OMG!!! 2nd or 3rd time out and having a moment...

[Katey888]

Soooo... unprepared post this one but thought I'd share the feelings... :eek:

My definite second time out is tomorrow (Saturday) evening - major ball at Woburn Abbey for the Trans* community... my prep has been.. lethargic, this time - and now this morning I'm having a major :wtf: moment and thinking: "I could just cancel..." :facepalm:

This is common - I know... I was tentatively planning on getting out this evening to an accepting LGBT club, just to chill, pose and get in the mood. Good idea, right??? I DON'T KNOW....?!?! I feel like I can - and I should... I get the butterflies already - but i'm still thinking (I know, I know....) - Why do I need to do this? Why do I feel good about the feeling (setting aside the nerves, which is just an event thing) but still wonder what I'm doing...?

Am I making a complete plonker of myself? Surely not... This is deeper than just a bit of socialising and dancing - I wouldn't need to do that en femme or in drag right...? But I'm still thinking of (and enjoying) what hair? Blonde or darker...? What shoes...? Is a feather boa absolutely de rigeur...? (Yes, yes, YES!!!) ;)

So maybe tonight will settle me - nothing wild, just getting out, mess with some outfits, blah, blah... but then tomorrow is the full Monty... I know I have to do it to find out... It's not quite 'climbing the mountain coz it's there', but I suspect it's our equivalent of that timeless rationale...

Wish me luck everyone - who knows what the next couple of days will bring... :hiding:

Not-being-much-of-a-drama-kween Katey x ;)

[Vikky]

Hi Katey

Go for it - you've got the b***s.

Vikky

[Marcie]

Relax Katey, Your evening will probably go uneventful. You mentioned it is a LBGT club and they certainly expect cross dressers and gays. You should enjoy yourself meeting new friends with similar interests

[Jean 103]

Just make sure you leave yourself time to change clothes three times. LOL have a great time Love Jean

[Teresa]

Katey,
What are going to feel worse about, doing it or not doing it ??
Just take the chance to be Katey and think about it the day after ! I bet you'll feel better that you did it !

[Eringirl]

It's okay Katie, I get it. Just a bit of "cold feet". You will be fine. Sometimes one thinks "should I really to out tonight". But once they do, they find it so worth it and glad they did. If you really don't want to then don't. There is no one keeping score. But I think you really do, just getting "chilly toes". Once you are there you will be glad you did. Sounds like a totally safe environment, and if anyone can pull this off, you can! You go girl!!

Of, course, you will have to let us know how it goes, and you know the golden rule, "if there are no pictures..." ;)

Erin

[MsVal]

Okay Katey, I'll help you decide...
You're going.
You're going to have a good time.
You're going to have a good time meeting people.
You're going to have a good time meeting people just like us.
You're going to have a good time meeting people just like us and wonder why you ever had second thoughts.

You are gorgeous, smart, and witty. Don't hide it, share it.

Please PLEASE tell us how it went, in words and pictures.

Best wishes
MsVal

[Heidi Stevens]

Go Katey, just go!! I wish I had something like this that was close enough to go to! You're going to do just fine!

[ashleymasters]

Katey,

I think it's very normal to feel apprehensive. Especially the first handful of times you go out. It's good that you are pushing yourself to experience things. There are a number of things I wondered if I would enjoy and had to force myself to try. Some I liked and others I didn't. The best part is that either way now I know and I can focus on what I do really enjoy. it's very rewarding. best of luck to you honey.

[bridget thronton]

If you decide to go to the ball in hope you have a wonderful time

[Jenniferathome]

Katey, I think dwelling on the "why you go out or want to go out" question is like asking why we cross dress. No great answer except that I think it is just a validation that we are people. People socialize. Have fun

[AngelaYVR]

This has happened to me, too. I find all those fears evaporate as soon as you are out the door but in the meantime just trust in yourself, make yourself look fantastic and maybe have a wee tot of something bracing! You'll be so glad you went and so mad if you don't. Show those nerves who's in charge!

xox

[SherriePall]

Katey, we want pics of you at the event! Lots of them.

