Is there a correlation between crossdressing and childhood trauma?

[Mink]

mothers / fathers / parents not giving enough affection and or attention?

absent parents...? ... sisters or females that are given more love and compliments or gifts or more encouraged?

i'm sure many will say no... of course not!



but for the CDers who are more burdened by this versus freed / accepting it within to their identity... I wonder...

I feel like it rang true when I read a disgruntled wife say that from what she read just about EVERY problematic CDr had some childhood trauma or issues with their parents and the way they were brought up...


also the idea of women's clothing / sexual experiences tied in with associating the clothing with female contact / sex...

like a surrogate for young boys or teens who are too shy or awkward about getting the girl...

not ALL mind you...

but for many cases I can see this being the case!

of course you'll try to rebuke me!

making this thread a moot diatribe!

eyah!



once AGAIN... it's not for EVERYONE and probably not many people here but stuff like this DOES ring a bit true in my mind based on all the experiences I've had reading and researching online and in the "real world" :


these men THINK it's all about being a woman, but I disagree that for most that they actually are in the wrong body. I think there's a tiny minority of people in this world who fit the 'born in the wrong body' concept, and the rest are just broken men who started a comforting sexual habit way back in childhood and by the time they've reached adulthood they're caught at varying levels of this condition. Some are obvious fetishists with no gender issues, some are a mix of fetish and gender confusion, while others escalate their fetish into preferring a fantasy life as a woman over reality as a man. These are just my observations over the years, but I can honestly say that I haven't once spoken to a CDer, fetish or fulltime, and felt I was speaking to a woman. All just sounded like men lost in delusion and all had concocted a personal history that supported their fantasies. It was sad. They truly don't see their behavior clearly. Anyway, you're right that the extreme TS end is just too difficult to live with as a wife, and many ordinary CDers are equally impossible to live with. It can work, but no one should ever feel guilty if it doesn't. But don't be fooled that their explanations are real. These are men who have created an elaborate alternative identity in order to satisfy a fantasy

it's depressing to me... and it feels like i'll never be happy with how far I go or don't go... like if I accept it I still won't be fully happy... even with a girlfriend/wife or going it alone... but that if I utterly stopped like an addiction to alky or druggies and could never at all CD? i'd be miserable too!

every time i'd be with a gal i'd look at what she is wearing and know she has those magical undies and clothes that I wish I could wear...

so even if I abstain it will always be there


like a hardcore smoker that quits for good... AND succeeds... yet time to time... even 20 years later... still craves a siggy!

[Nadine Spirit]

Interesting theory. I would venture to say though that most people in society have suffered some form of childhood trauma.

I know for example that my sister had way more trauma than I did and she does not cross dress. She is in fact quite happy with her gender.

The search for the answer to the question of why is endless. I think we all wish for some plausible explanation so that we could all say "Oh, so I get it now. Now I understand why I do this thing that so many others feel is so weird! Now it all makes sense. I do it because _________."

I think searching for this is like searching for aliens or the Loch Ness Monster or the Chubacabra!

I am not saying it does not exist, but good luck in finding irrefutable proof of it!

[Michala]

Can't think of an possible trauma. Had a good family, liked to do all the things that boys do. Very athletic, not feminine at all. Good parents who were always supportive. At an early age I discovered I liked looking at ladies underwear in the Sears and Penneys catalogs. Then discovered one day when I was home alone that I felt very good when I tried on my mom's clothes. Started with her bra and a girdle with garters that held up the nylons. Back before pantyhose was ever invented. At first it was a very sexual feeling and liked the idea of looking like a girl even though I never did fully achieve that goal. Just have a too masculine body and shape to ever really look like a woman.

Trauma? none at all for me. Just sometimes find it fun and enjoyable to dress like a woman.

[sometimes_miss]

Interesting theory. I would venture to say though that most people in society have suffered some form of childhood trauma.
It depends on what you consider trauma; and, of course, it's all relative. For some, trauma is being dumped by a boyfriend just before the prom. For others, it's having your family die in a fire and being brought up by someone who beats you every day.


The search for the answer to the question of why is endless. I think we all wish for some plausible explanation <snip>
I think searching for this is like searching for aliens or the Loch Ness Monster or the Chubacabra!
Perhaps, but NOT trying to find the underlying reason certainly won't help at all. But not everyone has the capability of figuring it all out. Many people block out memories of things that would make them uncomfortable if they had to address them; some, for their whole lives. Lots of others were so indoctrinated into western societies' unwritten law that no man should ever embrace any feminine feelings or behavior, ever, or he's a failure as a man. This belief is very deeply sunk into our minds at a very early age, and reinforced often while we are growing up.

I'm not a professional psychologist, and so have not investigated other men's lives to figure out why they crossdress. I have, however, read everything that I could find on the subject over the past 44 years, and at least figured out the reason for myself. Briefly, I was told at a young age (shortly before my 7th birthday) that god made a mistake, and that I was really supposed to be a girl. With that information, over the next few years I thought about my life, looking for other evidence that would support that hypothesis, and found more than a little bit of it, and more things would happen that would further increase the belief in my mind. So not only did an outside person support the idea, I began to find reason to support it myself, and by the time I got to high school there was no longer any doubt in my mind. But as I gained more knowledge about psychology, the more the theory fell apart. But the feeling was still there. I believe that our gender/sexual self identity becomes finalized at some point in our adolescence. I have read other theories that it happens earlier or later, but neither support my own experience. So, part of me will always believe that I'm female. My desire to wear female clothing etc. is to make what I see and feel on the outside, congruent with what I feel inside. Many would now declare me to be TS. However, further investigation showed that I do not see the world the way girls to, I don't communicate the way women do, I do not multitask well (I can't listen to two things at the same time as women can), I do have very good spacial capabilities such as being able to think in 3D and envision objects in my head and rotate them easily, I have a great sense of direction, the list goes on and on. So I'm not TS. I'm somewhere along the TG spectrum.
My life is a terrific example of what can happen if you take a normal boy and want to turn him into a crossdresser; all the necessary outside influences occurred at the right times.

