In many ways our lives are fuller

[Leighcdmd]

Have you ever considered how much fuller our lives may be since we are crossdressers. For example, the average male hardly gives a thought to what is in his underwear drawer or what kind of boxers or briefs he will put on in the morning. CDs, on the other hand, and for the most part, derive considerable pleasure from their panty collection and revel in the texture and feel of silky undergarments against their skin. Ditto sleepwear. Most males jump into bed in their underwear without giving it another thought. Many CDs however, at least those with understanding spouses/partners, have an assortment of lingerie to sleep in which makes the simple act of getting ready for bed something special. Many of us enjoy both masculine and feminine pursuits, whereas most males operate solely in the masculine world. Although, throughout my life, my crossdressing has sometimes made me feel different in a not so positive sense, I have reached a point in my life where I have accepted it as a gift. Part of this may be due to the fact that, after many years, my wife has shown a greater level of understanding and acceptance. Perhaps that is why I now find myself thinking how lucky I am to be a CD and how much I love the fun of dressing. Any of you feeling the same?

[Jenniferathome]

No Leigh, I think this is something a cross dresser says to help deal with the admission that they are a cross dresser. Our lives are no more, or less, full for this.

[AngelaYVR]

Any number of hobbies and endeavours could be said to accomplish the same thing. Appreciation of underwear can't really be thought of as life enriching. Fun, yes. Profound...not really. :)

[lynda]

hi, i just dont think fuller is the right word , its made my life way more compacated. hugs lynda

[Danitgirl1]

I think that accepting my crossdressing and transgender nature has made me more empathetic.
It has also opened my eyes more fully to some of the stuff women have to put up with on a daily basis.
I am more understanding of my wife and children, I think I am more sensitive.
That is not to say I was not any of these things before, but the lived experience (even if on a very small scale and for a short period) makes you more attuned.
I believe that I am also more aware of how repressed many men are, how narrowly they define their personality, their sexuality and themselves.
Whether that is a 'fuller' life, or not I suppose is up to the individual to answer. But it is different.
:2c:

[Marcelle]

Hi Leigh,

While we can all certainly derive a much fuller existence/life based on the things we do, I believe it is different for each. When it comes to CDing those who derive pleasure from and engage in specific aspects of dressing (e.g., undies, lingerie) are going to feel fuller based on feeling good. In essence if you are going to feel good about something, it will enrich your life because it makes you happy. For me, it is not about the clothes it is about being complete for the first time in a long time and that makes me a happier person, which in turn makes me a better person and able to lead a more complete and fuller existence.



No Leigh, I think this is something a cross dresser says to help deal with the admission that they are a cross dresser. Our lives are no more, or less, full for this.

Sorry Jenn I can't agree on this as it sounds way too dour like CDing is nothing to be proud about or embrace. If you do something which makes you happy irrespective of if it is your "panty collection" or "training hard for a bike race", the end result is a more rounded person whose life feels a little bit more enriched because they are doing something the like. Embracing who you are and accepting that does make you a fuller person.

Hugs

Isha

[Susi]

I think there isn't a contradiction between "fuller" and "more complicated": my life is more complicated, right, but I think it's also fuller, because I live experiences and emotions that I'd not live without crossddressing. Feeling the feminine part of myself gives me a new and enriching point of view in many occasions. However, to get to this point I had to make a long journey of self-acceptance.

[Donnagirl]

I must admit that I think my life is better as a result, and I don't mean in a softer undies manner.. I've lost 40lbs, I'm eating better including more salads and less junk food, drinking far less, exercising including running again, taking better care of my health, better care of my skin, better care of my nails and the list goes on.

On a less self indulgent note I'm far less moody, far more tolerant, more emotional, I care more about upsetting others feelings, more romantic and more sympathetic. I hug now, I'm more social and sociable and I have more friends.

My life is fuller, it's taken a battle of acceptance (a campaign I'm still waging) but I'm far better husband, father, manager, colleague, employee... a far better person all round.

Yes this 'condition' has its negative elements, but I'm coming to the realisation that these are surpassed by the positives.

