the flow and enjoy in whatever form it comes. I started at 16 and it was wildly exciting. Then sometimes nothing for a few years and it start up again. I am now a senior, and wearing soft feminine garments is still sensually stimulating.

Ps: There is nothing wrong with your English. You express yourself very well.

Bom dia,

Ineke

[AngelaYVR]

When I started at age 5, I didn't know why I liked it so much. In my teens it was completely sexual. These days it excites me on another level, it is fun and fulfilling and satisfies some other section of the brain which shares only the most tenuous connections with those that propelled the investigations of my youth.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Hi Natalia, please don't apologize- your English is excellent.

If you started at 7 I have difficulty imagining that was a sexual urge. At 12 or 13 sure, but 7 is barely more than infancy.

I also suspect that there is more to your on/off desire to crossdress than just sex, but perhaps because you find it a turn on, it feels like a purely sexual thing?

It's also true that the desire can switch on and off without our knowing why- for me at 53, after 40 years of occasional experimentation, it suddenly came right to the front of my life like a bright light. With it came the desire/ability to lose weight, and 6 months later that is still the case. I don't know why!!! Sometimes I think a subconscious alarm clock just starts ringing, an alarm programmed so long ago that we just don't remember or understand why.

For me, no, it is not a sexual thing- though when I was much younger it certainly was.

It's pretty much a mystery for many of us - welcome to the club.

xxNikki

[mbmeen12]

I had no concept of sex or sexuality. It was (and is) something that I'm just compelled to do.

Well spoken, it was at a yearly age when I was drawn into the difference but intersected with puberty.

[AccidentalDresser]

At first it started as a curiosity then quickly became sexual but then became a part of life.
Now it's more a comfort thing. I dress to feel centred and balanced. When dressed I feel comfortable in my own skin so to speak and held in all the right places. I also prefer the Fem me in the mirror to the Male me. The Fem me actually seems to smile back at me wheras the other guy always turns to walk away once he has seen me

[StephiSpring]

I agree with the others, it started that way, and that continues, but to a lesser extent. Now it is more comfort than stimulation. But, I do enjoy the stimulation too.

[juliecd1]

You are correct, It was a compelling desire that started before puberty around 9 or so to wear my sisters clothes

[Tanya+]

I think this is a beautiful question Natalia. Cross dressing for me is very sensual and sexual. It feels to me that i try to be the woman i want. It is like one part of myself dressing to please and tease the other. It is a simmering sexual buzz that can go for a long long time. Now that my SO accepts and is happy for me to dress with her and she holds me to her, everything is heightened, both parts of myself and her. That is my best way of expressing my experience.

Your experience sounds like it is unfolding for you, judge yourself gently.

[NicoleScott]

Shiny-J, your beginnings are typical for me and other pleasure dressers, just the fetish objects are different. We put something on, got a sexual response, kept doing it, and expanded and enhanced it for even greater pleasure. It seems that most here say their dressing was sexual but has moved away from that. Like you, mine has always been sexual. Not to say that there aren't other aspects of crossdressing that attract me, but the sexual element is still there.


This, however, is where my biggest problem has evolved... Any time I'm having sex with a girl, I have constant thoughts and desires to dress and it causes anxiety and has also caused impotence on many occasions. It's like I NEED to dress or the sex isn't satisfying enough.


This caught my attention, because it's just the opposite for me. I can use thoughts of crossdressing to prop up any performance issues I have. To your last sentence, it's like I need to think about crossdressing because, for some reason, the sex isn't getting me there. My thoughts (fantasies) are my own, just as my partner's are her own. She may be thinking about Brad Pitt for all I know. Whatever works.

[rah]

natalialimapoa yes! i 100% feel the same way as you do.

[Renee Elise]

Hi Natalia,

For me it was mostly the feeling of the clothes at first...then in my teen years it became a huge turn on (weird shit happens with the onset of puberty lol). When I fully dressed for the first time and saw a completely different person in the mirror, a whole bunch of other complicated feelings emerged. It is still a rush, and also very relaxing and wonderful. It's hard to give up something so personally liberating and fun. I too struggled with the conflict, guilt, etc. It's hard to reverse years of programming about what we're "supposed" to wear, look like, and especially for men, acceptable gender roles.