[Katey888]

Mink - No. :)

No trauma here... excluding the loss of a few budgerigars - I can't think that would have any effect...

Both parents present, happy, reasonably normal but poor...

Only child (ah ha! I hear some of you say...)

That's it...

Katey x

[BethanyAnn]

Gosh, Mink...I don't think so in my case. I began dressing at age 3 when mom and aunt would dress me and my gg cousin in cute gowns and let us play. Around age 5 I was not allowed to dress up anymore and started on my own in the closet around age 8. My family seemed well adjusted and it was a loving place I think.

I did begin to associate sex with female clothes when I was 13. I was fully dressed walking down the sidewalk in our neighborhood late at night and had an orgasm while I walked (must have been the slip on hose with a gentle breeze). I almost fell down and had NO CLUE what had happened. I was petrified too when I undressed back in my room only to find the mess I had made in my sister's panties, mom's slip and hose. After this I eventually "figured out" what had happened and sought to duplicate that experience on a regular basis until started dating my first boyfriend. Still get excited a little just putting on my clothes...guess that first link is hard to break?

[Victoria Demeanor]

I think searching for this is like searching for aliens or the Loch Ness Monster or the Chubacabra!

For your info Nadine I personally saw some aliens steal the Loch Ness monster just after she ate a Chubacbra……

I had a long reply for this, but on second thought decided to say No the family trauma was long after and if anything made me reject my desire
(these men THINK it's all about being a woman,) who are these men? to me it's about expressing my feminine side not about being a woman. of course I could do that with out putting on a dress and heels, but what would be the fun of that?

[LilSissyStevie]

Not just trauma but emasculation trauma. Were you shy, timid, nonathletic, small, weak, rejected by/afraid of girls, pushed around by bullies, etc, etc, etc? Then you've experienced emasculation trauma. In fact the very anxiety of attempting to live up to impossible masculine ideals is traumatic even for a "normal" male and it permeates our society. When you've been here as long as I have, you start to see it everywhere. But very few will admit it. It's much more comforting to think one is expressing an "inner woman" or a "feminine side." So why doesn't everybody who suffers emasculation trauma become a crossdresser? I don't know. Everyone's different. The fact that not everyone who experiences intense combat suffers PTSD isn't proof that PTSD isn't caused by the trauma of combat. Personally, I find the realization that my gender issues stem from childhood emasculation trauma to be very liberating. Not that there is anything I can do about it, the imprints are set in concrete, but the mystery is solved.


Some Lite reading:

The Compulsion to Repeat the Trauma
http://www.cirp.org/library/psych/vanderkolk/

Not specifically about crossdressing but you should get the idea how it applies.

Third Way Trans
http://thirdwaytrans.com/

Read from the start to most recent to get the best understanding.

[Pat]

Wow, I remember when it was a correlation between childhood trauma and homosexuality that was the boojum du jour. It had the same "it's all a pathetic cry for attention" story. Not saying it's impossible but I have to question why studies by social scientists and psychologists can't turn up a correlation? These are explanations are the type of thing that show up when people who don't understand something try to come to grips with it by deciding the people who experience a condition must not understand it and need it explained to them.

I really don't mean to be dismissive, but I've read this screenplay before -- it's been used to explain homosexuality, bisexuality, why spouses cheat, why BDSM people follow that practice and probably more.

[Mink]

there's this weird thing where CDers WANT it to be something that wasn't caused by anything... that it was just in the cards ... in their DNA... nothing could have stopped it and nothing will

so you better just accept it and do whatever you want to do because you didn't have a choice... ?

and downplaying the sexual side and how it has evolved or morphed or the people for whom it still is or always will just be sexual (maybe saying they will eventually "evolve" as if non-sexual CDing is the more pure / less pervy higher version of CDing..)


kids who are abused physically or sexually will tend to continue this...

is someone born a pedo and there was no way to ever avoid it?

lesbians who turned to only liking women after very bad experiences with a man or men

it's not always so simple

but it's sure easy to just wave these things away and not think about them / discuss them!

[Victoria Demeanor]

A friend of mine loves model trains. He has a huge set up in his basement and yes wears an engineers hat when he down there. He runs his little trains on a schedule and is obsessive about detail. He is not a real train engineer. It’s his fantasy to play one. Oh its not sexual…I will argue that. Was there some family trauma that caused him to retreat into this little world? You can tell me it’s not the same, but ya the guy that loves football, dresses like his favorite player and surrounds himself with memorabilia. Did mom and dad not pay attention to him when he was young? The only difference I see is the acceptance by so called normal society.
(there's this weird thing where CDers WANT it to be something that wasn't caused by anything )
I actually found this a little insulting. Yes we are all effected in someway by our life experiences, but to say that cross dressing has to be caused by something bad in our life is to say that it is a sick unholy fetish. Sorry Mink I look at it as something good something I enjoy and something more natural then some other things that people seem to find exceptable.

[Allison Chaynes]

I can only speak for me. The female rejection happened for a couple years, right about the time the CD fetish arose. Otherwise, the only childhood traumatic experiences were heart disease, my first plane accident, and getting shot.

[Nadine Spirit]

kids who are abused physically or sexually will tend to continue this...


