Not a Good Day - This is not a feel good thread

[Marcelle]

WARNING - This is a not a usual Isha thread and does not have a good story behind it but more a healthy dose of reality.

Hi all,

I labored long on deciding whether to post this or not but then realized that part my journey is a learning experience for me which I share here. I have only had good experiences out and about (with the exceptions of a few giggles and guffaws from others) so this is an oddity or "one of" and daresay not typical of what we normally face when out and about. However, in the interest of expressing a balanced view of things and educating, I have decided to share that which to date is the worst experience I have had out and about. It is not meant to scare others it is meant to educate.

This past Sunday was a lazy day and I had decided to meet some friends in the city to see a movie. When I travel into the city, I normally take public transit as parking can be a nightmare. However, since I had some errands to run and it was Sunday, I decided to take my car. The day was uneventful and I met up with my friends at 3PM to go to the movie. The movie ended we went for dinner and then parted. I had noticed three younger men staring at us (more precisely me) in the restaurant and when I had got up to use the bathroom I heard the usual "tranny comments" but just let it go as the machinations of a few D-Bags.

I had parked a but further away from my friends at a cheaper lot and though they offered to drive me to the lot (given hindsight I should have taken the lift), I declined as it was only a few blocks away and I felt like walking off a rather large dinner. As I approached the lot I heard the laughter of some guys followed by "Hey there's the freak" . . . at that point I needed to get to my car ASAP but they closed the distance quite quickly and ended between me and my car. I won't go into great detail about the vile things they said but needless to say it was not pleasant. Now, standing my ground against three is not going to go well but I could not let them see fear or it would go bad quickly. So I stated, that "while they will most likely beat me badly one of them is going to go to the emergency room with me so they best decide who that will be". There was a moment's pause in all of them, they looked around and then said "F it, the freak's not worth it" and walked past me.

I stood still for a couple of seconds, composed myself and headed to my car. It was at that point that I felt the fist to back of my head and though I would like to say I went down fighting . . . never happened. I was kicked furiously but had learned to draw my knees up to my mid-section and arms around my face. They land a few good kicks to my back. I truly thought this was it for me but then I heard some shouting and few other men ran up and the guys took off (cowards are always afraid of even odds). The men helped me up and even though they realized I was TG they treated me with the utmost respect and decency. They offered to call the police but I declined (I know, I should have reported it but to be honest what is to be gained). Could I recognize these D-Bags again? I suppose but that will be for another day as there will be a reckoning.

So here I sit nursing a thrown back (went out when I fell) and few bruised ribs and various bruises not to mention a bruised ego and feeling stupid for putting myself in such a situation. I will heal and this has not lessened my resolve in going out. However, as bad as it was it could have been worse and what I took away was not as some may think . . . that going out dressed is dangerous. Going out anytime regardless of how you present is dangerous . . . this could have been just as easily a mugging. What I learned is that irrespective of the haters out there, there are those who are decent and will help regardless of how they see you. The men who helped me that night didn't care I was TG (it was obvious as my wig came off during the struggle) . . . one of the men handed me back my wig and said "Here you go miss" :battingeyelashes: and that restored my faith in humanity.

Hugs

Isha

[chrissy111]

So glad that you were not hurt any worse than you were. Small minded people can be so mean and hurtful. In the past I have gone out alone but I only go out with my wife now, I think there is safety in numbers. Hope you heal soon.

[Beverley Sims]

Isha,
I am sure others have similar stories to tell, not many I hope.

Surrounded by goodness and niceness here we can lose sight of reality easily.

When out and about I duck down lanes to take a short cut and sometimes run into a dead end.

On one of these occasions I was surprised to see my exit blocked by three guys larger than myself.

Obviously a tourist I thought I would get rolled, thankfully no.

I do feel for you on this occasion and it is a heads up for me as back alley shortcuts in Chicago, London and Paris have always been good to me.

Yes, I know that someday.......

All I can preach to othere is stay safe and remember your surroundings.

It is extremely risky by comparison when dressed.

[pamela7]

is a good ending, and we're mightily relieved you're safe
i guess you know to accept the lift to your car in future, and also to track such people AFTER you think its all over - to escape the attack
as you say, cowards and luckily some heroes
trust your intuition and stay hyper-aware when out

xxx Pamela

[krissy]

So glad your ok .Its so sad we cant just be left alone.Hang in there ,dont let them discourge you .They were just a bunch of morons

[Welshgirl]

Blimey Isha, what a story! Sadly, this is what it can be like being female out alone too - I have had a fairly sheltered life and even so there have been times when I have felt scared for my safety thanks to groups of men who think that it is a good laugh to make other people afraid of what they might do. There was even one very unpleasant occasion when a friend of a friend had drunk far too much and ended up forcing his way into my car as I was leaving an evening out, and only finally got out when he realised that he was too drunk to actually carry out all the things that he was threatening to do to me. Going out alone as a girl has its problems!

Let's hope that the bruises heal quickly, and you can find a good chiro to sort your back out. Then you can get back to being yourself again properly, and put that bunch of cowards behind you (preferable down a sewer somewhere with all the other s**t). I've said this on other posts and I will say it again, I think that you are all awesome, and I am full of admiration for everyone who can give full expression to all sides of themselves.

PS - I love your avatar pics, you look amazing!

[mykell]

isha, im really at a loss for words, you are the last person i would expect to have written this post,
in a world where you can be hit like that anywhere or anytime with a sucker punch just because its seen on the interweb was always disturbing when seen on the news, now added to the fact that it was just for the clothes you wore and were in no way bothering anyone has me extremely upset.

i just hope that with the comfort of those who helped you find that in a whole society will do the right thing and i hope with all my heart that karma is served and you may witness it firsthand, it always has a better flavor that way....

best wishes for a speedy recovery from your wounds and your faith....

[aprilgirl]

I'm so sorry that you had to endure such a harrowing experience Isha. Your bruises will heal with time and I trust it won't impact your will in expressing yourself in the future. I agree with your assessment that bad things can happen anytime, regardless how one presents, but I can't help but feel you may have been targeted in this instance. You were indeed blessed by those decent men who became involved. As for the idiots, take solace in the fact that those clowns have to live their lives utilizing their little, pathetic brains.

[Kate Simmons]

A hate crime pure and simple. I'm glad you are okay my friend. What goes around comes around in any case.

[phylis anne]

Wow of all people on this board this is a shocker Glad to hear you are ok there is always a group of jerks out there somewhere glad to hear regardless of your presentation that someone was good enough to stand with you and help you
hugs and feel better phylis

[Jamie Lynn]

Very sorry to hear this Isha. Hope you heal quickly and your back doesn't give you long term problems. I imagine there'll be some new rules for you when you go out again? Hugs from all of us!

[Claire Cook]

Dear Isha,

Like everyone else it's so hard for me to believe that this happened to you of all people. It is indeed a cold-shower wakeup to all of us that these things can happen, and a warning that we have to be careful. We think we want to be like women -- and then the reality sets in of what women (and TG's ...) really face out there. Maybe we should have a permanent thread about how to foresee and deal with such situations.

The bright side is that those men came to your aid, and that you'll recover, hopefully with no back problems. You've been such a rock for us, we hope we can try to be that for you.

Thank you for sharing this, and by all means take care,

Claire

[Mollyanne]

After reading your horrifying tale and letting it "sit in my head" for a while my thoughts went very quickly to really how bad that could have turned out. Yes, you got hurt (body and ego) but the good thing (if you want to call it that) is the fact that you weren't shot, stabbed or really brutally beaten. Our instincts tell us to do something for our own protection and we should follow them, but to often we take certain circumstances for granted. It is a fact that cowards ALWAYS appear in a group to "gang up" on one person. Maybe, just maybe there day will come for retribution.

Molly

[CarlaWestin]

Isha, I'm glad you survived the ordeal.

"...........and though they offered to drive me to the lot (given hindsight I should have taken the lift), I declined as it was only a few blocks away......."

How 'bout some better judgement next time. We would all miss your posts should something unspeakable happen.

[Lori Kurtz]

That's a harrowing story, but I'm glad you told it--for two reasons: 1. You need some support right now, and this is a uniquely appropriate place to get it. Incidentally, while none of us deserves to be treated this way, you are an especially valuable person at this site and especially un-deserving of abuse, because your wisdom and insights are no doubt helpful to many people here whom you don't even know about. 2. While it shows us all how scary a world we live in, and how senselessly vicious some people can be, it also shows how compassionate and decent some people can be.

[JeanetteX]

Dear Isha,

I'm shocked after reading your story. Those kind of people are animals, sorry but I have no other words for them (well in fact I do but then I guess I'll get banned from the forum).

Get well soon...not just physically but especially mentally.

