I should'nt have done it

[Allisa]

Well I have off; from a lack of work (darn weather) and we all know what happens when a CDer has time on their hands. It was such a nice day, sun shining not to frigid so I decided that I would pay a visit to the SA that pierced my ears this time in full femme, first time not total femme; somewhere in between. So after I got dressed off to the mall I went and after a little chat and plenty of stares I was on my way home when I decided to stop for lunch and found myself in the parking lot of a large scale convenience store the kind I usually go to lunch when I'm working so I know the type of clientele, needless to say I was very leery about going in but the lot was almost empty since it was around 1 o-clock after lunch rush. Out of my truck(still dirty from weather) I tentatively stepped out but after 1 or 2 steps heard a whistle from a truck parked across from mine with about 4or 5 guys inside, I am passable from a distance but up close not so much, after my purchases with a few confused looks from patrons and staff alike I started back to my truck and just couldn't help but add sway to my walk as I was being watched by the guys in the truck and then once inside, with key in ignition, doors locked I began the show of eating my lunch in a some what ultra femme way, licking my lips, sucking on the straw, all the while watching the other truck and the actions of it's occupants with heads nodding yes and no's,I'm thinking trying to figure out what I was. After eating I proceeded to freshen up, brush hair and flip, pout and apply lipstick slowly, then in gear and off I went watching behind me for any sight of that truck behind me, I stayed on a major highway patrolled by state troopers just in case any thing happened. I know what it's like from the other side watching a female (or some ones dad or brother or nephew or uncle) teasing me and my cohorts, I know" I shouldn't have done it".

[jeank]

What do you mean, "shouldn't have done it".

Sounds like exactly the sort of thing that would have been a blast to have done.

Good on ya.

[Lorileah]

I agree you shuntna done it. First, you give GGs a bad rap by acting so blatant. Second you really could have put yourself in danger. As they say "It's all fun until someone loses an eye"

[Kate T]

I'm with Lori on this. I mean let's face it what we really need in society is more objectification and sexualisation of women. NOT.

[mykell]

you should have been more cautious :spank: why put yourself through all that, glad they were too busy to mess with you :beatup: dont need any more bad news around here....

[Suzie Petersen]

That counts as Flirting ..... with disaster!!

Now, go freshen up your makeup and take a few pictures instead :)

[Victoria Demeanor]

I don't know Allisa, Sounds like you had fun and GG's do it all the time. As long as you played it safe. Sounds like you were aware of your surroundings and had the fore-site to lock the truck when you got in it.
I'm going to say you go girl glad you had a fun day.

[Brandy Mathews]

I have to agree with the other girls and say that was a kind of risky move. Might have gotten your heart beating, made you feel nice, but I believe that we should not put ourselves in that spot, just as GG's shouldn't tease people either.
Hugs,
Bree :)

[Greenie]

As a GG. No we do not do this all the time. :/

[Candice Mae]

Greenie, you would be surprised what normal daily actions preformed by a GG are considered teasing.

[Greenie]

Apparently being thirsty, and not having a napkin to get the ketchup off your lip. Supposing that means they ask for it though huh?

[Helen_Highwater]

This is the "If a GG wears a mini skirt then she's asking for it" dilemma. A GG should be able to dress how she wants and not be afraid that she'll be the victim of a sexual assault. However, it is possible to send out deliberate signals that indicate a certain willingness for contact. We're an animal like any other and respond to signals from the opposite sex.

OK the argument goes that we're intelligent beings and should operate at a higher level of consciousness. But that works both ways. Sending signals that are overtly sexual is a positive choice. If you don't want the consequences of the response, don't expect the recipient to second guess your intentions.

Aliisa,
I don't wish to offend but I feel you pandered to your own ego . You made a positive choice to flirt and in doing so placed yourself in danger. Any inappropriate action on the part of the voyeuristic males would have been inexcusable but that doesn't save you from a very unpleasant experience. Take the advice so often given here and stay safe. As your post title says. "I shouldn't have done it"

[Allisa]

Thanx every one for thinking of my safety, but I thought this scenario out before acting on it, it would have taken too long to tell of the thought pattern and I was in a familiar area on a heavily traveled main thoroughfare. As far as flirting goes it does happen and more than one may think and yes there are scum bags that act inappropriate but for the most part it is taken as a flirt and nothing more. Lets not forget I've been on the other side of what I did. In other words I was giving back what started as a whistle directed at me. So please do not read more into it than what it was. I in no way intended to degrade or belittle women, who better to know how to" flirt" with a man than another man? I did not intend to start bad feelings between people.