[Julie Denier]

You'll be great, Katey! You always look fantastic. Speaking as someone with just one time out dressed under her belt, I know I'd be heading out a second time if the right opportunity arose. So get out and have fun! And take pictures ;)

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Katey,
Crappy timing for the WTF feeling to show up!
I'm sure they will disappear a soon as you slip on that last heel and step out.
Have some fun, and let's see that smile!
Much Love
Kristyn

[kimgirl]

Go for it, Girl! Gotta see some pics though:GD: I'm very envious.

[carhill2mn]

You are experiencing what nearly everyone who is new at going out in public has experienced. You will be fine. Just remember what you have learned and that your smile is your best friend! Act confidently and as if you belong wherever you are.

[Kate Simmons]

Wow, just enjoy yourself Lady Katey. You have my permission Hon. ;):battingeyelashes::)

[Katey888]

Thanks girls... you're all hero(ine)s! :hugs:

So, I'm tucked into my hotel room now, one carry bag of boy stuff, two dress carriers and one large suitcase of femme options... for two nights out... seriously..??? :facepalm: The tension is a curious mixture of all those old questions, and the pleasant feeling of just being able to get into this mode for a couple of evenings and experience a new event and meet some new members of our community. It may sound odd but I feel more like a part of things just by doing these specific events and small steps - but I know it's more just a social thing for now; no campaigner me yet..! From mighty oaks, yes..? :)

Time to relax and focus on something productive... some nail work helps the butterflies, and then a little ponder on outfits for tonight... maybe some selfies to help the failing memory too... ;)

Katey x

[kimdl93]

Not absolutely sure what plonkers is, but given the context, no you're not. You're right where each of us (that goes out in public) has been at one point or another. It's ok. In quiet moments I still ask myself. To be human is to question. Ultimately, those deep seated doubts do, in my case at least, yield to the need, to the sense of fulfillment and the fun of going out and being myself...or at least this very important part of myself.

Whatever happens, it's OK. This is your life...no one else's.

[pamela7]

wow Katey,
its amazing someone we look up to has the same wobbles ... that's both comforting and alarming at the same time!
good luck with it, i'd have wanted to be there, but not quite ready yet!!

xxx

[Sarah Doepner]

I've found that when I start feeling that way the best thing is to get ready. The process of doing the transformation helps keep the butterflys at bay for a while. Then look in the mirror and if you see the woman who deserves to get out from the room, do it. If you see the other person there, sit down and check your nails or change outfits. Just keep checking and eventually that person in the mirror will tell you if and when it's time to go.

Then go back and read all the stories (no, not all of them, there are too many) of successful trips out where the expectation was for disaster and the result was almost a non-event except for the perma-smile you have when you get back to the room.

Good luck, you'll be fine.

[Shelly Preston]

Katey go out and enjoy every minute you can.

It's one of those things you would regret if you didn't go and have a lot of fun.

[Amy Fakley]

Gawd! I totally get where you're coming from, Katey. I get the worst social anxiety, before events like that without dressing. I can't imagine what it's like with dressing in the mix too (someday, I'm sure I'll find out ... someday ... lol)

Hang in there. It's often a bit like riding a Rollercoaster for me ... the worst part is the waiting and the anticipation, but once you're in the saddle and things start moving, it's pretty exciting ... and once it's over, doing it again is all you'll wanna do :-)

[Carmen]

Katey the moment that you walk through those doors all of your anxieties will instantly vaporize and you will have a wonderful time being the girl that you are.

[GretchenJ]

Yikes !!! I have never read an email that I have sensed hyperventilating between sentences. Take a deep breath my friend, all is going to be well. It will be well because the most important thing that you will have tomorrow is nothing that you packed , it's rather your sense of humor, your warm personality and your confidence. Like they say, the most important thing is your smile, plus you have already ventured out very successfully and looked beautiful doing so.



It may sound odd but I feel more like a part of things just by doing these specific events and small steps

Katey x
Not odd at all. It is these events, rather than staying home, or dressing in private , that make you feel like you are not alone, and there are people out there just like you, with the same emotions, fears, passions that validates the times when we close the car door, put you hands on the wheel, and ask yourself one more time - do I REALLY want to this today? When you get there , you always say it was worth it.