[Ms.Kenadie]

It wasnt sexual when I first started, more of a feeling of being different, and experimenting with the different types of clothing. Then later on when I think about it, and even now it is sexual. Extremely satisfyingly sexual intensity. Even now, there is a sexual satisfaction to slipping on panties and pantyhose. Then again, all aspects of it give me a thrill. The shaving, grooming, and then the dressing just gives me a such a rush. At this stage of my life, I feel that it is as intense as it ever has been once I became sexually aware.
Now however, I find an inner peace when I dress that has me wondering if I am turning a corner into something else entirely besides crossdressing. Could just be acceptance.

Whatever it is, I intend to enjoy the ride!

[Carly CD]

Yes, no, maybe lol. I answered that way because when I dress I get no sexual excitement from it. Many times i feel my sex drive slows down the more i dress. But when I dressed for past boyfriends there was a definite sexual presence. But recently my wife and I had a romantic night with me dressed, although we had fun, I can't say being dressed added to it. I also can't say I never got excited while dressed, but that also happens in drab. When I started dressing as a child it was because I felt I should have been a girl. Even as I got older, my dressing has been for the same reason.

[stacy956]

Like some of the girls said it was something sexual in my teen years but as i hit my twenties it stoped being sexual and started feeling like this is who i was now its me being my girly self nothing more than that :)

[Cheryl T]

In my teens it certainly was and that continued for a number of years.
Now it's not even a thought. This is just who I am and it's not something that is sexually driven.

[pamela7]

At first, sexual yes, it is still when it comes to the bedroom, and generally more aroused around the home, though that varies up and down so to speak.

I still see "passing" as primarily a self-defence mechanism to avoid trans/homo-phobia from men in public, and don't feel any need to pass at home. Tucking as part of passing, I get, but I prefer the feel of the fabric on the boys.

[Vintage4sarah]

This thread is similar to others that have been posted and they are all both fascinating and informative. These have led to much thought, soul searching and more research. If you asked me to put in a concise statement, I would say that it is all sensual with both a sexual overtone and the wonderful feeling of being totally enfemme. It has become a thrill and a comfort to be totally immersed my female persona.

[Sallee]

for me it is certainly something sexual. A fetish perhaps, not that I dress outlandishly. I try to dress to blend and pass. I don't seek a sexual partner when I dress nor do I desire one. But I think dressing is or has been sexual for most of us at one time in our dressing careers. We enjoy looking at nice fashion and outfits on women and ourselves. Is that sexual? I think sex powers a lot of life whether we want to admit it or not We all know sex sells.
Great question sure to get lots of comments

[Ressie]

It's always been sexual to me. Going on 50 years of sexual arousal. Should I be ashamed of that?

[Zylia]

I do wonder where the idea comes from something 'sexual' can't be something real or serious; where 'sexual' is something we do as opposed to something we are.

Most of us have the need to express ourselves visually, emotionally and/or sexually in a feminine way. You can have long and winding discussions about what this 'feminine' actually means, where it comes from and whether or not it's a social construct altogether, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Many of us will wonder if we experience a gender incongruence because of a "supplementary" sexual interest, or the other way around. Either way means you experience a gender incongruence.

[LilSissyStevie]

There's a lot of shame and denial about sex in this community. That's a reflection of our sex-negative culture though its better now than when I was growing up. If a rubber fetishist were to go from the occasional latex induced sexual frenzy to wearing latex 24/7 because it was calming and stress reducing, would we say that he used to have a rubber fetish but now it's more than that? A fetish is a fetish is a fetish. Also the argument that we started this long before puberty therefor it's not sexual doesn't hold water. Children are sexual beings. The things that arouse us (sexual imprints) are rooted in early childhood. My early CDing experiences were not overtly sexual. I did (and still do) have what I know now were sexual fantasies, but they were more about being dominated by women in authority (teachers, nurses, babysitters, etc.) But I fantasized about being a girl to escape the intense anxiety I felt about being a boy and sometimes I dressed up in my sister's clothes to act out those fantasies. When I reached puberty my emasculation anxiety only got worse and I sexualized it. When I got turned on, I fantasized about being a girl or a sissy and then I would dress up sometimes. But just putting on women's clothes does not turn me on. It's the other way around. The great discovery for me was the realization that it isn't the clothes or particular sexual scenarios per se that are arousing but the anxiety itself is the sexual trigger. Unfortunately, that's an imprint that isn't going to go away. I have almost no capacity left for getting aroused like a so-called normal man. The good news is I have an understanding wife and we can usually work with it and around it.