[Victoria Demeanor]

As a GG. No we do not do this all the time. :/

Sorry Greenie
wasn't trying to be offensive or disrespectful and I was more or less was thinking of mild friendly flirting and not teasing. I do truly apologize, I do tend to speak before I think sometimes or in this case post, but I can admit when I'm wrong.

[Kate T]

I in no way intended to degrade or belittle women, who better to know how to" flirt" with a man than another man?

And yet you did. Not only that but apparently you know better than women how to be attractive to men.

Look Allisa, I'm picking on you and frankly there are others on this forum who have behaved far more inappropriately so this is for anyone who thinks it is just a bit of harmless fun. We constantly moan at how we are not respected and understood by society. We need to take a good long hard look in the mirror and make sure that we are not through word or action disrespecting and objectifying women or others in the community. Sometimes it is inadvertent, that is bad enough (bad because it implies a lack of thought on the consequences to others of our actions). When it is deliberate, that is just ordinary.

[Teresa]

Allisa,
Teasing was possibly too much so perhaps you shouldn't have done it , especially with what happened to Isha being attacked !
I've had some verbal fun being caught semi dressed when walking the dog but they knew I was a guy because I wasn't wearing a wig or makeup !

[Lily Catherine]

That was honestly overkill and uncalled for. No doubt you were likely playing along, but the subtexts you were giving off were likely highly sexualised and overt.

[Welshgirl]

Look, flirting is fun. I grew up as a girl who didn't have much self confidence, until I had a drink or four inside me and then I turned into one of the biggest flirts imaginable. Flirting is fun, exciting, validates your self-image when the attention is returned.

Mostly it was fine - everybody knew the rules of the game and stuck to them. Girls flirt, boys admire, boys flirt, girls admire, lots of teasing, heightened sexual tension, fun all round but nothing happens unless consensually.

However, there are some people who don't play by the rules and that is when the trouble starts. I have had a number of experiences where the guy didn't know when to stop, or wouldn't take no for an answer. Would you call it rape? That is a bit of a grey area, because right up to the point where it went too far it was definitely the case that both of us were happy with how it was going. But when the guy gets carried away and he is twice my size, there isn't much I can do to stop him.

That's what can happen if a girl flirts and the guy isn't playing the game that she thinks he is. Imagine the scenario where the guy thinks that you are a girl, he is getting turned on by what he thinks is going to happen, and then... he discovers that the person who has been flirting with him is a guy. He's been tricked. He is embarrassed. He is confused. He gets angry. This can be doubly bad if he has his mates there because they either share his sense of being tricked or they are laughing at him for being taken in - either way, it is not a good scenario.

Much as I hate to say it, given how much fun I have had flirting, PLEASE be careful with it. If it goes wrong it can have really bad consequences. Keeping it to gentle teasing is much safer. I appreciate that you took a whole bunch of precautions before you started, but what would you have done if a few of them had come up to the car and then they had seen that you were a guy and got angry? What if they were stood behind the car so you couldn't back out of the space?

I think this time count yourself lucky to have had such an entertaining time and got away with it, but in future (unless you are a complete adrenaline junkie, in which case ignore my entire post) keep half an eye open to the consequences?

[Katey888]

Allisa - what were you up to...??? :eek: Serious question...

If you know you shouldn't have done it, I guess that's a good thing - and I'm not going to moralise over what you did as plenty of others will (and have...)

I know I wouldn't have... even one guy in a truck... no thank you... :)

Katey x

[ophelia]

"through word or action disrespecting and objectifying women or others"

I had a dear friend/hairdresser admonish me on just this point. We were discussing the various tags associated with dressing as a woman. We both agreed that "trannies" dressing in skanky style was an insult to women from both crossdressers and genetic women. As if there is nothing more to womanhood than a skinny waist, hindenberg boobs and diving board eyelashes. She's a beautiful petite woman and she said that she herself never dressed or acted provocatively when she was out alone. "You really can get your pretty little ass kicked".


Let's hope those (edited) treat this incident as a one off and don't hurt the next crossdresser they play with.
You could have been writing this post from a hospital bed.
And how on earth do you think appearing more and more feminine leaves us unlikely to suffer from a sad world of misogyny?

