All Both Ways

[sabrinaedwards]

When I am dressed as I am today, I feel that I could live this way permanently.I have on my LBD, red patent high heels, new wig and new jewelry. But when I am dressed as a maie I sometimes think that I could discard my feminine attire. Do you'll ever feel that way? Right now I feel sooo girly and so happy! In the background I have on a Victoria Secrets CD, I am drinking some white wine and I just feel in sync with my feminine self. Right now I could live out my life as a girl! Wow, I feel so whatever nice, sweet, feminine, girly, and not male.
Love, Sabrina

[Cheryl T]

Many times I thought I could ignore this side of me.
Those thoughts led to many purges which were followed again by many shopping trips to rebuild my discarded wardrobe. Since accepting myself 10 years ago and coming out fully to my wife those thoughts are a thing of the past. I know now that this is who I am and was meant to be. I have many facets to my being which all need expression and this is a very important part of what makes me who I am.

[Beverley Sims]

I let my imagination run wild at times too.
We can all dream.

[Sarasometimes]

I too love both being fully dressed and doing very girly/feminine things and being casually dressed as a male and doing very manly/masculine things. Pretty common for women to behave as such but not so much in my circle of the world.
I don't do well when I can't regularly express all of who I am. But I have others to consider and bills to pay and the Mega-ball jackpot eluded me again!

[RADER]

I do not dress out of the house; I do under dress as much as possible.
I even wear fem jeans exclusivity.
I wish I could wear a dress outside, but I just do not have anything fem about me.
I love wearing a dress at home; however when I do go outside, being dressed
in mostly Male attire is OK. There are times that being a boy is great, and acting as a girl
can feel even better. I guess having it both ways can give you a better respect for the other side.
Rader

[CynthiaD]

Given the choice of discarding my male attire and discarding my female attire, the male attire would definitely go. Femme forever!

[Rachael Leigh]

Sabrina I would think this is a common thought for many of us, I so enjoy my time dressed and don't want to take it off and yep then when endrab Im like what am I doing but then I'm right back to thinking sure wish I had a skirt on.
So it's a Rollercoaster for sure

[Angela Marie]

I always hate it when I have to take my wig, makeup and clothes off. Not that I hate my male clothes but my feminine side is much more appealing to me.

[Marcelle]

Hi Sabrina,

I am going to go out on a bit of a limb here. By virtue of the fact you find solace in your male side from time to time, it is unlikely that you could purge the male and stay 100 percent female. In a way it is just your psyche trying to make sense of both sides of you. My question to you is , when you are dressed en femme, does it just feel right and likewise with your boy self? When I first started therapy I thought perhaps I was on the fast track to transition because expressing Isha was exhilarating and all I could think of. However I still liked my boy life. In working with my therapist we came to the conclusion there is not transition for me because to do so would most likely leave me on the other side of the fence having to CD FtM to feel complete. I think once you find balance you will find that you can feel exhilarated regardless of which gender you present.

Hugs

Isha

[charlenesomeone]

Love the girl time, and hate to change back. I wonder sometimes if it's that we are comfortable in
a certain mode, one we have been raised as verses one we are relatively new to.
Hugs

[Katey888]

I'm afraid some innate male laziness probably comes into play for me... :bonk:

I'm now in a mode where it seems I have to have something specific to do, or something new to try, before I can get everything into readiness including my mind state... Once I'm there I do despise having to shed it all - but I also know I ultimately have to and that the girl time I get is fantasy time: reality is being male and just getting stuff done...

In some ways it was so much easier when this was simpler... dressing from the neck down and letting my imagination carry the rest. Exposing the whole Katey package to the outside world comes with expectations and demands - even if only my own values and standards - but I wouldn't want to let go of either aspect of me. Maybe I am close to something like harmonious balance now...? :thinking:

Katey x

[flatlander_48]

I suspect that my innate sensibilities are somewhere roughly in the middle between male and female these days. In other words, I'm aware of the other personna when I'm dressed and functioning as the opposite. Because of this, I don't think there is much shift. I think it would feel very odd to me if there was a big shift. It would seem that I would be 2 people and that's not the case.

DeeAnn

[Claire Cook]

Hi Sabrina,

Like all of you have said I value (need!) my Claire time, and if I had my druthers I'd purge -- all of the male stuff! But like many of you I'm not ready to have Claire take over work and other responsibilities. Some of you probably have gone through the development that I have -- the guilt phase, the dual personality thing, the (femme) purges. Now my goal is to merge all of this into me -- let all of those Claire qualities that make me a better person (empathy, gentility, understanding and yes love of pretty things) -- be part of me no matter what I am wearing.

But I'd much rather wear my comfy stuff! :)

Hmm. Claire has not been out and about for a week and the genie (Jeannie?) pressure is building .. time to get out of the lamp....