Ok so that was seriously uncomfortable...a worthwhile reminder to all

[Jessicajane]

.... It doesn't take much when you are out dressed to suddenly make you feel actually very vulnerable.....
I was running late to a catch up with girlfriends and arrived at my destination just after 9.30pm. As I approached the door way to the complex I noticed a middle aged man sitting outside the doorway typing on a laptop, he had a Mediterranean complexion and was speaking in a language I didn't recognise over a headset.. I automatically assumed he was a tenant enjoying the balmy evening air, as it was still early 30's and although dark was still pleasant to sit out in....
Arriving at the entrance I found the door was locked and I cursed as I had left my phone back in the car.....suddenly the man was up out of his seat and standing close to me , speaking in a broken English..
"you are very beautiful, pleased to meet you" he extended his hand to shake mine.....
I am not attracted to men but can't deny that I have always wondered what it would be like to attract the attention of a man when dressed , just in regards to feeling special and attractive....
This did not resemble any gentle and slightly romantic fantasy I had had...it felt uncomfortable and I found myself stammering something about letting me into the building still hoping he was a tenant
His voice was quiet and gentle but his body language and just the overall approach was creepy...I wondered if I should shout or run, but I did neither , instead finding myself rooted to the spot...almost unable to move through shock and a growing fear...
“you look amazing” he said extending his hand out to mine......still transfixed I found myself raising my hand to meet his more out of awkwardness of the situation and he took my hand and kissed it...
“may I kiss you?... I live close by, come with me and we will have some fun” were his next words....
That was it I was out of there...what had been uncomfortable was changing to a growing panic and I could hear myself saying “no I’m not like that” as I started to retreat still keeping him in my sight...
Quite what I would have done if things had gotten out of hand I do not know as I have never been an aggressive type and have never had to protect myself, I guess I would at least have a better chance of self preservation than the average genetic female, but gladly I did not have to test this...
He could see I was beating a rapid retreat and muttered something under his breath before returning to his seat and laptop once more...
I arrived back at the car , securing the door and placing the key in to the ignition before allowing myself to breath...I was visibly shaking and took a few moment before I could type a help txt to Kristyana and a one sentence explanation....she was at the door in next to no time.....
With the open door and the security of my friend standing there, I was able to enter ...he didn’t even look as I passed him, and I ushered Kris away from the door to prevent any further interaction with him.
On reflection did I handle the situation badly...probably.

yes I over reacted and for sure he would have known I was frightened...and I was.... I can honestly say I cannot recall feeling so vulnerable, standing alone in a quiet back street late at night dressed as a woman with a man making advances ....
I have never given a thought to my safety when out dressed before....but I will from now on!

Laughing about it with the girls afterwards...but it wasn't funny at the time
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/images/attach/jpg.gif

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Wow, what a creep. I'm glad the evening ended up positive. How amazing to get that insight into how a woman must feel being creeped on like that.

Good experience from several points of view- thanks for sharing.

Nikki

[kimdl93]

I don't understand how any male can be so presumptuous or so predatory! Glad you escaped any physical conflict. You do look very pretty, but that shouldn't ever be seen as justification for what he did!

[VictoriaBabes]

I'm glad you're safe and no confrontation occurred. These are the struggles that woman have had forever. It's a scary world out there and looking great can attract the wrong attention. Next time avoid the contact he could have easily grabbed you.

[Andy66]

Im glad youre okay. Sad to say, this sort of thing is not uncommon at all, which is why some women might seem a little paranoid. I have had it happen to me, both in male and female mode, and I have protected a few girls from these creeps too.

[Bria]

Thanks for the story, we need to be reminded from time to time that we need to be careful when out especially at night.

Hugs, Bria

[S. Lisa Smith]

That was pretty scary!!! Glad it worked out. He was correct about one thing, you looked lovely!!

[AmandaM]

Not only do guys think we are gay, they think we're loose. :(

[vicky_cd99_2]

I am sorry to hear you had such an encounter. I have now found the one thing that I am not jealous of of you girls who pass, blend or whatever description used, have to deal with. I have not had to deal with such because my size is intimidating even in drab. Girls be careful there are some absolute morons out there.

[Jamie Christopher]

Wow Jessica what a story. I must admit I've thought about it, what I might do, and it makes me nervous just wondering.... Glad everything worked out OK. Good food for thought ladies...

Jamie

[docrobbysherry]

It sounds like he acted like a gentleman, Jessica. U were lucky! Men r unpredictable when it comes to sex.