[Heidi Stevens]

I do hope you heal quickly, Isha. These morons were definitely looking for a weaker target to prey on, it happened to be you this time. They probably thought they had a stereotypical effeminate gay man and not a special forces member who expresses his feminine side! But even your training does no good when out numbered. I'm glad you remembered to cover your vital organs during your attack. All that special forces training was worth it to prevent more serious injury.
What you ran into was the lowest of the low, idiots who prey on the weak to make themselves feel bigger than they are.
Please file a report with the police so your experience is not a total loss. If your description of these Bozos puts them away, then some other poor defenseless soul may be spared something worse.
Get better soon and get back on that horse, cowgirl! Hugs

[Jackie7]

Isha thank you for your honesty, courage, and your amazing ability to put your focus on the good in a very bad experience. So glad you are with us, so glad this was not worse. I'll be taking more care being out myself as a result of your ordeal. So proud to be your friend here!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Isha, That was a very sad story to read, That's always a fear that we have to live with.
I wish you a very speedy recovery. :hugs:

[ophelia]

Thanks for sharing Isha, Haven't we all gotten close to this awful situation? I've had some threatening comments and I've had a beer thrown at me in Kingston. Two or three drinks earlier this jerk-off's aim might have been better...
This is a cautionary tale for all of us.
I used to carry a small wooden bat, you know...the kind you get for smacking a pike when you're fishing. But an off-duty female Ottawa cop told me that, unless I was fishing at the time, if I ever used it I could be charged for carrying a concealed weapon! She suggested I carry a metal flashlight with a long strap and a really loud referee's whistle in my purse.
Again, Isha I am so sorry for you and I hope you can do some real internal healing, but I am grateful that you've given us this tragic but real heads-up.
Boldly go, but smartly go as well.

[Sara Jessica]

I'm so glad you are alright.

Such a cautionary tale. Rare indeed, something like this CAN happen to any of us who brave this (typically wonderful) world of ours.

[bridget thronton]

Glad you are ok

[Suzie Petersen]

Dearest Isha,
I am so sorry you had to experience that and like everyone here I wish you a speedy recovery, both body and soul.
As Welshgirl mentioned, your personal safety is part of what any woman mush consider all the time. We often still think like a man when we go out presenting as women, and that puts us at risk. Whenever I hear the classic stories of "I went out for the first time, so I chose to walk around some dark alleys to not be seen" it sends a shiver down my spine!

I know it is an unpleasant thought, but you must report this to the police!
Unlike you, these thugs just had a great experience! Their evening was a success with a positive outcome, it was a fun evening which they will remember and share laughs about for years to come, and they _will_ do this again!
Next time the result could be a rape or a homicide!

They were at the restaurant. Someone else saw them there too, staff or other guests. They might be regulars. You heard them make comments towards you, others might have heard it as well. They might have paid with a credit card which can identify them.

Of all the people I have read posts from on this forum, You would be the one who could take the pressure of going to the police about this. This is a hate crime and these guys must be stopped before they hurt someone else! You have the power to stop them!

Warm hugs
Suzie

[SandraV]

Hello Isha,
I am so sorry this has happened to you. I find myself speechless and sad at reading your unfortunate encounter with those scumbags. Remember, the only freaks in this story are those that have to justify their pitiful existence by hurting others that have the courage to be themselves. Keep your head high Isha and wish you a speedy recovery.

[S. Lisa Smith]

Nothing to add except my support and my hope that you heal quickly!!

[Annaliese]

My prayers are with you girl, for fast healing.
Yes this needed to be posted, to educated, that we always need have a watchful eye, and to be careful.
To a fast recovery, hugs

[JustWendy]

Isha - so sorry you had to go through this. In the end, though, it was a feel good story. I felt relieved that you weren't hurt worse than you were and that your last interaction with others that night was with some very fine people who not only helped you physically but helped us all to remember the kindness and acceptance that also exists in the world.

Wendy

[Lily Catherine]

Glad you're alright, and thankful for your honesty and frankness in bringing this up here to this site. In that night alone, both good and bad showed up. I just hope for your speedy recovery.

[VanTG]

Call the police and report it. There may have been camera's around. These thugs need to get some time in the clink.

Hopefully this does not deter you or others in the future.

[MsVal]

First and by far the most important thing: You are okay. I am personally and deeply thankful to be able to write that. I daresay that if that had happened to nearly any of us, the post would have been dated two days later from a hospital, if it could be posted at all.

Second ... well, there is no second. Your well-being is the only thing that really matters to me at this time.

Best wishes
MsVal

[flatlander_48]

I:

Thanks for recounting a very difficult experience. It is a reminder for us to be vigilant regarding our own safety, but it is also a reminder of potential dangers in the world for our wives, partners, daughters, mothers, sisters, et al. Let us not forget that cretins do walk among us and they look like anyone else...

DeeAnn

[nikki2014]

Sorry to hear of such unfortunate events had taken place and it could have been a lot worse. Although a bit bruised take care of yourself and I wish you a speedy recovery. Cheers my friend, Nikki

[Nikkilovesdresses]

That's horrible Isha, but thanks for telling us. I hope this won't spoil your beauty sleep or frighten your wife too much.

Hugs, Nikki

[deebra]

Isha, I'm very sorry to hear that happened to you.

[Seana Summer]

Isha, I am so glad you are ok. It is unfortunate that the world has these sort of people in it.

[Meghan4now]

Isha

So sorry to hear about your trouble. You did well in backing them down the first time. It's harder to defend your self when they sneak up on you. I have friends that are martial artist and combat vets that have been seriously injured that way. And they were just guys out for the evening, not particularly targets Thanks for letting us know and reminding us to be safe. Awareness beats speed strength and skill in importance. You apparently have the 5th important characteristic of a martial artist; guts.

Chin up as you work through this. It will take a while to heal.

M.

[Katey888]

Isha - first and foremost you're (largely) OK and safe home... thank goodness! But I know how upsetting any personal attack can be having suffered road rage in the past, I'm so sorry this has happened to you - I'm sure you'll be OK after a while and back on the horse again, so to speak... :hugs:

I'd second what Suzie and Van have said regarding the police: you MUST report this. Unreported crimes (particularly assaults against GGs) are rife and in all seriousness you're NOT helping either the police or future victims of these louts because they WILL attack someone again, whether it's another TG person, a GG or just someone who appears vulnerable - I don't mean to harp on but I know that you know it's the right and responsible thing to do. :)

It is a salutary lesson for anyone in ANY big city (even hyper-friendly Canada, it seems...) to be alert, aware and preferably not alone... I'm so glad you're OK enough to tell the tale, but that may not have been so for some of us without your training or instincts... that definitely scares and sobers me and reminds me why I have largely stuck to 'safe' venues. Avoidance is a much, much better strategy than confrontation - I think you handled your confrontation as well as anyone could have, but avoiding it entirely and sticking with your friends would have been so much better... I know you don't need to be reminded of that but it's a message that's worth repeating for everyone's benefit...

Just glad you're OK and really not badly injured... :bighug:

Katey x

[natcrys]

OMG :(

I'm so glad you're okay! And I'm also glad that you're able to see the good when something very horrible and evil has happened to you!

Whether TG or GG, we will always be a bit more vulnerable and likely targets of harassment (verbal and/or physical).. especially when we're by ourselves. And I don't care how bad-ass someone thinks he/she is.. if you're faced with 2 or more attackers.. chances of successfully defending yourself are low. I have more than 25 years of martial arts experience under my belt.. but I rarely go by myself as Tassia. Especially not in the evening... when I'm usually dressed for going out.. mini-dresses and high heels.

It's really really sad that is the reality for lots of women, whatever variety. But yeah, safety in numbers.

Hope you get well soon! Lotsa hugs and kisses! :hugs:

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Isha,
I'm so glad your, for the most part, OK after this.
Thank you for sharing this story with us, it just shows how careful
we need to be if we venture out.
Sounds like you handled these guys well, but left your 6 unguarded
at the wrong time. Did you get the names of any of those people that helped
you? They deserve a huge thank you from all of us.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[carrie2014]

Isha, I can only hope that you heel fast and not let this terrible experience change anything about who you are. To go through this terrible experience a second time to tell us about what happened to you takes real courage. I REALLY think that this is truly a wake up call to many ladies on this forum. After reading all the replies on this forum you will see just how many friends you have and feel so bad that someone like you or any other ladies have to go through this terible ordeal. feel better soon and remember all your friends are thinking about your speedy recovery.

[cdinmd206]

It is a shame what they did.

[AngelaYVR]

I was shocked as I read your story, Isha, what a horrible thing to happen. I admire your fortitude to not let it dampen your resolve to continue to go out and I can certainly understand your desire to not involve the police. It sounds as though the thugs left a trail that could help the police easily find them but I understand that it is your name and circumstances that go on the report.
I thank you for sharing this with us, to remind us to be careful, and I wish you the swiftest of recoveries. It is sad that it should have to happen to any of us.

Angela xox

[Andy66]

Aw, Isha, Im so sorry to hear what happened to you. Im glad those decent guys showed up when they did, and I am especially glad youre looking for the positive side.

[MissTee]

That was a terrible experience to have, Isha. I am so sorry it occurred. Clearly the trauma of living through that will impact you for some time to come, and it has to be an emotional roller-coaster as well. I don't see how it could not. Thank you for coming here to share your story and I hope all of us can provide you with some comfort.

I also hope your wife is doing OK. It has to be tough on her seeing you go through this. I know it said here often that going out dressed can make us targets for such. That's one of the things my wife brings up often when we talk of CD's presenting in public. It is a genuine fear of many. That's why I would favor reporting it as well. You were fortunate to be in n area where others could assist. I would think that without consequences these thugs would see it a a victory and perhaps escalate next time. Given that thugs will be thugs, there will be a next time for someone.

Again, I hope you get to feeling better soon, and that your family can continue to support you as they have. You bring a lot to this forum, Isha, and I appreciate your courage in sharing your journey -- good and not so good.

[Amy Fakley]

That is just horrible. It makes me so angry, thinking about it ... but the reality is that the world we live in contains this sort of terror as much contains all the wonderful experiences we read about more often.

I don't know what else to say, other than thank you so much for sharing your story, and I hope you recover soon.
God bless ya, Isha.

