News from a newbie

[Victoria Demeanor]

Hi I just needed to tell you all. I have two friends that I call my adopted kids. They are both 27, I meet them under different circumstances, but both of them have gravitated to me as a farther figure. I really do think of them as my kids and apparently so do other people. I do kid that ya they showed up at my door and I made the mistake of feeding them and now I can’t get rid of them. My adopted daughter is Lesbian and I knew she would understand. I came out to her by text during my first outing and she has totally embraced it. She and her girl friend have taken me out given me tips and compliments and have really been a great support. The topic though keeps coming up about my adopted son, who she calls brother. He really looks up to me; I actually presided over his marriage as I hope I can do with my daughter when she and our stupid state is ready. Well if you read my intro, I am still waiting to come out to my wife. She’s been out of town through my revelation so…….trying to build up the courage now.
Anyway today I went over to my son’s house to help him tile his bathroom. I really wanted to dress today and maybe go out tonight, but I was being selfish and he’s been asking. I knew he sensed something was up. I’ve been aloof and secretive lately and I know it’s been bothering him.
Today I told him and it went amazing. He was actually relieved, as he thought I was having an affair, but when he found out what was going on he was happy for me and offered his support.
So two lessons I learn:
1. Don’t hide things from your kids, they’ll think the worst.
2. I adopted some truly amassing wonderful kids.

[Sarah Doepner]

Good for you. It is good advice and I'm hoping that I have the same kind of support from my kids when that moment arrives. Enjoy.

[justmetoo]

Aw, that's great! Always makes me a little misty-eyed reading about comings out and acceptance and love and support. :)

[Michelle 78]

That's a great story good for you, good luck and hope it goes just as well with your wife.:)

[Teresa]

Victoria,
Telling my son is still open to debate , my wife and I think we risk losing too much as he has two young sons and we don't know how his wife will react !
The difficult part is he only lives ten minutes away and just drops in, he hasn't caught me yet but have had some close shaves ! To me it's got to be easier to tell him !

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Hi Victoria, lucky you to have these honorary kids to love and be loved by, and I'm happy for you that they accept Victoria, that's a fantastic bonus to your life.

Hugs, Nikki

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Victoria, Welcome to our forum, When you are here you are home.:daydreaming:
That's a very interesting story I hope that things work out for you with your wife.:hugs:

[Victoria Demeanor]

Teresa,
Believe me I more then understand. I actually have to make the decision with my own biological son, but he now lives several states away and has his own family now so I have time to ponder it. I will tell you though; I was 17 when my father transitioned. He hid it from me and never sat down and talked to me about it. Kids are nosy about their parents and I ended up figuring out on my own. She had talked to my sister and my sister was the one that ended up confirming it and trying to explain it. It really led to a very big rift between us for years and lifetime of confusion about my own situation which, I know now is different. I’m left wondering now if we had talked and she would have explained her feelings, if I could have come to terms with my own inner desires much earlier in life. I really could have rocked some sexy outfits in my 20’s.
I had the same problem as you with my adopted son. He’s gotten better now that he’s married, but he does unexpectedly walk in the door and he has his own key. It was one of these time when he stopped by, that he noticed a wine glass in the sink with a lipstick smug on it. It was so slight that I hadn’t considered it at the time. He never said anything until after I came out to him and part of what lead him to jump to conclusions. He loves my wife and I know he was concerned thinking that I was cheating own her. When you try to hide something from your kids they seem to always know and it can cause a lot of problems and I’ll feelings.
Please Teresa, know that I’m not trying to lecture you or tell you what to do, as I am far from perfect. I just wanted to tell you what my experiences have been. If you decide to tell him I would suggest talking to him alone and letting him decide whether to tell your daughter-in-law or not.
Sorry I’ve rambled on. What ever you decide I truly hope the best for you and know that you’re in my thoughts, but I can’t help thinking that if you two are close and you’ve had a few closes calls, that he is thinking something.
Love
Victoria ;)