I've been in your situation before. Even tho the man that approached me was also polite and not forceful, I was terrified!:eek:

[Andy66]

I had a sort of awkward experience last weekend... I went to a bar where they had a drag show going on. I asked a lovely CD lady if I could buy her a drink. I had no evil motives, just thought it was awesome that she came out dressed. She reluctantly let me buy her one drink, but I spent the rest of the evening trying to tread the thin line between ignoring her and appearing TOO interested. :ft:

[Jenniferathome]

JessicaJane, I find the best response is with a VERY male voice, simply say "No thank you." This does two things: 1) tells him you are a man and 2) you can take care of yourself.

[Katey888]

Likewise, glad that you're OK Jessica... I suppose you have to take it as a compliment, although I do admit, the prospect of being accosted by a swarthy Mediterranean-type lothario might well have brought out the Maggie Thatcher in me and he would have been in no doubt as to my resolute lack of interest in his offer and lucky to escape a handbagging! :Angry3:

I think you did the right thing in a tactical withdrawal and calling up reinforcements... it was presumptuous at least and potentially worse than creepy - just another thing you have to be aware of at all times... :hugs:

You do look amazing too - he was right about that... Nice pic of the three of you... :)

Katey x

[Danitgirl1]

Hi JessicaJane
Fwiw, when I was the object of a man's attentions I too froze.
It is so disconcerting and unexpected.
You just don't react.
Well done in holding it together and getting out of there safely.
D
:hugs:

[justmetoo]

I have had a couple of awkward encounters. It's not something we expect to happen and can be very uncomfortable as well as disorienting when it does. And you don't know how you will handle it until it happens. I didn't handle either of my encounters especially well, but I survived intact and unharmed, just shaken. You did what you could, and I think getting away and then calling for help was a good move. Unfortunately, it's also true that GGs have to deal with this kind of thing all too often (hopefully they are taught how to deal with it through formal and/or informal means).

[5150 Girl]

Usually telling someone that I am spoken for is enough, and if it isn't I tell them I'm also a lesbian.
One time I had a guy insist on putting his arm around me. his first attempt, I politely brushed it off, second, I swatted it away, 3rd time, I sunk my nails into his arm and said "what part of lesbian do you not understand?"
Then there was the time some guy picked me up and carried me around and sat me on the bar. I hadn't had the chance to drop the "L bomb" yet, but when I did, he left me alone.

[AngelaYVR]

Yay, finally a benefit to being a taller CD! This was something I contemplated before I went out by myself for the first time. Like Jennifer said, a deep male voice would be my choice to respond with. I have not had to so far, the few advances I've had to deal with have gone fine. If you were ever in the Scouts you know to be prepared!

[Allisa]

If he was not or even was a tenant you should have called the police and reported a suspicious man hanging around and with all you girls there to testify about his behavior and let the police handle him.

[Jessicajane]

Lol Katey...yes there is a bit of Maggie in me I am sure, but my bag was only small and probably wouldn't have done enough damage...

Thanks for the comments girls, just took me by surprise how I felt and reacted, and has given me a little more of an insight into how women must when it happens to them.

[victoria76]

That is creepy! Glad you are ok.

[Vickie_CDTV]

Just remember, next time don't extent your hand and whatnot, he could have grabbed you etc.

[Caden Lane]

I recently decided to jump onto facebook as Caden. I was well received f=by the community, which felt awesome. However FB is rife with predatory men and picture collectors. Many are of middle eastern, Indian, and Russian decent. Some of the vile things they say are just astounding. They seem to all share some sort of mysoginistic hive mind. Sincee we dress as women, and take efforts to look sooooo good, that must mean we desire men. The concept we arent remotely interested in them is a foreign concept. They then feel obliged to get beligerent. Thats why men pretty much get put on my block list on sight. Even faster if they message me or try to friend me.

So far I have not encountered any pushy mysoginistic types in person. God help them if they decide to get physically pushy. Verbal I can just ignore, or call them on their ignorance. If they take it up a notch, so can I. I tend to carry means to protect myself, I also fight dirty as hell, and I didnt exactly spring my wrist doing my nails.

[flatlander_48]

Once again:

Truth IS Stranger Than Fiction...

[Launa]

I had a similar incident about 1 month ago. I was out on the town waiting for a bar to open so I could see a drag show. A guy approached me and said your cute as I walked by him outside the Casino I thought he was being a jerk but then he came up to me and said "I would like to do THIS with you and THAT with you and you're my type." I just looked him straight on and said no its not happening and I'm not your type.
It happens at times. Unfortunately not the first and won't be the last.

