Kali
02-03-2015, 03:45 PM
My transition has been proceeding apace; no rush, taking things as they come. I’ve been living as a woman pretty much 24/7 for the last couple of years. My wife is supportive; we’ve been making retirement plans so that we can relocate and move on to different careers by 2020.
I’ve been self-employed for more than the last decade. Prior to that I had a very high profile in the technology world and went off on my own, trading on that profile and name recognition to establish myself as my own business. For the last few years my income has been somewhat irregular as the industry has changed, though even at its worse, more than adequate. The biggest problem has been the ACA, which has more than quintupled my health insurance costs, to the point where I am now paying close to $20K per year. This has put a crimp in our plans, as that I money that would have otherwise gone into savings and investments.
Last week, out of the blue, I was offered a very high-profile job in the industry where I built my reputation. The problem is my transitioning isn’t general knowledge. Not that I have hidden it, but just that I didn’t publicize it. And that complicates the issue, because a large part of the reason for the job offer (and its rather significant compensation) is because of who I am known as, not who I am living as.
The new job would require much more public interaction and I am being asked to take the job and handle that interaction as who they knew me as. Everyone who has talked to me has talked to that point; that the offer is based on my name and reputation from the past (I’ve kept a lower profile, but the name and image is still active in the industry).
It took me a long time to get to this point with myself, but I know that if necessary I could “pass” as my previous self. It was never part of my plans, but combined with their providing medical benefits, the additional income would be close to $100k per year. Being able to put that much aside for the next few years would mean more money to retire on, more money for potential surgeries which have been discussed (for example, the out of pocket cost of the BA I was planning on for the end of 2015), and an overall better standard of living.
I feel very torn at giving up (or delaying) this path that took me so long to find, but realize that much of the hard work has already been done, and that the detour can make our future life better. I haven’t made a decision yet, and will talk it out with my therapist at my regular appointment later this week; my wife is good with any choice I make. But I admit that having to go backwards isn’t appealing (my wife has pointed out how much a new wardrobe will cost, among other things), but when balanced against better financial security, I find the option hard to ignore.
Mainly just babbling here; not a lot people I can talk to about this in the real world.
I’ve been self-employed for more than the last decade. Prior to that I had a very high profile in the technology world and went off on my own, trading on that profile and name recognition to establish myself as my own business. For the last few years my income has been somewhat irregular as the industry has changed, though even at its worse, more than adequate. The biggest problem has been the ACA, which has more than quintupled my health insurance costs, to the point where I am now paying close to $20K per year. This has put a crimp in our plans, as that I money that would have otherwise gone into savings and investments.
Last week, out of the blue, I was offered a very high-profile job in the industry where I built my reputation. The problem is my transitioning isn’t general knowledge. Not that I have hidden it, but just that I didn’t publicize it. And that complicates the issue, because a large part of the reason for the job offer (and its rather significant compensation) is because of who I am known as, not who I am living as.
The new job would require much more public interaction and I am being asked to take the job and handle that interaction as who they knew me as. Everyone who has talked to me has talked to that point; that the offer is based on my name and reputation from the past (I’ve kept a lower profile, but the name and image is still active in the industry).
It took me a long time to get to this point with myself, but I know that if necessary I could “pass” as my previous self. It was never part of my plans, but combined with their providing medical benefits, the additional income would be close to $100k per year. Being able to put that much aside for the next few years would mean more money to retire on, more money for potential surgeries which have been discussed (for example, the out of pocket cost of the BA I was planning on for the end of 2015), and an overall better standard of living.
I feel very torn at giving up (or delaying) this path that took me so long to find, but realize that much of the hard work has already been done, and that the detour can make our future life better. I haven’t made a decision yet, and will talk it out with my therapist at my regular appointment later this week; my wife is good with any choice I make. But I admit that having to go backwards isn’t appealing (my wife has pointed out how much a new wardrobe will cost, among other things), but when balanced against better financial security, I find the option hard to ignore.
Mainly just babbling here; not a lot people I can talk to about this in the real world.