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View Full Version : So I went to work as Violet yesterday... (kinda long-ish)



Violetgray
02-28-2015, 04:43 PM
I have two supervisors. We'll call them E and B. E is o.k. with me coming to work as Violet, B is not. We have an anti-discrimination policy that says anyone can wear what they want as long as it is professional. But there's also a clause that says it is up to the supervisor's discretion. It's mainly to prevent people from wearing things that it is common sense not to wear, booty shorts, flip-flops, plunging necklines, marijuana leaf imagery, etc. The clause basically says "and if there's anything else we didn't think of, like you coming to work in a thong and rollerskates wearing a Darth Vader mask, we can ban that too."

B milks this clause for all it's worth, and is constantly checking for the length of my co-worker's skirt, and even when she is wearing something in compliance with regulation she may still get in trouble if it's not long enough for that supervisor's standards. She has made it clear that she does not want me to come to work as Violet. My other supervisor, is sort of gothic in appearance and she has no issue with it. We've been out together several times with me as Violet.

All this week B has been on vacation. This Friday, both E and B were on vacation. On Thursday I showed E a picture of a ridiculous dress and said, "Can I come tomorrow wearing that?" She laughed and said "Well I'm not going to be here tomorrow, so I don't really care."

Thursday night I sent her a message: "Hey E, do you really not care how I come to work tomorrow?"

She replies: "I won't be there, so..."

I say, " It's just that I'm really tempted (have been all week) but I want to be sure I wouldn't be getting you in trouble."

She says "As long as whatever you are wearing meets the dress code (check the policy - no tank tops, flip flops, too form fitting what ever that means) it shouldn't be a problem."


So I'm like wow. Is this really going to happen? I sent a Facebook message to my co-worker, J : "Sooo there's a chance I might be coming to work as Violet tomorrow."

Her response: "I support that."

She has been supportive of me coming to work as Violet for quite some time. She was there when I won the Baltimore Queen of Crabs pageant, and has been very pro-Violet.

So anyway, I agonize over whether to do this. Will I? I lay out an outfit just in case. In the back of my mind I'm fully expecting to not go through with it. I'm so nervous that I don't eat as much as I should that night. I don't sleep. (part of that was because the neighbor's dog whined for 8 hours straight) and I forget breakfast the following morning. I jump in the shower. My hands start moving automatically, I grab the razor and start shaving.

I get out and dry off and go into my room it was like I was watching someone else take control of my body. I've been wearing leggings under my pants all winter because it's so cold here. I pull on some leggings. I pull them back down to the knee, then slide my hip pads in and pull them up again. I go back into the bathroom shirtless and open my makeup box and put on primer and foundation. It this point I'm still in denial, telling myself that if I want to I could just go to work with foundation on. Not going to bore you with every little step, but next thing you know my makeup is done, eyeliner mascara, all that.

I look at the clock and see the point of no return. I can either disassemble myself and be really really late for work or just carry it through and be on time. I put on my bra, forms, blouse, skirt and wig.

I step out of the bathroom my house mate says "Do you have a thing today or are you going to work as Violet?" I say I'm going to work she gives a surprised expression. "What about that one supervisor?" I tell her that B is not going to be there today. She tells me to have fun.

I step out and drive to the light rail (here in Baltimore it's like a subway train that never goes under ground) I get on, no incident. Mostly people ignoring the crap out of me, and I couldn't be happier about that. I get to my stop and I walk into the library (where I work) when it occurs to me that I don't have my badge and that security might not recognize me. Fortunately the one security guard is watching the monitor and I just slide on by. I think I'm home free when I hear a voice behind me,

"Do you work here?"

A different security guard saw me as he turned into the hallway. I say in the best voice I can, "Yeah, Interlibrary Loan." He says "Oh, o.k." and continues to stride away. I don't know whether he knew it was me or not, but I make my way to my work area. I'm a little late so I get a text from J,

"Where are you, and what are you wearing?"

I'm already in the building at this point, so no use texting back now. I see her coming up the stacks hallway as I come in and she gives me this wide grin and a thumbs up. I walk into the room and sit down at my desk. A woman who works in a different department but the same room is the first to walk in, stops, sees me and snaps her finger

"Work it, hunny!" She says, "It's about time! I told you to come dressed as Violet for a while now!" Which is sort of true. What she actually said was, "Wouldn't you feel better if you came to work dressed as Violet?" She asked me how I felt, and I said I feel great. Two of her employees came in, and told me that I looked good. Another co worker, N, comes in, sees me and he says "That deserves TWO snaps! You look like a completely different person!"

