Question please!

[Ursa]

Hi people, new to here, seems a good place for fellow ****s like me! :D

Anyway, my main reason for this thread is to ask, do people feel the same as me as regarding dressing, before, and during the build up and during orgasm the feeling is fantastic, the suspense, the thrill, the feel of the PVC all over my body, however.....

As soon as the orgasm is done, its like someone flicks a switch in my brain and i feel very guilty, the need to get the clothes off quickly and almost like i should just throw them away! Then of course an hour later the urge to put those thighboots etc back on returns....:o

I ask, do others get this same feeling everytime after orgasm, is it normal, is it just me, how do you deal with it?

All advice appreciated!

x

[Cathy Anderson]

> All advice appreciated!

No, I don't think it's normal (whatever that means in this context). More importantly, I don't think it contributes to your wellbeing.

It's common for crossdressers (and noncrossdressers) to report feelings of regret or disgust after masturbation, but you make your situation sound unusually intense.

Crossdressing seems in some ways like a dynamic equilibrium. You are radically bouncing between extreme states, like a tight spring that's been kicked. It might be a vicious circle: first you masturbate intensely, then you become intensely regretful, and then maybe those feelings of unhappiness lead to the perceived need to masturbate again to calm you down. Maybe there's a way to find a milder oscillation, alternation, balance or equilibrium between whatever energies are involved.

Also, it sounds like you pretty much run together the notions of crossdressing, being a ****, and masturbation. I'm not criticizing, just observing. Note that these are three different issues. For example, it's not clear whether you feel guilty about the crossdressing, the masturbation, the "****ty" mentality, etc.

IMHO, people make progress when they learn to separate the feminine aspects of crossdressing from the ****ty ideas.

Another thing: in my experience, there is more pleasure in the feelings of being a good girl than in doing nasty boy masturbation (ycch!) things.

Just my .02.

Cathy

[Donnie]

used to be the case Ursa, not now. The joy of staying dressed and hanging out doing whatever after, maybe, well, you know, is a great feeling. Dont feel guilty.

[suanne]

Hi Ursa. Well to start with. I am in the closet. I dress for myself. How I look and feel.....well I don't want to look like Mrs. Doubtfire although she is cool. I love nylon, pvc, lycra clothing etc. Under that my tastes are girdles, garter belts, sheer PH, nylons and thigh highs, plus bras, slips (full and half) camisoles, etc. Shoes must be high heel. Boots, thigh high or what ever, and patent leather really pushes a hot button.

I dress for my pleasure.....period. When I am finished with my time of pleasure Suanne goes back in the box so to speak. That pleasure doesn't always end at any certain time, but I really can't spend that much time dressed so...it usually ends when the pleasure ends.;)

I think quite a few of us can say a serious "yes we do too" to your main question. Guilt + guilt = purging. But after awhile and purging many times you sooner or later figure out that cding is a part of you and you learn to live with it and enjoy yourself.

Hope this gives you a good reply to your questions. It is my true feelings on the matter plus over 50 years of experience of cding. I think you have already figured out that we are a group of cders with many different desires and personalities. No two are exactly the same....everyone is different but most if not all love to dress for one reason or another.:D

Now don't worry (if you are) just enjoy your dressing time. The great thing about this is all the support you can get by just doing what you are..... by talking to us. :clap:



Suanne

[Tiffy]

I use to feel that way after orgasam. The feeling of guilt is a bitch. Gets a little better as time goes by. But, still happens from time to time. And time is all that seems to help and making myself stay dressed after orgasam and go and do other non sexual things.

Kisses, April Marie

[cd-Jennifer]

for me once my wife found out I was a cd it got allot better I still
have the same kind of feeling but it is getting better over time

Jenny

[Julia Cross]

I have found those feelings have wained through the years, now I dress because it how I feel comfortable and I am attracted to the feminine look and feel. The sexual aspect has really dropped off.

Julia

[Kristina Marie]

Yes i to feel the same at times after orgasm. Though my guilt doesn't seem that intense as you say your's is. I've just accepted the fact that this is part of who I am, and maybe thats why I don't feel really guilty.

[Kera_dove]

As soon as the orgasm is done, its like someone flicks a switch in my brain and i feel very guilty, the need to get the clothes off quickly and almost like i should just throw them away! Then of course an hour later the urge to put those thighboots etc back on returns....:o

All advice appreciated!

x

Hey Ursa Welcome sweety. I remember my teen years being in the house by myself I'd be all dressed up and the new hormons (sp) Rageing through my body. ((Ahhh the chaos of puberty)) But everytime I would masterbate I would have to undress because I felt I would get cought and shot. So I would strip down and cover up with a blanket.

Now that that is said to me it was a feeling of guilt for masterbateing and the clouths because I knew they weren't mine. I can say that after a while ((2 years for me hun)) it went away when I became accepting of my body and that I was a crossdresser the clouths stayed on longer. I promise you hunny that its something you grow out of.