[Jamie Christopher]

I fall into the "I would not have" group; you flirt and get a man's motor going, and he's excited and he advances, and finds out... what.... some situations can escalate into extreme violence...... Be very careful,

Jamie

[Beverley Sims]

I always endeavour to intergrate and present myself respectfully, any doubt and I am able to retreat gracefully.

If you are out with someone don't make glaring examples of your right to appear how you want.

To advance we must present ourselves gracefully or in the case of showmanship be honest with the onlookers and laugh along with them.

[Allisa]

O.K., one final time, read the thread all the words; I know the type of clientele, my truck(still dirty from weather), up close not so much, key in ignition, doors locked, I am not a stupid person even if you think I am. This was not a bar, pub or club whatever you call it so no alcohol involved, broad daylight, large parking lot out in the open not an enclosed garage ,faceing each other about 30 feet away so any movement towards me and off I go. There was an agenda at the time it's called" LUNCH". This was not about the womens movement or LBGT rights, no political agenda, just teasing. These men had to go back to work so no time to become confrontational with me or the police, that's what cell phones are for. I have more to say but we are not on the job site and not face to face. We all have our opinions and your right to express them in this forum whether I agree or NOT. There are a lot of things I've done in my life so far that "I shouldn't have done" that did more damage than this one event. Do I not cross the street because I may get run over? O.K. I feel somewhat better now, close this thread if you wish.

[pamela7]

i was just about to write in support of you, Allisa.

We've all done silly things, we take risks, we learn from them, take more risks or less, depending on our personalities.

The things I've done and got away with ...!!!

[deebra]

Alisa, glad you did it, turn their whistle around into a gurl in control tease; that's really cool. Now for the bomb shell on them; while they were eyeballing and lusting (these macho, bluecollar) if they only knew what they were lusting after had a little surprise inside her panties. If they knew, they would have died. You took control of the situation and won it hands down.

[Lorileah]

maybe semantics here but flirting, to me, implies an interest in someone. You had no interest in the men. Teasing, again to me, implies you are trying to get the attention of the men and not always in a good way. Teasing an animal often ends up badly for one or the other. Not saying these guys are animals but you are sending mixed signals. You are saying "hey look at me. I am sexually active and you can be part of it if you want." Read body language. In commercials, the sex sells. It isn't there for any reason but to get someone to react. Since that is in the media, the person doing the teasing is safe. Do NOT believe for a minute that you being in your truck is safe (and even less so if it is a work truck with some sort of identifier on it).

To me, and this is just my take from someone who has been there and done that, OK?, you are playing with fire. I have had to fend off men I didn't intentionally try and attract and in more than one case my personal space was violated. I am lucky nothing more than touching and some exposure happened.

But again, please realize that your actions do reflect on others who are unintentional targets. Now maybe they frustration or miscommunication will be redirected toward me in another situation. You know the old "Hey I know you want it, you're all alike" syndrome. I don't want it. No GG here wants it. It doesn't take much to cause a wake up here. I have had those wake ups. I thought I was 100% in control. I wasn't.

I know you were having fun being out and doing what you "thought" GGs do. They don't after the age of 13 trust me. They spend a lot of time looking over their shoulder.

We aren't trying to be mean. we are trying to make you see how things could have gone south in a hurry. By all means go out, have fun but don't make it any more dangerous to yourself or others. You don't hear of the number of assaults in parking lots because they are common and the police won't publish them until someone is hurt or killed. And do realize that you are representing many many other people.


Alisa, glad you did it, turn their whistle around into a gurl in control tease; that's really cool. Now for the bomb shell on them; while they were eyeballing and lusting (these macho, bluecollar) if they only knew what they were lusting after had a little surprise inside her panties. If they knew, they would have died. You took control of the situation and won it hands down.

OK had to reply to this.

You do REALIZE right that TGs have lost their lives doing exactly what you are proud of Alisa doing. You do realize that it is a common reaction of men to hurt or kill a TG because they were "misled", right? You do realize that homophobia and transphobia are very common, right? If they knew they would have died? No if they know YOU could have died.

You all are scaring me here. Do you understand that the member who was recently attacked had a lot of training in how to defend themselves and they STILL ended up on the short end.

[mykell]

ive yet to get out there but want too deep down, sufice it to say that if i came across these guys in a different venue and they remembered your little show, the wiggle in your walk, the way you ate your meal, the flip of your hair and the way you applied your lipstick, the ribbing they get at work for being the one who whistled at a dude, what if i got to be the one who met up with them at that venue and was on the wrong end of some ribbing and it didnt go well because i wasnt in a dirty truck with the key in the ignition and locked doors, didnt know the clientele had been teased and payed the price because i was nervous and jerky and they clocked me as an easy target and became one...

i did read read it, and offered my opinion, i think of you as a friend and would hate to see a bad result for you or anyone else here,
we are fresh off the reality of that happening to a good friend in broad daylight, you assumed they were not drinking but you couldnt be sure and they may be when i run into them.....just saying.....

