for the first time in 50 year... caught

[wearingtanpantyhose]

We're having remodeling work done at our home. The construction workers are using a separate entrance but I didn't expect them here today so I decided to do a little wall sanding. I was wearing hose and a terry sport's skirt. I didn't hear them come in because I was using an electric sander. Anyway, two good-old-boy construction workers saw me in all my glory. I'm still shaking. I live in a small community and this isn't good. This will spread all over town faster than you can imagine. There is nothing I can do, but I'm so scared. Why must we live in fear? We shouldn't, but it is the reality for some of us. My wife knows I dress privately sometimes, but I don't think she'll take this well if and when it gets back to her. I feel so helpless... they are just clothes but obviously it's so much more.

[Nadine Spirit]

Stories like this are why I chose to inform the people that I have. There are only a few more left that I am considering letting in.

Sorry to hear of your difficulties. BTW, I too live in quite a small town, pop 1000. But where I am most of us live here because we aren't really interested in the business of others.

[Annaliese]

Hold your head up, weather the storm. Is all you can do now.

[Jaylyn]

That is tough and I feel for you. Hope the construction workers weren't local because that might help the word spread so fast. Maybe as long as you are paying for the job they will keep their mouth shut. You might even tell them they are paid to work not observe. I also live in an area where the slightest bit of any thing like this would be looked on with a frown, and the whole community would know at the first coffee break. My wife also would throw a fit if anyone else knew from around our town. Hope the guys will keep quite and things will go ok. If not maybe you can finish the remodel n then just live with the rumors. Don't give up on the wife though if she knows you dress sometimes privately she might be understanding. You actually might tell her and be together on this, but I don't know her so do what you feel is best. I would go n change n put my work clothes on n then get in there with the crew and out work them. They might think you are strange but have some respect for you.

[Beverley Sims]

Unfortunate after such a long time, maybe there will be some loyalty from them.

[Suzie Petersen]

That's a tough one, but .. it's what you risk when you take a chance.

Were any words exchanged? How did the rest of the scene play out?

No doubt they will have a good laugh about it, but then again, if the statistics are true, there is a decent chance that one of them secretly dresses too! You might soon have a CD friend to go shop with!

The damage is done, and you cant put the toothpaste back in the tube, so now it is 100% a matter of damage control.
Some thoughts on that:

- If at all doable, you should talk to your wife and prepare her for what might come. Dont let her hear it from others first. If she is prepared, and can react with a casual "so what", the fuss will die down a lot quicker.
- Own it! If it comes back to you, just take it with a smile and say Yes, I like dressing like a woman! Dont you?
- People laughing at you will not break any bones! But if you can turn it into people laughing With you instead, you win! Take it with a smile and make fun of yourself if that helps. "If I had known they were coming, I would have had my hair done!"
- I think the biggest reason some of us are considered weird, is that we often behave and react weird when dressed! We hide in the shadows, sneak around, look nervous and suspicious when shopping etc etc. If you want others to consider this a perfectly normal and acceptable thing, you have to first act like you believe all that yourself! So, dont be weird about it if someone confronts you!

Hugs
Suzie

[CONSUELO]

Be tough. Be proud. Do not apologise for what you are. You don't have to defend yourself against anyone, just brazen it out.

[Kate Simmons]

It's all over but the shoutin'. If you survive that part you will be okay. ;):)

[Stephanie47]

The damage may be done, so I can only offer sympathy. I approach cross dressing with the concept of "risk vs reward." If I know there is a possibility my privacy will be violated I do not engage. Being "outed" can have unexpected consequences for oneself and family. I believe I once had my privacy violated by snoopy neighbors, who probably told other neighbors. The snoopy neighbors are long gone. They were freeloaders on the public dole. None of my long term neighbors have ever made a comment and none have ever change how they interact with me or my wife. All I can say is be prepared and weather the storm. In situations such as these, one learns who your friends are. The wife? Well, you better not make slipping up a habit.

[arbon]

I understand the how you feel and the fear. Before transition I did out myself by accident and felt so horrible about it. But guess what - it will pass, its not a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

[docrobbysherry]

Do what Lance Armstrong did. Deny, deny, deny! "I don't know what they think they saw, but thats ridiculous! Ha ha ha!"

Unless you're caught again? Everyone excpet your SO will forget about it!

[Isabella Ross]

Yes...look at how that worked out for Lance. Like Consuelo, I say own it.

[trishacd]

I would just wait and see. Mabey they dress and would keep quiet. I wouldnt say a word

[deebra]

You're just ahead of the times, they and society are the one's lagging behind.