Out of everything that you wrote in that post this was the most offensive. In doing a bit of quick Googling the stat I found the most was that about 1/3 of abused will end up abusing. Maybe it is being picky, but for those of us who were abused, to say that we "will tend to continue this..." is pretty rude.

[Jenniferathome]

mothers / fathers / parents not giving enough affection and or attention?

absent parents...? ... sisters or females that are given more love and compliments or gifts or more encouraged?

i'm sure many will say no... of course not!...

Only those of us who have had no childhood trauma Some of us lived the Brady Bunch life for real.

[jessicabf]

I can't think of any trauma for myself. What if the same thing that makes one GG girly and another a Tom-boy is found in males too? However I can see that some types of trauma could lead to that. My advise to someone who needs to CD due to what they believe is a serious past trauma, to seek help. Untie that knot. CDing is fun. But I'm not sure if it classifies as a treatment for severe emotional trauma? But what do i know?

I take my daughters as an example. My youngest is very girly. And my SO is not at all. I think my daughter got that part of her from me. Whatever 'that' part is.

There's my two cents as I fall asleep. ;-)

[pamela7]

Personally, I find the realization that my gender issues stem from childhood emasculation trauma to be very liberating. Not that there is anything I can do about it, the imprints are set in concrete, but the mystery is solved.


actually there IS something we can do about undoing imprinting traumas, very effectively in fact - its my expertise. However the more I've worked in the field the more I see that life's traumas shape a divergent beauty and I'm reluctant to see anything undone unless its no longer serving the person.

From the present self it is largely impossible to find the underlying causes cos they lie within the timescapes of prior selves during this life, instead we latch onto possible triggers and formative experiences that we remember. We're likely to fix on archetypes of attraction, each uniquely. I was never into my mother's clothes, and yet only today I remember I was given, in formative teenage years, two of my mother's tops that were soft and comfy. They looked unisex, polo-neck thermal tops is what nowadays looks like them, maybe that was one thing, maybe tho, i've just remembered something that fits a pattern i'm trying to jigsaw together.

Enjoy your life - or don't if you don't want to - and realise those little traumas make us who we are. They also make the straight and boring people straight and boring ...

[Teresa]

Mink,
No trauma from family just the unexpected sexual outcome of wearing a sexy swimsuit the rest just followed and never stopped !
Not sure if I like the way the quote is worded ! Why do we have to be described in such terms, we are stuck with it through no fault of our own, and strive to make sense of it and make the most of it when we do come to accept it ! We shouldn't be viewed as something to be pitied but human beings that have something different going on in our minds !

[kimdl93]

No. There are anecdotal associations. There are several problem with such associations. First, many children experience traumas of one sort or another. Very few are or 'become' TG. And many people without recollections of childhood traumas also eventually identify themselves as TG. And peoples recollections of childhood are, like all memories, highly unreliable. In fact most of memory is basically a construct combining bits of what happened with elements filled in by the mind.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

I can think of one plausible trigger- I've known my mother to say on several occasions that she wanted a girl (I'm an only child), but it isn't proof of my CDing, and I know that she adores me and has always done so.

My first recollection of a CDing instinct was a fascination with her underwear, which I began trying on at about 13. But I'm willing to bet that if it had belonged to a sister, a neighbour, or I'd seen it in a shop, I'd have been equally attracted to it. And it wasn't her brassieres, or skirts, or make up, or anything else, it was specifically panties. This is still the only female garment I possess, or have ever possessed in quantity.

Mink- any thoughts on what triggers the onset of CDing in older people? Many seem to arrive here in their early-mid 50s. It's not like I had kids who've flown the coop, and I'm 11 years into a happy marriage, albeit one with little sex over the last 4-5 years. I've always dabbled in CDing, but last summer, bam! It was like a light got switched on, and I can think of no particular reason.

The quote in your OP is a little stark, a little cold, but it's possible to boil all human activity down into stark, cold terms, if you remove sentiment and apply cool reason. We're here to reproduce, end of. Everything else is playtime.

[Rachael Leigh]

Was just reading an article about childhood trauma and yes it can cause many issues that relate to our dressing. It also pointed out it does not have to be a major trauma or abuse either, it can be as simple as neglect that may or may not be on purpose or stress that is going on in the family while the child is very young say 2 to 7 years of age. See this article for me made sense since I know of no major problems in my childhood that would have effected me but I have been told about a few things such as stress. We moved about 1100 miles when I was barley a year old and and only stayed in that place till I was 2 and my mom already had 2 kids so Im sure that was a very stressful time and I can imagine there could be some correlation for sure.
Want to make sure everyone understands the article I read was not specifically talking about gender issues just triggers for certain issues we have into adulthood

[Kate Simmons]

Perhaps for some but definitely not for myself. I just preferred to be my own person since I was self aware.:)

[LilSissyStevie]

there's this weird thing where CDers WANT it to be something that wasn't caused by anything... that it was just in the cards ... in their DNA... nothing could have stopped it and nothing will

so you better just accept it and do whatever you want to do because you didn't have a choice... ?

and downplaying the sexual side and how it has evolved or morphed or the people for whom it still is or always will just be sexual (maybe saying they will eventually "evolve" as if non-sexual CDing is the more pure / less pervy higher version of CDing..)

IMO, the reason some want to believe there is some genetic cause for CDing is that they believe that any other explanation means that they are responsible and could be "cured." That explanation has never worked out for victims of genocide. Being "born that way" is the reason for attempting to exterminate them. But it's not even true that you can't be held responsible for your genetic traits. People can be born with a genetic predisposition to anger and still learn to control their behavior. Then there is the fact that most CDs really just don't care why they do it, they just want to enjoy themselves. "The Devil (or DNA) makes me do it." More power to them.