[docrobbysherry]

I'm 70. This is what I see in my mirror. Why do u think I choose to present like this!?:devil:

240061
That being said, when I'm out with dressing friends, sex never enters my mind!:brolleyes:

[natalialimapoa]

Your answers certainly opened my mind in a good way :) I think that I need to take some time and think about this more deeply. I cant deny that my CD is connected to something sexual, since I feel much more excited when I feel like a girl in bed, but it really is just some aspect of human nature.

I think that the best realization until now about this aspect of myself, is that, for me, sex is connected to CD, but the CD is not necessarily connected to sex. If that makes any sense.

It brings another question in my mind: When you have sex, you get more excited thinking yourself as a girl or a men? For me, I definitely get more excited when I feel like a girl. I dont know why, but it is like this.

[Claire Cook]

I agree with the first response by Joanne. Started that way in my teens, and still continues to be somewhat sexual sometimes...but far less so now, as it's more about feeling whole and fulfilled.

Count me in this group.

[Crissy Kay]

I agree with the others, it started that way, and that continues, but to a lesser extent. Now it is more comfort than stimulation. But, I do enjoy the stimulation too.

That is pretty much how I feel too. The feeling is still there, just more in the background now. I still remain a sissy or fetish dresser though, after a lot of years. For some reason, that never changed.

[AnnieMac]

It's both for me Mink.
What kind of sissie are you Shiny-J that you can't repair a Corvette engine - "Geesh, what a girl!"
They never say it much but I think dressing is sexual for GGs too, by that I mean I'm sure they feel good when they look good, particularly if it's a nice sexy outfit a GG might wear to a party or event. Not all that different from us - sometimes :)

And your comment Natalialimapoa, about sex being better when you feel like a girl. I was just thinking today that there seems to be a fairly substantial female component to my sexuality, I dunno perhaps a touch of submissiveness or something. It's hard to explain, but I think I'll start a thread about that, since that's a whole other topic.

[juliecd1]

I am new to this site but not new to being feminine. There is a certain amount of autogynaphelia in me which has developed as most of my dressing winds in sexual feelings with my self that escalate and mimic female response . However once the endorphin overload subsides whether I climax or not it dissipates. The object is not to feel guilty or ashamed and learn about all side of yourself. Life is much better when you reach an understanding of who you really are.

[JessMe]

I mean ABSOLUTELY no disrespect to those who do this as a fetish, or who find sexual pleasure in dressing... hey, you do you. However, I have seen a few posts that suggest that as children, we are "sexual beings", etc. , and frankly (right or wrong), I DISAGREE wholeheartedly. As a child, prior to puberty (which was pure hell.), I did not feel any sexual connection to the clothing at that age whatsoever. I began dressing at the age when people typically learn that there is a difference between girls and boys, and I just "knew" that I wanted to be on the other side of the fence, if you will. "Dressing" was then, and remains still, a manifestation of my compulsion to be "feminine"...I don't dislike or attempt to disprove those who find sexual pleasure in the act of dressing in the clothing of the opposite sex, but I think ALL of us could stand to be a little less firm in convictions that come from our experience alone.

[irene9999]

I was always attracted to girl clothes since a very early age but as I grew up it definately became more sexual. The feeling when being dressed has always turned me on, but as I get older I find that it's just a way of expressing myself. I would say that I find women's clothing sexier and dressing as one makes me feel sexy. To each her own I guess!

[tictac43]

Hi Natalia!

Thanks for sharing! I feel pretty much the same way. I came to the realization it's pretty much something kinky I like to do and it excites me. I go in phases but average out to actually dressing up once a month. I like talking about it with my Gf or thinking about it but it's not an identity thing for me personally.

