Jennifer-GWN
02-07-2015, 02:06 PM
This post is about close friends and how they actually do know more than we think they do. As some of you know I started to transition in the fall last year. Living as a woman most of the time in my local area has been quite easy in part because I’m not well known. I often refer to myself as anomalous able to come and go relatively easily without the concern of being “caught”. Given my focus of work I have limited friends locally as well, however the new me is much more social than the old me. Most of my friends are through work and have grown significantly beyond the day to day work activities. A few have become pretty significant. As I continue my journey I’m increasingly but slowly closing in on my inner circle of friends and introducing me – the real me to them.
Last evening was one such event. One that I’ve really been so wanting to come out to for a very long time. We are very close, talk every day. My struggle has been needing a time where we are actually together, in person, as I felt this topic wasn’t something to just through on the table as part of our normal phone conversations. She’s the first close friend I’ve come out to and the first within my work environment.
OMG was I nervous. I’ve been warming her up to the fact that when we got together we’d be taking some quiet time to talk about something significant in my life. We went out for dinner together as we had a lot of catching up to do work related as we are driving our companies largest global internal conference this week so lots on our plate. After dinner I had her come back to my room for a drink (she put in her order several weeks back so that I could be prepared). We talked for bit; really just to get me to the point where I could actually open “this” conversation. I stuttered, I stumbled, as this was a first for me. Granted credit to many of you ladies here for being Sheppard’s on this topic and providing all the wonderful guidance and wisdom that you provide every day.
I did notice that she was being unusually quiet and patient with me as I stumbled along. She kept telling me to take my time and If I didn’t feel comfortable “getting it out” that it wasn’t a problem; whatever the news is will come whenever the time was right. I have to admit that I was quite teary eyed in the process (and quite teary eyed writing this today in reflection).
Long story short we had a pretty significant chat that went well into the evening and she was so supportive and accepting of me and my news.
Now comes the punch line…. After an hour of chatting she pulled out our smartphone and pulled up a note for me to read. I was a note she wrote to herself a few days ago. She very dedicated to her work and often quite consuming but there are times when she just stops and reflects on something. Well the something was “what could be the conversation we are going to have...”
Her note to herself simply said… XXX is going to tell me he’s transitioning and having SRS” Just one simple line with 11 words. You can imagine how surprised I was and that teary session suddenly launched into a short waterfall. Now mind you there have been some signs over the past couple of months but I was convinced that she hadn’t been putting 2+2 together and she admitted that she just had to stop and reflect on things a bit. I asked why she didn’t say anything and her response was “it wasn’t my place. I’m your friend and whatever is going on you’ll tell me when you’re ready”.
It is so nice to have close friends and in this case a big sister to talk to. She’s very important to me and I knew that going into the discussion. Coming out just reinforced how important she is and knowing that I have her on my side is such a comfort.
To all you transitioning girls. Find your friend, your close confident, it means so so much as we face the challenges that we do every day.
Cheers… Jennifer
Last evening was one such event. One that I’ve really been so wanting to come out to for a very long time. We are very close, talk every day. My struggle has been needing a time where we are actually together, in person, as I felt this topic wasn’t something to just through on the table as part of our normal phone conversations. She’s the first close friend I’ve come out to and the first within my work environment.
OMG was I nervous. I’ve been warming her up to the fact that when we got together we’d be taking some quiet time to talk about something significant in my life. We went out for dinner together as we had a lot of catching up to do work related as we are driving our companies largest global internal conference this week so lots on our plate. After dinner I had her come back to my room for a drink (she put in her order several weeks back so that I could be prepared). We talked for bit; really just to get me to the point where I could actually open “this” conversation. I stuttered, I stumbled, as this was a first for me. Granted credit to many of you ladies here for being Sheppard’s on this topic and providing all the wonderful guidance and wisdom that you provide every day.
I did notice that she was being unusually quiet and patient with me as I stumbled along. She kept telling me to take my time and If I didn’t feel comfortable “getting it out” that it wasn’t a problem; whatever the news is will come whenever the time was right. I have to admit that I was quite teary eyed in the process (and quite teary eyed writing this today in reflection).
Long story short we had a pretty significant chat that went well into the evening and she was so supportive and accepting of me and my news.
Now comes the punch line…. After an hour of chatting she pulled out our smartphone and pulled up a note for me to read. I was a note she wrote to herself a few days ago. She very dedicated to her work and often quite consuming but there are times when she just stops and reflects on something. Well the something was “what could be the conversation we are going to have...”
Her note to herself simply said… XXX is going to tell me he’s transitioning and having SRS” Just one simple line with 11 words. You can imagine how surprised I was and that teary session suddenly launched into a short waterfall. Now mind you there have been some signs over the past couple of months but I was convinced that she hadn’t been putting 2+2 together and she admitted that she just had to stop and reflect on things a bit. I asked why she didn’t say anything and her response was “it wasn’t my place. I’m your friend and whatever is going on you’ll tell me when you’re ready”.
It is so nice to have close friends and in this case a big sister to talk to. She’s very important to me and I knew that going into the discussion. Coming out just reinforced how important she is and knowing that I have her on my side is such a comfort.
To all you transitioning girls. Find your friend, your close confident, it means so so much as we face the challenges that we do every day.
Cheers… Jennifer