Downplaying the sexual side is easy. We live in a culture that devalues anything sexual. Hence the idea of a "mere" fetish in spite of the fact that many people experience intense dyphoria from their sexual attractions that can result in suicide. So-called autogynephilia in its most intense form means that you can never experience sexual satisfaction as long as you remain a man. It's interesting to sit back and watch how some people's narratives evolve from "fetish dresser" to "identity dresser" because they think that an identity is somehow more legitimate than a fetish. Note the false dichotomy of fetish vs identity. Yes kids! You can have an identity AND a fetish! At the same time!



actually there IS something we can do about undoing imprinting traumas, very effectively in fact - its my expertise. However the more I've worked in the field the more I see that life's traumas shape a divergent beauty and I'm reluctant to see anything undone unless its no longer serving the person.

The imprinting I was referring to was the imprinted sexualization of emasculation trauma (what I used to call autogynephila.) There doesn't seem to be much evidence that one change sexual imprinting very much. In other words: You can't pray away the fae. As far as PTSD goes, I've suffered plenty from that including hospitalizations, years of therapy, drugged into zombiehood (Thorazine shuffle!), self medicating with drugs and alcohol, etc. At this stage of my life I've got a pretty good handle on it. But even now I sometimes break into tears for no apparent reason. It usually passes after a minute or so. It's more annoying than distressing. At one time I could be driving down the road and be suddenly overcome with intense blinding rage to the point that I would lose control of the car. Now that was freaking scary! That hasn't happened in decades.

[marilyn m]

i have read somewhere that mothers that were dominant, could play a part towards being a cd
my mother certainly was, she also told me she wanted a girl, but as i have got older my fem side has
become more part of who iam, i fought her off for so long, now realize we are one and the same

[Alice Torn]

Mink, Your thread really hits home with me. Really. I had severe issues with a dad who never wanted me, an older sister he adored, and who adored him, and never wanted nor had a boyfriend all her 66 years. A smothering mother, and my dad was very jealous of me, for having so much of her attention. Kept away from girls . They were always off limits, and still are it seems. i asked a lady cashier today, because she has no rings on, if she is single. Yes, but has a boyfriend lives with. I cannot recall the last woman i asked if was single, that actually did not have a husband, or boyfriend. Available single women have been almost completely off limits. I have delved into womens' clothes off and on since age 14, and it truly is my substitute for a mate now, but like you, even when i did date some, i was interested in their clothes, wishing i could dress like them.

[Marcie Rose]

i have read somewhere that mothers that were dominant, could play a part towards being a cd

My mother was dominant and I used to think that was part of the reason. I remember first dressing when I was 10 after my dad died so I used to think that was part of it too. Now I realize that there's no one to blame. It's a natural part of me that I enjoy. Why worry about why?

[Gillian Gigs]

It seems to be human nature to ask the question of "why", and too many of us in the process attempt to put everyone in the same box after answering the question. Is it possible to have a childhood trauma lead you down a particular path to somewhere...yes. We do not live in a one size fits all world, so I assume the question is a curiousity to see if there are many of us out there that would fit the bill.

In my case, I would consider it a childhood trauma that lead me down this CD path. A common punishment from 4 years upward was being dressed in various forms of girls clothes as a punishment. Was this to emasculate me, no, I don't think so, but to shame me, yes. It seems so ironic that my Dad wanted a man's man for a son and didn't get one, could it have been a result of the punishments, who knows. Did this shape my personality into what it is today, probably, but one will never know for sure, and that only leads to more questions.

We are who we are and if one person wants to justify their actions by saying it was a trauma, does it make it any different than the person who says it is in their genetic make up. If your justification helps you sleep at night, then it at least gave you a good nights sleep. We all have to learn to deal with it and get on with life. Through my time on this site I have bounced around in my thinking about who/why I am and I suspect that others have also. I questioned my thoughts about how far this will go, it is kind of like watching a pendulum swing from one extreme to the other. Through these swings I have personally come to the point of finding my happy medium, and I hope others do to. Another question is has the pendulum stopped moving yet?

I think that these type of questions are a good thing, because it gets me thinking and helps me focus on helping myself become a better person, and helping others to become all we can be inspite who we are.

[lingerieLiz]

I think that because we don't know why we search for "a cause". We humans are a complicated mass of cells. There may be many causes and or combination there of. We have trouble defining the condition.

[Zylia]

Correlation obviously is something that can be measured, but judging from this thread alone, there's hardly an 100 percent score for cross-dressers with a (significant) childhood trauma, kinda ruling out any kind of general causation. That's not say there's no relation in some cases, but it might be the other way around, e.g. you have or developed this not quite masculine gender identity, causing you to behave in certain ways, not 'approved' by the (inherently masculine) 'cool kids'. I'm not saying that's 100 percent the case either, I'm just suggesting that we might be oversimplifying things here.

Either way, I'm not in support of any 'single-cause' theory, but I would love to be proven wrong.

[Traceyjo]

I had a happy trauma free childhood but I was quite shy and had difficulty communicating with girls. I had a very strong sexual drive and attraction to females but didn't have a relationship with one until I was 22. I found other ways to explore my sexual drive and I'm amazed that I didn't crossdress in my youth because I found out after 10 years of marriage how sexually exciting it was when I tried it. I feel my need to find outlets for my sexual urges in adolescence led to me experimenting with crossdressing later in life. I am certain I would have loved doing it when I was younger.

[CarlaWestin]

I really don't mean to be dismissive, but I've read this screenplay before -- it's been used to explain homosexuality, bisexuality, why spouses cheat, why BDSM people follow that practice and probably more.

Of all the information here, this sums it up for me. Youngest of five. Two wonderful parents with diverse personalities raised us all to enjoy life, own your challenges and put yourself through school. Five success stories. I always felt as though too much parental attention was annoying.

