I feel what I did was wrong.

[Rachel:3]

As a CD or someone who can't wait to fully dress I love being called a girl, since I haven't been able to fully dress I made an online persona of a girl I pretend to be. I looked up girls on google and picked the one I thought was the cutest. Months later I join this online game with a small but closely knit community. Ever since then I've become friends with the people there but there is one problem... They think I'm a girl. Now that I've become so close I feel ashamed for teasing them and pretending to be a girl online. I don't know what to do now as I fear getting shunned by the community which is already in shambles due to a high profile member leaving the game. Yes, I flirted and said cute things but I'm a heterosexual male and feel guiltily for lying and leading these people on. I don't know what to do.

[Zoe B]

You would be surprised how many people actually do that. Let things calm down a little and don't beat yourself up over it.

If you want to come clean just go ahead and be honest and open. I actually met my wife through a community where my avatar was female.

[MissTee]

I wouldn't sweat it. It's very common. Remember that when you are approached online. Likely what you see is not what you get.

[Sara Jessica]

If I read this correct, you co-opted a photo of a "cute girl" and represented you are her? I don't care how many people do this, I'll validate your thread title and agree you are wrong.

[Rachelakld]

Problem with lies, usually they "kick you in the A" eventually
So come clean, apologize, take an A kicking, learn from it and move on
It's called "being human"

[heatherdress]

If you are simply going to continue as an on-line game member, it really would not seem to matter if you are simply playing and communicating in a game forum. Who cares? But if you expect more, then you will have to admit to misrepresenting yourself and accept the consequences.

[Jason+]

Wrong is your call to make. My preference has been for people to know what they are getting, hence the WYSIWYG. I have learned to take the internet with a grain of salt. How to resolve it depends on how much of a relationship you really feel you have with the gaming group.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04JmsnwbyAo

[Alice_2014_B]

Whenever there is a chance to utilize a female avatar for a game I jump on the chance, its like an extension of my feminine side. Once I was playing an online Poker game and I chose the best looking, at least to me anyway, female avatar. Using the chat guys would start chatting with me wanting my email. I would just brush it off since I'm not into that. I also like to pick female avatars with offline games as well.

[Andy66]

Just my opinion, I would say stop using some other persons photo. What if she or one of her friends see it? Use a cartoon girl or something. I use a cat, but I think most people have figured out Im not really a cat. :heehee:

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Rachel,
If you feel what you did was wrong, you need to correct it.
If you don't it will just get worse from here.
Being as it's an online thing, I think you can find a way to come clean
and still remain friends with these people you are afraid of offending.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[WhitneyCD]

As someone frequently guilty of the same mistake, I try to be upfront and honest so whoever I may be talking to knows that the picture is only.a "representation" of who I am. I know from experience once it gets rolling ita tough to stop. I will often just go cold turkey, delete it all and just disappear until I feel like I have regained control.
I don't think it makes us as horrible of people as we feel, but we are def in the wrong.

[Lily Catherine]

As someone who has maintained a female character (in video games) whenever possible, I certainly find it wrong to simply nick a real person's photo and impersonate the subject. Not the least when the worst assumption is that you'll never cross paths with said person ever.

Which, in turn, is the reason why I use an illustration (ironically, one who could be seen as my female counterpart, of all people) as my avatar.

[Katey888]

I use a cat, but I think most people have figured out Im not really a cat. :heehee:

:OMG:

Another feline hero bites the dust... Come to think of it, I'd wondered how you kept your paws off the mouse when typing... :facepalm:

Rachel - you've sort of said it yourself and others have too... You've got an opportunity to correct it - if you think it's wrong, continuing it is never going to be righter. :)

Your call... your values...

Katey x

[Kate Simmons]

The problem with any lie is that it requires more to keep it going.Pretty soon, you've told so many, you forget what you said. Then you are in trouble.:)

[phylis anne]

everyone here has said some valid things , even though it is th internet integrity still applies be careful . As to Andy's avatar "Just my opinion, I would say stop using some other persons photo. What if she or one of her friends see it? Use a cartoon girl or something. I use a cat, but I think most people have figured out Im not really a cat" what a cat and cute too
hugs phylis anne

[CarlaWestin]

Well, you did say it was a game, right? I'll bet you're not the only gender impersonator online.

[Vale]

To me, having an alter ego on line is not very different than cross dressing. However, if the picture you used is a real person you might cause her real harm. Would you like your face associated with someone else's behavior? I don't think you intended harm, but technically this is identity theft.

