It's Carnival in Brazil

[Julia Red]

The biggest festival in Brazil just started. From this Friday to Tuesday there will be 5 straight days of parties everywhere. One of the events here in my city is the "Bloco dos Sujos". It's an event where, guess what: thousands of men go out dressed as women. Must be a crossdresser's paradise, right? Unfortunately, not quite so.

Contrary to popular belief, Brazil is a religious and conservative country. It's not OK to crossdress here. Like any other places, you won't get a round of applause going out dressed. Men who do it on carnival are just doing it to look funny. Imagine a full bearded guy wearing a dress and drinking beer. Or a muscular one with no shirt, wearing a cheap blonde wig and a short skirt, with basketball shoes. Or a skinny one, not wearing any wig, but with exaggerated make-up on his face, wearing a tube dress, but so skinny that you won't see any curves. They do look funny. And they have a lot of fun.

On the other end, I stay at home, always getting a little sad, like it's valentine's day and I don't have a girlfriend. I don't like carnival, but I always feel like I should take a risk. I always think that it would be a good opportunity to sneak out dressed and not get much attention. I could go out dressed "funny" just like them, but I don't think I would have fun doing that. Or I could go out fully dressed fearing I would be treated like I'm a prostitute. Notice the keyword here: fear.

Fear that someone starts bullying me at the street.
Fear that people take photos and they end up in my friend's Facebook.
Fear that my coworkers spot me and I became the talk in the office.

I'm battling this feeling for a long time and I'm tired of it.

This year, I want to take the risk. After all, it's a lot of people on the streets. A lot of women go out using costumes too. So I will dress the best I can, try to look like a lady, and just try to blend in. I think I'm ready to do that. A couple of female friends will go out with me. Tomorrow we'll meet at their home, and one of then will do my make-up. I'm going out as Little Red Riding Hood. All shaved, wearing high heeled combat boots, a corset, blonde wig, the Red Riding costume (composed of clothing I have, plus cheap items), body pads, and full make-up.

But I'll still be a man dressed as a woman. And not like the others, because I'll be aiming for the feminine look, not the funny one. I get nervous by just thinking about it. But I want to fight it. On the previous years, I could blame my ex-wife, for not letting me do it. She is out of my way now. No one to blame but me.

I'll tell you how it goes. I'll be back here feeling sad or extremely happy. Let's hope for the latter.

[Rhonda Darling]

Good luck! Try to get some photos of you out and about and share them here. I can tell this is a really big deal for you -- a first. Quell your fear, knowing all your friends here have at one time or another had to deal with the same fear. We all know that getting out the door guarded by fear is just a matter of one foot ahead of the other.

I'm counting on you getting out and enjoying Carnival like you never have before. I suspect everyone out will be so self absorbed that they will only pay you a glance and a nod of approval.

Best,
Rhonda

[ange_o]

Being with friends should help ease thought of risk I would think. Just have a great time and enjoy. Oddly enough seeing dancers at Carnival on TV as a kid is the first time I remember looking at a woman and thinking I wish I could wear that!

[Marcelle]

Hi Julia,

If you feel you are truly ready to go out then you will. Exercise caution, stay to public venues and going out with other women will help you blend.

Hugs

Isha

[Claire Cook]

Hi Julia,

I thought that Brazil was known for its transgender population, particularly trans-women, and I'm rather surprised that this is an issue, especially during Carnival. Maybe I'm wrong about that, you live there and certainly know better than I. But I would think that if you go with your girlfriends, and look reasonably female, you should be OK. Aren't there lots of crowds? You will be among a lot of people, and I wouldn't worry about being singled out in someone's FaceBook (there will be lots of people, yes?) -- or that your co-workers will spot you.

I'm sure you won't be sad -- quite to the opposite -- this is a time for fun and you will have fun! I know it will start out being very stressful, but trust your GF's and enjoy the moment .. or as someone said, Carpe diem!

[Katey888]

I'll certainly hope for you feeling happier Julia - I'm sure you'll be fine... :)

You've thought this through, got a bunch of supportive GFs, and everyone else will be mostly out to enjoy themselves so you should have a ball!