[Marcelle]

Hi Mink,

To be honest, I think humans are too complex (psyche wise) to chalk things up to one point in childhood. The root causes of being anywhere on the TG spectrum are going to differ depending on where you are and even then they will differ from person to person. While certain traumas in childhood can manifest themselves as personality constructs in later life, it is not always the case. So to say a childhood trauma can be linked (correlated) to CDing would mean that any child who suffered a similar trauma would become TG and from the responses thus far . . . I don't see it. Not saying it could not happen, but it would most likely be one of the extraneous variables added to the mix affecting some but not others.

Hugs

Isha

[NicoleScott]

Even if it can be shown that there's a correlation, don't make the leap to causation. Maybe, as Zylia points out, trauma didn't cause the crossdressing, but the reverse.
Long ago in psychology class, the professor told that a correlation was made between burglaries and ice cream sales (hint: this correlation was made before ubiquitous A/C). Hey, we can cut down the crime rate by stopping ice cream sales.

[Confucius]

I believe the biggest clue on how we got this way, is found in the fact that most males can wear feminine clothing and not feel anything special, however a small percentage, 3-5%, experience sensations of well-being, pleasure, gratification and bonding. For these people it is just as if their brain is interpreting crossdressing as actual contact with a female.

This clue directs us to how the brain is hardwired. In our case stimulus in one sensory pathway leads to an automatic, involuntary, response in a secondary neural pathway. So crossdressing may be a form of synesthesia. In our very early years, <3 years old, our brain are producing neural connections at a feverish pace and by the time you are 3 years old you have many, many more neural connections in your brain than an adult. Then the brain goes through a process of pruning based upon our learning experiences. Some neural connections are reinforced while others are cut. If you receive some traumatic experience that tells you that being a girl is better than being a boy during this period then you may have set the neural connections in place. However by the time we reach 7 years old, we undergo childhood amnesia where we lose most of our memories from early childhood.

Your brain undergoes a second critical period of synaptogenesis - during puberty. So these neural connections between wearing feminine clothing and experiencing the sensation of contact with a female can be set in place in our early formative years or during adolescence.

This is all theoretical but it works well for me. In my case there was no real childhood trauma. However my childhood was marked by my mother telling me that she wanted a daughter when I was born, and a year after I was born, my sister was born. My sister was my mother's little princess, loved, spoiled and pampered. I grew up thinking that parents just love girls more than boys, and that my mother would have loved me more if I was born a girl. I've been crossdressing for as long as I can remember.

[Rhanda]

Can't it be that some of us just like the freedom to dress as we please? I have always thought that I have as much right to wear wonderful styles as anyone. I also have been wearing makeup daily (almost) since about the age of 16. I just don't try to look like a girl all the time. If I'm dressed very fem I make-up accordingly and have a good feeling about it. I still don't think that I am trying to be a woman. I'm just a cross dresser. I have to admit though that I am thrilled if someone addresses me with a "mam".

Rhanda

[Amy Fakley]

I have a theory that left-handedness is a result of having been told by our fathers that they had wished for a left handed child. From then on, our brains set up a dopamine-based reward system making us feel good when doing things with our left appendages.

Hence it is totally not our fault that we are left handed.

If not that, then it must be exposure to Doctor Who. Everyone I've ever met that was left handed also liked that show. Either way, it's definitely not our fault that we are left handed.

some say that we're born left handed, but people can learn to use their right hands if they really want to. So that can't be true. It must be a preference, or some kind of conditioning!

Why are some people left handed? It makes no since!!
But then again. It doesn't really matter, and the reason why matters even less.

[Lily Catherine]

I wouldn't depend entirely on memories and anecdotes (but I cannot neglect them) as they are highly personalized constructs to begin with, and subjective ones at that. At any rate, having the 2 correlated would only be an intersection of the set of cross-dressers and the set of those who've experienced childhood trauma of some kind. As we all have our own individualized narratives to begin with, there are various factors that affect its course and that trauma might be one of them in some. It's unwise to paint with a broad brush.

Despite my mother having actually said that she wanted a little daughter and dress her up (this said when she was passing by a children's boutique in front of 10-year-old me), I have never taken this to heart as it's a single inconsistency compared to her general attitude towards my cross-dressing.

[Alice Torn]

Each of us comes from a different set of parents and siblings, and DNA, and some were affected far more by behaviors, and mindsets and words, than another would be. My dad was very morose unless drinking. He would yell at my mom, and they would fight. This went on for years. I decided that i did not want to be like him. I think that is one reason i dress as a lady. Maleness meant anger, rage, drunkenness, no manners. Both my older twin brothers got involved with neo nazis, ended up arrested, and one is still in prison, 30 more years. My dad was a legs fetishist, and even in his 90's talks about tall women with long legs. He never wanted sons, only daughters, too. I was very tall, with long legs, and i felt he was watching mine, too, and i was paranoid about him. I think this had something to do, in my dressing, wearing hose and high heels, accentuating, and showing off my legs, in photos. I think part of me wants to resemble the very tall, long legged woman of his, and my dreams!! Truth is, i may have been born prone to this, but all the things that happened with me, greatly contributed to it.

