CDing Progress Chart

[nikki2014]

I thought of this the other day. If there was a CDing progress chart or something similar to a growth chart what would it consist of? As a young child you can't just put on a suit and tie and expect to take on the world. It takes steps and progress, you have to learn how to wear a suit and how to tie a tie. Well you can't just throw on a dress and heels and expect to take on the world either. I see so many post on how CDer's are scared to death the first time they go out. What steps would you do to get to that point to be comfortable? What are the beginning steps, does that consist of walking in a pair of women's shoes comfortably? What would be the end goal, does that mean going out and being fully passable without no second guesses? We have to take steps to get there and what would those steps be? Of course everyone is different and progresses at their own speed but what does that progress look like? What are your thoughts? Nikki

[Rachael Leigh]

Im not sure how I would chart my own experiences but Im really a novice on going out compared to some, I would say Im very experienced in dressing and matching outfits, and that does come with trial and error for sure.
I do think you have to be able to practice at home or in private somewhere especially since most here dont have someone that can coach them.
Shopping for sure is trial and error, and for me once I got past the part of I dont care if they think the clothes are for me it was so much easier to shop and find clothes and makeup, and for me trying on the clothes is fun and really a must for me if I want them to fit and look right, and nearly all of my shopping is done in drab.
I know many are not comfortable shopping for womens clothes but as has been said many times here the SA doesnt care as long as they get a sale and besides you give them something to talk about lol.

[Amy Fakley]

Someone (I think jenniferathome? ) actually drew up a clever chart of this nature a while back, but dang it if I can find the thread now :-/

Of course, you know ... take it for what it's worth ... while we're all in the same genre, everyone sings their own tune, for sure.

For my part I think it looks somewhat logarithmic. Like this:

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Where the x-axis is a continuum, from completely closeted, neurotic mess on the left, to a fully realized female persona that can actually function in the real world without hiding behind a wall of faux masculinity, on the right.

The y-axis is time, from my birth at the bottom, to my death at the top. Where it crosses the x-axis and veers to the right ... that'd be the moment I finally accepted myself for who I was ... followed closely by the moment I came out to my wife.

At least, that seems to be how it's unfolding for me so far.

The thing that really worries my wife (and me), is the big question ... does this mean transition at some point? I honestly can't say whether some day, I will feel like I must convert my primary identity to Amy.

While certain aspects of taking that road would be very beneficial to me, it would also mean the complete destruction of the life I've built together with my wife and our children. I really just hope and pray that I never am backed into that corner where I need to transition. The cost would be enormous, and miserable.

In any case. I don't feel like I'm on a road to transition, presently. But I do feel like I'm on a road to balance ... and it feels really good :-)

[Jenniferathome]

Here is what I drew up.... http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?220111-Is-progression-inevitable-and-endless&highlight=

[DeeNile]

I used to think it was just a lingerie fetish. It has become so much more than that. Its my "cave." I NEED it. It has evolved into an entire wardrobe at times. I have nobody to help me with makeup. Plus, i usually dont have enough time to put on, let alone remove in a hurry. I would love nothing more than to go out and fully pass, but i lack the skills in that dept. Maybe some day... 😕

[pamela7]

The curve will depend on your own situation and responses. This is some basic physics to do with damping - under-damped oscillates highs and lows, over-damped never gets there, and critically damped is close to Jennifer's curve - a swing across far into the feminine and a rebalancing more neutrally.

If there are opposing forces, it only makes the swing stronger, the path harder.

The other curve relevant and fitting Jennifer's also the Kubler-Ross curve is response to bereavement - and really the SO may well be going through that process, and so might we, for its like a death of an old self and the birth of a new one?


xxx Pamela

[Nadine Spirit]

What would be the end goal, does that mean going out and being fully passable without no second guesses?

I have no idea what a chart would look like or what steps would be on it. But as far as end goals go, being fully passable with no second guesses is a pretty lofty goal that would only be achievable by very very few of us. And I do not think that any steps we might take would make that happen.

So for me that is not my end goal. My end goal, which I think I have achieved, is to be able to dress how I want with enough confidence that I don't care what others see or think about what I am doing.