I don't think that makes it any less important or anything. It's great that you came to that conclusion and know yourself that well. Now you can enjoy it for what it is to you! It's nice to know I'm not the only one who feels this way :)

[Gillian Gigs]

The whole issue of whether a child is a sexual being can be summed up this way, in my opinion. Little boys play with themselves long before they know what sex is all about. They don't play with their fingers that way...because it feels different. Little girls do similar things also, possibly because it feels good in some way or another.
Considering the way I started down this path, if it wasn't sexual, then to was gender based in some way. Entering puberty, it didn't seem to be sexual, just fun, that changed soon enough with the first ejaculation, and from that point onward it has been sexual, very sexual. What about today... well as a teen it was like being in a foot race, done in 20 minutes, couldn't get out of the clothes fast enough. Now it is a really a slow walk, almost a crawl at times to cross the finish line. I know how it will finish it's more about the enjoyable time before the finish line. The older I get the longer the race, the best races can last 2 to 4 days. Once across the finish line the desire is greatly reduced, but still there to start brewing again.
If some want to call it a fetish, then so be it. I prefer to call it my little quirk, and it seems to be very deeply ingrained, duh, I have been doing it a long time. The point, it doesn't hinder my being a good citizen, husband, father, so what's the big deal!

[BillieAnneJean]

CDing is not sexual to me in any way. I receive no sexual vibes from it.

But it is fun, it is an escape from the male world, and the creative part of me is expressed in the creation of Billie.

For me it is more that I am an actor in street theatre.

However as the facilitator of a crossdresser support group and having articles published with my photo, I have become known in the Grand Rapids LGBT community and have found that I can help people. That is a totally unexpected benefit to me.

Nope, nothing sexual about it to me. But maybe that is because I am in a LONGTIME Relationship with my SO. She is a real GG and everything pales in comparison to her.

[juliecd1]

That is a very good summary and mostly mirrors my own journey. I also have been at this a long time. There are rare occasions when I do not have to travel on business that I can be my alternate self for a number of days at a time. It helps me decompress from the stress

[Teresa]

My Cding was sexual from the start and remained that way ever since ! I really think we shouldn't be ashamed of it if it's what makes us tick ! I'm stuck with wanting to share it with a partner and after having a GF that was OK with it , I know it can happen ! I feel I've now gone full circle, my dressing time has been cut down to once a week and the sexual need has increased which I find annoying at times because I was beginning to enjoy dressing without a sexual ending.
Some have commented that without the sexual component they may not be CDers, I can't honestly answer that ! I do wonder about my need to be out and open more if my needs are still sexual ! I suppose the enjoyment of just wearing nice clothes, feeling comfortable and letting the female side out is also gratifying !

[cdterri]

All I know is according to the nun's I'm going to hell for certain!

[Stephanie47]

In my youth I found cross dressing was sexually stimulating. It lead a lot of time to self gratification, if you know what I mean. In retrospect I think the sexual aspect that I associated with cross dressing really was just what a teenage male does. Most guys probably grabbed their copy of Playboy magazine and did what guys usually do. Me? Us? Maybe the clothing enhanced the experience.

Now? For many decades cross dressing has been a source of contentment and a chance to feel comfortable and be stress free.

[ZenladyCD5]

Yes, It is more of a sexual thing for me. Most of the clothes I have worn or that I want, are lycra, spandex, satin, shiny, etc. I love short skirts, short dresses, sexy tops, tights, pumps, etc.

[ophelia]

Absolutely sexual it is for me. It is such a turn on that I've had "events" in the salon and makeup chair. And may it ever be so.
If I ever find a GG to share my passion I'm going to have to go back to thinking of cold Canadian winters again like when I was seventeen and accidentally making short nights of it, if you get my snowdrift, sister.

[sometimes_miss]

CD'ing is different things to different people. for me it was always a reflection on who I am, not who I was in relation to what I was to someone else. So no, it never created a sexually exciting feeling for me. When I did have sexual fantasies while dressed as a girl, it was always sort of secondary to the real interaction of me being with a particular desired girl, who either accidentally found me dressed up, or dressed me up after she discovered that I wanted to. In either case, it was about her making me feel good about myself by liking me despite the crossdressing, something I will probably never encounter in real life.

[Aprilweathers]

For me, there is a large sexual component to the dressing.