[NicoleScott]

Shame on those who are laying a guilt trip on you, making you responsible for anything bad that happens to others. You did nothing wrong.

[DonnaT]

I agree with Nicole.

But it's a good thing your truck started when you finished flirting ;)

[donnalee]

Ther is an old saying: "Don't borrow trouble." If you live long enough, there will be plenty for you. The difficulty is that 1 dumb move too many and you may not live long enough to find out.
This is sent out of concern for your safety, not in an effort to try and control you. I believe we are granted some dumb moves in our lives and young people need to take risks in order to find themselves, but each has a certain number before accounts are called in and if you're going to go in harm's way, do it for something that counts more than ticking off a bunch of yehaws standing around a truck.

[Lorileah]

Nothing illegal may be more correct...wrong is a perspective. I wonder if you were the one on the receiving end of this act, would you just say "Hey that's cool. You got me on that one."? You know most men will just let it go and commiserate over a beer later. Still there are a good number who would take that very seriously. Being closeted, you may not have met those men (and maybe a few women). But I have. And I know two "girls" who were assaulted. One because she was walking in a dress that the guys (yes more than one) thought was a come on. Interesting that the out T's and the GG's think it was dangerous.

I love it when people don't believe the actions of others reflects on a group. The actions of the OP could very easily lead to another TG being hurt because "Hey you all want this I know. I have seen you guys doing...."

[NicoleScott]

This was nothing more than a fun flirting game played by both sides and, by the way, started by the guys' whistles.
The idea that the actions of the OP could very easily lead to another TG being hurt is absurd. This is worse than blame the victim. Instead of blaming the ones who commit assault or the victim of that assault (which is wrong), let's blame someone who flirted in the past. This is like saying a woman shouldn't wear a miniskirt because another woman could be raped.
Also, this may not be about a flirting TG. There is no evidence from the OP that the guys thought they were whistling at a guy. So if they were flirting with what they believed to be a GG, how does that affect other TG's?
The criticisms went too far. Let's just be responsible for our own safety and stop the what-ifs. Leave it at: have fun but be careful.

[mykell]

sorry had to reply....

ive yet to get out there but want too deep down, sufice it to say that if i came across these guys in a different venue and they remembered your little show, the wiggle in your walk, the way you ate your meal, the flip of your hair and the way you applied your lipstick, the ribbing they get at work for being the one who whistled at a dude, what if i got to be the one who met up with them at that venue and was on the wrong end of some ribbing and it didnt go well because i wasnt in a dirty truck with the key in the ignition and locked doors, didnt know the clientele had been teased and payed the price because i was nervous and jerky and they clocked me as an easy target and became one...

i did read read it, and offered my opinion, i think of you as a friend and would hate to see a bad result for you or anyone else here,
we are fresh off the reality of that happening to a good friend in broad daylight, you assumed they were not drinking but you couldnt be sure and they may be when i run into them.....just saying.....


so sorry this came off so harsh, was not trying to belittle the OP! i was caught in a wrong place at the wrong time group event when i was young, the results were not pretty and it wasnt even about dressing then, add that and who knows....so it was not meant as a personal attack on the poster just a "what if" scenario of things that do go wrong or the "butterfly effects" that can be seeded with simple events are misinterpreted.....

GGs wear skirts as a daily norm in life and yes its wrong if that leads to them being victimized .....add a man to the skirt, then some innocent blown kisses and batting eyelashes and some gender discovery and someone who doesnt think of it as innocent fun, teasing and flirting could become volatile, then its a hate crime.....which we are recently just coming off from here on our site recently, so its still fresh on many minds, the OP must of had some trepidation about this with a title of "i shouldnt of done this" and the preparedness for a bad outcome...."needless to say I was very leery about going in but " or "first time not total femme; somewhere in between"

all the reading here of blending, dont draw attention to yourself and it should be a good outing, threads of do i pass....i wont feel comfortable if i look like a guy in the wrong outfit.....does this outfit make me look like a man in a dress...

say we all start going out and have a little innocent fun for someone whistled at us in our gender bender fashion day......isn't that sending a wrong message.