Cross dresser I.D. signal to other CD's

[Marcie]

I recently read the forum item regarding "what to do if you run into another person you think is also a cross dresser in public". It would be nice if we could come up with some sort of signal, for example; "place your two hands together almost like praying." In response, the other party would also do the same, therefore breaking the ice to some interesting conversation. There are many of us out there that would like to have some sort of a passive signal to identify our brave sisters out in public without being too invasive.

If anyone has other suggestions, please give some input to something that could be an international signal to all our sisters, which venture out in the world:battingeyelashes:

[Kate Simmons]

The problem with a signal is that they don't stay "secret" for long, especially if the media gets ahold of it. Then you may end up being deceived by someone who doesn't have your best interests at heart. :)

[Katey888]

Think you need some work on that signal Marcie...

I'm guessing you'll be making friends with every Hindu, buddhist and a fair few priests of other faiths before you bump into another CDer... ;)

Perhaps it's best just to go to planned social events where everyone is expecting to socialise and... well... if it's a CD event you're in with a good chance to spot one or two. :) I just can't believe that most of us who do the 'in public' thing are necessarily interested in being accosted by other CDers in public places - if they're out aren't they out for a reason? As in: not to meet anyone? I'll leave the shoppers here to answer that one...

Perhaps I'm just being too British... but not all CDers are as 'civilised' as the folk on this forum... some of the offers I've had on other sites would make your dangly earrings stand on end... :eek:

Katey x

[pamela7]

not all CDers are as 'civilised' as the folk on this forum... some of the offers I've had on other sites would make your dangly earrings stand on end... :eek:
Katey x

go on ... we need to know about the "seedy" side and dangers too

[crystaltvco]

There used to be a group called Pinky Pals. But it was more for transwomen.

This could be something cool maybe? I checked the Yahoo group but no new messages since Dec 2013 so that group is effectively dead.

And Kate makes a great point, sadly..

[StarrOfDelite]

How about just walking up to the person whom you suspect is "one of us," slapping her on the back and asking jovially, "If you show me yours I'll show you mine?"

[Jean 103]

I can’t speak for anyone else, but if you see me out and about just say hi. I go out a lot, pretty comfortable being out in public. If I see you don’t worry I will respect your privacy. It's not likely anyway Marcie because I'm not planning a trip to Canada anytime soon.

[I Am Paula]

If you acknowledge a TS person, you are telling them they failed to disappear into the GG mainstream. Don't do it.

[Jorja]

We used to have super secret decoder rings but some goofball messed up the code and when we tried to decode we set off the Tranny alarm.

[Rachael Leigh]

I say just wear a button that says I'm a CD and proud of it.
No really just be polite and engage if you see someone that's all I want

[Sarah-RT]

im thinking some sort of gang sign would go down best haha!

[junetv]

If you acknowledge a TS person, you are telling them they failed to disappear into the GG mainstream. Don't do it.


What Paula said - I made this mistake 16 years ago. It was one of the most awkward moments of my life. Even though it may be the 800 lb gorilla in the room, just let it stay there until she brings it out.

[docrobbysherry]

What about a secret hand shake? Maybe tuck in the baby finger? No one but the shake-ees would notice!?:D

[Kelli Jo-ann]

I agree with paula.

[MsVal]

Aha! Another smartphone app idea.

An app that would alert users if someone "interesting" was nearby and optionally open a communications channel (text, voice, etc)

Using GPS, Near Field Communication, and a database of desirable and unwanted characteristics, people could meet others with similar interests. A 'stealth' mode would allow users to find others without being discovered themselves.

You're welcome.

Best wishes
MsVal

[jaye_cd]

Call it 'dressr' and everyone shows up as little pink fog clouds on the map.

Nothing good could come of it.

[pamela7]

it's too dangerous - in the wrong hands - haters - it would become a targeting weapon

[charlenesomeone]

How about pins with transgender flag or pink and blue yin and yang.
Again no way to stop the info from getting to those that may have
ill intentions.

[Zylia]

A perfect passive signal would be the fact that both of you probably look like a guy in women's clothes :D Just look for the ones in nude hose and size 12 patent pumps.

[PaulaQ]

How about walking over to them, and striking up a friendly conversation, not about being trans? If one or both of you still sound like men when you speak, well, there's your sign. This isn't foolproof - some of us do put effort into developing a feminine voice. But unless you are just a natural at this, it is an immense amount of work to develop a passable voice, and it's even more difficult if you only use it part time.

[Marcie]

I thank everyone for their responses and realize you are all right. I could be very dangerous if a simple communication signal was in the wrong hands. I really hadn't thought things through when I posted this thread. Lets just forget this suggestion

[Katey888]

Marcie,

It's always better to talk things through in a safe place amongst friends.. much better than just going out and trying it for real.. and the discussion here helps educate and inform a lot of people that read it... :)


How about pins with transgender flag or pink and blue yin and yang.