[CONSUELO]

I hope the scars, both physical and mental, heal quickly. That was a truly horrible thing to happen to you and I am shocked.

I suppose that in hindsight there is a lesson for us all to be ultra careful in all situations and to plan ahead to avoid any problems. Both you and your friends are probably kicking yourselves right now for not taking advantage of that lift. But who was to know that you would be attacked at all.

Get well very soon.

[Eringirl]

H-O-L-Y Crap!! That is absolutely horrific!! And not too far from my neck of the woods. I am so glad that you are okay with non life threatening injuries . Gentle :hugs: . And here I thought we were in a civilized area, but a really good wake up call for me. I think I will add a whistle to my key chain TODAY. I can only hope that Karma hits those idiots in the @ss. I suspect that Darwin is alive and living well and they are prime candidates for the next round of awards.

Take care of yourself, give things time to heal, both mentally and physically.

Chat soon,

Erin

[Linda Leigh]

Isha,
I am so sorry this terrible thing happened to you or anybody :( I know you will heal and return stronger and better!
Karma is a wonderful thing and if you will wait God might let you watch them get theirs :)

Hugs

Linda Leigh

[junetv]

My heart breaks for you. That is truly a hate crime. Stay as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside :)

[michelleddg]

Isha, my best thoughts are with you, and I thank you for your timely, sobering reminder on the eve of my out-of-town reminder. Hugs, Michelle

[Jenniferathome]

I'm glad you made out relatively ok. Never turn your back on a coward. Situational awareness is a must. Heal well

[Victoria Demeanor]

Isha,
Thank you for sharing, I literally cried as I read this. I am so glad that you are ok and that there were "people" there to come to your aid. Small minded cowards like that do pray on what the consider an easy target and three to one are never good odds. I'll be honest these days I do carry something with me even when in drab.
Oh my god girl I am so very glad that you are ok and that you are here to tell the story.
You take care
Love
Victoria D

[Leslie Langford]

Sorry to hear that you had to go through such a harrowing experience, Isha, and in the middle of town, on a Sunday, and in broad daylight to boot. But on the flip side, had this happened in some desolate, dark alley the outcome could have been much different, so there is a silver lining here. I am also encouraged by the fact that despite this severe blow to your ego, physical being, and otherwise sunny optimism, you choose to see the glass as being half full and put more weight on the actions of these Good Samaritans as opposed to the cowardly thugs who assaulted you when you reflected back on this incident. As the German philosopher Nietzsche once put it "That which doesn't kill me makes me stronger", and you are living proof of that dictum.

Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but with you living in Ottawa at the epicenter of "Harperland" and the institutionalized "meanness" that our country has been subjected to over the last several years - along with strong Federal governmental push-back on the expansion of LGBT rights - somehow I can't help but think that this mindset was a contributing factor in these punks giving themselves "permission" to single you out for their transphobic attack.

[mykell]

o. k. i couldnt let this go, just finished shoveling snow and it didnt help,
since the events started in the restaurant and they seemed to be there waiting when you left it came across as more of a hate crime when i thought more about it...
but they were eating with you and had to pay for theyre meals, since they dont seem to be the most advanced people about i doubt that they thought ahead to pay CASH and may have left a paper trail.....once you pinch one im sure youll find the deserving offender.....

just didnt think it would be so hard for you to find since you wouldnt have to rely on video footage....just a thought....

[Debra Russell]

A reality check for all of who venture out - it's not a question of "if" but "when" - the potential for hate is among us all, be careful and vigilant: Isha so glad you are still posting:hugs:.....................Debra

[flatlander_48]

Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but with you living in Ottawa at the epicenter of "Harperland" and the institutionalized "meanness" that our country has been subjected to over the last several years - along with strong Federal governmental push-back on the expansion of LGBT rights - somehow I can't help but think that this mindset was a contributing factor in these punks giving themselves "permission" to single you out for their transphobic attack.

It's never said in so many words, but the effect is that it legitimizes the thought process that anyone who looks different from me, acts different from me, worships different from me, believes different from me, is from a place that is different from me, etc. is automatically suspect and worthy of any bile that I can muster against them.

[docrobbysherry]

I'm sorry for your injuries, Isha. But, happy they weren't worse.

This is a good wake up call for u and the rest of us. As a man, I'm used to going in some tough areas without worrying. But, when dressed we need to think more like GG's. Not only mite we be mistaken for women in questionable locations? We mite be made by drunken, high, toughs who along with their cowardly buddies, mite enjoy beating up a "queer"!

When out late at nite, don't walk off in the dark alone! Be aware of others within sight at all times, even behind u. This happened to me once. But, it won't again!:doh:

[Vikky]

Hi Isha

That's awful - so glad you weren't too badly hurt. Here's wishing you a speedy physical recovery, and the full return of your confidence to go out dressed again..

Vikky

[Rachael Leigh]

Oh my Isha, so very sorry this happend and it's ashame there are people who just feel it's necessary to bully someone they don't agree with. This is true for most anything, I'm so glad your ok, and you are right while it should give us all pause when we go out it's best to always be aware no matter what. There are just mean people out there.
Hope your better soon.
Hugs Leigh

[Nadine Spirit]

I am happy that you did not get hurt more. Stupid people suck! I agree with your thoughts. Crappy things can happen at any time, not just when we are dressed.

[Amanda M]

Reading your post saddened me Isha. Firstly of course, that someone I think of as a friend, someone who can be inspirational had to gothrough what you did. Now, we all know that you are not - how shall I put it - a pushover. Nevertheless, I'm relieved that in that awful situation, good sense prevailed. Sometimes, the odds are to great.

All of that said, I hope you heal soon, and please, give my (love, hugs - whatever is appropriate to your wonderful wife.

With you, Amanda

[Jennifer-GWN]

Isha;

I am so sorry to hear of your troubles this weekend both physically as well as mentally. Your courage and strength for posting again shows us all the incredible depth in character you have.

This also comes as a wake up call or reality check for all of us. It's so easy to fall into a sense of comfort with ourselves and we don't have the naturally engrained that mothers impart to their daughters as they grow up. We all too easily fall into our own pink fog sense of security and this is a clear example that we always have to be on guard and aware of our surroundings.

Take care of yourself... The physical scars will heal soon... The emotional scars will take a bit longer but we all know you are one tough chick.

Be well... Jennifer

[Bria]

Wow Isha, that is a bit scary, I'm glad no permanent damage was done and you will recover, quickly I hope. I thank you for the reality check. Was it after dark when you were returning to your car?

Should you have turned to keep an eye on the d-bags. It seems that your could only attach from behind, back shooters. I'm glad some came to your defense, the whole world is a@@holes!

Hugs, Bria

[bimini1]

Horrible just horrible. I shutter to think what might have happened if those passer bys didn't show up when they did. Scary stuff but a needed wake up call for us all. No matter how many times you go out successfully, it only takes one time for things to go downhill very fast. Usually when you least expect it. If I ever make it out again I am sure this story will be in the back of, or front of my mind.

[Pat]

So here I sit nursing a thrown back (went out when I fell) and few bruised ribs and various bruises not to mention a bruised ego and feeling stupid for putting myself in such a situation.


It was not your fault. No part of it was your fault. Do not accept any part of the blame. It was 100% on the people who did it.

I'm very sorry to hear what happened. I hope you heal quickly.

xxx,
Jennie

[Jamie Christopher]

My goodness Isha, just echoing sentiments left already, but gosh: "glad you're alright" just doesn't seem to cut it. I hope there was video surveillance so these thugs get taken down. Anyway, good luck and God speed towards your eventual recovery. Maybe the sentiment is safety in numbers when possible.... but I know that's tough for many. We all love you!

Best,

Jamie

[Julie Denier]

I am glad you were not more seriously hurt. It's mind-boggling that people like this exist, those with lives so shallow they somehow find hate and terror a worthwhile activity. I like to think karma has a way of catching up with scum like that ...

[AmyVanessa]

I'm sorry that happened, wishing you a speedy recovery.
Good on those who helped you though

[Gardener]

Truly disgraceful. As you say, absolute cowards. I doubt that any words will speed the physical recovery or diminish the pain. What I hope is that the combined disgust of those who write strengthens your resolve not to be cowed by such brutish behaviour. Good wishes.

[TinaZ]

...
Sounds like you handled these guys well, but left your 6 unguarded
at the wrong time. ...
Much Love,
Kristyn

Isha - I'm so sorry about this horrible experience, but sharing it just proves your commitment to helping our community and I can't thank you enough!

Kristyn's point is a good one for everyone to keep in mind. I studied martial arts for 15ish years and one of the best rules for safety in public is NEVER give your back to the opponent. I know it's so much easier to say than to do, but please keep that in mind everyone if you go out. If something awful happens, you're so much better off if you're facing the bad guys.

[UNDERDRESSER]

Well, glad you're not hurt worse. If you ever face them in court, maybe ask the judge to offer them the opportunity to face you one on one as their punishment? You know, just to highlight the fact that their macho attitude is just a way of covering their lack of courage. Kicking, it's always kicking with these worms. You, on the other hand, never seem to be short of courage. ( all kinds! )

[Alice Torn]

Isha, Very sad to hear such happens above the USA border, too. Glad you have no broken bones, or skull. Those morons were attacking one who took bullets in war, saving another patriot, for their country! We can always say what we would do in such a situation, but we really never know, until in one. It always anger amd frustrates me so much, when i hear of people who have served the country over seas in war, come back, only to be beaten or killed by homeland thugs. The thugs get all the news, too often, and the many helpful decent people are too often overlooked. Thankfully, there are still decent folks willing to move out of their comfort zones, to assist others. I agree with others who have said to report this crime. Let's get them booked before they go after you or others.

