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Jackie7
03-05-2015, 07:06 PM
Though I’ve been crossdressing secretly for most of my adult life, and have been out with it since my mother passed in 2000, it’s only lately, as I approach my 69th birthday, that I’ve become clear about where I fit on the spectra of gender. I’d like to share a summing up, and will appreciate any comments you care to make.

I met my wife in 2002 while crossdressed; she accepts, approves, and participates. I retired three years ago, freeing me to dress whenever I like. These days I always underdress, often present female at home, usually dress up for social outings in Philadelphia and New York, and once in a while she also crossdresses. Though I’m out to my family, I dress en drab for them, and I’m mostly en drab around our small-town neighborhood.

A couple of years ago my sweet wife wrote on this site about how she has fun with shopping together, nail salon together, dressing up to step out on the town together, and crossdressing herself to enjoy the sloppy ease of men's clothes. My wife likes that I've become autonomous in my shopping, dressing and makeup. We do lots of things together, but nothing's required of her, she can do what she wants and I will take care of my girl self as well as my guy self. At the same time she enjoys tweaking my presentation, she likes that I listen to her and take her fashion advice.

I notice that as my confidence grows and crossdressing becomes an everyday thing, the in-your-face, the adrenaline, and the stress have all gone out of it. Aside from bra and forms I’m accepting my body without corsetry and shapewear. I’m wearing slacks as much as skirts and dresses, pantyhose more than stockings, and sensible shoes. I’m dressing my age and appropriate to the occasion, not as a teenager nor party girl.

Being out and not shy, we like to engage with other people as they read us and respond. We notice that we get more attention together than we ever would as individuals or as a regular pair of young seniors. Our confidence makes us approachable – paradoxically, cross-dressing has made it easier to meet people. Our comfort level puts others at ease. Sometimes they "confess" their own crossdressing to us, and our example has encouraged some folks along their own gender journeys.

When I dress I enjoy presenting female, imitating female mannerisms, and trying to see the world from a woman’s point of view. Yet I’m a confirmed dude and do not plan to have gender surgery nor take hormones. I blend but do not pass, due to my deep voice with man hands, man physique, and man stance. The best I can do, and what I like to do, is present myself as an elegant, confident, and interesting crossdressing man. And I am so lucky and so grateful to have such a terrific wife.

Jolene Robertson
03-05-2015, 07:32 PM
Hi Jackie,
Stories like yours are so great to hear. I wish more of the people on here had similar situations. My wife is very supportive and like you I can blend but not pass, my wife says it’s my nose that gives me away. Thanks for sharing and give your wife a big hug from all of us.

Hugs
Jolene

Erika Lyne
03-05-2015, 08:06 PM
Hi Jackie,

Thanks for the wonderful back story. I love the way you said that you dress your age, appropriate for the occasion, not as a teenager or party girl. These are my sentiments exactly. My wife is here too and she is very supportive. Although, IF we were to go out together with me dressed my biggest tell would be our difference in height. Even without heels I am almost 10" taller. I wouldn't be able to blend much at all. I'm a size 16-18 because of my shoulders and as little as a 10-12 for a bottom, skirts preferred.

You two look wonderful together. Happy and surely on the same page.

Hugs,
-E

justmetoo
03-05-2015, 08:54 PM
That's great! Congratulations to you and your wife. :)

Gretchen_To_Be
03-05-2015, 09:45 PM
Now that's a beautiful story and relationship. Kudos to you for living your life the way you want, and kudos to your wife for supporting you.

StacyCD
03-05-2015, 10:03 PM
You are an inspiration to us all.

Candy Cox
03-05-2015, 10:13 PM
I am so glad for you, give your wife a hug, from all of us girls.
Candy

Beverley Sims
03-06-2015, 08:59 AM
Jackie,
Nice to see you adapt at such an age.

Fortuneta
03-06-2015, 04:28 PM
You TWO look great...how nice for the both of you...take care of each other!
Fortuneta

Teresa
03-06-2015, 04:54 PM
Jackie,
Thanks for sharing your story, I'm grateful you've taken the time to tell us it shows that openly accepting cding is possible and handled in the right way can also be socially accepted !

I wish my own circumstances could achieve the same balance ! Your family knows but you respect them by not dressing and your wife enjoys the good things it brings out in you ! You are doing no harm to anyone in the process of living a happy life, I'm so pleased for you !

daarleane
03-07-2015, 10:51 AM
What a lovely thought, why can't that be the.. norm? What is really wrong with a little "self expression"?

pamela7
03-07-2015, 11:03 AM
that's so lovely, and deserves to be the norm rather than the exception!

SamanthaSometimes
03-07-2015, 01:20 PM
Thanks for sharing your personal story. It is encouraging for me to see someone in such a great and accepting relationship and so happy. Best of everything to both of you.

Jackie7
03-07-2015, 03:30 PM
Thank you all for your kind comments and good wishes, which I have been sharing with my wife. She also reminds me that our current state of bliss did not just happen without struggle: on my side, a rough and expensive divorce after 30-plus years, with crossdressing just one issue among many. At the time a dear friend and mentor pointed out that if I went into another relationship with a big secret, it was doomed to end the same way, so my main chance was to get out of the closet before I met someone new. Best advice I ever took.

Ally 2112
03-07-2015, 03:56 PM
Great post give your wife a big hug !