Jennifer, I'm sorry, I do not agree that these feelings and character improvements are merely a mechanism employed to justify, to explain the fact that I really enjoy 'frocking up'.

[Leighcdmd]

I think I could have picked a better term than "fuller", perhaps it sounds a bit grandiose. The point I was trying to make is that crossdressing affords many of us the opportunity to find joy in otherwise trivial things. Sure, has it made my life far more complicated? Of course! but, like Donna, it has also made me more sensitive (I would argue) and a more "centered" person. If given the choice between being a crossdresser or being someone who has never felt these urges, I can honestly say I wouldn't change a thing....notwithstanding the many occasions it has complicated my life.

[Katey888]

Leigh - YES, in a word... :)

Even in my partially closeted world, I have found an outlet for... something... that could not be expressed by art classes, golf, carpentry, or business presentations and a black belt in Powerpoint.. :eek: I might, however, draw the line at thinking myself 'lucky'... It just is, what it is... and like any innate attributes, we all just have to make the best of what we're gifted or burdened with.


No Leigh, I think this is something a cross dresser says to help deal with the admission that they are a cross dresser. Our lives are no more, or less, full for this.

OUCH! An admission...? Like we should be guilty of something...? Hmmm... :thinking: I think this is both harsh and dismissive of those who suffer more pressure from GD than others. While we may not be different people for having this quirk - the fact that we have self-acceptance and we have allowed ourselves to express this part of us, surely that makes us fuller and richer than if it remained repressed..? I expect that's really what you meant... ;)

Katey x

[Kate's at home]

Leigh, good for you. Yes, perspective changes with point of view. As does time in that position. I think Isha is hinting ay this. Things change over time. Acceptance is the key "they" say. And I hope I never stop enjoying the sensual aspects of dressing.

Kate

[Krisi]

Our live are different because we are crossdresser but I don't think they are fuller. Probably just the opposite because many of us turn down opportunities to do other things in order to crossdress.

[GretchenJ]

No Leigh, I think this is something a cross dresser says to help deal with the admission that they are a cross dresser. Our lives are no more, or less, full for this.

To me Jenn is wrong on this statement, but to her she is correct.
To to most questions that are asked on an emotional level, this all ties to the original question asked many times ,

Do you consider yourself a CD or TG?

For those that consider themselves only a CD, I don't think the OP statement holds water. For those who have some aspects of TG in their genetic makeup, who use the time out to tap into something that is placed deep in their personality closet due to social norms, and get the opportunity to experience it when dressed, like myself, I do feel that my life is fuller

Just my .02

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Leigh, It's like I always say, "This is having the best of both worlds" :daydreaming:.

[CarlaWestin]

Hi Leigh, I fully agree with you. I sometimes feel like the most fortunate being in the world because I get to enjoy two fabulous entities. And one always compliments the other.

[Gardener]

Leigh, well put. I very much agree but many may consider us fortunate. The degree to which any of us is able to be open will vary for all sorts of reasons. For me I am pleased to be able to say things like "well dear if they did that dress in my size I would love to wear it, so if you like it, have it and enjoy." To be able to be honest is such a relief.

[NicoleScott]

Can't buy it, and here's why:
If our lives are fuller because we crossdress, we must ask "fuller than what?" Fuller than non-crossdressers lives? Not hardly. We may experience a different aspect of life than those who don't crossdress, much as the hunter who spends a lot of time in the woods has different experiences than those who don't. Different doesn't mean better. Contemplating the contents of an underwear drawer is way over-rated.

[Teresa]

Leigh,
I will have to agree with you, my CDing now is giving and replacing something missing in my life and that is down to a lack of understanding and acceptance !
To fully makeup and dress is a wonderful experience that doesn't happen very often ! Now I'm comfortable with it I would hate to live without it !

[CONSUELO]

I don't think that living a fuller life correlates with the contents of one's underwear drawer. Descriptions of a fuller life must include philosophical and social dimensions.
As cross dressers, being able to fulfill ones cross dressing desires is certainly very pleasant and rewarding and yes. fuller in a narrow way but I don't think it leads to what most would think of as a "Fuller Life".