[bimini1]

It's only a matter of time until we all get caught. Sooner or later chances are it's going to happen. It's all fun and games then you get caught and the reality of it all hits you. Just how far on the fringes of society you really are. They are gonna talk. That's what people do. In a small town at that. I'm of the belief whatever happens to us is predestined for some reason. I've been through it years ago. Hold your head up over time most will leave it alone. Only you can figure out what to do next.

[reb.femme]

Time for the old french phrase again, 'fait accompli'. As Sherry said, you can do a Lance Armstrong or you could claim the Fifth (if my memory serves me well?). Jaylyn mentioned telling your wife. A good opening gambit, me thinks.

Personally, it's wait and see time now. if it does get around, highly unlikely anyone is going to be knocking on your door to discuss, unless they are interested where you get your clothes from? Seriously, hold your head up and weather the storm if problems arise, otherwise, keep calm and carry on, as the old war-time posters would say.
Hope it goes well for you.

Rebecca

[RADER]

Very simple way to fix this embarrassing problem;
You tell them that if you find one word was said about seeing you
dressed the way you where; Fat chance of ever seeing any money
for the work they have done.
A Smack in the wallet will close all moths and shut all eyes forever.
Rader

[DonnaT]

I'd suggest informing your wife before word gets around.

As to the skirt, just tell whomever that it was a work kilt you like wearing, as it gives you more freedom to move around.

[kimdl93]

Well, no use worrying about it. Just sit back, relax and see what happens. FYI I am from a very rural community and my first wife deliberately outed me to family, friends, and work associates. The result....nothing I noticed. What was said behind my back isn't my concern.

[Deane]

There's a decent chance they only saw the skirt and not the hose, in which case just say "yeah, it's comfortable. So what?" I would definitely tell your wife regardless. My son saw me in a dress in the middle of the night once. I told my wife as soon as she got up (I was only doing it to make her laugh when she got up, I didn't have anything of my own then and she didn't know I liked to dress). Never heard anything, I think he figured it was a dream.

If they did see the hose as well, it's warm and comfy. Old hunter's trick: wearing nylons under your clothes for warmth.

[Mark/Rebecca]

We can all relate to this and we are all here for you. Regardless of what happens, dont ever feel that you are alone.

[marilyn m]

How embarrising, i really feel for you, we accept each other for what we are
why cant others really accept us for who we are, and how we choose to express ourselves,
it can be quite a buzz hiding away and covering up where we have been, but can be quite tiring.
hope youre wife isnt too hard on you :dom:

[alwayshave]

It's almost St. Patties Day and you took out your kilt to try it on. Really though, three little words. Non-Disclosure Agreement (NDA), they will need to sign one before payment and a 50K penalty for violating the NDA. Don't threaten them with non payment, just require the NDA before payment.

[STACY B]

Hell I wouldn't Sweat it too much ! With the Attention Span of people now days they already forgot about the old man in the dress ,,lol,,, You mind will build up a lot of fear for nothing . Just chill it will pass ,, I wish that was the worse thing I ever done !!

[Alice Torn]

Get readay for battle stations. Torches and pitchforks and a crowd coming! NAW! Don't worry much. When someone took my flash drive, at the library a block away, with thousands of pics of Alice, and my guy self, I though the worst, but, nothing happened. Just act like nothing happened, be cool.

[Khora]

I think the more important question here is who power sands in pantyhose and a skirt?! You might be a crossdresser if... :D

In all seriousness though, I hope everything winds up working out for you.

[Jenniferathome]

Your situation is far more simple than you imagine. You have no choice but to own it now. You are free.

[Deane]

I think the more important question here is who power sands in pantyhose and a skirt?! You might be a crossdresser if... :D

In all seriousness though, I hope everything winds up working out for you.

Tonight I cut, routered, sanded, glued, tablesawed, and stained. All while wearing a skirt, cami, and bra. :)

[Lauri K]

I think the more important question here is who power sands in pantyhose and a skirt?! You might be a crossdresser if... :D


I would not worry too much about it, times have changed a lot over the years and after all you are a paying customer.

Not sure what my neighbors think when they see me outside grilling in jean skirts and pantyhose....but so far no one has said anything.

Keep moving on and don't worry time takes care of things

[Nancy Sue]

I think what several have said is good advice - to tell your wife what happened. She already knows you dress, and probably expected this to happen at some point.

Another possible response if someone brings it up to you, or to her, is - "Are you saying that you and your wife/husband/spouse have never tried on each other's clothes?"

[DanaR]

Sorry to hear that you had that experience. I don't do anything when I'm dressed that requires me to work, except maybe doing the dishes.:D

[Vickie_CDTV]

Did the construction workers actually say anything? Or did they just walk by?

[Heather_Shirly]

It will pass and people will forget about it. I would just hold your head up high and remember all the things you get to experience that they will never...

And who knows? One of them could be one of us as well...

Hey, maybe now you can go out dressed and no one will care! Silver lining right!

