minna_xxxx
02-02-2015, 10:57 AM
I would like to share with you my experience going out en femme the first time in my life last friday. I have been reading this forum for several years and I have learned lots. So maybe my experience can be give some encouragement to others.
I have cross-dressed since I was 14. There has been more and less active phases but all the time I have been in closet and never dared out to the real world as a woman. There are only a few persons that have seen me dressed-up in real life although I have shared my photos in internet.
During the last years I have had only few opportunities for dressing at home. My wife knows, but she does not like it. And as she is nowdays having less business trips and we have kids at home, there has been only a few times in a year for proper dressing. Going out has been a remote dream that I would like to realize "some day".
A few months ago I met in a discussion forum a guy who lives nearby and wanted to make some extra money by renting his apartment. He was very open minded, so we ended up to an arrangement that I can store my stuff in his apartment and use it while he is away. So no I have had opportinity to practice a few times in a month! I have been putting together the lessons learned from the past years and bought new clothes. I also invested for a high qualty wig, that has been one pre-requisite I have had for going out.
So last Thursday evening, after I had bought new boots (appropriate for local weather at the moment), I realized that I have now all stuff I need. I suddenly also realized thet the next day all stars would be in the right position: my friend was away, I was going to have free afternoon and I had everything I would need for going out. This is crazy, I thought. "Someday" would be tomorrow!
Friday afternoon I rushed to the apartment. Naturally it had been difficult to get sleep and I had thought in my mind what I would dress the next day. So it was quite easy to get myself ready. I decided to wear clothes that are female but do not draw any extra attention. High heel boots, under knee lenght grey skirt, black overcoat with fur collar (for making my shoulders look smaller) and red scarf. I also had short lenght wig and female glasses(just for completing the look as I don't need glasses). I watched myself from the mirror and I was quite happy with the results. My make-up skills sucks, but it will do, I decided. I really did not believe what I was going to do. I took a deep breath and checked the fifth time that I have keys in my handback. Here we go...
Going out from the door was not difficult. But I had to go down stairs three floors and just when I was almost down, I heard that someone is opening the front door. As I did not wat to meet any neighbours, I quickly changed my route and went for the back door. My heart was trembling because I was so nervous. I was out on the street and the street was empty. It was kind of relief and I got more relaxed. But on the other hand, I still had to wait for the ultimate test.
I started to walk towards the city center. There was a man walking on the other side of the street. He would be my moment of thruth. He looked at me briefly but did not start to stare. I did not know if he had clocked me or if it was just a typical male checking a woaman. "OK - this is going well", I assured to myself. I reached a more crowded street. Many persons just passed by without looking at me. Some males, mostly of my age or older, looked briefly at me. I started to gain more confidence. I passed also a few groups of teanagers. They did not notice me at all, which was a good sign.The only problem was that my feet start hurting because I was not used to walk long distances in high heels.
I had planned to walk through a subway station and a small shopping center and return to the apartment. As I realized that I blend in quite well and out of about hundred persons I had noticed only a few longer looks, I decided to go for a bigger shopping center. I got more relaxed and said to myself: "now, let's enjoy this!" I guess that my movements got more female swing because I stopped worrying. After that it seemed that practically nobody was paying any attention to me. Inside the shopping mall it was quite crowded and people just passed by. I decided to push even a bit further and go inside a shop.
For some reason, I felt that inside the shopping center I was blending in even better than in outside. Other customers were not paying me any attention when I was browsing clothes at women's section. Somehow I felt that I belong there - much more than when I have been browsing women's clothes in drab. However, I was so excited about the feeling of new freedom that I really could not concentrate on selecting the clothes. There was also queue for the fitting room, so I decided that trying on clothes would be too much for the first time out.
The city was the same but I saw it from a different perspective. It felt like being abroad, the first day in a country which culture and language you are not fully familiar with. I was not yet acting fluently in all situations, but I was not terrified either. But similarly to visiting foreign country which language I don't know well, I was a bit afraid to speak. I have practiced my female voice, but I have never used it in a real situation. So when I found a pair of leather gloves that I wanted to buy, I encountered a new challenge. Everything had went so smothly so far that I decided to push further one more time and boldly walked to the counter. "Hi! I would like to buy these." I said with the best girl voice that I could in that situation. I knew that it was not my best performance, but never mind. The SA did not even blink her eye but smiled and asked if I would buy also cotton gloves that are on special discount. Either the SA was super professional or I was passing! It really doesn't matter what the truth was, because she made me feel that I am accepted as a woman.
I was out an hour and a half but it felt like a full weekend. It is impossible to describe my "I did it" feeling when I returned to the apartment and closed the door behind me. In the end it was easier than I had thought and nothing bad happened. The only problem is that this seems to be very addicting and I can't wait the next time!