[Danielle_cder]

fuller in my bra lol

[carrie2014]

A lot of replys relate to how they feel about their Cross dressing. I was retired with no friends local to me, now that I cd other cd's locally are writing to get together boy or girl mode. found four new friends in the last two weeks that want to do other things together. A whole new life for me.

[Jenniferathome]

...OUCH! An admission...? Like we should be guilty of something...? Hmmm......

To Admit: to allow or concede as valid.

No, I did not infer anything about guilt. We can read the theme of "admission" on a constant basis in the threads here. By the way, if one has a more full life by being a cross dresser, then those who are not cross dressers, by definition, have a less full life. That does't seem to make sense. In fact, if it were possible to ask 10 million non-cross dressers, you would find none of them would respond positively to the original premise. We all live our lives, they re as full as we choose to make them.

[Ressie]

My closet and drawers are fuller. Bursting at the seams!

[Lynn Marie]

Being somewhat of an "equal opportunity" flirt, I'd say that my life is considerably "fuller" than before when I was paralyzed with fear of being gay, etc. My only fear these days is that I'll grow too old to wear lovely heels!

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Oh dear Leigh, I'm going to have to disagree too, much as I'd love to think my life is yards better than a Muggle guy's. If I have a fuller life than some other random person's, that is more because I've been open to opportunities and I was raised to believe you should have a go at something before deciding you can't do it.

Among other stupid generalisations, I was convinced that men who watch American Football are somehow, how shall I put it...retarded. When I came here I quickly acquired great liking and respect for the intelligent, compassionate and witty closet-quarterback who dares to wear red opera gloves and calls herself Katey888. Again I see that I am an idiot, despite being a crossdresser :)

[carhill2mn]

My life would be sort of boring if I were not a CD.

[Isabella Ross]

We dress (or present as female) because we NEED to. Therefore, when we do, we feel more fulfilled. It's simple, really. Yield and accept the urge, and you feel better. Deny the urge and feel really unfulfilled. I came to the conclusion about six years ago that I am incredibly fortunate to have been blessed with what I clearly and unreservedly see as a gift.

[franlee]

I agree with the concept even though it is complex for many people. I know my life is much fuller from the experiences the CDig has afforded me. And yes it is a pain with the extra concerns for privacy. I know if it were not for CDing the days I spend now would be quit bland and uneventful. The dressing I do is great and not nearly what I wish for. But I can't imagine how bored I'd be without my memories and the vicarious sensations I gain from reading here. People that have a very active CD life may take it for granted or simply see the 1/2 full glass. I don't know but I can attest to my life would not be near as enjoyable without it, now or back when I could get out and enjoy it like a lot of the younger and healthy can and do. I sure wish that I still had all the pictures I had. A large part of my life was lost when I had to purge those memories in print. In your later years you see things different then you do when tomorrow is just another day.

[AllieSF]

One's life can be fuller without comparing it to someone else's life. Because I exercise I am healthier. That statement does not necessarily and, in general, does not automatically indicate that I am healthier than someone else. It is usually interpreted by others as meaning that I am healthier than I was before I started to exercise, or healthier than if I didn't exercise. So, if someone is crossdressing and they find themselves with a specific focus that they did not have before, they are doing interesting and fun things because of it, than why is that not an indication that they are living a fuller life because of it?

In my particular situation, I have always enjoyed plays and museums, but hardly ever made an effort to enjoy them on a more regular basis. Now that I am CDing, and going out all the time, I make it a point to include those specific activities in my life. It fills up my calendar, it fulfills my desires to have fun, get some additional culture in the arts and is good for me. Is that not fulfilling??

[pamela7]

Hi Leigh,

Personally, yes, my life is fuller/richer, a wider expression of my being, less time now on man-things, more balance. Sure this will change as needs arise, but I really do feel my life is fuller. People say I listen better for example, enriching relationships as a result.

xxx Pamela

[Marcelle]

To Admit: to allow or concede as valid.

... By the way, if one has a more full life by being a cross dresser, then those who are not cross dressers, by definition, have a less full life. That does't seem to make sense. In fact, if it were possible to ask 10 million non-cross dressers, you would find none of them would respond positively to the original premise. We all live our lives, they re as full as we choose to make them.