[Lorileah]

when I realized I was trans at 4 years old, my life was perfect. Single child, loving parents, suburban lifestyle

Now the years after when I was no longer an only child and my parents were fighting and the neighbors were swapping, then I worked HARD to look and act like a guy. So redirecting is probable

[LilSissyStevie]

Of course there is no "proof" and I would offer none. There is no proof that if you get drunk and drive that you will get into an accident, in fact most drunk drivings don't result in accidents, but drunk driving and auto accidents are highly correlated. It's plausible to say that drunk driving causes more accidents than would happen otherwise. You don't need a double-blind placebo controlled clinical study to figure this out or as Bob Dylan said, "You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows." The explanation makes sense, too. The idea that ice creams sales cause burglaries needs some serious explanation in order to be plausible. The question was if there was a correlation between crossdressing and trauma and there undoubtedly is as long as we are talking about emasculation trauma and not just any old trauma like breaking a leg. I also want to point out that emasculation trauma isn't necessarily just one or more incidents but includes the generalized anxiety of comparing oneself to and trying to live up to masculine ideals. So it is plausible to say that CDing is a way reacting to emasculation trauma for the reasons given in the first journal article I linked to. Could there be other explanations for crossdressing? Sure, as long as it's not ridiculous stuff like "my girly genes make me wear dresses." Of course, if that's all the explanation you need, go for it.

Actually, I would have never asked this question this way. You'll never get an honest answer asking a direct question. The trauma is better revealed in the stories people tell about themselves and it doesn't really matter if the facts are accurate.

[jeanieinabottle]

As a doc I've looked into gender identity differences and while I would have to agree that there is not a single reason that would apply to everyone as to why they crossdress or have gender identity differences, there are some interesting things which may explain why, Yes, some are born this way.
A number of studies have looked at maternal testosterone during later stages in pregnancy. There is generally an androgen (male hormone which is in both males and females) surge in late pregnancy and it has been suggested in some that due to illness, chronic conditions, medications, etc., the maternal androgen surge might have been suppressed resulting in how male children view themselves on the gender spectrum. They have linked finger lengths to this in utero androgen surge.
PET scans of the brain have shown that those with gender identity differences (male to female) show more female like patterns in both size and location of PET scan activity when various stimuli are given which suggests that there might be some "internal wiring" changes that occurred during development that results in more of a female brain than a male which is more likely than changes occurring after birth to the wiring.
Also it has been seen that with gender identity differences, there are some differences in neurotransmitters, in type and amount and how they work in individuals with gender identity differences.
So is it trauma or is it something more natural, chemical or medical? I'm not sure like I said before if any situation applies to all.
However for myself....I personally don't care. I know who I am, how I feel and think, and at this point in my life, having gone thru that stage of trying to find out why things are they way they are, I am happy with who I am and need no further confusion to add to an already confusing life before Jeanie.

[Brandy Mathews]

Hi everyone,
I think that it does have to do with what happens in your childhood. For me, I was beaten and screamed at by my father. And watched him scream at my mother for years. So at the age of 16, I was dressing in my sisters and mothers things and using their lipsticks when I could. Then after I moved out, I saw the lady next door throw out alot of clothes, bras, girdles, and other things. I grabbed that box up and dressed up in them for years. I thank her for that. Then when I was married, I tried so hard to not dress but it was no use. After a while I think that she had an idea what I was doing but would say things like......Whatever you are doing at home while I was gone. Have been divorced for years, not because of the dressing though.
Live alone now and I love to get off work and slip into something sexy and comfy. I really don't think that I can stop dressing, and I don't want to either. It is me! I have even had people that have found ot about me, try to hack into my computer to see more. Sometimes I think that those people are jealous that I have fun in life. And I haven't done anything to tose people, so I really don't get it. Some people are just not happy unless they are being nosey. I always tell them......get a life!
Bree:)

[detty]

Cool for you Bree, be happy and do not mind the rest (of the world).

I think for us a certail level of courage is needed to act out who we are, to try to involve people, to try to fit into society.

"Normal" people do not neeed to invest, they can be who they are categorized to be.

Be pretty, sophisticated and smart, and do not worry about the rest...

[Stephanie Julianna]

My wife is convinced that my crossdressing stems from my parents always fawning over there daughters, my sisters, and all the girl nieces, my cousins, and how pretty they were in there dresses, etc. I was pretty invisible as a boy. However, I feel that my female side is more an overlapping of a previous life as a woman. Yes, now you know, I believe in multiple lives. My family says that I am a Shirley McClain wanna-be. Whatever. So if your parents preferring little girls to boys is considered trauma I guess it is a possibility.

[meganmartin]

I dont think so because as others pointed out we all endured some sort of trauma.

Being raised in a large family there just was not enough time for my parents to be there for me.
Although they kept me fed, clothed and with shelter, in addition they did not raise any drug addicts or criminals so in my mind they did ok by me.

But that was the time in which I was raised we just raised different than the kids today.
Not better or worse just different.

[CONSUELO]

My earliest memory of dressing up in female clothes was when I was perhaps about five years old. My sisters dressed me as a joke and the memory of how that felt was seared into my memory. I don't know if it was a trauma but a psychiatrist whom I consulted many years later characterized it as "abuse". I certainly didn't feel that way about it. It has always been a happy memory for me.
My father often rebuked me for doing things "like a girl" and I was always confused by that. I didn't enjoy playing team sports and he thought I should. There was always a sense that I did not live up to whatever his expectations were. So trauma did not seem to be a part of triggering my desire to cross dress.

[AccidentalDresser]

In my case there is certainly no history of trauma or abuse at all that lead me to this unless you count my fiancé leaving me high and dry as a trauma trigger.
My parents were the loveliest most supportive people you could ever wish to meet and my childhood was all happy memories of the times we spent together and the pets and animals that just followed me home from school.

I prefer to think it's a choice I have made and because I look so damned good as my female self. It makes me happy and I am living my life my way now and there is no reason to analyse it unless it starts to have an advers affect on your day to day life.

