Should I go to my 40th college reunion n femme?

[Sometimes Steffi]

I classify myself as a part-time, recreational crossdresser, with no plans to go further.

My 40th college reunion is coming up in May, and my wife will not be coming with me. I was thinking of dressing en femme for some of the events. I'm not really out to anyone except my wife, not counting all the girls I only know only in girl mode. I don't live anywhere near my alma mata, so I probably won't see any of my alumni classmates until the 50th reunion.

Is this a stupid idea? Has anyone else done it and survived? What should I take into consideration?

[lingerieLiz]

I wouldn't. With social media today you have no idea who will be seeing to current condition and cause problems in the future. If you were out to others I wouldn't worry about it.. On the other hand you could well be outed to many more people.

[Jeninus]

"But Pedro, eez eet wise?" Quote from the caption of a Mad Magazine cartoon from the early '60s, one character whispering to another who is contemplating hijacking an airliner to Cuba. As lingerieLiz points out, once the cat's outta the bag...it's gone, baby.

It will be your closest long-lost friend from college who will spot you, take a photo with you and put it on his FB. From there, who knows, but there is the iron rule of fortune that dictates it will show up on one of your co-worker's computers and make the rounds of your firm.

[Victoria Demeanor]

Liz makes a good point. people will be taking pictures and posting to FB and every other social site there is today. At an event like this it will get around fast. If you want to come out in a blaze of glory then yes do it. if you want to stay private, then no go as yourself. You may not see these people for another ten years, but the inter net will see you as soon as you walk through the door.
Not a stupid idea, but remember the internet makes us a much smaller world these days.

[heatherdress]

Steffi - Why would you want to do this? It would be different if you were living your life full time as Steffi. But really, a 40th reunion with old friends is for remembering past times together. You would be making this event "all about you", as a recreational, part-time crossdresser. If you wanted to dress while you were traveling - OK. If you want to tell others about your dressing - OK. If you want to invite a friend or friends out to a private dinner or lunch dressed to share your crossdressing in confidence - OK. But I don't think it would be appropriate to show up at 40 year reunion events with old friends.

[ReineD]

Is this a stupid idea? Has anyone else done it and survived? What should I take into consideration?

Gossip and finger-pointing, not to your face but mostly behind your back. Not everyone though. Some people will think it's a lark. A few people might even get it. And yes, tagged pics on facebook.

You'll need to weigh the benefit you derive from dressing in front of your peers, to the negative of having (some? many?) think of you as being odd. If the benefit outweighs the negatives, then go for it!

Why do you want to dress in front of past school mates?

[Stephanie47]

As a part-time recreational cross dresser? To what end? For what purpose? I can see it now. You're going to live on forever on the Internet. You will definitely be the talk of the town for a very long time. Wait to you are long gone, like in the ground, and, they announce your passing at a following reunion.

However, if you do go en femme I suspect you'll be a self imposed wall flower.

[Rachelakld]

Nah, wouldn't touch it with a barge pole.
Go out to dinner with friends is okay, but not a school reunion, while cool to your face, the knives will be out real quick afterwards, and eventually one will cut you.

[Lorileah]

I had my 40th last summer...I went "en femme" as you say. I survived and many of my classmates are now even better friends....However

I am transitioning. It is who I am and it wasn't a choice of going as a guy or going as a woman. I had to be who I am. I didn't have to go that was my choice, go or not. After a lot of debate and guidance, I had to go

You, on the other hand, are a crossdresser, part time and recreational at that. It would be a really really bad move unless you are ready for the world to know. And even at that since it is recreation for you and not your life...it would be even worse.

[Gardener]

When we make the decision to disclose to those close to us, as far as I read, this is a near universal anxious time. My guess is that we tell a person at a time to begin with? Going to the meeting where there will be many people, most of whom are not close friends with unknown attitudes, is like grasping a megaphone and disclosing loudly in the middle of a shopping centre to all and sundry. You are a brave person to do that.

[docrobbysherry]

I fantasized about doing this for my 50, too, Steffi.

