The part of women I don't want to emulate.

[Alice Torn]

It is pretty much the same part that too many guys also have. Rage and anger, and violence. My only sister, six yrs my senior, has never had a boyfriend, or husband. Some spinster aunts, told her at a young age, that boys were bad, or evil, and stay away from them. Well, my sister also has a mental illness, and dystonia, something like cerebral palsy, and had two brain operations, in 1973, which seemed to help her stand straighter, but, they hit something in her brain, which short circuited her ability to speak clearly. She has very severe impediment, and maybe 10% is understandable. I have given her numbers and addresses of speech therapists, who treat dystonic speech impediments, but she was offended, expects others to understand her. A few yrs ago, i was driving, and could not decipher anything, and she got so mad, she kicked me as hard as she could! She usually repeats several times, and if i can't get it, yells, and threatens to hit, or kick. This has had a negative effect on me. I saw my mother yell and throw a knife at my dad, and i had to break them up,, many times. I love women, and their beauty, and much of their mannerisms, don't get me wrong. Nothing to me, is more lovely, than a graceful lady! But, i have seen the rage, and anger in my sister, mom, and some others, and it is anything but something i want to emulate when dressed up! Women have a right use of their anger, just as men do, but under self control. I know i have "blown a gasket" countless times at my family of origin, and at cars i worked on, and other times. It is ugly. Guys losing it, are ugly, awful. Women losing it, seems more rare, but just as ugly. It takes me time, to forget seeing a lady blow up. It really shakes me up, affects me. I sure do not want to ever emulate that , when ladied up! Of course, i should not let myself "blow a gasket" in guy mode, either, but it seems easier to do in bloke mode, sadly. Rage is ugly in either mode.

[Laura912]

Rage, anger, and violence, unfortunately, are not gender specific.

[Alice Torn]

As a kid, i heard that girls were everything sweet, and boys were more the rough, nonsweet things. Truth is, they both can be either.

[Jodi]

Alice, Her behavior fits the symptoms of brain injury after her surgery. Brain injury post surgery or post trauma can be very difficult to deal with and will probably get worse and not better.

Best to absent yourself from her if catastrophic behaviors bother you.

Jodi (35 years of working rehab with brain injuries)

[phylis anne]

well as the old saying was ------ girls are made of sugar and spice ,and boys were made of snails and puppy dog tails but sometimes a lot of stuff is thrown into the mix
hugs phylis

[Alice Torn]

Jodi, She was born premature in 1948, began to have dystonia around age 14, facial distortions, body not in control. Had two brain ops in 1973, to treat it, but lost her speech. She did walk straighter, was much better that way. She held a job for 30 years, just retired, is helping my 94 year old dad, with me, and my brother helping. She has driven ok for 32 years. She has the power of attorney over my dad and his property. But, she is like a 12 year old emotionally and socially, and is the oldest child. i am the youngest, and she thinks, like my brother, that i am a dumb younger brother. If she kicks me really hard again, i may call the sheriff, and have her warned. It has negatively affected my outlook on women, a bit. Though, she is not really a healthy minded woman, more of an angry child.

[nikki2014]

I've seen the anger myself. I had to put up with my ex-wife and she was evil. I swear I'd rather befriend the devil before her. She was way worst. Myself and my 3 children, 21,20,& 17, all have had physiological damage from her. It's awful. I've also seen women be very mean and hateful as well. I was in the military for a while. When they brought up the idea of throwing women on the front lines of the battlefield I was all for it. Have you ever seen a bunch of pissed of women who have missed a shower a few days and on the period? It's not a pretty sight. I'm convinced they could've kicked ass and kept on moving. Women can be very mean and hateful. I know exactly what you've gone through, maybe not to the extent, but I've experienced it as well. Keep your head high and be the beautiful woman you want to emulate. Kisses, Nikki

[Jodi]

You just reinforced my quote on behavioral issues post brain damage.

Jodi



Jodi, She was born premature in 1948, began to have dystonia around age 14, facial distortions, body not in control. Had two brain ops in 1973, to treat it, but lost her speech. She did walk straighter, was much better that way. She held a job for 30 years, just retired, is helping my 94 year old dad, with me, and my brother helping. She has driven ok for 32 years. She has the power of attorney over my dad and his property. But, she is like a 12 year old emotionally and socially, and is the oldest child. i am the youngest, and she thinks, like my brother, that i am a dumb younger brother. If she kicks me really hard again, i may call the sheriff, and have her warned. It has negatively affected my outlook on women, a bit. Though, she is not really a healthy minded woman, more of an angry child.

[Teresa]

Alice,
That rage comes from many sources as you say, we all experience things beyond our control and sadly some of us rage about it rather than stand back and think it through ! I'm trying to change my attitude but my wife just the other day was saying that she really wanted to go at her brother ! I said OK what are you going to get out of it, how are you going to feel afterwards and how long will the rest of us have to suffer with that ? I added if you want something from your brother why don't you just talk to him and ask him, he probably won't refuse !
I said this in front of my son who nodded in agreement !

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Jeez Alice, how on earth did she hold the job down for so long? Union member? Can't believe she has power of attorney, who on earth made the decision to give her that?

I'm not sure the sheriff would be much use, unless you want to press charges for assault, and you'd need a doctor/hospital cert and photos proving injury, and preferably a witness, to make that stick I would imagine.

I guess it's sexist to say it, but isn't anger and violence somehow uglier in a woman? Seems that way to me, guess I'm old fashioned.

[Beverley Sims]

Alzheimers is another demon in the woodpile.

[Lori Kurtz]

What you're describing is mental illness and/or brain damage, not characteristics of womanhood. It needs treatment, which, sad to say, we don't do well in our country. Encourage that as much as you can, although it sounds like any suggestions you make along those lines might not be well received. And if no progress is made along those lines, you need to protect yourself in one or both of two ways: seek law enforcement assistance, and keep your distance.

[Vickie_CDTV]

Just because someone is hurt, does not give them the right to hurt others. She needs professional help, there is absolutely nothing you can do to help her, and you have a right not to be injured by others... PERIOD.

If someone had assaulted me as you described, brain injury or not, they would be on my permanent "ban" list and I would not have anything to do with them. I do not allow others to hurt me under any circumstances, and Alice you should do the same. Until you cut yourself off from your toxic family, you will never, ever get any better.

[Tina_gm]

Rage and anger is not gender specific. Although perhaps tolerated more among men. But not that it should be. It should never be emulated by anyone.

[CynthiaD]

My mother had a lot of anger issues too. The solution is straightforward, but not simple: don't be like that. I've fought against it all my life.

[Alice Torn]

Thanks for all the posts, and sharing. This is a tough issue. Anger on jobs, school, sports, road rage. I know of a man killed by a road rager. With my sister, she won't get any serious help, has almost no friends, a few older single women like her, who also have serious issues. She expects me to be loyal to the family, and her, and she looks down on me, because i as still younger brother, and a little kid. After my 94 year old dad dies, she will really crack up, i am afraid. The only man she was ever close to! She is a 12 year old socially and emotionally. Being older does not make one wiser, nor mature! And i have seen anger out of control in both sexes. It sure is true, that many people should not have married, nor had offspring! I t would have been best, if my parents, never married.