It's great, so far people had been really supportive. For a little while after that it was like business as usual. Occasionally J would look over at me and smile. On the way out N says to me, "Don't forget to call security if you need to!" Once I'm in that area of the library someone who works there introduces herself to me, and I say "It's Violet." She's already Facebook friends with me so we talk a bit and she asks if I'm transitioning. I tell her I'm just feeling things out.

Then It was time to do the part of my job that entails going out to different departments of the library and hunting books to mail out to borrowing libraries and colleges. That is not as comfortable to do as Violet. For one thing it's a task where I must be in the general area with the different patrons of the library. Most mind their own business but some can be unpredictable (which we'll see later). I had on leggings and hose to keep the hip pads in place, and a wig. It was HOT. Especially considering how they seemed to have turned the thermostat ALL the way up to compensate for the winter cold. W, someone else who works in the Library who is openly gay comes to see me, turns out he was looking for me and gave me a big hug!



Finally I get done and but it took so long (the work load was much heavier than usual) that it's already time for me to go to lunch.
I go to 7-11 and get a Perrier and a protein shake (so I can drink through a straw and not mess up my lips that much) and head back.


I'm at my desk for a while when a male custodian comes in as usual to flirt with two of the girls in the department. He sees me, does a double-take, scowls and then ignores me for the rest of his time in the room. Perfectly fine with that. Next, one of the people from the shipping department comes in. And says simply,

"Are you ok?" I nod. She says "Good. The ENTIRE library is talking about you, so I'm guessing you have been getting a lot of visitors. You just let me know if ANYONE ::expletive::'s with you. You got that?" I got that. She walked away, and now I'm trying not to get teary-eyed at work. Great. First day of work as a woman, and trying not to cry lol.

So I was apparently the talk of the library until... a co-worker came through, stunned. She said, " I've been here for 15 years. In 15 years I've seen some pretty strange things. But never in my life have I walked through the library and seen someone completely naked."

Apparently some woman used the restroom, stripped, and just walked out into the general area completely nude. She said she called security, and the were handling the situation when she came down here. And this is how jaded you get, working in the library with all the strange people. I texted my supervisor who you'll remember was off that day, with "Someone just walked through the library completely naked." Her honest-to-goodness response? " I guess the weather is warmer than projected."

And that was pretty much the end of my day. J offered to give me a ride home, and we talked about my first time at work as Violet and how nervious I was and how nervous she was for me. Supervisor B is sure to hear about it on Monday, so there's that to deal with. But I think that if there's one thing today has taught me, it's that more people I think have my back in this situation than don't.

Thanks for listening! ^_^ Sorry it was so long! I'll have pics in the Gallery section soon!

GenieGirl
02-28-2015, 04:52 PM
Congrats on your first day! Never knew the library could be so interesting! Makes me want to go check out a book heh ^_^

pamela7
02-28-2015, 04:55 PM
that is fantastic. thankyou for sharing, its so encouraging.

xxx Pamela

Michelle (Oz)
02-28-2015, 05:08 PM
Awesome day Violet and great responses from your work colleagues.

S. Lisa Smith
02-28-2015, 05:12 PM
Wow, what a great day!! Too bad you missed the naked lady. I think the talk next week will be about the naked lady and then, "oh yeah, X came in as Violet."

AngelaYVR
02-28-2015, 05:28 PM
I'm waiting for part 2 when B learns what you were wearing, rattles off some words starting with F and S, swears a Vendetta for V, but the rest of the alphabet shows up at the last second to save the day.

It must have been sooo much fun!

Marcelle
02-28-2015, 05:30 PM
Hi Violet,

Good for you and I am glad you had a great day . . . will there be other Violet days at work now?

Hugs

Isha

PretzelGirl
02-28-2015, 05:31 PM
That's awesome Violet! The world just treats us as we should be treated sometimes. Now for a cooler outfit for next time.....

Katey888
02-28-2015, 06:58 PM
Great story Violet... Loved it and I'm pleased for you... :D

Just make sure the gallery pics don't feature the library streaker... at least, not unless you have their permission to post... ;)

Katey x

flatlander_48
02-28-2015, 07:03 PM
It is always much easier to ask for forgiveness than permission...