Love,
Valerie

[Sarah-RT]

Apparently most female characters in games online are played by guys. I'm guessing your game was text chat and not voice chat. I wouldn't sweat it since as others have said, what you see online is not what you get,
I'd be very alarmed to discover all the lovely ladies here weren't just that 😁

If you have taken some girls picture of suggest you change it to a stock image, we wouldn't like it if our pictures were being taken and used for other means.
As for the "deception" what's the big deal? Your playing a persona online, when I play grand theft auto I'm not conning people into thinking im a car thief offline

[Andy66]

:OMG:

Another feline hero bites the dust... Come to think of it, I'd wondered how you kept your paws off the mouse when typing... :facepalm:


Im just a human who likes to get in touch with their feline side. Oh, that mouse isnt as tasty as it looks.

[Beverley Sims]

Just go with the flow, don't share details that could expose you.

People lie all the time on the internet.

Even me. :)

[Stephanie47]

I understand your angst. However, what are the chances of you ever meeting the other players? And, are you sure they are who they say they are? If you leave the interaction as it is: just playing the game, just have fun. Anytime there is total anonymity people can present themselves in any manner they choose.

[Victoria Demeanor]

Rachel,
I think everyone here has pretty much said it all, but I still wanted to chime in. So I will agree that on line a lot of people pretty much do this and the great thing about the web is you can be who ever you want to be. Anonymity can be a good or bad thing depending on how you use it. Being who you feel you are inside is great, but using someone's real picture, not so much. I'm willing to bet that not everyone in your gaming circle is not who they say they are. If you want an easy out change your avatar to a cartoon depiction and just tell them the picture really wasn't you. you may find your honesty may not surprise them that much.
As for me, YES my avatar really is me.....that's right I am the real BatGirl....!!! ;)
oh and I too am surprised and a little depressed Andy66 that you really are not a cat. :(
anyways there's my two cents

[Isabella Ross]

Using a female avatar and presenting yourself with a female persona is one thing. Using someone else's photo is just wrong. Period.

[Lorileah]

Kinda sorta kinda what I did. (with the caveat that I am TS and being "Lori" is who I really am). 7 years ago I was quite active in online poker, not for real money because I don't trust technology that much, but for online credits. I had won over 6 million "dollars" and was playing the high end tables. Being Lori had on several occasions caused other players to not take my skill set seriously. This went on for over a year. Then one day a player who I was friendly with and who taught me the ropes sent me a message "Do you have something you need to tell me?" I said No. He said "You are not who you say you are" I said what do you mean? He said he had "Googled" me and knew my secret. A year long bluff being called. I lost that edge.

[kimdl93]

It you feel bad about it, stop doing it. Next?

[DonnaT]

I'd suggest changing your avatar in the game, since images can be googled. Similar images can be found this way.

But unless you are planning on meeting anyone in the game, I wouldn't worry about the other lies. Many aren't who they say they are online.

Coming clean in the game could ruin the game for the others, much like when the one person left.

[Lexi_83]

Well, you did say it was a game, right? I'll bet you're not the only gender impersonator online.A person who worked for a then-popular Lesbian site told me that they thought 80-90% of their customers were genetic males. And those of us whose profile said TG were a small percentage - 10% or less.

[WhitneyCD]

Still saying its wrong, but I like the idea of having a visual of how you'd like to be seen. Not a good thing to do, but still a guilty pleasure

[Cindy J Angel]

Playing games is cool we all do it as a girl some times. But useing some ones else's pic. Well i dont know about that. I would change it over the next 2 or 3 weeks . Thats my two cents love cindy

[Ceera]

I have played female characters in games for a very long time. Probably longer than the OP has been alive. When I was fresh out of high school, I played female characters as often as males when playing 'Dungeons and Dragons' or other table top roleplaying games. The other people at the table with me never thought anything weird about it, and I played girls quite well. When I first got Internet access, and even before there was such a thing as websites, I roleplayed a female character in several text-based Usenet forums. But it was also obvious my character wasn't 'real' - she was an anthropomorphic Siamese cat, who could do magic! Still, a few players got romantically attached to her, and I had to gently tell them that the character I was playing wasn't a representation of 'the real me', and that I never would be dating or interacting in real life with any of them. Later, I continued roleplaying several females as well as males in web-based roleplaying forums. My persona as "Ceera" started that way in late 2002, and for seven years pretty much everyone on those forums believed Ceera was being played by a real girl. But I also made it clear if anyone started flirting with Ceera that anything that 'happened' had to be accepted strictly as fictional fun between our fictional characters, and that between the real me and their real selves, I only was offering a platonic friendship. Later, Ceera moved to a 3D virtual world - Second Life - and until a few years back she was pretty active there. I could make myself look as feminine and pretty and young as I wanted to! But my on-line avatar was just a game-generated 3D cartoon character. I kept the same rule about 'relationships'. If they wanted their fictional character to 'get involved' with mine, that was fine, if I also wanted that. But they had to agree it was only fictional fun. At no time did I try to lead anyone on and make them believe I was a girl they could meet in real life and maybe go on a date with in real life. And I never showed anyone a photo and claimed it was ''the real me'. I did eventually tell a few close friends there that I was really not born a girl, but they didn't really care. A lot of the 'girls' there were really guys.

