Supportive Mothers

[LeotardMan]

Hi Ladies,

It seems like a lot of us at one point or another debated about telling our moms about our CD. I Was wondering how many of you have supportive mom's? Has it brought you closer together? My mom had some problems for about two years, she knew, and she kind of knew when I wore her leotards. However, a little later we spoke about it and she accepted it. At first it was kind of she was ok with but didn't approve of it 100% but she did things that I didn't like. But as the time wore one she became cool with it, I became cool with some of her things.

Geoff

[pamela7]

Hi Geoff,

Whatever I've told my mum, she's been so cool with, over the years. She's supportive over the CD-ing too - tho it never occurred to me to check out her clothes when I was growing up.

xxx Pamela

[Beverley Sims]

I think you are fortunate to have a supporting mum. :)

[Danielle_cder]

My mom is very supportive never batted an eye when I came out to her

[Cheryl T]

I wish I had told my mom when I was younger. But that was a time when it was taboo and my secret getting out would have been devastating.
I feel she would have accepted me no matter what. I just wish I had given her the opportunity to do so.
Once after a Halloween party (my first out dressed) I was showing her the pictures. She passed one to my father and said, "wanna see what your daughter would have looked like if we had had one?".
It was heartwarming even though she didn't (I think) know the real truth.

[tammie]

HI Luvs: I was very fortunate , my mother caught me in my older teen sisters lace UW bra and matching LLPG and didn't scream or chastise me , just made me promise not to wear her (sister's) clothes , took them and left .

When she caught me next I was in her bra girdle stockings and slip looking wonderful and she again took her clothes and left .

She asked her friends what to do to help me , they advised her to get me my own lingerie and forget it.

She did and it protected me from likely stealing someones lingerie and perhaps getting into lots of trouble .

At that time (early sixties) it was a sex crime to steal womens underwear, so ever the good mother she kept me safe by getting me somethings of my own to wear .

She was not encouraging me , but rather protecting me as she was told I would not likely stop .

Her instructions were to not wear them (my new things) out of the house or to school , and to not let my father see me in them.

I did indeed feel so lucky , but didn't know until much later how wonderful my mom was in keeping me safe from myself.

[DeeNile]

Without getting into tons details, i have never came out to either my mom or dad, but they both know. Its a subject that has only been brought up a few times, usually because they caught me. To this day, its not spoken about, but I believe my mom was more supportive. My dad just didn't talk about it. I had a dresser full of women's clothing that I kept at his house. He moved to Florida, but had a moving sale before. He sold the dresser before i could empty it out. All he said was "I put all that shit that was in your dresser in a trash bag and left it in your closet." Nothing else was ever said. I was a freshman in high school at the time, early 90s. I was too shocked and dumbfounded to say anything but ok. Is that supportive? Not really, but he didn't lecture me or ask questions either so it wasn't negative. Just unspoken

[Michelle 78]

My Mother knows and has done for 7 months now, I just had to tell her I'd had enough of keeping secrets from her. She is semi supportive, she goes shopping with me en drab of course and she gives me time and space to dress but she never wants to see Michelle not even a picture. It can be frustrating but I respect her decision, maybe one day who knows.

[DonnaT]

My mom is quite supportive, and has gifted me with clothes and jewelry.

[phylis anne]

Well I am your typical 60 ish male and that being said repressed it all my life due to the usual sociatal norms family etc and as one member pointed out to me the repression is what has made my personality somewhat grumpy ,however when phylis is in the house it is quite the opposite ,so I snuck a strong sneaky hint to my mom (she is 94) told her the dr was looking at all my bloodwork and mentioned that I could have been born either way to which she replied it would not matter as she would have accepted me either way ! slowly building more hints like possibly bi gendered? when she asks what that might be then the cat will have gotten out of the bag and there will be no putting it back :eek: either am treading very lightly here .
hugs phylis anne

[charlenesomeone]

Geoff glad your Mom is accepting and sounds like you both are in a great place.

[Angela Marie]

I never told my mom but I'm pretty sure she would have been supportive; especially if I told her before I got married lol. A few years ago I found a picture of her in her younger days. The resemblance was pretty strong. Guess I was my moms daughter lol

[Lily Catherine]

My mum was the first to find me out and disapproved except for plays / school photoshoots etc. In other words, cross-dressing for the sake of it, and especially involving her clothes.

Ironically, my favourite ball gown was hers. She lent it to me for the orientation photoshoot in junior college. Eventually that got vetoed as the college disapproved. But I digress.

