met a new gg that is into this

[soccer1986]

So I have met this gg online and she is totally into cding, she tells me she enjoys it very much but her take on it is more of a dom/sub relationship. While talking to her she is very level headed and she sounds like a great girl. We have not met in person even though we live fairly close.
The fact that she is into my hobby is awesome but I have never thought about the sub/dom relationship. This is a new take for me and I am kinda curious. To me relationships have always been 50/50, full of respect and no one is inferior to the other.
I really enjoy talking to this girl and we could still be good friends. This was just an eye opener for me because no one ever put this in front of me, I know there are plenty of videos out there about the subject mostly porn, but someone actually offering it is very different.
This is something I have to think hard about and have a serious conversation with her.

[michelleddg]

Sounds great but, careful, could be a dude. Tread lightly. Hugs, Michelle

[Charlyne]

Be extra careful on this one; I, personally, can't believe a GG would be "totally into CDing" unless it is with her SO.

[DonnaT]

She may by totally into CDing, but only in a dom/sub setting.

All you need to is be sure she in on the same page as you with regard to a 50/50 relationship.

Note that some dom/sub relationships can be limited to set boundaries that you might find interesting.

You'll have to have a frank discussion on what she means by dom/sub and how far you are willing to venture away, if at all, from a 50/50 relationship.

[Shelly Preston]

The alarm bells should be ringing.

You have met this lady online which raises a few questions.

Have you communicated by video link so you can see who your chatting with which would a good step.

This would be a must prior to any meeting.

Do you have anything in common apart from a dom/sub relationship possibility.

[soccer1986]

I completely understand that meeting people online can be dangerous and I do take measures to protect myself. We haven't met in person and before we do I will certainly do some kind of video chatting.

It seems from what we have been able to speak that if I would have met her anywhere else she would definitely be a possibility of someone I would approach. We do have things in common most importantly she is close to her family as I am so that is a major plus for me.

I will definitely have to have the conversation about what it means for her to be in a sub/dome relationship. She might have some interesting thought about it.

You can never be too careful when you meet someone online. I have to be smart about this and always try to be two steps ahead. I have always been good about taking care of myself, being kinda small I always had to be smarter than everyone else.

[CherylFlint]

My wife is the Boss. When she wants to see Cheryl, she’ll tell me to “Get dressed” so I’ll go to the 2nd bedroom to dress. Sometimes she’ll have already laid-out the outfit she wants me to wear (about 90% of the time).
Sometimes she’ll want me to out to shop with her dressed, sometimes not.
So she’s the “Dom” but there’s no torture or whips or any such stuff.
This relationship has worked very well for us.
The most fun is when she wants to get a new wig for me. She’ll have me go in drab and then tell the saleslady to put the wig on me. Let me tell you, the sales girls enjoy it.
I asked my wife about it and she said that she gets a kick out of showing other females the control she has over her man.
Whatever. If my wife is happy, then I’m happy.

[kimdl93]

Remember it's ok to say no...and no means no. But seriously, sometimes what people get into on line is a bit more adventurous than their real life interests. That may be true either or both of you and in terms of the D/s and CDing aspects.

Since you've just met this person, take a long time to get to know her, then talk with her, and then if/when you have checked and double checked, consider meeting in public.

[docrobbysherry]

Soccer, it sounds as if she has made some sort of proposals to u? U mentioned her, "offering", but not what she's offering?

She doesn't sound anything like Cheryl's SO to me. This new friend of yours sounds like she may think u r a fetish dresser? Which u may be? In which case, the sub/dom thing mite be fun for u. Did u 2 meet on Fetlife?

I know a few fem doms and they all say CD's r high on their client lists. I suggest u meet this girl for coffee or a drink in drab first. Then, you'll get a better feeling about what she likes. And maybe, whether or not you'd like to "play" with her!?:o

[Khora]

I, personally, can't believe a GG would be "totally into CDing" unless it is with her SO.

Why can't a GG have a thing for a CD? Everyone has different things that turn them on.

[Greenie]

Khora, people are generalizing based off of their experience. I see why they believe that. And while it could be possible, I am sure the probability of it is no super high. It could and does happen, but the general combined experience of the majority of this board, is that it does not .

[MissTee]

I'll join the other in saying be careful. Also, and I'm making a leap here, in many dom/sub relationships dressing is a form of subjugation. Thus, the female dom has the male sub dress as a female to exert control. To each their own, but I don't do subjugation. I dress for different reasons.

[Tracii G]

All I can say is be careful.

[emma-louise]

Why is it i have alarm bells ringing? be careful ! x

[JeanetteX]

Can't help feeling jealous to be honest...wish I'd meet someone like that. But still I have to agree with everyone else to be careful.

Soccer1986....does your name mean your a soccer fan?

All the best from another soccer lover.

Jeanette

[soccer1986]

Yes Jeanette, I am a soccer fan, I actually play in four different teams in my area.
I have to agree with everyone here with being careful. Sometimes if it too good to be true then it probably is.
Thanks everyone for their input and i see how everyone has the same mindset. That is one of the reasons i posted this here, just a reaffirmation that i wasn't being paranoid about the subject.

[JeanetteX]

4 different teams?? Wow, you play in more soccer teams than I own bra's lol. You must be fitter than Messi and Ronaldo combined. At least you can keep a slim and possibly girly figure instead of getting a typical male belly!

[soccer1986]

Well yes I am fit but now have to deal with the typical male muscle buildup. Would love to have slimmer legs, they are just all muscle. My back chest and abs also gained more muscle so makes me more squared. Not complaining I like my body but have to be honest it is not really feminine.