I'd say the main thing the OP did wrong was co-opting a real girl's photo and claiming that was her. If I was the OP, the first thing I would do is to replace that photo with a cartoon picture of a girl, and let her friends know that the photo she had been using wasn't really her. There are several on-line sites where you can create an avatar picture by choosing options, and it will result in a cute cartoon face to represent your character. You don't particularly have to admit you weren't born a girl. But do admit you initially chose to use a picture of someone else from the Internet, and that you've realized that was a wrong thing to do. Most folks will forgive you, if you come clean on that.

As for anything else, in the flirting, did you ever imply that you might want to take anything across the edge into real life? If you didn't, then I say continuing to play as a girl is fine. Like I said, lots of the 'girls' in games, roleplaying venues and virtual on-line worlds are really guys. Probably most of them! But if you did imply that maybe you would meet one of your on-line friends in real life at some point, I'd gently try to tell those enamored friends that you don't look like that photo, and that it wouldn't be a good idea to get together in real life unless you both spend some time honestly talking to each other and can accept who you really are. Quite honestly, more often than not trying to meet someone you met on-line is a disappointing and sometimes dangerous thing to do. If you're just there for the game, keep the fun on-line, and maintain a clear separation between the game and your reality. It's a lot safer.

[Nadya]

I tend to agree that making an avatar based off a real person may not have been the right thing to do. That's really the only thing I see wrong here. I pick female game characters in games too (I agree with Alice, "its like an extension of my feminine side.") especially fantasy games. If you decide to come clean, I hope it goes well for you!

[sometimes_miss]

Alright, you did something wrong. Fix it. Open her pic in a photo editor and change it just enough so that it's no longer her. If there's background in it, change that too. Done.

[Jodi]

Just go with the flow, don't share details that could expose you.

People lie all the time on the internet.

Even me. :)


Lie all of the time? Speak for yourself. Just because many do it doesn't make it right.

Jodi

[Marcelle]

. . . I use a cat, but I think most people have figured out Im not really a cat. :heehee:

WHAAAT!!! Andy you mean to say you are not a cat :eek:


. . . People lie all the time on the internet.

WHAATT AGAIN!!!!! You mean people misrepresent themselves on the internet . . . my faith in humanity is dwindling with this post :D


Wrong is your call to make. My preference has been for people to know what they are getting, hence the WYSIWYG. I have learned to take the internet with a grain of salt. How to resolve it depends on how much of a relationship you really feel you have with the gaming group . . .

WHAATT YET AGAIN !!!! I can't believe this to be true. That's it, I am cancelling my internet and going back to carrier pigeons and calligraphy :heehee: . . . LOL Jason . . . love this video BTW

Seriously though Rachel,

If you truly feel this is wrong then correct it on your own terms . . . come clean with all and say "Hey I am a dude not a girl" and post an new picture. However, if you still want to maintain your online "femme" persona, just change your avatar to anything as people have come think of you as a girl (or perhaps they have not . . . who really knows). Now before anyone goes ballistic and says "Hey that is still misrepresenting himself Isha" . . . "Hmm a guy pretending to be a girl . . . seems kind of strange doesn't it . . . let me think . . . NOT!" :battingeyelashes: At the very least though, I agree with the others, you should take down the picture you coopted as it does belong to someone else (it is the polite thing to do). :)

Hugs

Isha

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Rachel, I just wonder haw many of the (GIRLS) that you are talking with are actually girls.:daydreaming:

[Barbara Black]

I'm on the side of admitting it to those involved, but not beating yourself up for it. I joined a game using a female AV, just to hide my identity, not to establish a new one. Afterwards, I was stuck with it. But I realized also that i enjoyed it, almost like dressing up in RL, and now use it as my outlet for frustration as well, enjoying being able to express my feminine side, which is much larger than I ever realized until donning this female characterization. So i ask myself, was I really impersonating a female in the first place? Or just letting that side of me get exposed finally?

Oh, the picture thing. Very wrong, I would change that immediately also, as suggested by others.

[Jason+]

WHAAAT!!! Andy you mean to say you are not a cat :eek:


. . . LOL Jason . . . love this video BTW



Andy is one of the coolest cats I know!

If you are a gamer at all or come from a military background or perhaps both it's that much funnier. :D