Relax this evening, put something casual on , and take a simple stroll around the hotel to clear the cobwebs. ( a glass of vino will definitely not hurt ) You will look and be awesome tomorrow . I promise.

P.S - go with the blonde wig.. That's the traditional Katey look !

P.P.S - we demand pictures !!! Lol

Gretch

[honey3333]

Well, you look great nd ia m sure you are going to have a wonderful week end and am a little jealous!

[carrie2014]

HI katey go for it I will be taking my first time out on sunday to a super bowl party and will be meeting five new cd friends. for me if i make any mistakes I will be told by someone what to do next time out. I feel that you will have a great time at your events. good luck and just be yourself and everything will fall right into place.
Carrie2014

[reb.femme]

Seriously hope you have a great time Katey and sorry I can't be there with you. You look too good to be true in your pics, so I'm absolutely sure you will wow! As previously stated, a couple of drinks and a little pre-event butterflies but onwards and upwards......carpe diem!

Work, training courses and home repairs/improvements have my life booked completely until at least end of Feb.

I'll put it on here so I'm pledged to the world, that I will make a Pink Punters or other venue with you in the early months of this year. This girl needs to get out more and is working on the weight loss too. Have a fantastic night.

Rebecca (All work and no play makes Rebecca a dull girl)

[PaulaQ]

Katey, just go for it darlin'. You look better than some women I know who have been on HRT for a while. You look great. Go have fun and enjoy the freedom to express this part of yourself.

What I always told myself when I started was that "it's OK for me to be wearing this stuff - I'm a woman, women dress like this." Maybe that will help you?

BTW, my second outing involved going to an Irish pub while a soccer match was on, in Tulsa OK. My guess is you are in a whole lot safer space than I was in.

Just be brave, you'll be OK honey. I promise.

[samantha rogers]

Oh, quit your bellyaching, sister, and just go have an awesome time....lol. You know you want to and you know you will have an amazing time. Haha
Full report with pics afterward!
Love you, gf!

[Stephanie Julianna]

You have to chill out. Embrace who you are. Your beautiful and a very caring person. You deserve a night out. Knock 'em dead.

[paulaprimo]

omg katey... "R E L A X"
you always look stunning and will look just fine no matter
what you wear. calm down and just enjoy yourself... you will
finally admit to yourself, "what was i so afraid of" have fun
and keep us posted! :)

[Robynts]

Katey, looking at your terrific avitar picture I have always figured that you are one of those girls that goes out all the time. To read this thread has taken me aback.

Girl, you are stunningly beautiful. Go a head and head out the door with your head held high, like you own the place, cuz you do!

[mykell]

:bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug:
:bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug::bighug:

:yrtw:

:hf:......

[Bria]

Katey, I remember the pictures you posted after your first outing, they were fantastic! Just do it again, and again, and again!!

As others have said, post pictures, please. And do have a good time!

Hugs, Bria

[Suzanne F]

Katey
Get out the door ! Have fun! The quicker you conquer these fears the quicker you can get to just being you. Rooting for you!
Suzanne

[justmetoo]

Good luck and have fun! Judging from your avatar I would think you would do fine, but I know looks aren't the only thing. Self-confidence is dependent on many factors. And judging by your posts I would think you have a great personality, but as a shy awkward introvert I know people can come across very differently in writing than in person. Just try to slow down, breathe, and enjoy life. Best wishes!

[Barbara Dugan]

You are a wonderful and pretty girl you will do more than fine:hugs:

[Jamie Christopher]

Katey you are awesome! Go have fun!

Jamie

[Eryn]

Katey - go!

If you don't like it you never have to go out again.

(I'll virtually guarantee that you'll like it! :))

[Christen]

Deep breaths and keep your shoulders back and head up! You'll be fine, you know you will. I have the WTF moments and I've barely left the house.
I just can't wait for the debrief.
There's a plan in place where Christen makes her debut in a two weeks time. I'm very sure I'll be having a huge WTF moment just before then.