DO take care - don't take any risks, and of course it would be great to hear about it and see some pics after! :cheer:

Deep breath! Have fun! Be fabulous!! :D

Katey x

[AnnieMac]

Bom dia, Julia. Tudo bem? I have spent a fair amount of time in Brasil and I have seen quite a few transgender/CD types out and about freely. More than I have in the US, especially in the big cities like Sao Paulo or Rio. Doesn't mean it's any more accepted however.

[flatlander_48]

For the last several months I've been leading a project at a plant we have in Rio. I spent 2 weeks there in September, but probably won't be going back until another 3-4 weeks. I enjoyed being there and I think I have a pretty good relationship with the people I'm working with, so I look forward to going back. Inadvertently, I was a big hit because I am well acquainted with Brazilian music and have long had Sergio Mendes, Deodato and Antonio Carlos Jobim on my iPod. What they didn't know was that I became friends with a group of Brazilian students when I was in college. They introduced me to their music (this was late 60's-early 70's) and I've been a fan ever since. Being a long time motorsports fan, it also didn't hurt that I also knew about Aryton Senna, Nelson Piquet, Rubens Barichello, Tony Kanaan, Helio Castro Neves, Carlos Pace, and many others.

That said, the Transgender Day of Remembrance was an eye-opener. For those who don't know, it is an international series of events and programs that are designed to bring attention to violence against transgender people. On the day of of the TDoR (I'd have to check for the specific day), one of the main things is the reading of the list of names of people who have died as a result of violence in the past year. I was surprised at the sheer number of Brazilian transgender people on the list. I think those of us from other countries see the images of Carnivale and scantily clad people on the beaches and we get the idea that the country is much more open and liberal than the actual reality.

So JR, be well and be safe!

DeeAnn

[Beverley Sims]

Julia,
I hope it goes well for you.
Thanks for the heads up on the real situation.

[Pat]

Good luck! I'll be hoping to read that your adventure was a massive success and you had an excellent time!

[S. Lisa Smith]

Good luck, have a blast!!! Let us know how it went and take pictures!!!

[sara.rafaela]

Hi Julia. I am lucky to have the chance to visit Brazil often. One of my favoriute memories was a party in one of the favelas six years ago. I went to Rio during carnaval. I met two working girls by a bar near the beach. I explained to them I do not go with working girls, but they continued to talk to me all night. After some time, they invited me to a Funk Party in the Favela of Fazendinha. It was a great party. I got back to my hotel at 7 AM. I have busines in Sao Paulo and in Santa RIta. I have not had the chance to dress in Brazil. I am worried about the street violence. If you are in Sao Paulo, maybe we can meet someday.

[phylis anne]

On the other hand ,perhaps your work mates will see you dressed at carnival and compliment you that alone could open many doors enjoy and stay safe
hugs phylis anne

[Julia Red]

I did it! And I'm back in one piece. It was fantastic, definitely the most amazing experience I've ever had as a crossdresser.

Unfortunately, we did not take many photos, but I want to show you some of them. I just made a thread at the Picture and Video Gallery section. Before reading the rest you might take at look >>here<< (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?224867-My-day-as-Little-Red-Riding-Hood-on-Brazilian-Carnaval&p=3695849#post3695849)to see how I went.

As planned, I went to my friends house and dressed there. Then we took a cab and went to the city's downtown, where the party took place. I live in Florianópolis. You can google "bloco dos sujos florianopolis" to see what the festival looks like. They estimated more than 70 thousand people attended the festival that day.

I walked around in high heels, fully dressed, and caught a lot of attention, even inside the crowd. Surely I was overdressed compared to the other men, but I knew that would happen anyway, so I was expecting it. Got a lot of stares, people pointing at me, and hearing things like "look at that red riding hood!". Some guy held my arm and said "hey blondie, adopt me" and his friend said to him "it's a man!". The guy was surprised and they laughed. I just laughed back at then. I handled it all pretty well, I think.

