when did you come out of the crossdress closet?

[Brandie.n]

I am a late bloomer i resisted the urges until my mid 30s.I thought something was wrong with me boys shouldnt have these feelings.It started in puberty i was wondering what it felt like to be a girl.I ignored these urges until age 19 i couldnt stand it any longer i figured to crossdress in a halloween costume and it will all go away.I borrowed my moms witch costume and went out the urges went away for a little while then came back even stronger.So with every costume i worked tights in witch,jesters.All threw my 20s i had the urge but denied it.When i was my early 30s work had a pimp ho costume contest i worked in a store full of omen so they was pimp i went as a ho.Being out crossdressed i felt free happy liberated and was told how good i looked.Then i crossdressed 3 more time for haloween still in denile using halloween as an excuse.I was talking to a gay friend of mine she pointed out i was a crossdresser i denied it she told me she knew she was gay when puberty hit.She also pointed out i have dressed as a woman for the past 5 halloweens.It took allot of soul searching and with help to this site and my bff i finally accepted that side of myself the brandie side.Came out to my friends they said bout time you admited it.I now have skirts boots hose and body suit.
Well thats my story when did you come out?

[Marcelle]

Hi Adam,

Deep down I knew when I was young that girls clothes held an awe inspiring mystery for me but never acted on that until I fully dressed (first time) at 17 which was also my last time until 32 years later when I finally accepted who I was. I now live about 40 percent of my time female.

Hugs

Isha

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Hi Brandi, it was sensible of you to use Hallowe'en to experiment, till you gained confidence. Sounds like your bff is on the money. Hope you find plenty of opportunities to dress and have fun soon.

xNikki

[Beverley Sims]

I was thrown out of the closet by my girlfriends at eighteen. :)

[DianneM]

Hi Brandie
Is telling only one person, that being your SO, considered coming out. Then it was two weeks ago after keeping it hidden for thirty years, and the relief and peace to oneself it brings is indescribable.

Dianne

[Lily Catherine]

Hi Adam,

I came out to my father, followed by my mother, just some years back. They disagreed to a point way past DADT, at least as far as cross-dressing for its own sake was concerned.

I eventually crashed out of the closet due to the adverse reaction I had while watching a 'comedy' anime with cross-dressing and implications of sexual harassment as its major focus. After watching through the entire series (13 episodes x 5 minutes) with a couple of GM friends, they were slightly shocked at best, while I was very incensed and personally offended by what I saw.

Friend 1: "Hey, _____, why're you so angry? Yeah, I know it was messed up, but there's much worse than this."
Friend 2: (whispers into my ear) "Are you a trap (possibly derogatory term for CD)?"
(I am visibly shaken; Friend 2 repeats his question with 'Honestly' in front.)
Me: "Yeah, problem with that?"

This is still being alluded to up to a point where I've been asked to CD for my driving test (What?), but we're still on rather good terms and they don't know what I look like en femme. At least it's one less burden (keeping the secret) off my back, though I can't deny the weight of dealing with the associated stigmata and implications.

Addendum:
These are the few people I am out to; I have never stepped out into the 'vanilla world' nor carried out daily activities there while presenting as female. When I cross-dress for the sake of cross-dressing, it's entirely 100% at home.

[AllieSF]

I came out to the world almost immediately after starting from zero to dress completely over 8 years ago, meaning I wanted to and did step out of my house into the real world of interacting with whomever I came into contact with while out there. Out to the world that does not know my Allie side, that is! Those special people still only know my old male side, though I would guess that many of them wonder about the outward changes to my appearance since I started. For now there is no need to come out to any of them. I have more to lose than gain by coming out to them now. Who knows what will happen down the road? Maybe The Shadow knows?

[Adriana Moretti]

I came out little by little over time, and to the people I chose to let into my world. Not everyone knows, not everyone needs to, but only those that matter.

[kimdl93]

Different times with different people, from age 18 to the present. Don't ask how many decades that entails!

[AussieJess]

I came out only a few weeks ago. Talked to my wife, she asked me to show her. I was shaking almost in tears, it was one of the most frightening things I have ever done. I honestly thought, it was going to go bad, but she proved me wrong, and I am grateful to no end.
I am 31, I've held onto my secret for as long as I can remember. My earliest memories of dressing are from when I was 5 or 6...