Suzie Petersen
02-28-2015, 07:16 PM
That is wonderful Violet! Thank you for sharing with us.

Clearly your coworkers are good people!

Hugs
Suzie

Bria
02-28-2015, 07:20 PM
Great story, thanks for sharing!

Hugs, Bria

mechamoose
02-28-2015, 08:06 PM
That was *incredibly*brave*.

Your 'accepting' boss wasn't giving you his full support, though.. he was kind of saying "If I'm not there, it isn't my business." Good for not being judgmental, but he/she loses points for not backing you up.

I'm glad it worked out for you, and that your co-workers backed you up.

Did I mention how brave that was?

<3

- MM

junetv
02-28-2015, 08:09 PM
I enjoyed every word of your story :) Looking forward to see how you looked :)

Jamie Lynn
02-28-2015, 08:48 PM
AWESOME day, Violet!!!!!

Jean 103
02-28-2015, 09:25 PM
Thank you for sharing your day, it brought tears to my eyes. It is really nice that so many people at work care about and support you.

MayaMe
02-28-2015, 10:02 PM
Violet sounds like you had an awesome day and one you will always remember.

Pat
02-28-2015, 10:06 PM
So very cool! Congratulations!

justmetoo
02-28-2015, 10:13 PM
Wow! Sounds like an awesome day, with lots of supportive people. I don't even have the courage to dress for Halloween at work. Too much of an introvert. So kudos to you, Violet! :)

alyssamc
02-28-2015, 10:28 PM
I am sure on or two of your co workers might have been a touch jealous ��

Nadya
02-28-2015, 10:48 PM
Yay! So happy for you. It sounds like it felt great to show up to work how you really wanted to be. Thank you for sharing.

Suzanne F
02-28-2015, 11:18 PM
Violet
What a giant step! We should be able to be ourselves wherever we are!
Suzanne

Julie Denier
02-28-2015, 11:33 PM
Great story - what a day! ;)

Tracii G
03-01-2015, 12:15 AM
Violet you are an amazing woman LOL.

mechamoose
03-01-2015, 12:27 AM
So, I gotta ask...

Fallout? What did excersise in bravery *cost* you, honey?

I respect the hell out of you for standing up how you did. You get a free coffee and a big, wet smooch from me.
beyond that? (holy $h!t) did I mention you were stupid brave?


We *all* need to be that stupid^h^h^h^h^h^H.. strong.

...

I don't pass, I *can't* pass. I don't even try. Truth be told, I kind of enjoy challenging assumptions.

You who DO go that route? &@$%#^@ >jealous<

You have all my respect, as well as my Mom's, my brother's and my kid's respect.

You *GO* girl!

bridget thronton
03-01-2015, 01:53 AM
Thanks for sharing violet

SharonDenise
03-01-2015, 02:07 AM
Loved your post! Thanks for sharing your awesome day at work. Glad your fellow co-workers gave you their support. Can't wait for the sequel!

Andy66
03-01-2015, 05:10 AM
Awesome, Violet! I think its kind of hilarious how the naked lady shows up on your big day to steal the show.

Jane P
03-01-2015, 07:06 AM
Another situations here I wish there was a " like " function here because the I would not have to proclaim how happy This made me feel. Hope all goes well with madam x or e or B as some May call her.

sonja hems
03-01-2015, 07:22 AM
Wow amazing story. I'm glad you had a great day.

Sophie Yang
03-01-2015, 07:47 AM
Violet,

Congratulations. Great story.

As for B, after a week on vacation, B will have plenty to catch up on. If B did not see what you wore, I doubt B can "discipline" anything unless someone complains. But it sounds like your co-workers were very supportive. Even if someone did complain, it sounds like you were well within your rights. I assume that your library is publicly funded. So not only do you have the library dress code policy, the city and state laws are most likely on your side also.

Hopefully Violet goes to work on a regular basis in the near future.

kimdl93
03-01-2015, 09:28 AM
Wow, that was quite a set of new experiences....and to think your first day will be remembered as the day the lady walked out of the restroom naked!

Rogina B
03-01-2015, 09:45 AM
Glad you could be yourself at work! Next time the witch is gone,you won't hesitate a minute !

katie elouise
03-01-2015, 11:38 AM
WOW Violet great post ,it sound's as if you had a great day ,I can't wait for part 2 , Katie x .