Christen x

[Adriana Moretti]

good luck homegirl........those pre-game butterflies will go away and soon you will be a pro,.....you got this ......remember my pre-game willies ????.......we all get em......then we laugh at em later.......your golden......xoxo


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7R7q1lSZfs

[Nikkilovesdresses]

A ball at Woburn? I'd love the chance! You're definitely going to need a tiara.

Have a ball!!

[Sarah-RT]

"Climbing the mountain because it's there"

Reminds me of that JFK quote;

We choose to go to the moon. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win, and the others, too.

Hope that offers some inspiration!

[charlenesomeone]

Katey add my encouragement to the others. Yes I often doubt and wonder then after doing wonder why the doubt.
Just enjoy and have a good time. Smile lots.
Hugs

[Lynn Marie]

Of course, Katey, you wouldn't be over thinking all this, would you? Just imagine how much easier going out would be if you were out with friends, CD and otherwise. I've been going out weekly with girlfriends for years now and I never even give it a thought anymore. It's always the highlight of my week. Find and make friends.

[Marcelle]

Hi GF,

Late to the party . . . stupid work gets in the way of my forum time. I am assuming (no I know) your adventure out last night went well and you handled it with poise and grace. Tonight will be a repeat performance . . . just take a deep breath, think good thoughts and all will be fine.

Hugs

Isha.

[Pat]

I recognize the angst. Many (many) years ago, I flew helicopters for the Army. There's a phase of helicopter flight called "transitional lift" where the helicopter moves from hovering to forward flight. During transitional lift, there's turbulence and you just have to trust and ride it out. In my personal life I use the term when I'm transitioning from male me to female me. There's always a little turbulence and I just have to trust and ride it out.

(Edit: oh, yeah, why did I write this? The point was that by having a label - a term that describes the feeling -- it makes me feel more in control and allows me to see past the turbulence. I was just offering the label to you as a "magic feather" you can hold on to if it helps. ;) )

[CarlaWestin]

Oh Kate. You know better than that! As soon as you get dressed and do that one last approving look in the mirror, you'll be glad you didn't cancel. It's like calling in sick for work. About an hour before your normal quitting time, you start feeling guilty thinking, "Damn, I blew it!" Don't be that girl.
Have a good time.

[Katey888]

Phew! Finally got my WiFi coverage back...

Minor update to this thread - thanks for all your thoughts and comments, of course it helps to know how everyone in this great community is here with their support when you need it. :) In fact Friday was a washout thanks to having to remotely manage a domestic issue and spend part of the evening poring over spreadsheets, :facepalm: but I did get some relaxed prep time, which was sorely needed! I feel comfortable now I would have gone out but it was just too late.

Going back to my original feelings, the time did help me settle and build some confidence about getting the look right. It left me still uncertain over whether to be blonde or not so, but just getting the feeling again after seven weeks non-dressed was totally worth it! Nerves are just nerves and Saturday evening went really well with a few firsts accompanied by the inevitable hiccups, and I'll post the full story soon with plenty of pics - but just to give you a flavour... :)

At the ball... back in the hotel, tired but happy... and the heels that made it through the evening...

Thanks again for your support and encouragement... Katey x

[samantha rogers]

Yay!!! Way to go, girlfriend! You looked amazing (as always) and I know its a great time you had (still having?) So happy for you. Yay!!!

[Dana does shopping]

Love those shoes ... Love that Dress... they pale in comparison to that ... Smile!! How could You have misgivings .. I've maintained all along You have a beautiful natural look to You, Bravo Gurl!

[Stephanie Sometimes]

Congratulations Katey! You look fabulous and happy in these teaser pics, looking forward to seeing more of that fab dress and hearing how things were at the ball. Bet you had a great time and now it will be hard to keep Katey at home.
Hugs,
Stephanie

[AngelaYVR]

Looking forward to reading the full story!

[Closeted Kat]

you looked wonderful, looking forward to seeing the rest of the pics!
-kat

[Julie Denier]

Yay! Great pics - can't wait to see more and hear the full story ;)

[Bria]

I can't wait for the full report!!

Hugs, Bria

[justmetoo]

Cool heels, I like your nails, too, and love your smile! And a tantalizing glimpse of your dress...