Jenn,

I don't think the OP was stating that in comparison to the world writ large cross dressers lead a fuller life. Feeling fulfilled in ones life (i.e., leading a fuller, richer and happier existence) is specific to the individual. My life is much fuller due to my embracing this side of me because it has led me out of the dark and into a much nicer place. Is my life more fulfilled than yours, a non CDer or Justin Beiber? I can't say. However I believe the OP indicated "her life" was much fuller and she was wondering if others felt that way. So to lump all CDers into one category of only using it as a way to deal with the admission of being a cross dresser is something that may apply to you personally but you cannot get into the heads of others and say the same.

Isha

[Danitgirl1]

It is very interesting how different people are seeing this 'fuller life' issue.
Some of us immediately default to a comparative (competitive?) view as in 'my life as a crossdresser is fuller/not fuller than the life of a non crossdresser', vs the more reflective and internal view that says 'since I have become a crossdresser/accepted my crossdressing, my life is fuller than it was when I was in denial'...
I am not sure if this means anything, but it is interesting how people can interpret things differently.
:2c:

[Leighcdmd]

Wow! I am truly surprised that my initial post would engender(pun intended) so many responses or that they would display such a level of introspection and feeling. I thank all of you for that. The catalyst for my initial observation was the simple realization that I was fortunate in that the simple act of slipping on my underwear had an added dimension.....a pleasurable one at that....and one that, even after many decades, has not lost its intensity. I believe that, once one comes to terms with one's dressing, that it can really be felt to be a blessing.

[NicoleScott]

When questions are vague, replies will be all over the place. When you use a comparative (fuller), complete it with "than..."
Are you smarter?.......than a squirrel....than a fifth-grader?
Given that I have the drive to crossdress, yes I would say my life is fuller than if I didn't crossdress, but if I didn't have the drive, no. Fulfillment would come elsewhere.

[kimdl93]

If theres an enrichment of ones life as a CDr, it comes with the ability to accept oneself. You've mentioned that in your post. I think you'll find that as time goes on the focus on trappings of clothing - textures and styles will diminish with routine. That doesn't mean you'll lose interest in CDing, but rather that you'll be more into the experience of expressing this part of yourself.

I had one other thought about enriching life. Forgive me for waxing philosophically, but life is enriched by relationships, experiences and I suppose, to some extent by a sense of achievement and contribution.

[BillieAnneJean]

I crossdress because it is fun. I am not driven to it or driven to do it. Just setting the tone, not passing judgement or an opinion.

I find that my life is fuller right now because my SO finally gets it. I am not gay, I don't want to transition, I don't want to 24/7. Not passing any opinion, just setting the tone. And her getting it, that we are and always will be the we she knew, makes me full of joy. Because she is more important than anything.

My life is fuller also because I am a CDer who knows that transitioning is available and that I have a choice. And as a CDer I get to experience some percentage of the feminine experience whenever I choose (and work, life, the roof leaks, the car needs fixing......life.....permits). So I feel like I am a man now because I can CHOOSE my gender. And my choice purely as a personal preference is male and I can see absolutely no way that is ever going to change. I respect and admire those who are transitioning or have done so. Again this is in no way a judgement.

So yes my life is much fuller now than before. I have had some experiences that I never even thought about (CDing and going OUT in public), I have a choice of gender and am happy with where I am whereas before I accepted it as the only way, without choice, without thought that it could be any other way. I did not even know CDing to blend in even existed.

It is like living where the ice cream shops have only butter pecan. Now I like butter pecan a lot. But imagine that person going to a place where the ice cream shops have all the favors. I may not choose to give up my butter pecan but it is nice to look at the variety, nice to have the option. Now and then I will try a different flavor. Not all of them because some I already know I will not like. But I will tend go back to my butter pecan but happier with it because I have tasted others. And the store with the many flavors makes a fuller experience.

I love CDing because it is fun, creative, an escape from the male world, and for me a choice. It makes my life as a man fuller because of the experiences.