I really like this idea - particularly the cd.com logo - who would know, other than us? And if someone asked who obviously didn't know, you'd just say it's a logo for a support forum... most folk wouldn't go further... this could be our first bit of merchandising... hmmmm... :thinking:

Katey x

[Jocelyn Quivers]

im thinking some sort of gang sign would go down best haha!


Good in theory except if you get the gang signal wrong, or a member of the actual gang is around and is like "dat fool jus disrespected our set, time to break yo self!" Of course the odds of this happening in local payless, dress barn, or goodwill is probably Negligible. I say go with devil horn hand sign popular at metal concerts. THe person could be a metal fan, or a Cross dresser. Just be prepared to have answers for any possibility. Deuce!!!

[CarlaWestin]

Inevitably, that unfortunately mustachioed woman is going to get tired of all those funny women with broad shoulders and big feet giving her gang signs. That's when the pistol comes out of her purse. Most of us have seen that knowing look and accepting smile from GG's. Maybe the same courtesy applies.

[Jenny Elwood]

Why not do the MJ crotch grab, then everyone will be sure to say: "Look at those pervert(s) out in public!". Seriously, what about some polite conversation, something along the lines of:

"You look nice."

If they respond with a smile and a (like me):

"Why thank you!"

And seeing as voice training isn't on my to-do list you'll know two things: I'm a CD and I'm willing to have a chat (otherwise I'd have made a break for it). On the rare occasions I've been out (too tall to blend let alone pass unless I'm sitting down), I did not mind people engaging me if they were polite, friendly and treated me like a decent human being. It's actually nice if someone actually makes the effort, as opposed to everyone ignoring you after their second glance. Being out on my own the last time (no-one but my wife to go with) I actually got lonely!

But as with everything in life reactions will vary. Some people, who are really serious about passing, may take offence so better make a hasty retreat then.

[Marcelle]

Hi Marcie,

How about the Vulcan sign or a loud Klingon "Kaplah" . . . oh wait that would be nerdy folks . . . just kidding. :)

To be honest, I prefer to let sleeping dogs lie. If a trans person recognizes me as one of the tribe and decides to come up say howdy (secret handshake aside), I would respond in kind but that is me. There are many, some who may not be comfortable in public, don't want to draw attention prefer not to be recognized or just want to blend, that even a simple secret sign could be unnerving.

Hugs

Isha

[michelleddg]

I few years ago I was in the "big girl chair" at MAC getting a makeover. Half way through so to the trained eye I was a dude, to the casual observer possibly not. A pleasant young man walked by and said "Hi, I'm Rochelle, you're going to look tremendous." I thought that was lovely. Hugs, Michelle

[Pat]

Hi Isha --

Maybe the secret sign should be that we smile vaguely and avoid eye contact? Wait! All those folks on the street... they're all crossdressers!!!

[deebra]

Marcie I agree with your post and disagree with most threads, if CD's had a signal such as holding your right ear lobe for a few seconds when making eye contact could lead to a conversation and possibly a local friend.

[BillieJoEllen]

A few years ago someone mentioned wearing a lavender wristband on their left wrist. I believe that was recommended on this site. I wore one for years with no response nor did I see anyone else wear one.

[pamela7]

cd.com logo - who would know, other than us? And if someone asked who obviously didn't know, you'd just say it's a logo for a support forum... most folk wouldn't go further... this could be our first bit of merchandising... hmmmm... :thinking:

Katey x

yes, that I feel, tho even this discussion of it should be outside of prying eyes.

[Lorileah]

methinks if they wanted you to know they would have something you could see that would give them away. Isn't the idea to pass without notice? And if you need a signal, then they have passed without notice

This first time you "out" a TS won't be pretty either

[Tiffany Jane]

Why not do the MJ crotch grab, then everyone will be sure to say: "Look at those pervert(s) out in public!". Seriously, what about some polite conversation, something along the lines of:

"You look nice."

If they respond with a smile and a (like me):

"Why thank you!"

And seeing as voice training isn't on my to-do list you'll know two things: I'm a CD and I'm willing to have a chat (otherwise I'd have made a break for it). On the rare occasions I've been out (too tall to blend let alone pass unless I'm sitting down), I did not mind people engaging me if they were polite, friendly and treated me like a decent human being. It's actually nice if someone actually makes the effort, as opposed to everyone ignoring you after their second glance. Being out on my own the last time (no-one but my wife to go with) I actually got lonely!

But as with everything in life reactions will vary. Some people, who are really serious about passing, may take offence so better make a hasty retreat then.