I have cross-dressed since I was 14. There has been more and less active phases but all the time I have been in closet and never dared out to the real world as a woman. There are only a few persons that have seen me dressed-up in real life although I have shared my photos in internet.
During the last years I have had only few opportunities for dressing at home. My wife knows, but she does not like it. And as she is nowdays having less business trips and we have kids at home, there has been only a few times in a year for proper dressing. Going out has been a remote dream that I would like to realize "some day".
A few months ago I met in a discussion forum a guy who lives nearby and wanted to make some extra money by renting his apartment. He was very open minded, so we ended up to an arrangement that I can store my stuff in his apartment and use it while he is away. So no I have had opportinity to practice a few times in a month! I have been putting together the lessons learned from the past years and bought new clothes. I also invested for a high qualty wig, that has been one pre-requisite I have had for going out.
So last Thursday evening, after I had bought new boots (appropriate for local weather at the moment), I realized that I have now all stuff I need. I suddenly also realized thet the next day all stars would be in the right position: my friend was away, I was going to have free afternoon and I had everything I would need for going out. This is crazy, I thought. "Someday" would be tomorrow!
Friday afternoon I rushed to the apartment. Naturally it had been difficult to get sleep and I had thought in my mind what I would dress the next day. So it was quite easy to get myself ready. I decided to wear clothes that are female but do not draw any extra attention. High heel boots, under knee lenght grey skirt, black overcoat with fur collar (for making my shoulders look smaller) and red scarf. I also had short lenght wig and female glasses(just for completing the look as I don't need glasses). I watched myself from the mirror and I was quite happy with the results. My make-up skills sucks, but it will do, I decided. I really did not believe what I was going to do. I took a deep breath and checked the fifth time that I have keys in my handback. Here we go...
Going out from the door was not difficult. But I had to go down stairs three floors and just when I was almost down, I heard that someone is opening the front door. As I did not wat to meet any neighbours, I quickly changed my route and went for the back door. My heart was trembling because I was so nervous. I was out on the street and the street was empty. It was kind of relief and I got more relaxed. But on the other hand, I still had to wait for the ultimate test.
I started to walk towards the city center. There was a man walking on the other side of the street. He would be my moment of thruth. He looked at me briefly but did not start to stare. I did not know if he had clocked me or if it was just a typical male checking a woaman. "OK - this is going well", I assured to myself. I reached a more crowded street. Many persons just passed by without looking at me. Some males, mostly of my age or older, looked briefly at me. I started to gain more confidence. I passed also a few groups of teanagers. They did not notice me at all, which was a good sign.The only problem was that my feet start hurting because I was not used to walk long distances in high heels.
I had planned to walk through a subway station and a small shopping center and return to the apartment. As I realized that I blend in quite well and out of about hundred persons I had noticed only a few longer looks, I decided to go for a bigger shopping center. I got more relaxed and said to myself: "now, let's enjoy this!" I guess that my movements got more female swing because I stopped worrying. After that it seemed that practically nobody was paying any attention to me. Inside the shopping mall it was quite crowded and people just passed by. I decided to push even a bit further and go inside a shop.
For some reason, I felt that inside the shopping center I was blending in even better than in outside. Other customers were not paying me any attention when I was browsing clothes at women's section. Somehow I felt that I belong there - much more than when I have been browsing women's clothes in drab. However, I was so excited about the feeling of new freedom that I really could not concentrate on selecting the clothes. There was also queue for the fitting room, so I decided that trying on clothes would be too much for the first time out.
The city was the same but I saw it from a different perspective. It felt like being abroad, the first day in a country which culture and language you are not fully familiar with. I was not yet acting fluently in all situations, but I was not terrified either. But similarly to visiting foreign country which language I don't know well, I was a bit afraid to speak. I have practiced my female voice, but I have never used it in a real situation. So when I found a pair of leather gloves that I wanted to buy, I encountered a new challenge. Everything had went so smothly so far that I decided to push further one more time and boldly walked to the counter. "Hi! I would like to buy these." I said with the best girl voice that I could in that situation. I knew that it was not my best performance, but never mind. The SA did not even blink her eye but smiled and asked if I would buy also cotton gloves that are on special discount. Either the SA was super professional or I was passing! It really doesn't matter what the truth was, because she made me feel that I am accepted as a woman.
I was out an hour and a half but it felt like a full weekend. It is impossible to describe my "I did it" feeling when I returned to the apartment and closed the door behind me. In the end it was easier than I had thought and nothing bad happened. The only problem is that this seems to be very addicting and I can't wait the next time!