[flatlander_48]

Where the x-axis is a continuum, from completely closeted, neurotic mess on the left, to a fully realized female persona that can actually function in the real world without hiding behind a wall of faux masculinity, on the right.

The y-axis is time, from my birth at the bottom, to my death at the top. Where it crosses the x-axis and veers to the right ... that'd be the moment I finally accepted myself for who I was ... followed closely by the moment I came out to my wife.


The way I would look at it is that the X-axis would represent where we are on the transgender scale: 0 being no mismatch between our physical and emotional selves and, let's say, 10 being a transexual with an all-encompassing mismatch between the physical and emotional.

For the Y-axis, the scale would also be 0 to 10. 0 would be completely male and 10 would be completely female. However, Y = 10 would conceptually be an asymtote. The curve would take a similar shape to the above, but start at (0,0).

There probably are few M>F transexuals who were raised as female. Therefore I would think that the vast majority of transexuals would be lacking the parts dealing with female socialization and being raised as female. In that sense, I suspect that M>F would eventually be very close because obviously they are learned, but not exactly 100% compared to genetic females. Anyway, the point is that it recognizes the impact of child rearing on us and the feedback we get from society at large.

[Kate Simmons]

Charting it? We all make our own progress at different rates with different skill sets like anything else. It has to be qualified rather than quantified.:)

[Jackie7]

seems to me you would have to graph several aspects of gender against time, and you might also have to graph several aspects of each aspect. A graph of intensity against time for each of biological/physical gender, gender presentation to the world, gender experience in family of origin, internal sense of gender as on the spectrum from M to F with neither/both or ambidextrous somewhere near the origin, and sexual preferences as in hetero gay bi poly and pan etc. None of these is binary nor linear, and "intensity" might not be the most interesting Y axis. Then you could overlay all of the graphs and create a totally meaningless though interesting picture that might be as individual as a fingerprint.

I think I will go shopping instead.
xxx

[Meghan4now]

Jackie, I think you hit the nail on the head. It is a complex multivariate equation. Maybe some weibull analysis? Of course I think I have a bi-modal distribution! .... Wait a minute aren't girls supposed to be bad at math? (Not in my experience, just joking)

[Katey888]

This is the closest I can find... there are a couple dozen CD/TG-types represented here - do you know which one you are? :D

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Feel free to add your own labels... LABELS!!! OMG! NOT LABELS AS WELL... :facepalm:

Katey x

[Tiffany Jane]

If I would chart my experiences and progress it would look like some form of a stock chart. Slow steady growth, with a few large spikes and drastic declines. Currently, still invested although future outcomes look better than the relative value of where things lie now.

[Lexi_83]

I had two GG friends that would sometimes go out with me, or help me before I went out if I went over to their place. This started with Halloween and then other times as well. They helped me selecting cosmetics and styling my wig and some shopping.

I'd get ready, they would then completely redo my makeup and change all my accessories. This was a big help as trying to go to a salon or anything would have been really expensive. Still don't feel very confident with makeup but I can put together a look by myself. They are Facebook friends now.

The biggest step for me was losing a lot of weight. I'd like to lose some more, you can't be too thin!

[AndreaSC]

The is BEAUTIFULLY said, Amy!

[nikki2014]

So many choices and directions to go. Sounds like we all progress at different rates as well as have different paths but yet we all have a lot of similarities. All beautifully said and I like them all.
Nikki

[Ally 2112]

i looked at Jennifers original graph and Katey 888's graph and they seem to both make sense to me i have been all over the place during my years as a cder .Yet at times im am very steady i do not force myself .If i do not feel like doing it i do not do it there is no sense .When i am in the mood i go the full 9 yards .It has taking me a long time to get to this point but i am enjoying it with no guilt . I may not be a girl but i am terrible at math :)

[lynda]

hi girls, my chart would show I went from complete denial, to being a women all the time, inbetween its been up an down , but now I like myself . love hugs lynda

[Claire Cook]

Take Amy's and Katey's, mix and match and I think you'd have it....