Arousal has always been a part of the experience for me. The genesis of the activity itself roughly coincides with my first erotic experience. At 33 it's still something that excites me a lot, even though I can lounge around en femme and just enjoy the relaxation of it all, more often than not I dress for the thrill.

[drushin703]

Hi Natalia.

First things first: Crossdressing is sex. Perhaps the purest form since, like poetry, it comes from your deepest most provenly human demonstrations. Secondly, I've had sex with women before and trust me, it's overrated. Women tend to
talk too much and they smell funny on parts of their bodies that you think should smell good. lol..And there is no Masters and Johnson science behind this conclusion of mine. Just my personal observation.........dana

[adrienner99]

I wonder how common this is: There was a period (a long period) in my life when I would spend an hour or two getting dressed, take a few photos, then "deal with" the intense sexual arousal I'd been feeling the whole time. Then, I would undress and go back to boy mode as fast as possible. So perhaps fetish dressing may have been a more accurate term for me than crossdressing. Finding that "sweet spot" on the crossdressing spectrum-- fetish dresser, crossdresser, TS--and who knows how many other slots--remains a real struggle.

[Joanie_Shakti]

Now it's more a comfort thing. I dress to feel centred and balanced. When dressed I feel comfortable in my own skin so to speak and held in all the right places. I also prefer the Fem me in the mirror to the Male me. The Fem me actually seems to smile back at me wheras the other guy always turns to walk away once he has seen me

Aside from a couple of wigs and a housedress with my mom's permission when I was younger (I was disappointed that it wasn't a nicer dress), my first experience was trying on pantyhose at 12 years old, which led to instant arousal. Though, my focus was on nylon panties for years until I was working and could afford (and had the courage) to buy pantyhose, dresses and skirts.

Often times now, there is still a release and I may or may not quickly remove all feminine clothing afterwards, but I also feel like AccidentalDresser, where I feel more centered and balanced and feel the fem me looks better than the male me. Mainly because I smile more and my eyes look happier, especially with makeup on them. Only problem is that with the stress of being an adult male during the week, I end up neglecting things I need to do on the weekends as I want to dress up. Living with others, I only have free reign of the house on the very rare occasion everyone's out of town. Otherwise, I remain locked in my bedroom most of the time and when Sunday evening rolls around, I feel the weekend went by too quickly and I really didn't accomplish anything again.

[RachelF]

For me it is mostly a sexual fetish. Said that, I have to admit that I think I would dress 7x24 if no social consequences would result from xdressing. Of course that is just a thought, given there is no way to know what would happen if ...

I think that there is no unvalid reasons to dress, if you are doing it because you want.

So I think it is OK if you feel a sexual turn on dressing or not.

Rachelf

[Mink]

Hi Natalia.

First things first: Crossdressing is sex. Perhaps the purest form since, like poetry, it comes from your deepest most provenly human demonstrations. Secondly, I've had sex with women before and trust me, it's overrated. Women tend to
talk too much and they smell funny on parts of their bodies that you think should smell good. lol..And there is no Masters and Johnson science behind this conclusion of mine. Just my personal observation.........dana


Absolutely sexual it is for me. It is such a turn on that I've had "events" in the salon and makeup chair. And may it ever be so.
If I ever find a GG to share my passion I'm going to have to go back to thinking of cold Canadian winters again like when I was seventeen and accidentally making short nights of it, if you get my snowdrift, sister.

what the dang hell!

[Seana Summer]

Hi Natalia

I started Crossdressing when I was 3 or 4 years old. It was not sexual at that time, at least I don't think it was. In my teens it was quite "stimulating" but I was still focused on girls and trying to figure out how to get one in bed:D. Now, with a GG SO the joy of Crossdressing is hard to describe, but it is primarily a mysterious source of comfort. They say men are very visual, and I am certainly stimulated by the sight and touch of an attractive female, and I look like one homely women when dressed!:eek::lol:

My general philosophy is don't stress too much about why you crossdress and if it is about being sexually aroused from it, its good to think about it and ponder the question, but focus on what you want to do and where you want to go with your life in the future. I think most of us could spend too much of our lives trying to figure out why, or what this means, when we could be enjoying life.

[jessidresser]

Today i wear sport bra and panty under men's clothes. It felt really great and sexual!