[Jaymees22]

Dear Isha, I'm really sorry this happened to you, you seem so nice and are a valued member here. Hopefully we will all learn from your unfortunate experience. Realizing one can never be to careful is very important. Hope you get better soon and continue on your adventures more cautiously. Hugs Jaymee

[JessMe]

Isha, I'd first like to say that I'm extremely glad that you weren't more seriously injured! Secondly, I'd like to say that I'm thankful that some people are still decent enough to stand up for someone else in need. The respect and compassion that was shown by those who came to your aide is something this world could really use a lot more of!
...not to hijack the thread, but I have to say that it saddens me that some people can't just live and let live. I'm not saying that everyone needs to agree or support everything others do, but why resort to violence, threats, slurs, etc. Against someone who is just trying to live life and does no harm? ...It's things like this that keep me from presenting as Jessica in the outside world.
I commend your bravery for being authentic to yourself, but please be careful!

Hugs!!!

[JocelynJames]

I echo what everyone e has said in that I'm glad your ok. It does make me think twice about going out dressed as I am yet to do. So many of us see you here and I think I speak for the group in saying you bring a lot to the group. Heal quickly- Joss

[Samantha Clark]

This is just awful, Isha. So lucky you weren't hurt worse and that decent people came to your rescue. A sobering reminder to everyone.

It may be easier said than done but I want to echo what Mikell said about reporting this to the police who can follow any paper trail they left behind.

[ophelia]

Isha, Very sad to hear such happens above the USA border, too.

Above the USA border? Really? I am increasingly more and more cynical as far as the myth of my Canada's niceness.
Do not pretend for a second that there are any fewer weak and prejudiced minds and attitudes per capita in Canada. And I believe it is getting worse, not better. For the sake of ISIS protection laws are being voted in to further reduce out civil liberties. And my recent interactions with, and recent stories about Ottawa cops, not en femme, don't give me much confidence in fair treatment from them.
There is a thirty-year old copy of a book called "Defendo" on our bathroom reading stand.
Most of the book deals with avoiding dangerous situations.
Sadly, the world is far more backward than we think and we alone must be increasingly aware of and responsible for our own safety.

[Jean 103]

Isha, I am sorry to hear about your attack. I hope you make a full recovery. Thou there is really nothing I can do for you, know that you are in my prayers. I’m as guilty as most thinking like a guy, not thinking of being attacked. I am going to buy some spray today. The restaurant probably has video of them. Love Jean

[Tina_gm]

I am very sorry for your difficult and painful experience.

[Genny B]

Isha,
Thank you for sharing your story! It really struck me and brought serious thoughts to other post I have read here. Your story had my blood going and I wish I had been there as a male to kick some butt! That is significant in itself! Many of us have been asked if we really stand up for T rights. I will now! Your story really made me think and I'll still try to go out occasionally! Thank you for sharing!

Genny B

[Dianne S]

Isha,

I'm really sorry that happened. I'm glad you're basically OK physically and hope you'll heal quickly emotionally as well. I also urge you to report this; it was a hate crime.

Responding to another person:


Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but with you living in Ottawa at the epicenter of "Harperland"

I think you are reading too much into it. I live in Ottawa and it's extremely LGBT-friendly. By and large, Ottawa voters do not support Harper and even those that do tend to support a conservative economic and foreign policy platform rather than the mean-spirited social conservative agenda you find in the remnants of Reform.

The sad fact is that even in a largely tolerant and accepting community like Ottawa, there are always some haters and they can make life horrible for the people on the edges of society.

[Tonya Rose]

Isha, I am really sorry you had to expierence that.
And thank you for your courage in sharing it with all of us.
I`m sure it will be on everyones mind while out enfemme. and make us all a bit more conciouse of our surroundings.
Thus preventing it from happening to another sister mabey.:hugs:
Tonya,

[Jenniferathome]

... it's not a question of "if" but "when" -

no Debra, it is not 'when'. Encountering a troglodyte who wants to embarrass may be a 'when' but a beating is not. A-holes like this are looking for a fight regardless of presentation but as long as they outnumber.

[Stephanie47]

There are dirt bags galore. Too many! They are cowards and travel in groups. I don't know the laws of every state. but, Washington State is pretty good with recognizing every person Second Amendment rights!

[Jennifer Devine]

Sorry to hear this Isha and I hope you are ok x
Unfortunately in this day and age we still get our fair share of idiots who can't seem to leave well enough alone.
I haven't been out myself yet but if I did I would have a friend with me at all times to be safe and probably best to go to busier places where you just blend in with everyone else.

[Barbara Dugan]

They are lower than cowards, doing that to a sweet decent lady.

[Kandi Robbins]

Not much to add to what the other girls have said, how sickening. When I read stories like this the male ego inside me just wants to beat those idiots senseless (and I'm pretty sure the rage inside of me would make that very probable), but that would make me no better than them. Thank you for the dose of reality and let's hope that stories like this continue to be fewer and fewer. Isha, you will be in my thoughts, that's for sure.

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Isha,
Since reading this thread this morning, I been thinking about your
situation off and on all day.
I know you said these three had made some pretty vial comments, and I don't blame you
for making the comment about taking one of them to the hospital with you.
I'm just wondering if there was any attempt at all on your part to diffuse the whole thing with
words, or if your immediate thought was to go into fight mode.
I'm not sure what the hate crime laws are up there, but in the states they are varied from state to state,
and hard to interpret, let alone enforce. Regardless of what type of crime was committed, this still is a crime!
It doesn't sound as if you are interested in pressing the matter, I think you said "what is to be gained ?"
Think about the "Butterfly Effect", you could possibly be saving someone else from having to go through such
a horrible experience. I realize it would become a public affair if this were to end up in courtroom, but you seem
to me to be one that could go through with it.
Please discuss this with your wife, and consider reporting this.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Michelle (Oz)]

Thanks for posting Isha. Your frightening experience is a reality check to take care. It is easy with over confidence to slip into bad safety habbits. Heal quickly.

[Donnagirl]

OMG Isha....

Bet the hurt to your pride is almost as bad as the physical...

At least a few valuable lessons can be learned. (And I'm sure I'm only stating the bleeding obvious!)

1. Safety in numbers... A group may attract verbal abuse but the threat of physical abuse is reduced.

2. Time spent in reconnaissance is rarely wasted... Plan parking, infile and exile routes, possible ambush sites, etc

3. The best training, experience or confidence is no match for multiple attackers, or even one suitabley drunk or drugged. (And that does not take into consideration heels, skirts, restrictive clothing...) As you show, the chance of even token retaliation rarely presents.

4. Escape is best, embryo position tightly held is the only position to adopt if cornered or downed... (And I'm sure you know how lucky you were. Single punches can kill!)

I'm sure those of us that regularly venture into the vanilla world lull ourselves into a false sense of security. Your recount serves well to remind us all that the potential exists for all of us to suffer a similar fate.

Get well soon...

Hugs,

Donna

[HollySmtms]

Dear Isha, I am so sorry that you had to endure this horrendous act of hatred and violence. You are wonderful and STRONG, and your body and mind will heal. My thoughts and support are with you, Hugs, Holly

[Princess29]

I wish you a speedy recovery

[Dana does shopping]

Horror, this is unacceptable in a civilized society!

[Mark/Rebecca]

Isha, you are one of the sweetest girls on the forum, and are always positive. I hope and pray that you dont lose any of that innocence and sweetness from this. We ALL LOVE YOU!!

[alwayshave]

Isha, I am so sorry that you were attached. I believe that you should report it in an attempt to help others. Given they may have paid with a credit card at the restaurant they may be trackable. Finally, your ego should not be bruised. 3-1 and they did not even have the guts to take you from the front. I'd be pissed, but my ego would not be bruised.

[marilyn m]

really sorry to hear isha
if you believe in karma as i do they will get what is coming to them
hope you recover soon x

[Shelly Preston]

Like everyone here I am sorry to hear this happened to you Isha. I do hope you recover quickly.

I cant add a lot to what has already been said.

I do hope you eventually manage to meet the guys who came to your aid.

I am sure they deserve a nice thank you drink for the kindness they have shown you.

[debbeelee1]

Wow, that's a bummer. So glad you weren't seriously hurt, it could have been much worse. I'm not passable, but I get out a few times a month. I'm a big believer in safety in numbers! Stick with your friends the next time! I'd still file a police report.

[LauraOTN]

I am amazed and saddened by these events. I would really like it if there were no evil in the world, but there is.
Thank you for sharing them. It's not just the good parts of life that enrich our experiences. The sharing brings us all closer.

[Lorileah]

Hope you mend quickly Isha, Sometimes no matter what you do things go awry. I have learned that no matter how safe you think you are, you aren't. One thing we learn when presented with an animal that is redirecting or acting as fear aggressive, is back away, keep watching them. These guys were basically acting as a pack mentality and in real life are probably more fearful alone,

I always park as close as I can when I go out. I am always looking. I keep a hand in my pocket or purse (they don't know what is in there) and if offered I always allow someone to walk me out. I am 6 feet tall 185 pounds, you would think I would be less a target, but it isn't true.I learned albeit not as hard as you did.

