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View Full Version : Ladies and Gentlemen? My Meeting With Jean



Hell on Heels
02-10-2015, 03:39 AM
Hell-o Everyone,
This is an expansion on a recent meeting with my newest friend Jean, and her weekend trip "Two nights in Monterey".
The two of us recently had been chatting here on the forum, and Jean planned a weekend getaway to Monterey, Ca. (basically my backyard). This was on Superbowl Sunday, luckily the Packers were not playing, and we were able to meet.
Jean was already in Monterey when I contacted her. I drove to meet her, called her when I got into town, and told her where we could meet at the Monterey Bay Aquarium. I found a parking spot, and walked about 2-3 blocks to meet her. As I approached our meeting spot I was looking for her, not quite sure what she was wearing, or what she looked like in person.
We were to meet outside of the members entrance, so that limited the people that could possibly be her. Seeing a woman standing alone outside the entrance, looking like Jean, I approached her and said 'Excuse me Miss, are you lost?" Jean looked at me with a big smile, laughed and said hi. We gave each other a hug and headed into the Aquarium.
I have a membership there and also have 2 guest passes. Well on a previous visit the guest passes wouldn't work, no idea why, but I wanted to clear up the matter. So checking in at the desk I brought up the problem with the young lady working there. She couldn't have been more pleasant, I explained the problem (told her who I was) and no reaction at all, she ordered new cards for me and basically said enjoy your visit.
In we went...
We walked in and came to the first big exhibit, stopped and chatted, all the while people are moving about all around us. I noticed one guy standing near us, he had 2 small children with him, I'm sure he heard the two of us talking, when he turned and looked at us, and saw 2 women his first reaction was confusion, and when he figured it out, I saw a look of disgust, and he just moved on with his kids. This was the most offensive reaction I have ever had, just a strange look, no words.
We moved on throughout the aquarium, this exhibit, and that, the gift shop, stopping and chatting throughout our visit. Nothing but smiles from the people that payed us any attention at all.
We exited the Aquarium and hit the sidewalk. Walking down Cannery Row, past all the tourists shops, not to mention the tourists. There were a few "Yeah, I clocked you looks" but they were given with, and returned with nothing but smiles.
We eventually came to a spot that I've wanted to try, The Fish Hopper,
I had heard it was a spot that Clint Eastwood was involved in (still not sure, no mention of him anywhere). We were greeted by the staff with a very welcoming hello, given a quick description of the happy hour bar menu, and or, the option of having a table for dinner.
We decided to get a table, and were seated immediately. Our waiter came to our table and introduced himself, explained a few things, and asked if we would like to start with anything to drink. All very professional, and well .... normal. We were not ready to order and asked for a minuet. After he left we got caught up with more chatting and never put any thought into those drinks, (How many times have I seen my SO and her friends do this?) and when he returned we had to ask for another minuet.
We chatted more, but made some decisions, when the waiter returned we placed a drink order, anyway I did, and the guy ran off before getting Jeans order. When he returned again he took Jean's drink order, and our dinner orders. this guy was very polite, and professional (so far). To verify, as any waiter would do, he read our order back to us, and as he was leaving he said.... "I'll have those drinks right out for you gentlemen".
Those kind of references have never bothered me before, although this was the first time I had ever heard it in person, while dressed out and about. I don't have any feelings that I am a female, even though I may present as one, but I had know idea how Jean felt about these things, so the waiters statement made me a bit upset. He had no reason to make any gender reference at all, "I'll have those drinks right out for you", was all he needed to say. Neither I, nor Jean, made a comment to this guy.
Anyway, our drinks, and dinners came out, but were served by a different waitress. Her only comment was that she was taking over for the guy.
Now I'm really getting pissed off!
Thankfully our original waiter came back to explain. His shift was ending (they were just changing from lunch to dinner menus). I looked at him and said "yeah right! your just running out on us". He just said no it was the end of his shift.
The rest of our time there was incredible, chatting and enjoying each others company. The place really filled up as we sat there, people walking past our table all the time. I saw a few people give me a strange look, but nothing offensive at all, I just returned those looks with a smile, and continued talking with Jean.
As we left, we were gratefully thanked by the staff for visiting. We walked out to the main sidewalk, stopped and chatted again. The whole time people are still moving all around us. Most people never noticed us, a few did, gave a quick WTF and moved on. But one passerby, a female about my age, or slightly older, looked at me. (This all happened very quickly), her first look was one of questioning, like ... Are you? Could you be? I smiled at her as she walked by, the whole 4 or 5 seconds, but the last 2 seconds were amazing! Her eyes, and face were so happy, so warm and accepting. We exchanged gifts, and they were priceless!
From there we just took a walk back down the sidewalk to my truck. Of course we chatted more along the way, I gave Jean a ride back to her car, where we chatted more before saying goodbye.
What an amazing day, I never thought I could become a daywalker!
Thanks so much Jean, I hope we can meet again someday soon.
Much Love,
Kristyn

Beverley Sims
02-10-2015, 04:42 AM
Kristyn,
It's always good to see networking work out well.

I hope all other endeavours are as pleasant.

The Aquarium is great even if I did pay top dollar when I was there.

