I'm a big chicken! :(

[nikki2014]

You know, everytime I think about doing something I have these thoughts that run through my head. Even though my wife knows about Nikki and now even acknowledges her (big plus), I'm scared. Here's an example. I run the scenario though my head of what I'm going to do. For example the other night it was just my wife and I in our bedroom. It was a bit late and we're getting ready for bed. She comes in wearing her yoga pants. I thought well if she has them on why not I? She knows I have several pairs and has even bought me some as well. I think to myself I'm going to go put mine on as well too. I get up and walk to the closet, I stand there and stare at the pants and think "I can't". And turn around and go back in the room. Why? This is not the only time there's been other times as well. Example two. Everytime I want to paint my nails I send my my a text with a picture I've found through Pinterest of the same nail color. I say is this ok for me to paint my toes? She writes back sure, it's a pretty color. I paint my toes and the when she's around I keep my socks on. The other night she asked for me to get in the bath with her I said ok. But I was trying to hide my toes as much as I could. She saw them and could careless. She even made a comment one time and said I want to borrow that color for my nails. Why do I feel as if I'm a big chicken. I have these ideas or thoughts that run through my head of what I'm going to do or how to do it and then back out like a big chicken. Does anyone feel this way or have similar experiences? What or why does this make on feel this way? Anyone have any insight to? Please help me understand this thought or feeling process.

Nikki

[jessica2009]

I get the same feeling too, some things i just still dont want to do even though she is aware and supports, i think ( for me anyways) i dont wanna over do it and her say something. to make it awkward or something. just one of those things i guess

[RADER]

Nikki:
Hang in there, you are no different than myself and many others.
I had similar feelings with my wife, she would buy me clothes, but I was
scared to wear them in front of her. She would have to tell me, go and put on
the things I bought you, I want to see how the look.
I think it is the unsure feeling of what some one else will say or think because
you are a "Man" wearing something that he would not normal wear.
If your wife is OK with your dressing, than by all means enjoy license to wear
your wardrobe.
I did find that by not over doing it is a good thing, but wearing Yoga Pants to bed
is not a big thing, and in the cold weather, it just might keep you warm.
So keep trying to be your self, and a little Chicken can be a good thing, but do
not be scared. I am sure your wife loves you, mine did, and I miss her.
Rader

[Rachelakld]

It's who you are FOR her, big tough male for his woman, very noble self image, nothing wrong with it
But ALONE, you can be who you want to be, which is a more feminine person.

She obviously accepts the real you, so over time you will learn to change the image you have created of yourself FOR her.

No hurry, I still don't like wife finding me in a bra, although I wear yoga pants, dresses, skirts regularly around home for 5 years or more.

[bridget thronton]

I took me a while to feel comfortable when my wife saw me wearing a bra as I was getting dressed.

[trisha kobichenko]

I sometimes feel the same way. When I used to ask...she said it was up to me not her, but occasionally she would tell me that she would like to see more of the 'man she married'. Hard to tell what a good balance is. I think it's a moving target, but I am fortunate to have an SO who accepts who I am.
Trisha

[Stephanie47]

I don't think you're "chicken" at all. Although you have indicated your wife seems to accept your desire to dress, she is not totally on board with it. Back in December you indicated she has some reservations concerning cross dressing. I think many of us may have accepted ourselves as we are, but, find it difficult to "share" with our wives. I think you just want to project yourself as the man your wife married.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

It sounds like you feel a bit ashamed? I can't know what your wife truly feels about your CDing, but she's certainly saying she's ok with nail polish- so just start with daring to be more relaxed about that. Save the yoga pants for another day. One step at a time.

The rest is textbook- stay within her comfort zone, try to keep communication going between you, make sure she feels loved and desired.

[Marcelle]

Hi Nikki,

I think many of us go through this phase with accepting SOs. It is easy to reconcile who we are with us in our own heads but presenting that side of us to our SOs will be difficult. Remember, you want her to continue to see you as her strong macho husband and not the "yoga pants, painted toe nail" girl. She does not seem to mind so take those cues and slowly get comfortable being around her and you will get there. It is not a race and you have to go at a level of comfort that suits you both.

Hugs

Isha

[Katey888]

Nikki,

I'm sure it's just natural for many of us to be a little circumspect when we get the opportunity to be more open... :hugs: just take it at your own pace - your wife sounds very understanding and I'd say you are better to be more gentle in your progress than a pink fog in a runaway train...

Keep Calm & Carry On! :)

Katey x

[katie elouise]

Hi Nikki I don't think you are alone in the way you feel , despite my wife accepting me from the start I used to feel the same way but once I was truly comfortable in my own skin then things just feel in to place ,I think the key is baby steps being the way forwards rather than trying to understand yourself in one go .
For me it was about letting go of the responsible male for a while and letting the girl shine through .Katie x.

[pamela7]

probably we've all got our "chicken" areas. I've just been told, "yes we can go out, you've just got to be dressed" ... great, but why am I sitting here not making up? Nails first, procrastinate a little, maybe let it get dark? Excuses like "oh its such a palaver to put on all the make up". In the end, we just have to do it.

[meganmartin]

I do the same on occasion not wanting to over step my girl stuff where wife has been tolerant.
But others have advised me not to miss these opportunities and Ive regretted everyone I missed.

[Beverley Sims]

Nikki,
Being a chicken in the way you are doing it is good.
When the time comes, your wife will be accepting and more into it and is likely to draw you out of your shell.
Racing ahead madly and all the atmosphere could be blown away.

[Marcie Rose]

Many others have similar feelings once in a while, because what we do is not considered normal by some people. My wife is supportive but sometimes I still worry about what she's thinking. Just 2 days ago, my oldest daughter called that she was stopping by alone and I was fully dressed up, including makeup. Even though she loves Marcie and we even shop and do makeup together, I panicked and undressed before she got here. I have no idea why I chickened out and had no reason to worry. Later I regretted that I missed out on girl time together. Sometimes we're just insecure about ourselves and our relationships, and we worry about people thinking the wrong thing even if they're not. We just need to remember that what we do is perfectly fine and is part of our nature.

[SandraB]

Rather than chicken out, I think I've more of a tendency to show my cd / feminine side to my wife at any (perceived) opportunity at the risk of causing surprise. It is very wise advice from many on this forum that gets me to hold back, think before I leap and state my intentions to my wife before acting them out.

[Alice_2014_B]

I'm about in the same boat Nikki.

My wife knows and has only seen me dressed up once for a short period of time; it was a planned presentation, lol.
I'm going to be playing bass in a CD/TG band. She knows dressing up for that and I showed her some pictures from the other night when I dressed up and jammed on the bass whilst she was out.

Before sending it to her I texted her that I dressed up the other night and wanted to show her. She was cool with it. Her first response to the picture was “Whoa”, the good kind. Said she just has to get used to it. It was a full “head to high heels” picture.

I understand that nervousness, though your wife knows. Perhaps just more and more exposure to it over time will help.
:)