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View Full Version : Big leap after many baby steps (my first time out)



minna_xxxx
02-02-2015, 10:57 AM
I would like to share with you my experience going out en femme the first time in my life last friday. I have been reading this forum for several years and I have learned lots. So maybe my experience can be give some encouragement to others.

I have cross-dressed since I was 14. There has been more and less active phases but all the time I have been in closet and never dared out to the real world as a woman. There are only a few persons that have seen me dressed-up in real life although I have shared my photos in internet.

During the last years I have had only few opportunities for dressing at home. My wife knows, but she does not like it. And as she is nowdays having less business trips and we have kids at home, there has been only a few times in a year for proper dressing. Going out has been a remote dream that I would like to realize "some day".

A few months ago I met in a discussion forum a guy who lives nearby and wanted to make some extra money by renting his apartment. He was very open minded, so we ended up to an arrangement that I can store my stuff in his apartment and use it while he is away. So no I have had opportinity to practice a few times in a month! I have been putting together the lessons learned from the past years and bought new clothes. I also invested for a high qualty wig, that has been one pre-requisite I have had for going out.

So last Thursday evening, after I had bought new boots (appropriate for local weather at the moment), I realized that I have now all stuff I need. I suddenly also realized thet the next day all stars would be in the right position: my friend was away, I was going to have free afternoon and I had everything I would need for going out. This is crazy, I thought. "Someday" would be tomorrow!

Friday afternoon I rushed to the apartment. Naturally it had been difficult to get sleep and I had thought in my mind what I would dress the next day. So it was quite easy to get myself ready. I decided to wear clothes that are female but do not draw any extra attention. High heel boots, under knee lenght grey skirt, black overcoat with fur collar (for making my shoulders look smaller) and red scarf. I also had short lenght wig and female glasses(just for completing the look as I don't need glasses). I watched myself from the mirror and I was quite happy with the results. My make-up skills sucks, but it will do, I decided. I really did not believe what I was going to do. I took a deep breath and checked the fifth time that I have keys in my handback. Here we go...

Going out from the door was not difficult. But I had to go down stairs three floors and just when I was almost down, I heard that someone is opening the front door. As I did not wat to meet any neighbours, I quickly changed my route and went for the back door. My heart was trembling because I was so nervous. I was out on the street and the street was empty. It was kind of relief and I got more relaxed. But on the other hand, I still had to wait for the ultimate test.

I started to walk towards the city center. There was a man walking on the other side of the street. He would be my moment of thruth. He looked at me briefly but did not start to stare. I did not know if he had clocked me or if it was just a typical male checking a woaman. "OK - this is going well", I assured to myself. I reached a more crowded street. Many persons just passed by without looking at me. Some males, mostly of my age or older, looked briefly at me. I started to gain more confidence. I passed also a few groups of teanagers. They did not notice me at all, which was a good sign.The only problem was that my feet start hurting because I was not used to walk long distances in high heels.

I had planned to walk through a subway station and a small shopping center and return to the apartment. As I realized that I blend in quite well and out of about hundred persons I had noticed only a few longer looks, I decided to go for a bigger shopping center. I got more relaxed and said to myself: "now, let's enjoy this!" I guess that my movements got more female swing because I stopped worrying. After that it seemed that practically nobody was paying any attention to me. Inside the shopping mall it was quite crowded and people just passed by. I decided to push even a bit further and go inside a shop.

For some reason, I felt that inside the shopping center I was blending in even better than in outside. Other customers were not paying me any attention when I was browsing clothes at women's section. Somehow I felt that I belong there - much more than when I have been browsing women's clothes in drab. However, I was so excited about the feeling of new freedom that I really could not concentrate on selecting the clothes. There was also queue for the fitting room, so I decided that trying on clothes would be too much for the first time out.