You can always tell stupid. You can't tell them much but you can tell. You ask what good does it do to report it? It may save someone else just because it will increase awareness by the police of the potential in the area. Yeah it's a one in a million shot but maybe, just maybe that one will come in.

Feel better soon :hugs:

[Alice Torn]

Ophelia, We almost never , on the media here, hear any Canadian news, unless it is something big. Not even much about weather up thar! i have know of Canada being a bit less crime ridden. But, i guess lawlessness, and meanness are alive and well EVERYWHERE.

[Angie G]

I'm so glad it wasn't as bad as it may have been Isha. Some jurks don't deserveto be called humam. They will someday get theres.:hugs:
Angie

[Allisa]

I don't know what to say that hasn't already been said. I'm sending healing vibes your way and I think your wake up call has been received by all who read it. Recover soon we all need your smile.

[steftoday]

So sorry to read of this. Please take care and heal quickly!

[Danielle_cder]

Oh my god.

[justmetoo]

Thank you for sharing this with us openly and honestly. It's true anyone can be subjected to attacks, no matter how they are dressed. I sad it happened to you (or anyone). You did what you could given the circumstances. (I'm well-versed in the "fetal position" defense from years gone by - when I wasn't en femme, just subjected to almost daily attacks for other reasons)
I think the personal violation and feelings of not being safe are the hardest parts to overcome. I guess therapy can help, and learning from the experience.

sadness :(

[Caden Lane]

Isha, I am so sorry to hear of this incident. I hope you mend quickly. Your story reminded me of the dangers that still exist out there, and reiterated my resolve to always travel with protection. It also reminded me to always try to travel in groups, or have a wingman as it were to watch my back. Take care friend.

Ever & Always,
Caden Lane

[Maria 60]

I hate to say it, but the story had to be told. The same way we tell our children to watch out for this and watch out for that, we must tell our selfs to watch out for this and watch out for that. It's to bad it had to be a living experience, I weigh a heavy heart for you while reading this thread, and anger. I hope in time you can get passed this and move forward. I am sorry this had to happen to you, but as hard as it must of been to tell this story I am glade you did to remind us, dressed or not dressed its not always a pleasant and safe world. Hope you get well soon and hope you keep us updated on your recovery. I don't know what else to say to make you feel better.

[Jilmac]

Isha, it's unfortunate that you were confronted by the three boors, your wounds and ego will heal but people like them will never change. There will always be hate and prejudice by those who believe that others who don't live up to their standards, are lesser human beings, However they are living proof that the neanderthal age still exists.

[rocketscientist]

I don't want to beat a dead horse Isha, but I have to express my relief that your ordeal was not worse than it was too. Also I want to say that I am with those who say that the scum responsible needs to be stopped. If it happened to you, chances are it has happened before and or will happen again. These guys think they got away with it and will believe they can do it again. I gotta wonder how many others have been their victims.

[justmetoo]

I think there are a few lessons for all of us here:
1. anyone can be attacked - try to stay as safe as you can
2. bad things can happen to good people no matter what you do - I think a key point here is, it's not the victim's fault
3. there are good decent people - and I think/hope they are the majority

[Stephanie Sometimes]

Oh my Isha, this is really dreadful. I am so glad you have gotten out of this with what you describe as temporary wounds from the cowards. Thank goodness for the kind strangers that interceded.

I do want to add my thanks to you for openly sharing your story as it makes us all more aware of the dangers that we can face. Dangers we may not be as aware of in our male experience as we should be.

It sure strikes me that even with your combat and MMA experience that you were still subject to this outcome because of the 3 to 1 ratio of force involved. That’s sobering to desk jockeys like me without the related experience. I suspect that being en femme mode you were at some level caught “out of context” for a physical confrontation and further disadvantaged from the start as a result?

Thanks again and best of luck to heal quickly!
Hugs,
Steph

[Shayna]

Glad to hear you are safe

[PaulaQ]

I'm really sorry this happened to you Isha. I've known others who have faced similar situations, and awful as this was, sadly it could have been worse. I'm really glad that it wasn't. I hope you get to feeling better soon. My heart breaks that this happened to you, you are such a nice person.

Transphobia is real, folks, and there are those out there who will do us harm. This is extra bonus harm, over and above the usual harm that is targeted to women. (We get that too.) Some people go looking for us even, meaning to do harm.

So just imagine living your life, and having to watch for something like that everywhere you go, 100% of the time. I don't know how this would've been handled had you called the law - it's clearly a hate crime. In Texas, though, it would merely have been an assault. There are no hate crimes defined by law against trans people. Violence against is is excluded from such a classification.

Probably the safest thing you could've done - and I'm not criticizing you at all Isha, would've been to return to your vehicle, if possible, and go elsewhere. I've had to do that before. If that isn't possible, dialing 911 on your phone and telling the people about it before they attacked might have made them think twice. Failing those things - you may well have not had time to mess with your phone - you really did the best thing you could've done.

I'm so sorry.

[Della]

What to say is difficult. No person, regardless of anything that sets them apart, deserves such treatment. I hope you are "okay," not just physically, but truly okay. You are far, far braver than I. And you have my utmost respect for who you are and what I see through this site. I wish I could be so bold, not just with the incident you described, but in life.

I haven't read other responses, but I bet many say, to some extent, "thank you, Isha," for being you.

[grace7777]

Hi Isha, I am so sorry to hear about what happened to you, and hope you heal fast.

Your story makes me realize that I cannot take my personal safety for granted. At times I know I do that. I have never been a victim of violence while dressed en femme, but there were 2 incidents a couple of years where I was fortunate not to have had anything bad happen to me.

[Tracii G]

I'm glad you didn't get hurt really bad or even worse.
I think its best to relay encounters like that here just for educational reasons.
Always watch whats around you and stay vigilant.

[Sarah Louise]

Hi Isha, I'm shocked and sad to hear of this. What a bunch of cowards, but i m so glad some decent folk came to your rescue. I hope you feel better soon. Sarah

[jaleecd]

Isha, very sad to read of your incident. Please report this to the authorities, this type of assault needs to have the light of day shown on it. these creeps need to be drug out from under their rocks and shown for the cowards that they are.
We pray for a speedy recovery and peace to you and yours.

[Dorit]

However, as bad as it was it could have been worse and what I took away was not as some may think . . . that going out dressed is dangerous. Going out anytime regardless of how you present is dangerous . . . this could have been just as easily a mugging. What I learned is that irrespective of the haters out there, there are those who are decent and will help regardless of how they see you.

First, I am happy it was not worse and I hope that your healing will be swift. I agree with your larger perspective on the attack. Being Jewish can be dangerous, being Black can be dangerous, being Muslim can be dangerous, being White can be dangerous. You have reminded us all of the hatred and intolerance out there, it is sobering, but we cannot be led by fear.

[Marcelle]

Hi all,

Thanks very much for your kind words and support. The physical pain is subsiding and I am sure I will heal quickly (albeit not as quickly as when I was younger :)). As many have pointed out, the biggest thing that bothers me is that I broke every rule of physical confrontations, number one . . . never show your back to a would be attacker. I should have just let them walk away before turning and that is the hardest thing I have to contend with in my mind . . . stupid, stupid, stupid. Oh well, live and learn and that mistake will not be made again.

WRT reporting to the police while I have not dismissed the idea out of hand, there are other mitigating factors which dissuade me in doing so. Primarily while in theory this could be construed as a hate crime, legally, it is plain and simple assault. While a Bill is moving through Parliament which would make such a deed a hate crime, it is not there right now so my report would be under the guise of simple assault. I have lots of friends in law enforcement and I have consulted with them in this regard and while they all believe I should report it just to get it on paper, they also provide me with the reality of this process. One friend, on his own initiative did some background checking (the same he would do if investigating). The individuals paid cash for their drinks and dinner . . . so no paper trail. The serving staff at the restaurant remember the guys in question but only from the perspective of three white guys of various non descript features and they do not appear to regulars as none of the staff have seen them before. There were no surveillance cameras in the restaurant or the parking lot. So the chances of finding these guys is slim. Alas, there would be no CSI team to follow-up on leads nor any sting operation to see if they pop back up on the radar. It would be investigated and most likely wind up as unresolved pending more evidence.

Now say they did manage to find these guys and even if it was not plea bargained down to assault with probation and wound up in court, I would have to face them in court to which I am not concerned. However, my wife is concerned that should they walk (which they most likely will) they will know who I am and now I have placed my wife in a precarious position of being in danger for retribution or payback. Yes I may sound paranoid and I am not saying this would happen but you never know and to be honest, I don't want to run that risk. This could also end up in the media and while I am open with my life choice I am not prepared to be a national poster child yet. All this to say, a report is not off the table but I need time to think and reflect on all the knock on effects before making that decision.

The guys who helped really wanted no thanks they were more angry at the D-Bags than I was . . . hence my renewed faith in humanity. I will heal, life will go on and all will be well. Will these guys do it again? I can't answer that question. I did note a hint of beer induced courage in all of them so it could have been the booze but it also could have just been pure hate. My desire now is to put this behind me, heal and go on with life as it is too precious to waste ruminating on the "what ifs". :)

Thanks again

Hugs

Isha

[PaulaQ]

The reason to make a report would be in the case where these guys do this again, but this time get caught. Another witness testifying against them (you) could reduce their chances of walking. Even if you didn't appear in court, the prosecutor might be much less inclined to offer them much of a plea bargain if you also ID'd them in a line up.

I also understand not wanting to be further involved in this, and your concerns about your wife's safety. Those are valid reasons to not report it.