[JeanetteX]

That's my worst nightmare too. I also live in a small town with small minded people so know how fast this sort of news can spread and what an impact it could have.

I wish you all the best....keep your head up. One day they will realise we're normal people too!

[wearingtanpantyhose]

Thank you for making me laugh! I needed that! Truth is, I usually dress every day, but for the last four weeks my house has been full of construction workers so no dressing. Nobody was supposed to be there yesterday.

I'm actually feeling a little better today. Later in the day yesterday, I explained that I got hot while I was working and took off my jeans. The tights I was wearing were thick opaque ones and could have passed for long-johns... well, that's what I told one of the workers when saying how embarrassed I was for being caught in my long-johns. He didn't challenge me or even give me a raised eyebrow. And as for the skirt, I'm not positive he knew for sure it was a skirt as he didn't get a full view of me. It was a light grey terry skirt that looks like a lot of sweat shorts. I wasn't wearing women's shoes... just some men's white low-rise socks over my tights. Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. Glad I wasn't wearing sheer pantyhose or lacy tights and a bra! I may be dreaming this rationalization up just to feel better... but it's working...for now!

Thank you, everyone, for your words of support. Much appreciated!

Mary

[RachelCross]

My 2 cents- I wouldn't engage them with threats or anything. Leave it be. By engaging them, that will give them cause to tell others. I had a friend tell me about going on a service call and the man of the house answered the door fully dressed as a woman. My friend said he felt uncomfortable at first but then just went on with his work and was only telling me because I asked him if anyone ever shocked him when he did a service call. He said it shocked him, and then we went on and talked about other things. I would tell your wife, give her a plan for how it won't happen again in the future and move on. Things are different in a small town, but in this day and age, people tend to shrug things off. They may not want to associate with you anymore, but I doubt anyone would point at you in public and ridicule you. All the best to you though! :bighug: It is easy for all of us to give advice from the safety of our computers. A side note, the only work Rachel does is office work, filing, paying bills etc. The manual labor stuff I'll leave for my drab self. :D

[Alice Torn]

I guess the townspeople will have to save their torches and pitchforks for some other occasion! LOL

[krissysSecret]

That's a tough one, but .. it's what you risk when you take a chance.

Were any words exchanged? How did the rest of the scene play out?

No doubt they will have a good laugh about it, but then again, if the statistics are true, there is a decent chance that one of them secretly dresses too! You might soon have a CD friend to go shop with!

The damage is done, and you cant put the toothpaste back in the tube, so now it is 100% a matter of damage control.
Some thoughts on that:

- If at all doable, you should talk to your wife and prepare her for what might come. Dont let her hear it from others first. If she is prepared, and can react with a casual "so what", the fuss will die down a lot quicker.
- Own it! If it comes back to you, just take it with a smile and say Yes, I like dressing like a woman! Dont you?
- People laughing at you will not break any bones! But if you can turn it into people laughing With you instead, you win! Take it with a smile and make fun of yourself if that helps. "If I had known they were coming, I would have had my hair done!"
- I think the biggest reason some of us are considered weird, is that we often behave and react weird when dressed! We hide in the shadows, sneak around, look nervous and suspicious when shopping etc etc. If you want others to consider this a perfectly normal and acceptable thing, you have to first act like you believe all that yourself! So, dont be weird about it if someone confronts you!

Hugs
Suzie

Susie.....this is without a doubt...some of the best advice ever spoken here. Hope everyone with these concerns takes your words to heart because so many times in these instances...that's all you can do. Being overly defensive and denying that you were seen only brings on more discussion of it which no one really needs at that point, but to own up to it and laugh it off takes away people's power to insult and degrade you. If you don't engage in a negative conversation about it with an accuser, they tend to lose interest..has been my experience.

[Paula_56]

Don't worry, it happened to me. I was fully dressed ran into a contractor who wasn't suppose to be there that day he came by to get tools out of the garage.

He was in my Mens bible study nothing was ever said again, no whispers or changes at church.

Think about are they going to go around saying this to everyone, it's not something people repeat or talk really

The fact no one really cares that much.

Here is a picture from that day

http://imgur.com/ZLdzQu3

[Nicole Erin]

I do this tranny'ing thing full time so I have a different take but I wouldn't be caught dead NOT wearing pantyhose.

Anyways, yeah just say you were doing it for medical reasons.

So are your legs pretty sexy in sheer pantyhose?

[lingerieLiz]

It may not go far. I've lived in several areas and people have found out yet not carried it forward. I see people who have known and am still friends. They have never said anything to me about it or to others I know.

[Eryn]

...This will spread all over town faster than you can imagine....

Honestly, who will take such rumors seriously?

Don't imagine trouble for yourself unless it happens.