The city was the same but I saw it from a different perspective. It felt like being abroad, the first day in a country which culture and language you are not fully familiar with. I was not yet acting fluently in all situations, but I was not terrified either. But similarly to visiting foreign country which language I don't know well, I was a bit afraid to speak. I have practiced my female voice, but I have never used it in a real situation. So when I found a pair of leather gloves that I wanted to buy, I encountered a new challenge. Everything had went so smothly so far that I decided to push further one more time and boldly walked to the counter. "Hi! I would like to buy these." I said with the best girl voice that I could in that situation. I knew that it was not my best performance, but never mind. The SA did not even blink her eye but smiled and asked if I would buy also cotton gloves that are on special discount. Either the SA was super professional or I was passing! It really doesn't matter what the truth was, because she made me feel that I am accepted as a woman.

I was out an hour and a half but it felt like a full weekend. It is impossible to describe my "I did it" feeling when I returned to the apartment and closed the door behind me. In the end it was easier than I had thought and nothing bad happened. The only problem is that this seems to be very addicting and I can't wait the next time!

Isabella Ross
02-02-2015, 11:37 AM
Nice story, Minna. Thank you for sharing.

mykell
02-02-2015, 11:50 AM
hi minna,
i rather enjoyed your tale, so glad it went well and uneventful,
im on the cusp of getting there myself and found it encouraging,
thanks for sharing it with us....

Rachael Leigh
02-02-2015, 12:07 PM
I love the first time outing stories and yours is so nice, I really dont understand this need many here have to venture out but as one who has done it only a few times its amazing to see the world from that female point of view for sure.
So glad it work out so well for you.

Nikkilovesdresses
02-02-2015, 12:08 PM
Wow Minna- I felt like I was there with you, you described so well your feelings. I'm glad it worked out so happily :)

Nikki

Jamie Christopher
02-02-2015, 12:11 PM
Thanks for such a heartfelt read Minna; glad everything worked out well for you. Intoxicating, isn't it? Be well,

Jamie

AngelaYVR
02-02-2015, 12:16 PM
I can certainly relate to the feelings you experienced! That fresh view of things is part of the fun of going out.
Also, it is my opinion that the real reason that so many of us can go out without any trouble is not because we are all so amazingly passable but simply that fact that nobody cares!

Julie Denier
02-02-2015, 01:49 PM
Good for you! Thanks for sharing ;)

Jenniferathome
02-02-2015, 01:50 PM
Hi Minna, congratulations on getting out. I often write that the fear is only in our heads. I hope you will share this adventure with your wife. I am certain she will be curious about your experience.

SharonDenise
02-02-2015, 02:33 PM
Nice outing! I've been wanting to do an outing like yours, but haven't worked up the courage. All of my outings so far have been to meetings and affairs with my local cross dresser group that I recently joined or with my make-up artist/coach. I've gone dining with her twice now to a nice restaurant dressed en femme. They were delightful experiences.

charlenesomeone
02-02-2015, 05:37 PM
Minna way to go girl! Congrats and hope you are still on a high.
Keep smiling.
Hugs

Kandi Robbins
02-02-2015, 07:20 PM
Congratulations, great story! Nothing like that first time, I know I'll always remember mine.

ChristinaK
02-03-2015, 12:45 AM
Insightful, thoughtful post. Thank you. I like your description and how you felt as well as others reactions to your presence. Welcome to the club, you're hooked now.

Lynn Marie
02-03-2015, 01:26 AM
Good post Minna. Glad you got out. How do you like the gloves? If possible, find a friend or two to go out with. CD girlfriends are so much fun.

minna_xxxx
02-03-2015, 02:42 AM
Thanks for your nice comments :-) I would like to share two more observations I made after analyzing my experience:

Only after I went out I understood what was my biggest fear. It was that someone looks me as freak, with discust or laugh. luckily it did not happen this time and that's why I felt reliefed.

I can't believe that I passed as well as it looked like to me. Is there a "passable enough" phenomenon? If you look like that you are seriously trying to look like an ordinary woman, most people will treat you as a female?