Hell on Heels
02-10-2015, 04:51 AM
Hell-o Bev,
Sorry, If you had let me know you were visiting,
your visit to the Aquarium would have been on me.
Come back soon.
Much Love,
Kristyn

vickim
02-10-2015, 05:12 AM
Very close to the Aquarium. Central cal here. Been there many a time. Sounds like you had a great time :)

Marcelle
02-10-2015, 05:13 AM
Hi Kristyn,

What a great day out. I find that just getting out and doing things in the Vanilla world helps to normalize this thing we do. Oh you get the whole range of WTF looks from the "rude offensive" to the "huh . . . whatever". It kind of goes with the territory. However, after time you will find these do not bother you half as much as they do now. I would not get too concerned about "gentleman comment" as it could have been a matter of what do I say without being offensive or it could have been his method of being "rude" . . . hard to say. You did handle it with grace and poise though.

Welcome to the world of the day walkers.

Hugs

Isha

mykell
02-10-2015, 07:05 AM
hi kristyn,
what a difference a year makes, when my time comes i hope i would handle that type of situation gracefully,
your candor and approach of your situation has blossomed, so glad that things have turned out so well for you,
congratulations on being able to get out and share yourself with the world.....

Katey888
02-10-2015, 08:00 AM
Nice tale Kristyn - as Isha says, kind of goes with the turf - looks and 'moments'... but I think the 'gents' comment was a bit pointed and rude, unfortunately there is still a lot of education that needs to be done out with the muggles - but you had a great time, and I've certainly had worse service in places so we should always take the positives away from these experiences. :)

Like something so trivial will stop you doing this again... ;)

Katey x

Pat
02-10-2015, 08:39 AM
"Daywalker" -- I like that! :) Sounds like an awesome time. I've always found when someone gives you the "ah-HA! I caught you!" look, returning a "Why, yes, you did" smile defuses the situation completely. Forgive the waiter -- his inner dialog leaked out into his words. It happens when people are trying to process the situation while their mouths are moving. Sounds like he tried to make amends.

Barbara Black
02-10-2015, 09:47 AM
Too bad Beverly Sims couldn't have joined you there. Is there a place on this forum for letting others know about upcoming excursions (daywalkers: I like that term also)? It would certainly foster a growth in the amount of such occasions? Well, maybe not it Wisconsin. Oh! I forgot about the Packer reference.., a fan from SF Hell on Heels? Yay!!

Nadine Spirit
02-10-2015, 10:24 AM
What the heck? Free entrance to the aquarium?? OMG you never mentioned before that you have such power! Ha! My wife and I will have to come visit you know! Ha-Ha! We love the aquarium. I especially love the Ghiradelli(sp?) ice cream shop down the block. But I don't know if my waistline enjoys it so much. :)

Glad you had a good time out and about during the day. Being a daywalker is quite enjoyable. I don't even know the last time I was out at night. But really it makes no difference to me anymore. Night or day, they are both so enjoyable I don't even take notice.

Seriously though, my wife and I will have to come up and hang out sometime. I'd love to meet.



What a great day out. I find that just getting out and doing things in the Vanilla world helps to normalize this thing we do.

I totally agree with this!

Jean 103
02-12-2015, 06:06 AM
WOW, really Kristyn. LOL For the most part just tune the rest of the world out, you could not miss the waiters comment, but it didn’t bother me in the least. Thank you for taking the time to meet with me. I enjoyed our talk, hope we can meet again sometime. Love Jean

donnalee
02-12-2015, 08:42 AM
They must split tips at that restaurant. Bad policy; tips indicate you have been well served and rewards the server, or perhaps the waiter realized he blew it badly and hoped if you liked the waitress you might tip at least something. I am glad you named the restaurant so we know to avoid it in the future - and we all have friends....
Visited the aquarium about 10 years ago; beautiful exhibits, but the place was so full of German tourists and their screaming kids that it was difficult to walk around, let alone enjoy the place. I left early, very disappointed.

GenieGirl
02-12-2015, 09:21 AM
Such a great story Kristyn!

kimdl93
02-12-2015, 10:20 AM
Isn't it amazing how much information is conveyed by even brief eye contact and facial expression?!

Hell on Heels
02-12-2015, 01:17 PM
Hell-o Donnalee.
I wouldn't say that the restaurant should be avoided because
our waiter let something slip. The entire staff was very welcoming
and pleasant. The waiter was even very good, and promptly took care of us.

And the Aquarium... That place is always busy! That's what's nice
about having a membership, when it gets to be too much, I can just leave, and
not feel like I have to stay because I paid the admission.
Much Love,
Kristyn

Tonya Rose
02-12-2015, 01:52 PM
Awsome! sounds like you ladies had a wonderful time!:hugs:

MsVal
02-12-2015, 01:55 PM
It sounds like you had a perfectly delightful day Krystin. I am green with envy, but thankful that you shared your story with me and the rest of us who live that part of our lives vicariously.

Best wishes
MsVal

CynthiaD
02-12-2015, 08:10 PM
I lived in Monterey back in the '70s, and I love the place. I get back there whenever I can, which unfortunately isn't that often. My next visit will be en femme, which I've never had the opportunity to do.

It sounds like you had a wonderful time. I'm so happy for you!

Felicia Dee
02-21-2015, 12:53 PM
That's an awesome tale! Go you! XOX

pamela7
02-21-2015, 01:09 PM
how lovely,
and "daywalking" - great expression!