[emily606]

I had a happy childhood, but when I was 8, I was forced to play a girl's part in a little show at a summer day camp. The experience was traumatic in that I felt shame over being chosen to be one of the girls. We were teased mercilessly and fifty two years later, the fear of someone learning about it makes my heart pound. Who knows if other things triggered it and the show was just one factor, but often I've wondered how my life would have been different had that particular incident had not occurred.

Hugs,

Emily

[joanne51]

From early childhood I've had a stammer, which in the early days made it very difficult to communicate. I had therapy and over the years I became quite fluent.
I still managed to mix quite well, so I wouldn't say I was withdrawn. But I did seem to be blessed with a vivid imagination.
Once I had stumbled upon my mum's clothes during moments alone in the house, my mind seemed to go into overdrive.
Contact with girls was hit and miss, so I suppose I compensated by exploring the feminine world as a T-girl.
Back then it was whatever garment I happened to find. It is only recently during periods where I had the house to myself that I could be completely Joanne.
So those early years meant that my development wasn't the same as say my brother's, and that once I had stumbled upon CD'ing that was it the mould was set.

[Tracii G]

Seems these days everyone want to blame someone else for their situation.
Call it a victim mentality if you will.
Pretty safe to say every body here growing up had a traumatic moment of some kind.
In my case I know I was born this way so no and any trauma I had growing up was not why I CD.

[Taylor Ray]

I find this type of thinking to be extraordinarily limiting and quite offensive.

Whats wrong with cross-dressing? Why does it need an "explanation"?

I can definitely verify the existence of a positive correlation between a killer dress, nice wig, hot shoes, and a wonderful evening.

[Kimonogirl]

In case of my childhood trauma definitely has made me aspiring crossdresser.
Constant ijime by dudes very look Mongol and my maladjustment to Korean totalitarian education system
even have made me hate Asian guys especially Japanese/Korean dudes.

[Alison 15]

I suppose that most people have some kind of trauma in childhood, be it the death of a loved one or family illness for example. Thats just the way that life can be. I also think that we live in a society where there at times has to be a blame for everything. Personally I dress the way I do because I find some female clothing very comfortable to wear . It is a lifestyle choice that I have made.

[Leighcdmd]

I agree with Allison, Taylor and Tracii. Why can we not simply enjoy our crossdressing without engaging in some psycho-babble filled quest for some thing/person/event to blame for our proclivity? Sheesh....pull up your panties and stop taking things so seriously. Life is way too short.

[JessicaMann]

I too, had an awkward childhood. I wasn't as athletic as the boys, not as feminine as the girls. I didn't know any better, just that I was a boy.... I don't know what exactly made me first try on my sister's panties, but it was magical!!! I was about 11 or 12 I think. I know I shouldn't I don't know why I did it, maybe cause I really admired my sister? wanted to be like her? I just felt "right"???? I am far from passable, this much I know! I just feel so sensually complete when I am Jessica!!! I tried to reject her on several occasions.... but she is soo stubborn and wouldn't leave!!! now I am just so glad she stayed! without her... I would be lost! I do have a wife and typical... Jessica is the other woman!!! and she is not welcome when the wife is home! I dress as much as I can, shave, and under dress constantly!!!

[sometimes_miss]

PET scans of the brain have shown that those with gender identity differences (male to female) show more female like patterns in both size and location of PET scan activity when various stimuli are given which suggests that there might be some "internal wiring" changes that occurred during development that results in more of a female brain than a male which is more likely than changes occurring after birth to the wiring.

I've read those. Problem is, there are apparently plenty of 'normal' people who have those same PET scan results that have no gender issues at all. So much for that theory. Thing is, every single thought is just a simply collection of chemical changes, down to the electron (and further). I don't know when science will develop the capacity to figure out exactly which is the defining mechanism of what thoughts we have. Just a matter of time, I suppose, but as it's sort of unethical to do the kind of invasive experiments on humans, It probably wont' happen any time soon.

[carahawkwind]

I had a great childhood. Caring family, did in well school, played a varsity sport, could handle myself in a scrap. I'm kind of a weird introvert so never had a large circle of friends, but the ones I had were pretty good, and people in general mostly respected me. I think my dressing is largely related to having a mind that wants to explore a lot of different possibilities in life and gender variation is one of the more provocative subjects to explore in that way.

[StarrOfDelite]

The opinion that you quoted sounded to a large extent like the rantings of "Science Deniers" who insist that homosexuality is a choice.

[LexiNexi]

I started when I was about 7 years old so for myself it must be biological? No bad childhood.

[AccidentalDresser]

In my opinion if your looking for an excuse or a traumatic experience to make you feel better about the way you dress then you are doing it all for the wrong reasons and not enjoying it as much as you should be.

Sure there are those with real gender identity issues and that I fully believe and understand.
But if you want to over analyse it and say I dress because I saw my dog hit by a car when I was 12 then perhaps the real problem is that you can't or won't accept yourself for who you are and what makes you happy.
Worst part about that is that you won't be happy until you can proudly stand up and say "I am a cross dresser and I do it because I am fabulous"

[Nolwenn Elizabeth]

I was the victim of childhood sexual abuse (CSA) at the ages of 3 to 5. I have always, as long as I can remember, wanted to be a girl. But never a TG, just a real bio girl. Just wake up one day and POOF! I'm BIO female. My brother is 2 years older than me, abused by the same older male cousin, and while he did cross dress in HS & college a bit, he doesn't have the same desire for it that I do. I *do* have a lot of problems with sex and anger due to the CSA and other facets of my skewed point of view due to it. But I know that many girls and boys are assaulted and are NOT CD or TG, some are gay and some are not. I think my gender identity issues come from that, but there are other things in other boys that can cause that. I'm not a psychologist. I can only speak for myself. for me CD is my private little sandbox, and I really don't want to join in it with anyone else. My wife is aware of it, is OK with it and doesn't bother me about it. Ultimately it is our individual choice as to how we express this side of our personality. There is no "right" way or "wrong" way or "right or wrong" reason to do it. *In general*, If it doesn't cause pain (i.e. "damage-type" pain, drawing blood or hurting permanently, not BDSM) or isn't dangerous, or illegal, to you personally or someone else, Then it is OK. It's Fine. Sex in most forms is an OK, positive experience. I would be overstretching my own boundaries to say "you should experience things this way." To say "THIS WAY WORKS FOR ME" is OK. I mean go to virtually any porn site. look at how many specific categories there are. People are into and want every possible thing.