[Suzanne F]

I also had a similar experience and froze when confronted. I now would be much more assertive but everything was new then. Unfortunately it is part of being in the world as a woman. If we go out in the world as a woman we have to expect to encounter such men.
Suzanne

[SherriePall]

Being one who has only gone out during the daytime, I have had no situations like that. I mean, I have had doors opened for me and male drivers waving me on to cross in front of them. I do try to get my senses on the alert, but as a male I am kind of nonchalant about such things (maybe because I was raised in a small town years ago).
I'm glad you suffered no harm and may your story serve as a warning for us all.

["Gabriela"]

I can't imagine how I would react in such situation! Probably the male voice would be the best warning, unless the creep wants that too, wich would lead to the reaction you had, Jessica. Glad you're fine :)

[Krisi]

Well, that was uncomfortable and creepy but it seems this man was from another country and sometimes we don't understand cultural differences. What he said and did might have been the norm in the country he was raised it. I wouldn't be so quick to write him off as a total creep. He was out of line but no harm was done.

You handled it well and also got a lesson in how it feels to be a woman out alone after dark. A bit scary, wasn't it.

[sometimes_miss]

A lot of women go through this type of encounter on an almost daily basis; they learn how to pick up on the behavior that precedes the guy hitting on them, and pre-emtively do things to avoid the situation from escalating. I think most of us have had the experience of being in the company of a woman we'd like to approach, when she suddenly does something to either leave the area or remark something that makes it clear that they aren't interested in us. women have had lots of practice doing this when growing up; we haven't. Food for thought, how we should respond when that scenario comes up in our own lives.

[Caden Lane]

Well, that was uncomfortable and creepy but it seems this man was from another country and sometimes we don't understand cultural differences. What he said and did might have been the norm in the country he was raised it. I wouldn't be so quick to write him off as a total creep. He was out of line but no harm was done.

You handled it well and also got a lesson in how it feels to be a woman out alone after dark. A bit scary, wasn't it.

There is simply no room in ANY polite society for that sort of predatory mysogyny. He made very brash assumptions on her appearance of being a woman, and had no compunctions against making physical contact. He may have had carte blanche to do as he pleased in whatever country he lived in before here, but he lives here now, and he very well should learn to acclimate to our customs and civilized rules. I would no more want a daughter, sister or wife to be subjected to that sort of behaviour than I would want to be subjected to it. And being an apologist for his mysogyny only perpetuates the problem, and makes us look like we do not relate to the problems women face. It is hard to say, "I have a feminine aspect," while at the same time demonstrating we've no regard for women or their problems.

Ever & Always,
Caden Lane

[Krisi]

Seriously and realistically, there are many countries where men are viewed as superior to women and are entitled to make assumptions and comments to women that wouldn't be acceptable in the USA. You don't have to like it, but it's a fact.

[Lori Kurtz]

No, you did not overreact, and no, you did not handle the situation badly. You used good judgement, and you kept yourself safe. Good job.

[Genifer Teal]

I can sympathize with how you felt. I have learned how to take those situations, but there have been times i want to run. Unfortunately that is just how many men are and they think nothing of it. As you grow stronger, you will learn to block it out. Then some day you realize you've become the bitchy girl that ignored you back in the day. lol

[Beverley Sims]

I have always been overcautious about situations like these.
When dressed I do not take short cuts through back alleys in Chicago and New York at any time.

[Stephanie Julianna]

That's a scary story. I can see why he made the pass because you do look pretty but even in a "straight" situation that was very inappropriate and could have been worthy of a call to the police. I know you could not do that without exposing yourself. This is a good lesson to all the girls who venture out dressed. In our male mode we can almost go anywhere without looking over our shoulder. Welcome to a woman's world when you are dressed. You have to do more than just look good. Now you have to think like a real woman. Would she enter any situation like that alone? They prepare. They plan ahead. They instinctively know potentially dangerous situations. They grew up as girls and their mothers taught them well. Women are prey to some men. We all agree that these people are scum but they are still out there. In heels and a dress you are more vulnerable than you think. Many of us are not that big and could easily be overpowered by these jerks. I'm glad you came through this experience O.K. but start thinking like the pretty girl you are and stay safe.

[pamela7]

hello all,
Yes it is a scary story, and its only one man, and he did retire when declined. There are so many cultures and ways. Having once experienced being predated by a women - apparently this is becoming more common - its not only men, and sexually overt demographics are very open in their approaches, perhaps too direct for people of subtlety.

I don't know what kind of world each of us has grown up in, but as a man I've had to be very aware to escape dangerous scenarios. In terms of group attacks, there's no difference in one's ability to defend, nor one's awareness needed. I was going to visit a friend in London and he told me I'd never get in alive to his place, so we met centrally.

What I do know is that wearing heels makes me feel far more vulnerable than some solid walking boots!