Good luck hunny
Love
:be: ~Kera

[ericafemme]

I know that feeling. Ive been there. All dressed up and sexy . hot and turned on, chaattin online with a few sexy friends, watchung porn, or maybe your new issue of transformation. Getting into it then all the sudden wham it comes. then after your climax you undress and put away your clothes. with that what am i doing feeling. after awhile you slip back into your panties then into some hose. before you know it the bras back on heels in place and the womens back in you. I dont know the actual reason for it. could be a "gay male" or "male" thing meaning the masculine part of the climax tookhty. re and nigover. Ive been with a man as a man a few times and never thought of dressing iin our heat of passion. But now i enjoy being women with my man. We get together and i end up in my sexy lingere and nighty. when we make love we have so much passion that feelings noe gone. we worked on it now we figured out that we can be together as boyfriend and girlfriend and i havent had that feeling since. basically when the time comes and im ready to climax, we are in each others arms and we french kiss tons, so its actually a beautifull experience shared between two lovers. all in all, its normal i feel. hang in there baby. get yourself a lover. or come share with us.

[Melinda G]

I usually want to get the stuff off when I'm done. But no heavy feelings of guilt. But within an hour, I'm ready to put the stuff back on.

[Donnie]

the STUFF going back on is quite a thrill aye!

[MsJanessa]

hon years ago I felt that way but no more---in fact last night after a session with one of My lovers, I changed out of the leather put on "normal" femme clothes---skirt and sweater--and went out to a local bar where I had a great evening---probably was because I was more relaxed.

[SandraInHose]

Yes, I would always be disgusted with myself when I finished, and would feel guilty and quickly undress. (But, like everyone else, I'd want to be dressed up again in an hour!)

As I got older, I felt this way less and less. However, while my guilt may be dwindling, I do find that after masturbating I have this strong desire to 'man up'. I often will go lift weights or work on my truck or something like that.

[Shannah]

I used to feel the same way. No matter if I was masterbating while dressed up or playing with sex toys or both. My thoughts after orgasm were, "What the hell am I doing?" and picking up and putting away toys and fem clothes as fast as possible. My currant girlfriend is as sexually deviant as I am and loves my cding. I no longer have to hide my toys or clothes and I no longer have feelings of guilt over my cding or my sexual desires. Now, after sex, I often go to sleep in my lingerie and get to enjoy the feeling all night long.

[Sharon B.]

I have felt that same feeling also, but as the girls have said over time that disgruntling feeling does go away.
If you have to mastubrate, when you are finished keep the clothes on and do something to take your mind off of what you just done. Grab a purse on go out for a drive, take a walk outside or if nothing else take a smoke but relax and enjoy your time as a woman.

[Gisele]

I use to feel the same way. Now that time has gone by I stay dressed as a girl and go on to doing other things and maybe a few hours later I get into the "mood" again. I then take care of business and go on.

I use to think what in the hell am I doing and dress back to male mode and do guy things around the house. Now and then I think of a guy on top of me while I am doing the deed and after I finish I want to barf for thinking of another man. I can only think it is because as I am a "girl" it is natural to think of men. I don't know.

Beth

[tara 24-7]

there all spot on hun 100% as usual, and welcome to us mad lot and the forum, kisses tara xxxxx

[Missy]

Ok I feel the same way then I got fed up with it and talked to a good friend. A question was asked that I could not answer, and I am still looking for the answer.
The question is "What need am I tring to fill?"

I feel that once the answer hits me I will not feel this way

Missy

[helena thomson]

I feel exactly the same when I wear my latex rubber outfits. I have a fantastic orgasim, then change then want to change back and feel the rubber cling to me. It is oh so nice to be wet!

helena
:D

[CammyT]

Aloha,
OMG! I must really be a ****! No guilty feelings at all, actually quite the opposite. I feel so hmmmm........ naughty! Love to just lay back and enjoy the afterglow! Purrrr.... :GE:

[MarinaTwelve200]

As soon as the orgasm is done, its like someone flicks a switch in my brain and i feel very guilty, the need to get the clothes off quickly and almost like i should just throw them away! Then of course an hour later the urge to put those thighboots etc back on returns....:o

I ask, do others get this same feeling everytime after orgasm, is it normal, is it just me, how do you deal with it?

All advice appreciated!

x

Yes--sorta===I dont feel "Guilty" but I DO feel very "Foolish" but "satisfied" and cant wait to "dissassemble"----Indeed , an orgasim is how i usually END a dressup session.

I now usually "bask" in the feeling while dressed.---Saving the orgasim till I am finished which may be as long as a day or two later, before I decide to "end" it.

I use to dress for the orgasim at the end---but now I like the relaxing feeling WHILE dressed--so I save the orgasim for when I think its time to get back to being a male again---ending the session with a bang---and from there actually feeling driven to get out of costume as quickly as possible.

[Miriannah]

This same thing came up in another thread yesterday or so. ;) Anyway, I think it's because most dress up for sexual gratification, and (as someone in the other thread mentioned) the male body releases a hormone to suppress the sex drive after orgasm. Because of this temporarily suppressed sexuality, the desire to be dressed up just flatlines, and this paves the way for any feelings of guilt, akwardness, or even the I-don't-wanna-be-caught-in-these feeling.