I feel strongly that this is an individual journey, just like the rest of our individual sexualities and sexual identities. Getting hormones and going out "en Femme*," would not work for me. I would not enjoy it, so I don't do it. I did spend a few hundred dollars (I have that money now) on new breast forms, wigs and a corset and bra. I haven't had the money to do this before. They should be here today. I'm really looking forward to it. A close friend since high school, (35 years) is gay and she's been relating some helpful info about how I can resolve my anger issues. It's very helpful, but separate from my CD. I personally view cross dressing as separate from transgendered because it's just easier for me to keep straight. Nothing deep. Cross dressers wear women's clothes but have no plans to have sex-reassignment surgery. Transgendered people plan to have the surgery at some point. Just a way for me to organize my brain. nothing personal for or against anybody. We all should try to do what we think is right for us and our loved ones.

Dawn Michelle
*For those who don't speak French: "en Femme" is pronounced "on Fahm" and literally translated means "in Female" :battingeyelashes:

[sometimes_miss]

Not saying it's impossible but I have to question why studies by social scientists and psychologists can't turn up a correlation?
Correlation does not prove causation, despite what the majority of current news media companies seem to believe.

[jeanieinabottle]

In response to sometimes_miss,
I'm not sure that plenty and "normal" are real good statistical or medical terms. But I do know that when the studies with the PET scans were done, those that I've read, the p values which determine statistical significance and validity were high enough to suggest that there might be something to the study. Having participated in a number of medical studies, It would be rare to see studies that are 100% in anything and if I read one of those, I almost automatically think it is flawed since that doesn't happen because there are always outliers. Normal is often considered 2 standard deviations from the mean which means that there will always be some (not plenty) outside the bell curve. Also not sure what can go beyond electrons.
but my original premise was that even though there are some medical suggestions concerning gender identity differences, it is much more of a multifactoral problem and to think that everyone is the same and has the same reason is pure folly. If someone wants to blame this or that, I have no problem with that since it is their life and who am I to suggest that I know their life or how they think. As for me, my childhood was good. Therefore, I have no regrets and I feel that I was meant to be who I am and I'm perfectly happy and content with that. Thats Life!
Dr. J

[Nolwenn Elizabeth]

I was thinking, this may not be that deep. GGs have a lot more freedom when choosing to express their sexuality / clothing. Men are more strict. i.e. a woman can wear tight jeans and boots and a cowboy hat, or a skirt, or a pair of sweat pants and t-shirt, etc. To maintain my "manly" image the cowboy boots and hat are the only sure thing. Even sweat pants and a t-shirt can be looked at as "wrong" in some circles. And what happens when you put a cover on a pot and turn up the heat? It boils over. Seems simple. I'm content with the level I participate in CD and have a supportive wife to boot. I don't think there is going to be a correlation between cross dressing and Childhood Sexual Assault (CSA). There are many traumas suffered by children all over the world, (War, natural disasters, etc) and we don't see an increase in cross dressing. CSA and cross dressing hasn't been studied enough but I doubt there is one there either. The important question, is does it matter? Does it make CD bad, good, or inevitable? Again, It doesn't hurt anyone, so have fun with it.

[Barbara Black]

Reflecting back, again, I realized that perhaps the trauma I experienced was that my father and mother yelled constantly and loudly when I was very small. By five he no longer lived there and visited very seldom. Whether it was a trigger for CDing, I doubt, having little to do with my attitudes ten years or so later. I was abused at about ten, but I have always considered it minor, except that I still remember it vividly, so apparently it wasn’t so minor. Effects towards CDing? I couldn’t say without therapy.
I liked sometimes miss’s categorizing of male/female traits, but they don’t work much to me, except that perhaps I am caught in the middle of them, expectedly. I can multi-task, I have good spatial capabilities, but whether I think like a girl or not? I can’t say, I don’t really see the difference, which may explain itself I guess?
In the long run, I expect I would have been CDing, or even considering myself TG, but probably more for genetic reasons than experience. Why I was abused was probably because I was effeminate at the time.
Sorry to go off subject, but I love language and words: Katie888, what is a budgerigar, and jennie_cd, what is boojum. I love being able to talk around the world and learning the specifics of so many different aspects of people I’ll doubtfully ever met face to face.
Oh, Dawn Michelle: you have a lovely eye. :-)

[Sarah-RT]

My dad wasn't around but I lived in a loving home, I didn't have any particular male role models but I grew up playing football with the guys, watching Jurassic park and Star Wars and playing with action figures. I once crossed dressed an action man figured I had because I thought it would be interesting.
I would imagine it is just genetics and bad luck that we have to turn into something good, no trauma would cause that.

There is the stereotype that hookers and strip dancers were sexually abused but I read an article once from a sex worker stating that women who are abused or raped are afraid of sex and it is the last industry they would end up working in

[Hannah Adams]

My only childhood trauma was getting caught dressing , two sisters and I started dressing at 6 lol . when I was in my teens my sister when mad at me would ask what color panties I was wearing , pretty traumatic for me anyway.