But, I'm a closet dresser and just couldn't bear the thot of every discussion with every classmate involving one of these questions:

R u gay?
Were u gay back in hi-school?
What's it like being with guys?
Wish I'd known u were gay back then.
This is a gimmic to get attention rite?
R u nuts?
R u the one that caused all the underwear to disappear from the boys locker room?
Etc., friggin", etc.
:doh:

[char GG]

Yes, it is a stupid idea.

I'm sure you certainly have other opportunities to dress en femme, especially since you classify yourself as a "recreational crossdresser".

[Katey888]

I classify myself as a part-time, recreational crossdresser, with no plans to go further.

But here you are, going further... :confused:


Is this a stupid idea?

Steffi - you are anything but stupid, and at worst this is just a misconceived bit of daring on your part... But why, why, why? :)

I'll admit, I don't get school or college reunions - they seem to me to be an opportunity for super-successful types to remind everyone else how well they've done, or for old rivalries to be raked over again or at best just something of a sentimental excursion into times past... But how could YOU possibly benefit from this? I think I get that you'd like to celebrate this long buried aspect of you, but I do sincerely believe the bigger benefit would be in doing that with others who appreciate and understand what it means to carry this secret for so long, rather than a relatively random crowd, a few of whom might be understanding, but where the majority will just be puzzled and some who probably think it confirms what they always thought: that you were one card short of a full deck decades ago...

I'm all for positive outings - I don't believe this qualifies... :hugs:

Katey x

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Steffi, See line #3 in my signature ! :daydreaming:

[Kate Simmons]

That would seem to me to be a personal choice SS. I doubt I would do it though unless I was transitioning, which more would maybe understand. :)

[Suzie Petersen]

No! Bad idea, bad!!

- Suzie

[Lily Catherine]

It's very, very risky and the repercussions are heavy, the questions will fly. Despite your claim otherwise, you definitely come across as pushing it for sure. If you have no wish to disclose, it'd not be advisable to present as female there.

[Lori Kurtz]

Doesn't sound like such a good idea to me. If you were a transsexual, and were transitioning to a full-time outwardly female identity to match your inner reality, then I would say it would be a courageous and appropriate step to take. But since you are, as you say, a recreational crossdresser, you would only be involving your classmates--most of whom you probably don't know very well anymore--in your own personal, sexually-oriented, recreational activity. I wouldn't see a problem with your mentioning your interest in crossdressing, and if anyone were interested, you could then have a more private (or at least separate from your reunion activities) session with interested people, but to spring Steffi on everyone seems likely to be an unwelcome imposition.

[Cheryl James]

It is really up to you. For me, though, I could not imagine doing that.

[DonnaT]

Not a good idea.

If you were out to your classmates, then it could be fun, but if you are closeted, it will most likely be quite awkward or worse.

And if awkward, how will the next reunion go over?

[sherib]

Is this a stupid idea, yes it is. One of these alumni will take cell phone picture and you will see it on facebook.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Thank you friends for talking me down from the edge of the roof. Sometimes I do things a little edgy because I can, but not because I should. This is clearly a time that I shouldn't. I'm so not into Facebook, that I didn't even think of the possibility of ending up on a bunch of Facebook pages, or even worse, the alumni monthly magazine. I really appreciate everyone's honesty that it's a stupid idea, and giving me explanations that even I could understand.

If I really need some femme time, I can always go to TGFashions (formerly Glamour Boutique) or the Paula Young wig outlet store.

[Tina_gm]

I was going to reply with a not a good idea, but I guess you have already decided this for yourself. Sure, we all get these desires and fantasies to do something that would affirm us of our "other side" but, if you are still living life primarily as a man and wish to continue to do so, those things that we desire to do or fantasize about would cause many more problems and would end up just not being worth it.

[Beverley Sims]

If you haven't seen them in fourty years, you will only be another that has chosen a different lifestyle.
Remember there will probably be a lot of oldies there. :)

[CONSUELO]

Wise decision Steffi. There are better venues for "coming out" than a college reunion.

[Meghan4now]

Steffi

Why would you do that? I mean going to your 40th college reunion. If you aren't running into friends then why go? If you are seeing friends then they will see you and that needs to be ok.

Skip the reunion and do something fun instead. And dress appropriately, whatever that means. I certainly am not going in a gown for a scuba trip.

-M.