We met with some of my friends' friends there. All the other guys were dressed funny. One of then took notice of me and started picking on me, called me some names, showed me to his friends. People there were drinking beer, his behaviour was over the top, and he was making me a little uncomfortable. But it did not bother me that much, as I was too busy being terrified and happy at the same time to care about what he was thinking. Fortunately, we became friends later, so it was all fun (I'll write more about it).

Then, things got a little out of control. It started raining, a heavy rain. We got soaked but stayed there for some time. Then the guys decided we should go to someone's house to escape the rain and order pizza there.

Then we walked a lot, in the rain. It was a group of 7 people (2 guys, 4 girls and me), walking at night, in the rain. I was the only one of the group wearing high heels. We got to a residential building but stayed outside, because they decided to go to a Pizzaria (Pizza's restaurants, very common here) instead of ordering pizza. The two guys changed back to man mode, so I ended up being the only man dressed as a woman of the group. And we were going to the Pizzaria like that.

My friends apologized about that, but I didn't care, I was not going to take off my costume anyway. At that point, I was feeling very confortable, powerful, and happy inside, feeling that absolutely nothing would get to me anymore. I did not take off the wig, nor the shoes, at any moment. I stayed fully dressed all night, and held my little basket all the way.

We went to the Pizzaria. It was full so we had to wait outside. When I looked inside, people were dressing normal. There was even a family, with children, eating there. We were not at the festival anymore, so at that point I was really going out in drag, wearing a pretty costume, to a normal place, with a group I barely knew (aside from my two friends). Not what I signed for, but I was thrilled! I was really enjoying my girl night.

After a long wait outside, we entered the Pizzaria. Of course I drew attention, but nobody said a word to me. I was trying to behave like a lady, so I sat normally with the group. The guy that was picking on me before sat besides me and started picking on me again. He did not understand me, and asked "I don't get you, what are you? why are you still dressed like that?". Then I told him I was a crossdresser. We don't have this word in portuguese, so I said the exact word in english. Many people here know what it means, but not this guy.

So, things got more interesting. I explained to the guy and his girlfriend what is crossdressing, and told them about my experiences, my evolution, everything. They got VERY interested on the subject. The guy made A LOT of questions. "Do you dress like this all day? So are these clothes yours? Are you gay?". I explained everything, and they were very supportive. At one point his girlfriend was with tears on her eyes. She liked me a lot, told me to add her on facebook later. She works at a female clothing store, so we shared stories about that. The guy changed his behavior and were like "yeah, you're right, you have to do everything that makes you feel good". It felt good to be accepted by them. I'm sure they never met or talked that closely with anyone like me (or us) before.

One thing that made me think was when the girl said "when I see you without these clothes later, I'll probably find it strange". They were normal people, meeting Julia before my male part. And they liked her. I could be very comfortable around these people if we were to hang out again, because they knew the "real" me before the only-male me that hides an important part of himself.

So, after the Pizzaria, we got back to my friends house. I didn't want to change back to my men clothes and drove back to my house still fully dressed. It was late at night. I don't think that anyone noticed me, not my neighbours, or the other drivers, and at that point I could care less if they did.

So, that's it. Thanks to anyone who read it. I'm still reliving every moment in my mind, it was really amazing. Some things could have gone out of hand, but I handled everything pretty well. I want to do it again next year, but with another costume, of course.

[Katey888]

Great experience Julia - and you've shared the feelings and the detail here so completely, I can feel the festival and taste the pizza! :D

And what a great job you did just talking to the guy who was misunderstanding - a really good example of how just being civil and polite and honest can help people understand... You are a great ambassador and a very snappily dressed one too! You handled it really well, but I have a feeling that you might try something else before another year is up... ;)

Do keep reliving the moments - it's great to have memories of these happy times...

Katey x

[Pat]

That is so cool! I'm glad you had a wonderful time. And that feeling of having taken a big step toward being yourself is such a great feeling. Congratulations!

[S. Lisa Smith]

It's great that you had a positive experience!!!! Sounds like you had a wonderful, liberating experience!!