[larissa-laurie]

It started out as fun with my sister dressing me completely like a girl. But it quickly turned into something sexually stimulating and has been most of the time. I just can't get over the slippery soft panties and pantyhose, satin girdle, slippery slip and a dress with a nylon liner to it, plus a satin bra and slippery camisole. These make me totally sexually stimulated even with all the make-up and jewelry too. I wonder if liking to wear all these feminine things makes one less of a crossdresser but I don't know else to describe it. I just love the overwhelming feeling of slipperiness and stimulation.

[Paula_56]

The old standard by the gate keepers was if you had any type of sexual connection to cross dressing then you were not a "true transsexual" That thinking has since fell by the wayside. Many transgender people in the past would deny any sexual connection in order to get on HRT or SRS.

I have a dear friend who is 8 years post op and happily married, she loved to cross dress in all types of trashy clothes when she was younger she still loves clothes and fashion. Many women do BTW.

In my opinion when you put a female brain in a male body and load it with testosterone strange things will happen. In many cases erotic cross dressing.

I would say it is typical for a woman to be aroused by thought of feeling sexy and desirable.

As you see here most of us were hit with a sexual connection to our cross dressing in puberty. As we gre older many of us evolved to a more spiritual connection

[Rachel Lea]

it feels good sexually sometimes, it's nice to just hang out,and it's interesting ,excitng, mysterious, dangerous and other stuff too for me

exactly!

[c2candice]

Lots of great perspective here. Good for me to see the range of responses.

I think it's important to realize that the sexual component in NO WAY diminishes, or dehumanizes the experience. It's easy to write it off by saying it's "just" a kink. And we are just deviants.

NO, it's a part of our WHOLE personality. Cross dressing touches a multitude of emotions and parts of my personality. It brings out my impulsive, creative, irrational side. Parts of me that almost never show up when in my normal male life.

Hugs,
Candice

[wanda66]

I began with my mothers things , i dont know why,it just felt like the thing to do .and it still is. NOW I dont feel ashame of c/d iam poised and relaxed , and life is grand because i understand my self much better. Enjoy.

[c2candice]

I think it's important to realize that the sexual component in NO WAY diminishes, or dehumanizes the experience. It's easy to write it off by saying it's "just" a kink. And we are just deviants.

My point here, to drive it home, is to accept that some part of it is sexual. This will remove the toxic shame and guilt that will infect the rest of your life like a dark cloud!

[Vicky Peters]

It has been sexual from the beginning as a teen to now as a senior. Now there is no time limits to conform to, just the pleasures to absorb.

[TamaraM]

When I first started I was young so any sexual feelins behind it I was not fully aware of yet. As I got older, hit puberty, and had hormones raging it became more and more sexually fulfilling.

I have had many times, when able, that I have dressed and just went happily about my day at home with no sexual connotations. I believe now it is more often than not mainly sexual due to lack of time to relax and feel good without that stimulation due to working around SO's close schedule.

[VictoriaW]

For me, I've come to realize that my emotions are heightened when dressed up. So I'm more sexual when I'm dressed but I'm also happier, more relaxed and a variety of other things on a exponentially higher level than when in boy mode.

[lesli]

it makes me feel more sexy, it does not turn me on as far as wanting sex, but it puts me in a mood where i am very calm and just feel everything around me and about me. so i guess i would have to say yes, it is sexual to me, because it lets me feel the sensual nature of being human as a sexual being.

[missynicole]

it is sexual to me even at this point......I love being fem in all regards....yes the dressing relaxes me but it still makes me think.......

[Cindia]

Pretty much yes. But if I have the time, I really love staying dressed after.

[katie elouise]

The whole issue of whether a child is a sexual being can be summed up this way, in my opinion. Little boys play with themselves long before they know what sex is all about. They don't play with their fingers that way...because it feels different. Little girls do similar things also, possibly because it feels good in some way or another.
Considering the way I started down this path, if it wasn't sexual, then to was gender based in some way. Entering puberty, it didn't seem to be sexual, just fun, that changed soon enough with the first ejaculation, and from that point onward it has been sexual, very sexual. What about today... well as a teen it was like being in a foot race, done in 20 minutes, couldn't get out of the clothes fast enough. Now it is a really a slow walk, almost a crawl at times to cross the finish line. I know how it will finish it's more about the enjoyable time before the finish line. The older I get the longer the race, the best races can last 2 to 4 days. Once across the finish line the desire is greatly reduced, but still there to start brewing again.
If some want to call it a fetish, then so be it. I prefer to call it my little quirk, and it seems to be very deeply ingrained, duh, I have been doing it a long time. The point, it doesn't hinder my being a good citizen, husband, father, so what's the big deal!

