do you think

[lori m crawford]

do you think wen you tell ever body your a crossdresser is worst then saying your gay an why:)

[Jaymees22]

I think that's true, but gay people had a long struggle to gain acceptance and still have problems with some people. No one seems to understand crossdressing but another crossdresser. Most of us keep it a secret and don't feel confident enough to take it up as a cause. The internet helps but also hinders as a lot of sites show the wrong side of crossdressing. Hugs Jaymee

[Ally 2112]

Not to tick anyone off but i think gay people have more acceptance than crossdressers .I do think this a great move in our society and have nothing against it .My point is when will it be our turn ?

[Jessicajane]

Sexuality is important to people and yes some find it hard to accept diversity....but gender is at the core of everyone...of course most of the time people don't think about it just like you don't when you breath...its automatic, but when gender perception is challenged it has a much more dramatic impact on people and it can be harder for people to grasp and cope with...we are dealing with the most fundamental building blocks.....lets face it when you are born the first thing is boy or girl....it doesn't get anymore fundamental than that.

[BarbDriscoll]

I have some gay relatives. Based on how I hear them talk about crossdressers, no way am I coming out to them.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

I remember getting a cool reception from a gay circle because I mentioned I was bi. I think we're all just people, regardless of our sexuality or dressing habits. Some of us are judgmental a-holes, many of us are accepting of all-comers. CDing is viewed with suspicion by some gays, and some straights, because they just don't know what we are. The most important thing is to know who you are. Then go deal with the rest of humanity.

[Sarah Louise]

I think it's far easier for a gay person to come out than it is for a crossdresser.

In many ways, we both have similarities in that both desires are probably hard-wired in the brain when in the womb. Neither meets the perceived definition of what is normal. However, the gay community have fought long and hard to get acceptance whereas crossdressers tend to keep things hidden, telling very few people, if anyone. As a result, homosexuality is everywhere and crossdressing is seen by many as just weird.

Many on television and in movies are openly gay whereas I can probably count famous crossdressers on one hand. Often it's easy to spot gay people by their voice or mannerisms. Crossdressers less so. Another thing is many of us are terrified of our wives finding out as it could damage our marriages whereas most gay people aren't married and don't have this problem.

Unless we as a community become more open, then I suspect acceptance will come very slowly. However, I'm not volunteering any time soon!

[Marcelle]

Hi Lori,

I think it is so because witht the exception of the TS side of the spectrum who live mainstream a greater majority of the TG spectrum on the CD side live on the fringes and when one of us is seen in the wild it is a curiosity at best. The gay community writ large have fought long and hard for acceptance and for the most part live openly in the mainstream world. We are not there . . . yet.

Hugs

Isha

[DAVIDA]

Well, for me, one statement is the truth and the other would be a lie.:straightface:

[CarlaWestin]

Human nature just doesn't conform to diversity well. I do believe there is a growing culture of awareness but, not the total sea change in society as a whole. The derogatory words and descriptions of gayness are still bandied about by the testosterone afflicted groups. A coworker and I were discussing another who had crossed the line of authority into abuse directed at contract workers. My friend commented, "Well, you know, he's probably one of those MFer's that prances around with a little purse all weekend." I'm an expert at suppressing reactionary expressions. I was just thinking how little you can get in a small purse.

[sometimes_miss]

Not to tick anyone off but i think gay people have more acceptance than crossdressers .I do think this a great move in our society and have nothing against it .My point is when will it be our turn ?

I don't think that they're more accepted. They're just more accepted by people that might be attracted to them. We.....well, unless we are gay, have no one. There's precious few women in the world who are turned on by guys who crossdress, certainly not nearly enough for all the sort of straight crossdressers to ever hope to find a mate. I had this discussion with a gay acquaintance twice; and the reality is this: Gay people have social venues to find other gay people with hopes of finding a mate. We have no such option. There are no straight girl / crossdresser clubs, dating companies, web sites, nothing.