A lot of us who are trans never report crimes against us.

[Amanda L.]

Hi Isha
When I heard the news I felt compelled to break my exile from here to offer my heartfelt sympathy for what you experienced. Nobody deserves to be treated like, especially a kind and compassionate person like you. I hope your recovery is swift and complete , both physical and psychological.
Please take care
Love
Amanda x

[CostaRicaRachel]

That is terrible. I really don't understand why things like this happen.
I don't understand these people. I really feel sorry for you and I hope
this does not change the way you are living. I never think something like
this could happen to me, but this shows it could happen to anyone.
I really don't know what the proper reaction is. If we change the way we
live, they win.

[Jenny Elwood]

Sad to hear of your ordeal Isha, hope it goes better soon.

[Brandi Lesalle]

Isha, my heart goes out to you. It is very difficult to read a first hand account of an assault, especially from such a positive and loving person. Wishing you a speedy recovery in body and spirit!

[Teresa]

Isha,
You are the last person something like this should happen to, I know it was always your wife's fear and I'm so sorry it's happened to such a good and caring person !
You greet and make so many newcomers feel safe on the forum, you have fought for rites with the military possibly at your own expense and you have trained to defend your country to protect mindless thugs amongst them, Then they turn and mindlessly attack you !
I can understand your reluctance to involve the law , the only downside is will that little group keep on doing it to others ? How far will they go next time if no one comes to the rescue ! Maybe you should rethink that one Isha, perhaps you shouldn't put it down to a bad experience because others may suffer at their hands again !
I know it's easy to sit at a keyboard and say these things we weren't there and don't have the scrapes and bruises to show for it !
Please get well soon and take care Isha !

[claire1d]

Isha, this is so frightening, I am so glad you are ok. I admire your resolve to be who you are, you are such an inspiration to me.
Get well and take care of yourself

-Claire

[Alice Torn]

Isha. I doubt if any of those guys would have attacked or verbalized at you, had he been alone. The "mob", or "gang" mentality, PLUS ALCOHOL, can make a group of MEN into MONSTERS, all too often, when a TRIGGER presents his or herself, or, like an unlocked car. Maybe these hooligans will sober up, and maybe one of them will sometime regret what they did. Groups of young men and alcohol, will sometimes do terrible things, as we all know. I did my share of regretable, evil things with a gang of guys as a teen. I hope these misled young men, have a wake up call, and change their thinking, and if jail is it, so be it. You sound like a very intelligent person, who gets the facts, and I know you know all this. Just adding a thought.

[Melissa in SE Tn]

The forum cries with you. I am hoping that this ordeal does not cause problems between you and your wife now that one of her worst fears about cding has materialized. Much peace, mel

[MsVal]

Thank you for posting your thoughts Isha. I am thankful to read that while the beating bruised your body and your ego, it has not dimmed your spirit.

The contrarian view:
With nothing solid to go by, it appears unlikely that the thugs will be apprehended. If they are, you risk putting your wife and yourself in harms way by pressing charges in a case which would probably net very little gain. The noble thing would seem to be to pursue justice, but at what cost? Who would really be harmed the most by taking this to court?

Looking at the risk/reward analysis of whether or not to file a report seems to show that filing involves some amount of risk, with little tangible reward whereas not filing provides much greater reward and very little risk.

Heal quickly my friend.

Best wishes
MsVal

[Natasha V]

Sorry to see one of my Sisters hurt hunn I hope you heal pretty quickly and karma will catch up to those scum of earth. I will definitely take your advice and be very aware of future outings. I will be praying for your quick recovery.. God bless you hunn...

[kimdl93]

As you have experienced more concretely than most of us, going out en femme can expose you to danger. It's interesting to observe that the outcome may have been different if you had made couple of different choices, such taking tansit or accepting the ride to your car. But as you observed, muggings happen. These cowards sought you out....perceiving vulnerability. They might have fixated on another target if you hadn't been there at that moment.

And in the same moment that you'd experienced the worst of human nature, you also experienced the best of it.

My take away isn't fear of being presenting as TG In publi. It does reinforce the necessity of maintaining situational awareness even in relatively benign environments.

[charlenesomeone]

Isha this is so sickening. I add my hope for a quick recovery.
Tender hugs

[vicky_cd99_2]

Isha so glad to hear you are healing. Sorry this had to happen to you. Alcohol plus the numeric superiority made these punks very brave. You said it yourself you turned your back to a threat. Girls this is a lesson to all of us who happen to step outside the house, never turn your back to a potential threat. We all must be aware of our surroundings. When walking keep your head up and eyes moving.

Isha I am so glad you weren't hurt worse. Heal up quick. Stay safe.

[Connie61]

So sorry to hear this happened to you. Glad you are healing.

[Melissa Anne]

Isha,
I'm so sorry for your horrible experience. I'm glad you are ok (relatively speaking) and wish you a speedy recovery. I wish you would reconsider reporting this to the police. These thugs need to be brought to justice. Maybe it's too late now, I don't know.

[ReineD]

Wow. I am so, so sorry this happened to you. :sad:

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[Danitgirl1]

This is awful.
I am so sorry that this happened to you.
A good reminder to us all to stay safe at all times.
Hope you are not in too much pain.
:hugs:

[Ameli]

I'm so sorry this happened to you.

[Bria]

Isha, I definitely respect your choice regarding the possibility of going to court and potentially placing your wife in jeopardy. Sometimes it is best to let it go even when you would very much like to see the D-bags get their just deserts!

Sometimes we just learn form our mistakes, at least we hope so! I sure do hate having to learn the same thing twice, been there, done that!

I'm glad you are feeling better.

Hugs, Bria

[PinkieM]

Hope you are feeling better Def should have reported it,

[StarrOfDelite]

There's nothing I can say that hasn't already been expressed by others, except toadd that I also am distressed and sad that you were victimized. Best wishes for a speedy recovery from the injuries you sustained.

[Dana Nichole]

How awful. I Hope you have a speedy recovery.

[Carmen]

OMG! Isha I'm very sorry about this...how I wish that I could have been there to even up the odds against those thugs!
Thankfully someone came to your rescue. I could hug them!
This is a crime no matter what. Perhaps a long jail sentence is their karma.
Best wishes for a good recovery sis.

[Kevyn53]

Isha, This is the kind of thing that scares us all back into a closet. Your courage to keep keeping on is what keeps the rest of us in heels.

[char GG]

Isha- I am so sorry to hear this story. I hope you feel better soon!

[Sarah-RT]

what a horrible story, frightening aswell but the ending to it helps to remind that there are good,decent people in this world.
Hope your feeling better and on the road to recovery

[Isabella Ross]

Isha...just came across this thread, as I haven't been here for a few days. As others have already said, you're the last person this should have happened to. I am so sorry. I tend to think that this sort of thing never happens here in Canada...we're a pretty accepting bunch. But there are always exceptions. Sadly, it makes me realize that danger does lurk. Get well soon.

[Amy Lynn3]

Isha, I'm sure it would add insult to your injury if you reported this to the police. At best, another attack could have taken place in the same area and the police could link the two. Even if the thugs were caught, I doubt they would get more than a slap on the wrist. It is a shame that is the way it is, but I do understand you not reporting it. I just thank God you are going to be fine again and we know karma will get them. Feel better soon.:hugs:

[BillieAnneJean]

Isha,
How terrible. I am so sorry to hear this. They obviously were cowards as they attacked from your blind side.

This is precisely why I feel much safer going out with our Group The Grand Illusions
http://www.crossdressersmichigan.com

My heart so very much goes out to you. I can imagine the thoughts that will go through your mind.
I too have been beat up and for a long time I felt fear and had bad dreams. It was mostly because of my race and occasionally because of religion, WAY before I dressed. But the leftovers are similar.

So when I say I understand, I truly do. I am SO sorry.

And forgive, but time will heal. Mostly.
Hugs!

[Michelle 78]

Hi Isha,

I'm utterly disgusted by the way you have been treated by this pack of animals, because they are not men they are cowards nothing else. When I walk down the street I couldn't care if somebody was gay, lesbian, trans, disabled or of a different religion or anything else, it's their life and their business, I wouldn't discriminate against anybody. But there is still a minority out there that think such things can justify beating or killing somebody for that. This is supposed to be the 21st century!! Our family's fought two world wars for freedom of speech and equality and this happens to people in this day and age. Totally unacceptable.

Isha you are a really nice person and I was so shocked when I read you post yesterday, please don't let these small minded scum stop you from ever being yourself, it's your life, live it how you want to and don't let cowards win.

Please get well soon Isha, take care

Many hugs

Michelle

[Karen R!]

My word what an awful thing to happen to you. Awful to anyone. You need to make a report with the police right away. This at least needs a paper trail started. If it happened to you it could happen to anyone at anytime. The report may be a starting point toward these criminals or maybe its happened before and this may be the link needed to stop them.
Do get well soon and remember it was not in anyway your fault.

Karen

[Dawn cd]

Je suis Isha. You are not alone, girl.

[JustineFallow]

Damn, Isha--my sympathies. I'm glad you're healing well, mentally and physically. Your concerns are understandable, re: reporting this and you'll get no tsk-tsking from me for that.

I didn't realize you were another Canuck.

[Marleena]

I'm sorry to hear about your bad experience Isha. You encountered some cowards with strength in numbers. I doubt any of them are brave enough to start anything on their own. I'm just glad you'll be okay and that had to be scary! It's a good thing those other guys came to your rescue.