When I lived by myself and didn't need to go out for anything for awhile, I'd dress myself up for days. At first, I too wanted to yank the clothes off after an orgasm, but after realizing "hey, nobody here is going to catch me in these..." I just left 'em on. Ever since, it's just felt so much nicer to just lay back and think "aah, this feels nice" instead of changing back. Of course, in my current housing situation, I change out of them asap because I never really know when people will be home. :(

[kwebb]

So why do we feel this guilt? What is the underlying reason for it? It seems a common thread at one time oir another for us all. Or most of us. I used to think it was just pitiful. Just a shame that a grown man will do this kind of thing. Is it some kind of sickness?

[Gilded Graper]

As soon as the orgasm is done, its like someone flicks a switch in my brain and i feel very guilty
That's a door to another sexual world. If you wish to visit consider me catching you at the orgasm and you can't stop until you're done.

You'd feel guilty and shame, then I slap you saying, "you sick scum!" :angry:

Obviously, your partner must know the other side of the door mentioned above

[Vivian_Anne_1]

I have never felt that way. I want to stay dressed all the time. I enjoy the feelings that I have.:D

[Gilded Graper]

kwebb:
So why do we feel this guilt? What is the underlying reason for it? It seems a common thread at one time oir another for us all. Or most of us. I used to think it was just pitiful. Just a shame that a grown man will do this kind of thing. Is it some kind of sickness?

Consider all those women who cry and feel depressed after a violent orgasm. Long sex and violent orgasm depletes the sugar in our body and the low sugar depression, like any depression triggers negative thoughts, in our case what just happened.

The negative thoughts, if unchecked, leads to deeper depression, which leads to deeper negative thoughts and the cycle continues until sugar starts to returns to normal.

As we continue our perverted sex, each episode becomes less intense, we get jaded.

Just like CDing too much leads to doing it with others and soon looking at Victoria Secret catalog no longer arouses us.

[kwebb]

So you think it is perverted.

[pauleen]

I know everybody is different ,but I still do feel guilt after release ,but if I have the day to myself I try to do somthing else while still dressed ,and the feelings do come back. esp if I change shoes. But always I try to supress sexual desires before release do all house work before play time or I chat on here while dressed and try not to think of anything sexual. Alot of you gurls on here have seem mystyle of dress its mostly conservative ecept for a few outfits my heels are another story. if you feel guilty try to supress you sexual desires ,and injoy the feeling of being in femme.

[cyndyw]

As i get older, I can not be sexually relieved by dressing, but being complely dressed in heels, pantyhose, etc sure feels so enjoyable.

[DanaJ]

kwebb:

Consider all those women who cry and feel depressed after a violent orgasm. Long sex and violent orgasm depletes the sugar in our body and the low sugar depression, like any depression triggers negative thoughts, in our case what just happened.

The negative thoughts, if unchecked, leads to deeper depression, which leads to deeper negative thoughts and the cycle continues until sugar starts to returns to normal.

As we continue our perverted sex, each episode becomes less intense, we get jaded.

Just like CDing too much leads to doing it with others and soon looking at Victoria Secret catalog no longer arouses us.
How about just eating chocolate immediately after sex?

Oh - and your statement about CDing too much leads to doing it with others? Uhhhhhhh - no, sorry.....

[trannie T]

When I first started dressing I felt exactly the same way. The more my acceptance of myself as a crossdresser increased my feelings of shame and embarrasment decreased. You are not doing anything wrong by wearing women's clothing. You are not alone. Your feelings of guilt will decrease over time.

[sparks]

I think the guilt is all part of the package. Most of are raised with the beliefs boys are boys and girls are girls. These are boy cloths and these are girl cloths. So when we slip on those panties for the first time with that overwhelming feeling of TABBOO! They feel so good on our skin and are we not being naughty! Of course our little sargents are at attention awaiting the generals orders.
Bang! The rifle is empty and back to normal train of thought. What have I just done.
Some will lose the guilty feeling but I think some are addicted to it because being naughty is pretty intense and as I said before part of the full meal deal!
I'm not sure if all of that made sense! Cause it is late here really late!

[Khriss]

... nah.. it's the absorbed tetra-phenol-hydrocarbons from the "pvc" that mess with yer head ! (and genetic structure) .....

joking !!! (thegreatestthingYou'llfindhereistherealizationtha tYouareNotAloneeh?) :eek: :D xx"K"

[Clare]

How to answer? Well, it seems everyone goes through stages in their crossdressing activities.

When I was young, it was a sexual thing at one point - something like you have described. But as I matured and my crossdressing interests expanded to include other aspects, the sexual part has almost disappeared. These days, I can dress fully enfemme all weekend and at night take off my clothes and makeup and just simply go to bed without a second thought.

Which brings me back to my main point. Yes, you may be experiencing intense reactions to your crosdressing as it is now, but over time you will discover alternatives which will mitigate past experiences somewhat. Well, that's what happened to me over thirty years!