[alwayshave]

My mom caught me wearing her girdle when I was 5 or 6. I believe that she was understanding. However, while I fully accept my crosdressing as an adult, I don't think it is something I need to burden her with.

[Rogina B]

I was fortunate enough to grow up with a supportive open minded mother that encouraged my explorations from age 6,on...She never shared any secrets with my very rigid father who was a driven professional athlete..I have never been burdened with guilt or other baggage and have had a life of following my own course. Good ,bad,or otherwise..mixed results for sure,but I have done it my way.

[Melissa73]

i told my mom roughly 2 years ago, a year before she passed. Since she was in cali, and me illinois... i told her over the phone. As i was speaking, she interrrupted me and said i "i know" and said that she would always love me. Course i also was able to tell her i had joined a support group and it thrilled her that i was seeking people like me.

[justmetoo]

My mother is very openminded and openhearted. She is very supportive, has seen pictures and even met me en femme once. She has given me femme things (little thoughtful things). And nothing but love, acceptance, and support. She even helped me when I decided to choose a name. (I have sisters and nieces who are equally supportive)

[Sophie Yang]

Geoff

I told my mom about six months ago and she has been very supportive. She will be 82 in March. When asked what she thought about it, her response was she didn't have a problem with it if it makes me happy. We have been going out for lunch every Sunday. She visits several senior centers in the area. On occasion she asks me to escort her to some of their special events. The last one was a Christmas lunch. She still drives, but on occasion I'll drive her to her doctor's appointments. We will be attending several plays in the next couple of months.

[Candice Mae]

My mom, sister, and most recently cousin have been very supportive of me. My mom has alway been there for me, when I needed help or just some one to talk to. My sister and I have become a lot closer over the last year, even told me that she was about to talk to me about transitioning because she knew all along it was who I was. My cousin has become one of my best friends and I'm learning a lot from her on being a woman in her 20s. Can't image where I would be with out them.

[Bea A]

My mom found out when I was in the 6th grade - several times. She passed away in 1990. I remember her telling me one time - do you want me to dress you like this all the time?" I never answered her, but always wonder now if I should have said "Yes".

[Isabella Ross]

I told both my parents about a year ago. Incredibly supportive.

[Diane1950]

My mother is long gone, never having found out about me, unless she drew some conclusions from some of the stuff I did as a kid. (I got caught more than once)

But given the ethnic, social and religious considerations of the Depression generation she grew up in, there is zero chance she would have been supportive, sympathetic, or even understanding.
She would have harbored a strong bias against anything outside the norm. When my brother came out as gay, most of the family accepted it, but not Mom. She went into a rage, which didn't help a bit.

So she died without knowing about me. No big deal.

[alice clair]

I never told my mother or father....BUT when I was in my late 40s I was home after my heart attack and was feeling much better. My mom and dad would bring me food sometimes and would just walk in, I did not expect them one day and had on a dress and of course all the trimmings. When I saw them they were already in the house and said is m... here so I turned around and just walked into my bedroom and changed. When I came out they did not say a word about it, and never did mention it. They passed away a few years ago and I always felt I should have said something myself to them but I didn't. Still feel bad about it to this day.

[pamela7]

newsflash, out walking with my mother and her dog yesterday, and she's had a dream, clearly revealing she should have been CD-ing F2M for probably 20 years ...
i think she has a supportive "son" who is now encouraging her into menswear ...

[DAVIDA]

I told my mother over twenty years ago.
After I told her, I asked her to hem a skirt for me.:heehee:
Since then, we have gone shopping together at one of her favorite local clothing stores.:)

[MissTee]

Mom does not know, and I do not intend to tell her. She is about as closed minded as one can get and would be very upset if I shared this part of me. I know this as I have a both a gay brother and sister (who try to hide it, but not very effectively.) Behind their backs to me and my other siblings she gets on these rants about what she did wrong to have two kids who are such deviants. We've tried to talk to her and get her to be more accepting, but nope. It's a sin and they're going to hell.

[lingerieLiz]

My mother put me in panties at about 5. When she found that I liked them she stopped and I didn't. Eventually she found out I was still CDing. She suggested shock therapy. Later on she gave in and accepted it. She has given me women's clothing and seen me wearing women's clothes. I've even purchased panties in front of her. She is nosy and goes through my things when I visit. Greatest thing when she gave me all my sisters' things from the 50s & 60s they didn't want and some of hers from the 40s. I once gave her a dress of mine that she liked.