As far as a hate crime, it definitely was! Unfortunately I doubt the police would do much unless pressured by the news media or a lawyer. We have rights and protections but unfortunately we have to use them after the fact. I see the laws as more of a lip service.

[suspender]

Hi Isha, educate it does. I do not post often but felt it worth it since I have been through similar. About five years back in Footscray it happened to me here in Melbourne, the difference being I did not make it to dinner. Romper Stomper is a movie about the neo types taking on (bashing) other ethnicities in the same suburb, however, it was me at the hands and feet of these type of thugs that evening and the only difference was I was dressed up. I wont go into the details to say that I got my own back on the first one to invade my space, but its hard when you are way outnumbered. The result is that I am much more reserved when I go out and selective of where I go and where I park. So much for freedom in a democratic society. Sorry to hear you went through what you did. Bigotry is alive and well in the 21st century.

[Paula_Femme]

What a horrible thing to happen to someone like yourself, I do hope you're recovering, both in body AND spirit!

In todays follow-up post you said, "I did note a hint of beer induced courage in all of them so it could have been the booze but it also could have just been pure hate." I've always said that if you want to see someone as they really are, get them blind drunk. Alcohol doesn't make you do a damned thing, it strips away your inhibitions, and looses the real you on the World, warts and all, so I would go with the "pure hate" in this particular instance.

But on the plus side, there are good, decent people in this World; I like to think they may just outnumber the scumbags, and I'm glad there were a few on-hand when you needed them! :)

[~Joanne~]

Isha, I am sorry to hear about this :( I wish the world was a better place but unfortunately it's not. This could have happened to anyone, if they hadn't singled you out, they surely probably would have some one else. Your a big girl, I am not going to tell you if you should report it or not. Is it the right thing to do? probably BUT depending on how far "out" you are, is it worth the risk even if they find these idiots to make them pay for their crime, and yes, it was a crime.

The only mistake I see that you made was you turned your back on them and I wouldn't have. If they made that much effort to follow you they surely weren't just walking away. I understand hindsight is 20/20 and from MY view it's easier to see. I am just glad that your ok for the most part and this encounter hasn't changed your view as to being yourself.

I am really glad though that you chose to share what happened with the rest of the community and whoever views this in large. We read about all the great trips out, how easy it is to do, and how positive it is but never enough of the bad experiences to help sister's keep on their toes or observe the warning signs so they do not become a victim of hate crimes or worse. Thank you!

[Jason+]

Isha,

Glad you hear you are recovering. Thank you for the timely reminder and education that I wish had not come at your (or anybody's) expense.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Isha

It must have been very difficult to tell that story, but I'm glad you did. It should serve as a warning to all of us the think like a girl in situations like this. These guys were really bullies, because they were not looking to make a fair fight of it.

I'm still of the opinion that you should report it. since there's no hate crime law, it's a simple assault and you could potentially report it without discussing how you were dressed. When I was in elementary school, I was beat up by a bully. He stood head and shoulders above me, and coul have easily beat me in a fair fight. In site of that, he felt it necessary to attack m from behind when my hands were in my pocket. The police were called. In this case, I knew my attacker by name and could have file charges against him. The police talked my dad out of filing charges because it could make me a target for retaliation. I always wished I had filed charges, but I was young enough that I didn't really know my rights.

I have a very relevant story for you. Last year at the Keystone Conference I met Kristin Beck, the former Navy Seal. I was talking to a friend and said, "Kristin is one T-Girl who doesn't have to worry about being beat up because she is trans." In fact, in a fair fight, it might have been even odds between Kristen and your 3 attackers. i'd like to emphasize that I said fair fight. However, I was told that someone did old **** Kristen with an attack from behind. So if a former Navy Seal i vunerable, than every trans girl is.

I'm very glad that you weren't hurt worse -- they could have had knives, and I wish you a speedy recovery.

[Michelle789]

Isha,

I am really sorry to hear this happened to you Isha. It's really disgusting and these individuals are cowards. They aren't men, and they aren't animals, nor are they retarded. Calling them as such would be an insult to every decent man, animal, and mentally retarded individual out there. They are cowards, douchebags, criminals, and the scum of the earth, as is anyone who feels a need to inflict violence on another human being.

This is also a reminder that you need not be TS, you need not be on hormones, you need not be transitioning nor living full-time, to become a victim of transphobic violence. Anyone cross-dresser, or part-timer, who walks outside the house en femme faces being a victim of a transphobic hate crime. The only reason these hate crimes seem to happen more to TSes is we have to live full-time, while a CDer only dresses occasionally. But when the CDer or gender fluid person ventures out in public dressed as a woman, you're just as risk as a full-time TS. Oh, and this can happen to transmen too.

Oh, and if we're not clocked we still face the same risk of sexual assault and harassment that GG's face. And even if you're not initially clocked, you might get clocked mid-way through an attack.

Isha, I hope you feel better and don't let these bullies stop you from going out. Be strong, brave, and continue on your journey to embrace living authentically.



You said it yourself you turned your back to a threat. Girls this is a lesson to all of us who happen to step outside the house, never turn your back to a potential threat. We all must be aware of our surroundings. When walking keep your head up and eyes moving.

This is probably the best advice I've seen.


Alcohol plus the numeric superiority made these punks very brave.

A coward using alcohol can become a much greater threat, but one of us under the influence becomes a much greater target.

[MissTee]

Glad to hear an update from you Isha. I respect your careful consideration of what is best for you AND your family in choosing to report or not. That is very wise.

Years ago my wife and I were out for a date and some lunatic decided to make us a target. Never understood why. He attempted to run us off the road with his car, and harassed us in every way imaginable as we tried to avoid his assaults on the highway. We finally turned off, and found a restaurant. Unbeknown to us he followed at a distance, and when we exited the car and were walking toward the restaurant he tried to run us down. Again, we had no idea why he picked us for this assault other than he was psycho. I got my wife to safety and as he circled the parking lot I tried to confront him. He left. I thought that was the end of it. We reported the incident and since i had his tag number we quickly found he had done this before. I picked him out of mug shots with the local police, filed a warrant, and that was that.

Or so I thought. He was picked up and arrested on the warrant, and subsequently posted bail. A week later he shows up at my Mom's house, threatening her and threatening to put a warrant out on me for something trumped up. Scary stuff. My Mom called while he was at her house and I rushed over there. I called my police buddies and notified them of what was happening. I got to Mom's house before they did and I confronted him.

I am a big man. A very big man and I do NOT make a good victim (or pass respectably in femme, either.) At the time I was still in special forces military. He decided to try his luck and take me on. He failed. Miserably. The police arrived shortly thereafter, and called EMTs to scrape what was left of him off my Mom's porch. For the next two years we were in and out of court before they finally sent him off. I never heard from him again.

Was it all worth it? Not sure, but I do know I would never be able to live with myself if I let this punk bully me and my family. I stood my ground and made it clear I refuse to be an easy target. In this case he had done this same thing to a dozen other people. Every one of them backed down. Every one. That's crazy. I chose to stand my ground.

What value does that have? I helped my family feel safer. I affirmed my family protector status. I suppose that's worth something by some calculation. In the end, it's really a personal choice on what is best for you and your family. Cowards will be cowards and I refuse to be their clay pigeon.

[Sallee]

Certainly glad you are not more hurt than you are. That has to be very rare occurrence at least I hope so. I wish you had reported it just for the crime stats if nothing else Although I totally understand why you opted not to.
Hope you feeling better soon.

[Sarasometimes]

Wishing you a full and speedy recovery! It must be hard when you do the what if's but you are smart to focus on the guys who helped you and the good in society. Those guys were heroes, and acting without thought for their safety to come to the aid of a stranger, very commendable. After reading your article last night I was standing in drab, in a restaurant waiting for more of my group to arrive and I noticed a women getting into her SUV and I realized how more vulnerable she is to a loony than a guy.
Thanks for sharing, we all gained something from your unfortunate experience.

[Giselle(Oshawa)]

hope you are feeling better Isha, those thugs must realize every "dog has his day" maybe when they end up in prison they won't like their "female side'?

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Sorry to read about what happened to you Isha. Get well, because you are inspiration and motivator to us indoor never leaving our house dressers! :)

[Jeninus]

I'm very relieved to hear that you are recovering in body and spirit from that cowardly attack, and also very glad to know that others came to your assistance. Their intervention somewhat balances the ugliness of what happened. I can also fully understand your reluctance to formally report the attack. This is a cautionary tale for all of us and lessons are there for all to learn: best to go out with others, never turn your back on potential attackers.

Jenn

[Ruby John]

Wish you a speedy recovery. Thanks for posting about what happened to you as that makes us all think about where we go and how we react. Thanks Again Ruby

[Jane P]

Thank you for sharing your story Isha . It sucks that this happened ,but is a good reminder for us all to keep our guard up. Not so we will walk around always frightened that something like this will happen at any moment , but to remember that it can happen and to be careful . I know from past stories that you are capable of taking care of yourself and I am sure you are probably beating yourself up over the way things happened but it wasn't your fault . It happened and it sucks.

I hope things will get back to normal for you soon . I can't help but think what a strain this has put on your life in so many ways . I worry how this will affect your marriage , I feel that your wife is going to probably be more protective of you and worry a bit more whenever you are out , be patient with her , in a way this happened to her as well.

To add insult to injury you have had so many caring people on this forum telling you what you should have done. Stuff that you already knew . Again it sucks , but it is just people who are outraged trying to reach out and tell you that they care.