Summed up beautifully I couldn't have put it better myself . ...............Thank you Katie x.

[Valery L]

For me, absolutely and irrevocably SEXUAL.

[Jaymees22]

Well of course that was my first experience and still has that effect on me. Now at my present age I can control when and where I use this gift in a sexual way. Most of the time though I'm just happy to be dressed and experience my true self. Hugs Jaymee

[Brandy Mathews]

At first it was a sexual thing for me. Went years like that. Then as the years went by I started to change. After 20 years, I have come to a conclusion that I am "Bree" inside and I really like that feeling. I'm not saying that I don't get aroused sometimes when dressed, but that could happen to a GG as well. I dress to express myself, for a release I guess. But I do know this, I am pretty sure that "Bree" will always be inside me.
Hugs,
Bree :)

[Sallee]

good description

[Sallee]

Great descriptio What does every one else think when they see you dressed like that. You definitely "hot" and thats ok

[Tracy Hazel Lee]

There are many facets of my dressing that I take pleasure in. Only one of them is sexual. Dressing by itself, or the act of dressing, does not sexually arouse me... (wait for it)... without some provocation. And it's not the sole reason why I dress. Not to say that there's never been times where I dressed for the sole purpose of reaching O-town... There have been plenty of times where I did exactly that. And I still do.

However, it has never caused any embarrassing bodily reactions that I were beyond my control. I can get excited about it, feel very happy about my appearance, and can be dressed for hours, with or without friends, and never feel like I need to 'tame the dragon'. So not every dressing session requires a happy ending... Now, having said that though, I will very openly admit that when I want it to be arousing, dressing MOST DEFINITELY enhances the output. :D

[Kath]

This was a response to Lori on the first page. So sorry to hear that you aren't dressing because you are well into your 60's. I'm 73 and certainly cannot be "that outrageously sexy girl" but I can say it still feels good. In some ways I can envy your decision to stop dressing, Lord only knows how many times I have tried to stop in the past 60+ years. Yes it was and still is a sexual thing for me. Lori, wish I could know and discuss CD issues with you, because all my life there have been issues with it but all I can say the desire and need to dress outweighed all other issues.
Kath

[Alice_2014_B]

I’ve replied to very similar posting here about this. As I explained to a good friend I met on this forum, “Cross-dressing doesn’t define my sexuality and my sexuality doesn’t define my cross-dressing.”
I keep them separate. Obviously it is different for different people and that is absolutely fine; I’m not finding fault with anyone who feels different than me or my aforementioned expression. Yes, cross-dressing is a very “releasing” feeling that is, to me, beyond sexual.

[Jessie James]

Nope, I'll dress sexy sometimes but it isn't sexual for me. To clarify, I get an emotional release from my dressing rather an... *Ahem* physical one.

Jessie ~☆

[rocketscientist]

Why ask why? You could drive yourself nuts infinitely trying to psychoanalize yourself. Stop wondering and enjoy all the sensations and feelings it brings. Like Sheryl Crow sings "if it makes you happy it can't be that bad". And I don't know anyone that doesn't enjoy feeling sexy.

[MarinaKirax]

Yes. What makes me aroused is the idea of myself as feminine; the image of me being a woman. It can be easy to mistake one for the other. I thought at times my urge to dress was a desire to be feminine or to be a woman. But I realized eventually that I really didn't want to be an unattractive woman, or to be an old woman, or to make love to men, or to have periods, etc. What I loved was the idea of myself as female. That idea has always been sexual to me, and I've written threads like " would you still dress if there were no mirrors in the world?" . I also have issues with damsels in distress and bondage, but again, it's the image of myself in that situation that enthralls me. It's a subtle distinction, but when you come to define yourself in the CD/TS spectrum, crucial. Just my thoughts, MK

[Beverley Sims]

I think there will always be something sexual in there.