[S. Lisa Smith]

I told my mother about 20 years ago. We have been shopping together with me dressed. I'm the daughter she never had. My sister is a tomboy and is not into clothes like we are...

[Erika Lyne]

Hi Geoff,

I hate to be the only one here that has a differing mother but mine is. She caught me several times when I was quite young. After being repeatedly scolded, I purged without knowing what it was, I was probably around the age of 8. I started sneaking clothes again a few years later. I was really god at hiding my things, as my mother was a stay at home mother. She discovered an outfit that I didn't have time to stash away when in high school. She left me a note addressing the clothes, "Tell Purple Puppy to leave her clothes at her house." The note was placed on my laundered and folded outfit, left out on my bed. I left a reply for her to find the next time she came to my room, "These clothes are not Purple Puppy's. They are mine and they will stay in my room." She approached me about it once more. Her reasoning is that it'll pass. It hasn't, obviously.

I think the closest she ever came to accepting my CDing was when I was in college and she had to hem a skirt of hers for a funeral. She was upset that she couldn't get the hem straight and the funeral didn't help. She asked me to pin it for her while she stood on a step stool. I've never been good at heming anything. Needless to say, I couldn't pin it straight, it may have been partially deliberate. I offered to wear the skirt and stand on the stool while she pinned it. She reluctantly agreed, when I came back to the well lit kitchen and stood on the stool, she started to pin the skirt and noticed my shaven legs. She ran her hair across them as a concerned and disapproving parent upon finding a first tattoo on their child. She said nothing but had tears in her eyes when she was done with the skirt. Never more have we spoken about it.

-E

[JocelynJames]

Hi Geoff,

I hate to be the only one here that has a differing mother but mine is. She caught me several times when I was quite young. After being repeatedly scolded, I purged without knowing what it was, I was probably around the age of 8. I started sneaking clothes again a few years later. I was really god at hiding my things, as my mother was a stay at home mother. She discovered an outfit that I didn't have time to stash away when in high school. She left me a note addressing the clothes, "Tell Purple Puppy to leave her clothes at her house." The note was placed on my laundered and folded outfit, left out on my bed. I left a reply for her to find the next time she came to my room, "These clothes are not Purple Puppy's. They are mine and they will stay in my room." She approached me about it once more. Her reasoning is that it'll pass. It hasn't, obviously.

I think the closest she ever came to accepting my CDing was when I was in college and she had to hem a skirt of hers for a funeral. She was upset that she couldn't get the hem straight and the funeral didn't help. She asked me to pin it for her while she stood on a step stool. I've never been good at heming anything. Needless to say, I couldn't pin it straight, it may have been partially deliberate. I offered to wear the skirt and stand on the stool while she pinned it. She reluctantly agreed, when I came back to the well lit kitchen and stood on the stool, she started to pin the skirt and noticed my shaven legs. She ran her hair across them as a concerned and disapproving parent upon finding a first tattoo on their child. She said nothing but had tears in her eyes when she was done with the skirt. Never more have we spoken about it.

-E
Never fear being the only one. My mother does not know and I don't foresee a time when she will.

[kaleyg]

My mom and I had the chat back in November -- she was figuring it out from some clues and encouraged me to explore while I was visiting. I dressed up and we went out once. During my current visit, I've dressed about 60% of the time I've been here. We went to the Renaissance Fest yesterday with me in her "tavern wench" costume. : ) She's hoping to go out once more before I leave. Also bought me some new clothes for my bday. AWESOME mom. This is helping me so much.

[Dianne S]

When I was 22, I told my mother I crossdressed. She was shocked but accepted it. However, she never, ever mentioned it again.

So...

Last year, when I was 47, I told my mother I was not a crossdresser. I told her I was a transsexual and intended to transition. I'm now a year into transition and presenting as female a lot of the time except for work. My mother is now fully supportive. She goes out with me as Dianne, has given me clothes and jewellery and has met many of my trans friends.

In fact, someone at her building put two and two together and connected Dianne with her son from before, and there was quite a bit of gossip. My mother was furious and gave them hell... she defended me like a mother bear protecting a cub. :) This is true unconditional love and I'm forever grateful for having excellent parents. (My father sadly died before I could come out, but I know he would have been supportive. He always told me and my sisters to be true to ourselves, regardless of what others might think.)

In fact, I think my mother and I may be closer now than ever. We certainly talk more, and the other day when I happened to be presenting male, she seemed almost disappointed not to be going out with Dianne. The twists and turns of life are surprising and sometimes wonderful.