[Sarah Doepner]

Most of societies attitudes are shaped by mass media, while we modify our opinions with personal experience. Since most people don't have direct experience with crossdressers they rely on mass media. So what do they get? Drag queens, clowns and predators come to mind first. And the few positive examples are usually a precursor to someone going through transistion and are T.S. Part of the reason for this is people who are gender variant try to stay mostly in the shadows rather than breaking into the mainstream, as Gays and Lesbians have done. Until the "transgender revolution" actually includes the biggest portion of the trans community (crossdressers) people will be left with many myths and few facts about crossdressers. That makes it easier for gays to be out than crossdressers now. However, as has been pointed out, there was a time when being gay in public was a rare and dangerous thing. It took a lot of time and work to come to where society is now.

[Beverley Sims]

Lori,
Gay seems acceptable as people have grown to understand that.

Cross dressing?

Ugh!

The multitudes just don't understand and have not been mae familiar with the occupation.

[Stephanie47]

Cross dressers are really forced to the back of the bus. Without any doubt cross dressers are shunned, berated, etc. Nobody other than my wife knows I like to wear women's clothing on occasion. It will stay that way. In casual conversation I always hear from the most conservative folks that they do not understand gays and lesbians. They have come around and have accepted gays and lesbians are born that way. They accept the fact that a person mind may have been placed in the wrong body. Transsexuals, gays and lesbians get a pass. Yes, there are still many folks who are total bigots and act upon their bigotry.

Cross dressing? Well, that does not "compute." If society seems to accept the premise that gays, lesbians and transsexuals are born that way, why can't society accept I am born this way also. Believe me when I say it: I would rather have not been born this way! Life would have been a lot less stressful.

[anna36b]

Some friends of mine were just talking about this subject this weekend as a result of the Bruce Jenner news. Most of the comments were negative and somewhat offensive. I think its the general lack of understanding what a transgender person goes through in their life and all the things associated with it. People have a hard time wrapping their mind around it....the fact the you were born a male but started liking girls clothes (usually at an early age), then started dressing in womens lingerie (Heavens forbid you like soft silky lacey things like that!), then for some of us, dressing fully like a woman and going out dressed like a woman. The public needs more positive education on the subject and good examples.

[Nadine Spirit]

Yeah, I totally disagree with this thinking. It is easier from our viewpoint to point at someone else and say, "well they have it so much easier." Not true people! Yes the LGB community has worked hard for their current position in our society, but that has nothing to do with someone coming out as LGB. It is still just as uncomfortable to come out to your friends and family.

It does not matter how you are different, it is always difficult to loudly and proudly proclaim your differences.

[pamela7]

spot on Nadine,
I lived abroad, which is the same as being in a minority, so I blended into the local population.
Prey animals come out in herds, cos its safe that way. Both of these strategies are already used by our community.
I'm bold enough to not care, but I have to respect those affected, and the dangers of predators.
The path is well trodden for minorities - come out together, in groups, express, tell the story, let hollywood know, now with Jenner perhaps a proper film can be made?

[Pat]

I remember getting a cool reception from a gay circle because I mentioned I was bi.

Margaret Cho says the "B" in LGBT is silent. When the debate d'jour was whether homosexuality existed (or was just a ploy for attention) it was disheartening to have my gay friends claim bisexuality was a myth ("Bi now, gay later...") Sad and ironic.

That said, I think CD/TV society has benefitted from the gay struggle. A side-effect of the general public's inability to distinguish gay from CD is that as they come to accept gay, they get more tolerant of crossdressing. Of course the huge popularity of "tranny porn" has worked somewhat in our favor as well, since more people are aware that we exist, though they have a really skewed idea of what we are (Kinda like the difference between porn lesbians and real lesbians.)

All I can say for sure is that the state of acceptance today is better than it was when I first dressed (1950's) and I've seen the trend of acceptance growing all my life.

[Barbara Black]

I do believe that CDers are much more hidden than LGs, and are therefore less acceptable as well. I hope for more acceptance on all levels, and that it will make it easier to expose ourselves as well. I can see the comment, "Bi now, gay later" as acceptable to a lot of people as a matter of course. Not being either, I can't say much about it, but I can see the sloppy tendency to generalize like that, which somewhat also points to the higher acceptance of being outright gay rather than Bi or a crossdresser, even by the gay community.

[I Am Paula]

One of my girlfriends summed it up perfectly.

The G's hate the L's
The L's hate the G's
Nobody believes the B's exist.
Everybody hates the T's.