[Bridget Ann Gilbert]

Wearing lingerie is still very sexual for me, but going en femme is surprisingly asexual. I don't recall a time when I was dressed that I was aroused by myself, or even aroused by GGs. Strange that.

[LaurenNZ]

It is a sexual experience for me, but the level of sexiness varies with each 'dress-up'. Often it will depend on who I am with or what I am doing - chatting to another cd will sometimes trigger very sexual feelings for instance, while a quiet night in front of the tv with the SO will not necessarily arouse the same feelings. However, I have to say the feeling of satin, lace, silk or nylon against my body is wonderful at any time.

[shena]

i consider my dressing a fet. Part of my sexual side. Being admired by a man, as well as women is liberating.( if not a tad narcissistic ) ha

[BillieAnneJean]

I consider CDing a non sexual activity. Others do. I am not privileged to consider one better or correct or acceptable. Only each person may decide for themselves

[Stephanie A]

CDing is both sexual and more and more a normal thing to be. However it can be a real turnon, which is fun. Yet being Stephanie is more who is inside, so why not allow dress and become relaxed and enjoy the life that is developing.

[Sarah Doepner]

When I was 24, EVERYTHING was sexual. Now, more than 40 years later when the question comes up about sex and crossdressing, I'm trying to remember those days. Actually it would be good to ask someone who isn't a crossdresser if they ever mastrubate. What drives them and is being straight a fetish? We are sexual critters and it's pretty natural to do things that make us feel aroused, then take care of it. I wouldn't worry. And with me, when that happens, I don't automatically revert to guy mode, so it seems that the clothing isn't driving that part of my life these days either.

[Kristy 56]

Yes it is ,at times more intense than others. However, I can stay dressed all day and not have any sexual tensions. A GG I knew once told me that some GGs when getting all dressed and dolled up experience sexual desires.

[Chrissi]

I have thought about this question a lot over the years and more recently since reading it a couple of weeks ago. I decided to wait about answering until I had really given it some deep thought, and tried to live through it, and perhaps even force some feelings and situations.

Not sure I have arrived at an answer, as much as a satisfactory explanation: To me, dressing, being feminine, being me, lends itself to a subtle euphoria, a sense of well being, contentedness, authenticness, in that I don't have to put on a persona, or act a certain way, or catch myself from saying a certain thing (not that ever stopped me anyway) that might give away my - now, not so - "secret." Can it be sexual, sure and that is a beautiful thing, but it is moreso a normalcy, a foundation of the day in which I live. Being a "guy" at work isn't hard, because there is a routine, but seeing woman freely just doing their work and living through their day, to me is distracting sometimes in that that's how I want to be too. Getting home and changing into Chrissi, isn't a daily occurance, but just as frequently is, and lets me finish the day somewhat balanced. But can it be sexual?

Sure, if sex ends up as part of that day (night) then yes, it can be sexual. This is something, finally, my bf and I are exploring. But this is where I really started thinking, is the act of dressing up, to me Sexual in nature? Or is it because of some external stimulas. So, that is where, with some confidence, my answer, would be not necessarily. Sure, dressing in sexy clothes, as opposed to dressing in casual clothes, the fabrics, the styles, the undergarments, sets the mood and the level of euphoria and sexiness. So dressing in lingerie is, yes, sexual for me. Dressing in casual jeans and blouse, no. Lacy panties and satin cami, yes, cotton cami and pj bottoms, not so much.

I hope this explains my own feelings about this.
Chrissi

[GiaDivine]

Dressing can be a very sexual thing. Seeing a guy wearing really tight jeans is a turn on. Wearing heels is a great turn on. Shaved legs are a turn on, wether I am wearing my shorts to gym, or sheer stockings! But I agree with some other posts here, when I am full dressed, from the wig down to the painted toes, it becomes sex of a turn on and more a deeper feeling of contentment and relaxation. So I think it's normal to be turned on by certain items of clothing, be it male or female. And I think both men and women in all our forms are sensory beings and we are built to enjoy and be stimulated by those senses. And to feel less turned on and less stimulated on other occasions. Enjoy whatever turns you on, don't judge it, love it!!