XOXO - Jess

[suchacutie]

For me it was a switch thrown one morning, with my wife in the room and fully a part of the process. Woke up as a guy, age 55, and a couple of hours later we knew that Tina existed and there was no putting the genie back into the bottle. So, there never was a moment that I was alone with this!

Life can be wild!

[Ceera]

I tried on some of my mom's clothes in the laundry room, in private, when I was in my pre-teens and teens. I'd also had my first gay experience while in high school. But I knew my dad was homophobic and so I tried to deny any such urges and behave in a straight manner. Besides, I told myself that while I might find some males attractive, I really did prefer girls.

In my late teens I started playing female characters in role playing games. Played males tooo, but I did a pretty good job of roleplaying girls. :) My friends and I thought nothing of it.

Married in my early 20's, and admitted to my girlfriend before I married her that I had bi inclinations, though not that I had flirted with cross dressing. But I promised to be faithful to her, and I was for the 30 years we were married.

A few years after we got married, (late 1980's) I got Internet access and started reading Usenet newsgroups. I started using a female character that I created for some stories I was writing in one group of those newsgroups, and my wife knew I was. I also posted as one of my old female gaming characters. I hadn't been flirting in either role, or doing any adult stuff, and it was all accepted by the people in the group as being fictional characters interacting. Heck, my 'girl, was an anthropomorphic Siamese Cat! But my wife got a little upset when someone in the newsgroup started making affectionate remarks about my female character, and I agreed to stop playing her.

In early 2002, I revived another former female roleplaying character to use in an on-line web-based roleplaying forum. That place did have adult interaction occasionally, in off-line messaging. It was to some extent my virtual crossdressing outlet. The people there all believed that version of Ceera was a girl, though I made it clear that the real person who wrote Ceera's stuff wouldn't meet in real life with or really date anyone from my on-line associations. My wife and daughter knew I was a girl as well as a guy there, but not that some of the RP got adult.

In late 2005, Ceera moved to an on-line 3D virtual world, and the activity got more intensely adult. My wife knew that some opf the roleplaying I was doing with my girl character was adult-oriented, but I assured her it would never cross over into real life or threaten our relationship.

My mom died in mid 2011, and dad died in mid 2012. By that point I had been playing a girl on-line for quite a while, dressing her in virtual clothes and enjoying being girly on-line. I had also written fiction that involved some of the male characters cross dressing. With my father gone, I finally indulged my CD urges and bought some feminine panties and a corset, and started closet cross-dressing. Not long after that my wife noticed I was underdressing in panties, and I explained that as a teen I had liked bikini-style briefs, and that the only way I could readily find those these days was in the ladies department. She accepted that, since none of what I let her see was lacy or in feminine colors. I was very much in the closet about that. Shortly after that our teenage daughter learned that 'dad wore panties'. But they didn't know I had a corset or a few cheap wigs or a duffel bag with more lacy panties and a blouse and a skirt and one pair of women's shoes.

Then in early 2014 my wife unexpectedly died. I was 56, and now alone with my daughter. Well, I knew by then that my daughter didn't care if I wore panties. I also knew she considered herself to be bi or pan sexual, and that she liked cosplay and cross-dressing as males, and that some of her friends were gay or bi and liked crossdressing as girls for cosplay. I took the plunge and asked her if it would bother her if I 'cosplayed as my Ceera character' occasionally. I admitted an interest in cross dressing, and she was okay with it. In fact, she offered to help me shop for girly clothes!

So that was my 'coming out of the closet, and the start of my filling half my real closet with female clothes and shoes. That was about a year ago.

So far, I usually only dress and go out about once a week, almost always to a local gay nightclub that has drag queen reviews. Figured it is a safe environment, and I was right - I am accepted there. I've gone to one dance downtown at an anime con, while fully en-femme. and to a wig shop early one Saturday morning in full female mode. I've come out to a few other friends, but not many. But the rest of my family and my other close friends don't know about Ceera yet. So I'm still in the closet, mostly...