Marcelle
02-03-2015, 06:49 AM
Hi Mina,

What a great first adventure out the door and you accomplished so much and have discovered the one truth about going out . . . people are either so busy with their own lives that they don't notice or if they do they have the good graces to keep their comments to themselves. Thanks for sharing and yes you are right . . . once out, it is addictive but it gets easier.

Hugs

Isha

CostaRicaRachel
02-03-2015, 07:52 AM
Wow, that is really great. I'm guessing you pass much better than you think.
I hope you keep having fun!

Marcie
02-03-2015, 08:49 AM
I love your story Minna and think you had a wonderful experience out for the first time. I will try do follow up, doing the same thing in the next week. I have all the time necessary, to prepare, as my wife is away on vacation, out of the country for the next month. Please wish me luck.
Marcie

minna_xxxx
02-03-2015, 09:11 AM
I love your story Minna and think you had a wonderful experience out for the first time. I will try do follow up, doing the same thing in the next week. I have all the time necessary, to prepare, as my wife is away on vacation, out of the country for the next month. Please wish me luck.
Marcie

I really hope you have as good experience as I had :-)

ophelia
02-03-2015, 09:26 AM
Thanks for your nice comments :-) I would like to share two more observations I made after analyzing my experience:

Only after I went out I understood what was my biggest fear. It was that someone looks me as freak, with discust or laugh. luckily it did not happen this time and that's why I felt reliefed.

I can't believe that I passed as well as it looked like to me. Is there a "passable enough" phenomenon? If you look like that you are seriously trying to look like an ordinary woman, most people will treat you as a female?

I don't think that we can ever relax and have 100% passing. It only takes one out-of-touch bigot to cause real physical and emotional harm. Know where you're going in advance. Make the trip en drab. Know where the loos are. Know where to park. Visit online with google. Plan, plan , plan and then you can relax somewhat.
Dressing can be the best of times, but poorly planned it can be the absolute worst of times.

Katey888
02-03-2015, 12:54 PM
Nice experience Minna - thanks for sharing and helping to reassure others it need not be the trial some of us may think it would be. :)

Ophelia makes some really good points, though - a lot depends on where you are, time of day, relative security, etc. etc. We shouldn't ever become blasé or complacent... too many tragedies happen that way.

Katey x

Cheryl James
02-03-2015, 01:00 PM
What a great story. Thank you for sharing. It feels great to about your business comfortably. I still get nervous.

pamela7
02-03-2015, 01:11 PM
i guess there are also tall women, and women with hormone issues that create beard/stubble/adams apples ...

It's only since I CD'd that I even started to look at other people while out shopping ... perhaps no-one really is looking? especially now we're in the iphone age.

Katie: I'd like to know more about the dangers / things to look for - is there a thread on that?

xxx Pamela

Pat
02-03-2015, 01:27 PM
excellent! Sounds like you had one of the best first-time-out experiences possible! And, yes, it's addicting. But not in a bad way. ;)

joandher
02-03-2015, 05:03 PM
What are you going to tell your wife when she see,s the big grin on your face ??
great story well done

Love

Fortuneta
02-03-2015, 05:28 PM
Very nice story with a great ending. You have the best of all worlds with that arrangement. Congrats on the courage to stay out that long and best wishes for added times.
Fortuneta

minna_xxxx
02-04-2015, 08:49 AM
Ophelia makes some really good points, though - a lot depends on where you are, time of day, relative security, etc. etc. We shouldn't ever become blasé or complacent... too many tragedies happen that way.


I have noticed in this forum that many girls have gone out the first time during night time and in places where only few persons can see them. I understand that this is quite natural behaviour, but not necessarily the safest one. I choose opposite approach and went out daytime on a weekday in a busy city center. I thought that during that time there is less drunken persons and jerks around. And that was a good choise. And I also noticed that crowd is a good discuise. There are more eyes, but nobody looks you as closely as in case you are the only person on the street.

minna_xxxx
02-04-2015, 08:53 AM
And, yes, it's addicting. But not in a bad way. ;)

Pink fog alert is on :-)