NicoleScott
03-01-2015, 12:00 PM
Two things jump out for me. 1 - it seems risky to do something when the boss is out that you wouldn't do when the boss is in. 2 - two supervisors that don't apply company policy consistently. In the many jobs I have had, multiple bosses have always been one at a time through a chain of command. It's hard to serve two masters.

Isabella Ross
03-01-2015, 12:05 PM
Violet, what a wonderful and heart-warming story. The gears of change are grinding slowly forward, albeit gradually...

~Joanne~
03-01-2015, 01:28 PM
Nothing ventured, nothing gained. You gained the experience and that's priceless. I am glad you have a very positive day for the most part. You always look great and very passable when you are dressed so i am sure most of them didn't have anything really bad to say other than where some guy usually sits, sat a very cute chick ;) Make sure you let us know what happens tomorrow. There isn't a thing she can do about it at this point and it wasn't like you came to work naked ;)

Beverley Sims
03-01-2015, 01:59 PM
Violet,
Working in a library environment you get some strange people.
I am talking about the strait laced ones that can't see reality.
Glad your day was good and the naked chick took all the heat away from you.

What happens when "B" comes in and meets you? :)
Love your work.

Sarah Doepner
03-01-2015, 02:00 PM
I'll join in the throng supporting your decision, admiring your patience, being amazed at your bravery and hoping for the best possible outcome.

SherriePall
03-01-2015, 06:10 PM
Violet -- Wow! Good for you. Sounds like you have material for your next standup routine. "So here I am, all dolled up for the day and all anyone remembers about that day is that someone walked around the building naked."

27th Jennifer
03-01-2015, 07:14 PM
Congratulations, Violet!

Ana

KC Samanatha
03-01-2015, 08:21 PM
Thanks for sharing such a fun and wonderful story. Really was awesome to hear. Tho the part about the naked person in the main library had me in stitches.

nancy58
03-01-2015, 10:59 PM
What a delightful post! It's good that the naked patron showed up. You don't want to be the talk of the office, you just want to be yourself. I'd say definitely toe the line on the dress code for women, and I second the advice about not behaving differently when the bosses are away than when they're there. You want to be seen as reliable and getting the work done, and anything that could come across as misbehavior when the boss is out undermines that.

Good luck!

Ms.Kenadie
03-02-2015, 01:48 AM
Congratulations Violet!

I am so happy that your adventure went so well. Your courage and strength inspire us all who are afraid to show who we truly are.

Kenadie

Persephone
03-02-2015, 03:02 AM
:cheer: :cheer: :cheer:

:ch:

Drat! Just this past week I threw out an ancient newspaper clipping about a (male) LC staffer who routinely wore a skirt to work.

Hugs,
Persephone.

Adriana
03-02-2015, 10:10 AM
Thanks for sharing this amazing story! Its great to hear a positive story in such a world as ours.

Debra Russell
03-02-2015, 12:46 PM
Not too long and well done..a good read .....and good for you Violet, hope you get to work more as Violet :hugs:..............Debra

Sarah Smith
03-02-2015, 01:42 PM
Congratulations Violet! Awesome story and really positive! Lets hope you get many more days like that :) xx
Clara

Suzie Petersen
03-05-2015, 10:54 AM
The suspense is killing me Violet!! How did Monday go?? Do tell!

:)
Suzie

Raychel
03-08-2015, 06:03 PM
What an awesome day and story, Thanks for sharing it with Violet.
You are an inspiration. :thumbsup:

Yasmine1950
03-09-2015, 06:20 AM
Hey Violet
Thanks for sharing your working experience as Violet. I am so glad everything went well.
I am so happy you managed to take the first step and your colleagues were very supportive of
your decision to take the plunge, so to speak.
I am sending you my biggest and warmest HUGZ!!:love:
Yasmine

SamanthaSometimes
03-09-2015, 06:54 AM
Thanks for sharing your story of sheer courage Violet. Why does it have to be this hard for to be ourselves in the mainstream world? That question is of course rhetorical.

CostaRicaRachel
03-09-2015, 08:38 AM
Wow, that is great! Are you going to start going to work as
Violet on a regular basis? Congratulations!

Amy Fakley
03-09-2015, 08:41 AM
Oh Violet! I almost got teary-eyed too, reading your story. Honey, you have some the best coworkers! That is such a sweet story, I hope you have many more opportunities to work pretty :-)