[SandraB]

I only came out to my wife a few weeks ago ... Valentines day as it turns out. How romantic! Despite having cross dressed from time to time since my teens, I never accepted myself to be a cd until just before that coming out. I now feel I embrace it and for the 1st time in my life I feel I'm accepting myself for who I am. I really don't know where this journey will take me or whether I will again change how I feel about myself, but I think I reached a point of no return because it feels great.
It helped a lot when my wife accepted it and accepts me for me i.e. the full package ... not as a cross dresser but as the man she's married to for the last 28 years.
Despite my elation at that point, it turns out that she accepts it but doesn't really like it. I've been mostly openly underdressing since I came out, continuosuly only wearing panties and most every day wearing bra with breast forms. Spoke to her about it again today and told her that I wanted to complete an outfit and that I already have dress, tights, high heels etc. She did say she would like to see the dress and shoes (though not on me). So I showed them to her and she admired the dress.
She told me she would prefer I did not fully dress in her presence as she is finding it difficult to get used to. While I would love for her to fully embrace and help me with cd'ing, I told her I fully understand and accept this but that I would like that if she could get used to it some day. She said that she didn't rule that out but that while I'm wired to cross dress, she is wired to not liking it.
We're both in the house most of the time, so I would not get to dress too often if I had to do it only when she's away. So we agreed that I would try to inform her before I dress and agree to stay out of her way when I do so. Also agreed that there is a possibility she could walk in on me accidently some time and she said she is ok with this. I wanted to dress this evening, so I told her when I was going to get dressed and that I would stay in one room of the house, while she's in another.

I then went for a bath, shaved legs, arms, torso etc., applied moisturiser and some fragrance and then dressed. So I'm now dressed, here on the forum and watching tv - somehat lonely, but that's the way it is for now. She did come in a short while ago to see me in the dress and asked me to walk in the high heels, which I did delighted with myself but somewhat clumsily as I'm just getting used to heels. She passed a compliment on how I look though I'm sure I'm a poor representation of the fairer sex ... besides my very masculine build, I've no makeup, accessories, wig etc.
I only recently joined the forum (on or about when I came out) and I find it a fantastic resource to read about other's experiences and advice on all things cd and especially about advice on coming out to a SO - take it slow, avoid surprise, have open dialog and also consider where the SO is coming from e.g. while I'm drawn hopelessly to dressing in women's clothes, she finds it difficult to look across the room and see her husband in a dress.
Life's a thrill! Don't know what's ahead but so far I'm enjoying the trip. Hopefully it all ends ok ... I think we have a good chance as long as we keep our love for each other as paramount, compromise on everything else and continue to have open discussion and dialogue.

[justmetoo]

I knew I wanted to wear girl's clothes as young as I can remember (early elementary school age, at the latest, I can't really remember much of anything before that). But I didn't come out to anyone else until probably less than 10 years ago. That adds up to at least 40 years in the closet. :eek:

[lingerieLiz]

Since I was 5 and my mother put me in panties I've liked fem clothes. Sisters knew, but it was considered a no no by parents. When I moved away from home I started collecting clothes. A buddy goaded me into playing his date for an event and I played it way too well. He was gay and I wasn't but we gave each other cover. Quit often because back then it was illegal but always returned. Lots of people throughout my life have known. Told my wife early on when we were dating. Today I have no idea who or how many know. I no longer try to pass and while I wear obviously women's clothes I don't look different than I do in guy clothes.

[Maria 60]

I don't really remember maybe around 5 or 6, pantyhose and slips has always been my weakness, sharing room with my sister did help me getting fem things. After years of denial that this time is the last time, the day before I was married I threw everything out in light of I will never wear women's clothes again. Well that lasted two weeks, back from our honeymoon she went to work before me, and there I was minutes later wearing her pantyhose, I told myself I wasn't going to be a fugitive and go into hiding again, so the same night when she came home I bit the bullet and told her everything from the first day I put on my sisters pantyhose up till that same morning I put on hers. I was surprised she was really good about it, she asked me the three questions, do I like men, do I want to be a women, and if I would be happy in the closet. She told me her closet was open to wear anything I wanted but she didn't want me to wear here panties and pantyhose, so we went out that same night and she bought me my own things.