As were my thoughts. Civility doesn't need its unique signal. Also I would imagine a person trying to blend (pass) wouldn't want extra attention brought to themselves as surrounding people wonder why an out of place or unknown gesture was given. But then again I tend to watch everyone around me regardless of how I am presenting myself.

[Beverley Sims]

I tend to do nothing, they may just be less attractive women.

[Tracii G]

This has been discussed many times on here and no one can ever agree on anything.
Just treat them like any other woman and leave them alone.
If a convo does start then be nice and give a compliment and don't make a big deal of it.

[MelanieAnne]

I'll take "Secret Handshakes" for $200, Alex.:brolleyes:

[sometimes_miss]

it's too dangerous - in the wrong hands - haters - it would become a targeting weapon

^this. Far too many people consider us perverts, and a danger to their children simply because we exist. There would be rednecks with smartphones in their cars, driving around just looking for one of us to run over or attack. Again, consider Isha's recent experience. WE ARE NOT SAFE. We are targets just because we exist. Just consider it one of the really negative parts of the 'genuine girl experience' so many want to live out.

[pamela7]

^this. Far too many people consider us perverts, and a danger to their children simply because we exist. There would be rednecks with smartphones in their cars, driving around just looking for one of us to run over or attack. Again, consider Isha's recent experience. WE ARE NOT SAFE. We are targets just because we exist. Just consider it one of the really negative parts of the 'genuine girl experience' so many want to live out.

and that is why CD and the full T must be properly explained and publicised so people realise this is the LEAST threatening, LEAST dangerous demographic there could possibly be. Superheroes all.

[Paula Siemen]

Yeh...I think I like the "Hi sign" from the Little Rascles" movies.....ya know the up and down hand wave from under the chin. That way if any one saw us....we'd have an aliby.

[ophelia]

As long as it is clear and nothing nasal, so as to lead to unfortunate "Seinfeld" moments, as in: "It was a scratch.......not a pick!".

[Amy Lynn3]

Yes, Billie I remember those days, when we all wore rubber bands on our wrist. I never saw any and I never was contacted. Maybe we could do that again. That way we would not need to say one word, provided the other party saw us wearing one.

[sometimes_miss]

Yes, Billie I remember those days, when we all wore rubber bands on our wrist.
Nope, lots of people who work with the mail and packaging do that. So that one's out.

[Lynn Marie]

I've come to the conclusion that if people want to be my friend, they'll come to me. I've been very unsuccessful at reaching out to other CDs on this forum and elsewhere. It just seems like we either have very different ideas on presentation, or they have way too many fears to be out the door, or I scare them by being far too bold and confident. For what seems like the vast majority of CDs, this is a solitary avocation best played hidden from view.

[Karen kc]

Im with Billie and Amy, I remember!

[CynthiaD]

When I go out en femme, I want to be treated like a lady, not a "reasonable facsimile." If I see someone presenting as a woman, she is a woman. Period.

Of course there was this guy/gal I encountered in Vegas wearing a full beard and a brides maid dress ...

[Jorja]

Hey, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!:)

[DianeDeBris]

this could be our first bit of merchandising... hmmmm...
I could swear that, five or six years ago, someone here was selling pins that were a combination of the medical symbols for male and female: a circle with both an arrow protruding at the 2:00 position and a cross protruding downward at the 6:00 position. Does anyone else remember this, or have the Bad Dreams come back?
Hugs - Diane

[DorothyElizabeth]

I want a pair of pink/blue yin/yang cufflinks that I can wear for those occasions when I have to be "under dressed". Or maybe a bowtie (or even a long tie) with a bunch of them like a polka dot pattern.

[VAWyman]

Marcie I agree with your post and disagree with most threads, if CD's had a signal such as holding your right ear lobe for a few seconds when making eye contact could lead to a conversation and possibly a local friend.

Especially if the earlobe has an earring dangling from it.

[Amy Lynn3]

sometimes_miss, do you think all the postal workers that have rubber bands on their wrist are crossdressers ? I bet that is what happened to all the mail order lingerie that I ordered. Every time they score with a package full of lingerie they add a different color rubber band on top of the others. :brolleyes:

[Jorja]

You mean all the postal workers aren't crossdressers? I'm going to have to recalibrate my detector then.

[Jonithan]

I'll be sporting the "slide the thumb off the other hand" trick. A few months back I went out, drab, underdressed B and P, to dinner with the kids. As the waitress came over to our table I think she asked if we were ready to order. I don't remember, all I know was I covered my chest with higher than normal crossed arms. The only thing that was going through my mind was the line from Pretty Woman. "Stop fidgeting". "You're fidgeting". I don't even remember what I ordered.

So, if you're ever in Sonoma County, my sign is absurdly high crossed arms and fidgety...

joni