Like I said , I hope things are back to normal for you soon . Take care of yourself and enjoy life , this could have been much worse.

Jonnie

[Stephanie Julianna]

I just answered a post about someone en femme who was approached by a man but he did nothing thank God. Now I read your story. First, I don't know how they read you since you always present as a lady. However, with that being said, I'll repeat here what I said in the other thread. I've been doing this for 35 years in public and mostly in NYC. I learned early on that if you want to enjoy a night as a girl you have to apply the whole experience. That means, after you have done your make-up, hair and outfit to the best of your ability, practiced your best girl voice etc. YOU NOW HAVE TO START THINKING LIKE A GIRL. YOU ARE NOW MUCH MORE VULNERABLE THAN YOU ARE IN MALE MOOD. Those heels and dresses with pocketbooks can hobble you in many dangerous situations. Mothers teach their daughters about this stuff from an early age. You only have to pick up the paper to see that women are always the targets of this kind of assault . Whether you are a gg or transgendered, there are monsters out there that either want to get in your pants or simply abuse someone weaker. And yes, when we are dressed, we join the weaker sex. Are women weaker? Of course not. But in the eyes of far to many men they still are. The difference with gg's and us is they have training and instincts that we don't and we have to educate ourselves on how to navigate the world safely. I feel so bad for you because I can not imagine the physical and emotional pain you must have experienced. I agree that at least it ended on an uplifting note with the decent men helping you. I hope you get back in the saddle as soon as you mend and look forward to hearing about your nights out soon. Just think more like the beautiful woman you are and stay safe.

[MeDeanna]

Wow. I hope you are OK. Your experience was horrible to read.

[Michelle Deere]

OMG Isha. So sorry to hear about this. Hopefully you will be back to full health in no time.
M.

["Gabriela"]

Hi Isha,

I'm so sorry, so sad, so angry to read this. I can only send you a big warm hug and wish you heal very soon. At least there's still hope in humanity, but it's so unfair that in these times, many of us have to suffer because of the ignorance and hatred from narrow-minded ones...

I think I'm not going to be alone when out, never!

Take good care.

Gabby

[Michelle colson]

Thank you for sharing this sobering story with us. It's a sad but necessary reminder of the dangers we face when out dressed. I wish you well and a speedy recovery.

[CynthiaD]

Isha:

I'm deeply sorry that this happened to you. You have my love and support. I hope you get well soon.

[giuseppina]

Like everyone else, I am saddened that this happened to you, Isha. It brought back difficult memories from my time in primary and secondary school. I learned about situational awareness starting in Grade Tree.

I still live in my home town. Though an regional university has placed its Architecture school here, the redneck percentage hasn't changed much in the 30+ years since I left high school for university.

To those of you who want Isha to report her beating, I have first hand experience of what can happen: more violence. When I saw a birth announcement that the head bully was a father, I was seriously tempted to notify the local child protection services of the bully's past. That can be done without him knowing who sent in the tip.

[Christen]

Dear Isha,

I'm so sorry that this has happened. But a timely reminder to any of us who venture out. Hope your mending well.
And Dirtbags are dirtbags, unfortunately they're everywhere. Thank goodness they are outweighed by decent people.

Hugs to you girl,

Christen xx

[victoria76]

I'm so sorry to hear this! It made me feel sick to my stomach while reading it!
I hate that this happened to you, so uncool! They will get theirs in due time...

[TeresaCD]

Hi Isha
Glad you are on the mend, girl
Sorry you've had to go through it 😢
Tess x

[donnalee]

Oh Isha, I am so sorry this happened and hope you are feeling better, at least physically. There can be mental and psychological damage from something like this and I hope that you are not and will not be affected by that.
I have found, from years of hard experience, that unless you pursue legal action for this attack, either criminally or civilly or both, you will never heal properly from it. This, of course, would depend on whether or not you can possibly identify your attackers, but my guess is that there have been multiple occurrences by these predators and law enforcement would appreciate an eyewitness. You will also be performing a social service, may help to protect others and will send a strong message that this sort of thing will no longer be tolerated.
I understand your reluctance and the reasons for it but would ask you to reconsider, even knowing how much you have done for society already by your service.
The political climate being what it is, your best choice might be to contact your local MP (if they support the hate crime legislation) or an MP that does support it simultaneous to a police report. Right now there is a window of opportunity for a symbiotic relationship; the MP gets help with the bill passing, you get help with putting these guys in jail where they won't hurt anyone else. Yes, it will probably make you a poster child, but that is not necessarily a bad thing and is probably your best protection against retaliation. When you shine a light on cockroaches, they all run. I would not ask this without knowing that you're already out at work and at home, but please consider it; you could do an enormous amount of good.

[JenniferYager]

Yikes! I'm so sorry this happened. I've been so lucky to never have anyone threaten or otherwise do something to make me feel uncomfortable, but this will definitely keep me on my toes!

[Marcelle]

Hi all,

I wanted to thank you again for all your kind well wishes and support.

By way of update, I am healing and while I wished I healed like a twenty year old . . . alas not so much. :) I have regained mobility in my back so I can get about but my wife has forbid me to engage in any physical activity less I reinjure my back (which took the worst of things) so no gym . . . which is driving me absolutely insane. Still running over the many "what if I had done this or that" scenarios but that alone will drive you bonkers so I am just concentrating on getting better and looking forward to my next trip out as Isha which hopefully will be in a couple of weeks :battingeyelashes:.

Hugs

Isha

[Christy Diane]

I have been saying a prayer each night for you since this happened and will continue to do so. I'm pleased to hear that you are healing both physically and also are still planing on living your life on your terms.

[flatlander_48]

Still running over the many "what if I had done this or that" scenarios but that alone will drive you bonkers so I am just concentrating on getting better and looking forward to my next trip out as Isha which hopefully will be in a couple of weeks :battingeyelashes:.

Hugs

Isha

"What If" is useful, but only to a point as it soon becomes a proposition of diminishing returns. As we cannot change the past, the only thing to do is take whatever was significant from the experience, file it away for future reference and continue on.

The past is the past: we can't change it, undo it or make up for it...

Better Days Ahead,

DeeAnn

[Bria]

Isha, I know what you mean about the what ifs driving you bonkers. Many times I have thought of at least ten snappy things to have said that were better than what I did say! Glad the healing is going well.

Hugs, Bria

[Alice Torn]

Isha, I can understand a little about being kicked hard, but it was my older immature sister, who kicked me, because i could,nt understand her impeded speech!

[Jane P]

Hi all,

I wanted to thank you again for all your kind well wishes and support.

By way of update, I am healing and while I wished I healed like a twenty year old . . . alas not so much. :) I have regained mobility in my back so I can get about but my wife has forbid me to engage in any physical activity less I reinjure my back (which took the worst of things) so no gym . . . which is driving me absolutely insane. Still running over the many "what if I had done this or that" scenarios but that alone will drive you bonkers so I am just concentrating on getting better and looking forward to my next trip out as Isha which hopefully will be in a couple of weeks :battingeyelashes:.

Hugs

Isha

Sometimes I wish there was just a " like " function on this forum . Not much to say but glad you are feeling better and take it easy 'til you do.

[Erika Lyne]

Oh Isha,

This saddens all of us so greatly. I am not one easily brought to tears, the man in me is still too much there but, I couldn't read your initial post with out blinking through the water shed. You are a wonderfully strong person. Through reading your encouraging posts time and time again, I feel you will be strong and return to going out as your true self, return to that restaurant, standing tall and being Isha!

There is little I can add except support. I support you in whatever your decision will be about reporting this.

Taking a bit of liberty with your words but restoring faith in Humanity at the same time...


The guys who helped really wanted no thanks... Will these guys do it again? I can't answer that question.


I can: Yes, they will and I hope they do. D-bags are out there, acceptance is not as easy as bullying. I know these gentlemen will do this again and I hope they do because D-bags will do something like this again even though we all wish they wouldn't.

My warmest (and gentlest) hugs,

-Erika

[Nadya]

Isha,

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I breaks my heart that someone so sweet and welcoming to this forum has had to go through such an experience. This serves as a lesson that when someone goes out in public, that there is a real danger. I wish there was something I could do to help. :) I would ask you to reconsider your decision about reporting it to the police. I think it is important that they know about it. I've only been out a few times dressed up and I'm always worried about protecting myself. Attacking you was so cowardly and they'll get what they deserve eventually. Let me know if there's anything I could do.

[Sarah L]

Like everyone else, I am saddened by this story. I am glad you arent letting this stop you from being Isha.

We are all rooting for you.

[paulaprimo]

oh isha, what a horrible story. if they weren't in a group, i'm sure individually they are cowards
and nothing would of happened. it's one thing to not accept us but to act out violently is totally wrong!
i applaud your courage and wish you a speedy recovery.

[Stephanie Lynne]

Hi, Isha! My thoughts are with you. Thanks for sharing!

[Vala]

I hope you will get well soon

[Samantha_Smile]

My friend, this is seriously ****ed up news, very sorry to hear it.

I hope you are healing up well.
I work in A&E in the UK, trust me when I say this, I've seen how these things usually go down time after time after time...
You we're lucky.

Please take more care.
All the best.

[Alice_2014_B]

Amazing the contrast of a'holes to the kindest people who will not even think twice about how someone looks or is dressed.
Cognizant of one's surroundings is vital.
Thanks for sharing Isha.

[jeank]

Isha,

I've just seen this thread and there's nothing really I can add that hasn't already been said - just take this as a "get well soon" card.