[Charla Leanne]

Hi Soccer and all,
My first post on this site. This topic is very near and dear to me as I have been a CD my entire life in various degrees and found most gg's aren't into the idea of CD-ing. However, having said that I have to believe that there is a wide variety of places to meet gg's and that will have some impact on whether they are into it or not. This is pure conjecture on my part, however. Meaning I don't have extensive experience in seeking out gg's who are into CDing. For awhile I did looking into various sites and most of what I found did seem to be in the area of sub/dom relationships. On the other extreme, if you went to a local church and joined the singles group there my guess is you'd be in the wrong place to find a gg that accepts you as a CD, which is kind of ironic since the base of virtually every religion is acceptance. However, having said that you might actually be surprised. There are exceptions to every situation. Meaning that if you found a gg that is accepting of who and what you are then you might be the right place. You might actually find such a gg in a church group. So, hopefully this woman you have found is such a person (ie accepting)

This is a complicated topic from my perspective since I have finally found a gg who not only accepts me who I am but also enjoys my CD side. And I didn't find her on line. That's not to say you can't find such a gg on line. I think if the gg you found is only into the sub/dom part of it then this might be a one dimensional relationship but that's from my perspective and view of life. Someone who reads this could totally disagree with me.

Since you are into soccer, one thought experiment would be to find out if she accepts that side of you. You are not just a CDer you are a soccer player and a CD and possibly more. And she probably has many sides as well. She might have a side to her that loves sub/dom but also loves to be a true girl. So, would she be into to you both going out as girls? Just a thought - she might not be and you might not be but it could be fun to explore. Also, what about her coming to one of your soccer games and seeing you play?

In my situation my gg gf and I at times have a dom/sub relationship. She loves to be a dom but not all the time. But she also loves to be a girl and we often will both go out as girls together. Then there are times we go out in a traditional format where I am a guy and she is a girl. She's not at all into being a dude so we haven't done that and I am ok with that since I get to be a girl one way or the other.

So, this got kind of long. My recommendation is to move slow and explore her side of things fully and your side of things fully and try and figure out what makes each of you tick. In a prior post, Cheryl mentioned her wife is the boss. My sub girly side loves that idea. They found something that really works for them. So, hopefully you can do that as well.

[Beverley Sims]

I would err on the side of caution.

Meet her for coffee sometime and a few walks in the park or window shopping to gauge her true feelings and see if it is right for you.

Some think wham bam thank you mam is the thing, so beware.

[Charlyne]

Kristina, you are correct. There is always someone.

[Stephanie47]

I'm in agreement with all who are telling you to be cautious. That is a good general rule for connecting with anyone via the Internet. There are too many people out there playing games. Of course, there are also people projecting who they really are. I think you need to really consider the nature of the site you met her through. If you were on a site that attracts cross dressing men, I guess there are women who are into controlling men or dominating men. Domination is a rather broad spectrum of activity. Sure, there are people into whips and chains and humiliation. Maybe she just wants a girlfriend type of guy. I'd be careful of walking into a situation you cannot extract yourself from. I would not give her any details of who you really are up front.

One thing I would do is check the IP address obtained from your current interactions. If she is close by it should indicate that. If not? Well, tread carefully.

[Cara Lacey]

I have met a few GGs who are into crossdressers.

Paula, was a woman I dated for about a year. One morning, after spending the night, she asked me if I would like some clean underwear, and handed me a pair of satin and lace panties. i asked her if she wanted me to wear them....then it was on!

Every time I stayed over, she would dress me up in her panties and bras, although she was much smaller than me.

After a couple of weeks, I underdressed with a bra, panties, stockings and a garter belt. I brought my pumps and breast forms in my gym bag. After dinner she went to the rest room, and when she came back I was sitting on the couch in my undies.
She was really in to it! From then on she expected me to underdress.
Sge enjoyed putting makeup on me and spending the day having "bra and panty party", as we called it.

Unfortunately, the crossdressing and sex was all we really had in common,so the relationship faded away.

Another woman I knew from a bar once said, when she was really drunk, that there was nothing sexier than a man in a skirt. That Halloween I came out dressed as Elvira, and she was obviously very turned on by me and my costume. She didn't seem to like me before, but after that Halloween she hit on me every time we saw each other.
By this time I had met my wife, who is also in to my crossdressing.
She occasionally enjoys the lesbian fantasy.

[Khora]

Khora, people are generalizing based off of their experience. I see why they believe that. And while it could be possible, I am sure the probability of it is no super high. It could and does happen, but the general combined experience of the majority of this board, is that it does not .

I do realize that it may not be the most common interest in GGs, but I don't think it should automatically be dismissed either. I just feel like the tone of this thread is a bit more negative than it needs to be. I agree with meeting anybody from the internet should be approached carefully, but in this case should be done with an open mind and see what happens. My recommendation to the OP would be communicate, communicate, communicate. Talk to this girl and find out exactly what it is that she's looking for. Is she simply looking for a D/s relationship? Does she want a normal relationship, but enjoy the D/s aspect in the privacy of the bedroom? I think it's worth the effort.

[Lorileah]

I just feel like the tone of this thread is a bit more negative than it needs to be. I agree with meeting anybody from the internet should be approached carefully, but in this case should be done with an open mind and see what happens.

Um...I don't. There a a lot more wolves than Little Red Riding hoods out there. Although they usually vanish in the light of day. In a BDSM relationship, it is easy to vet these out if hey are REAL people in the community. There are things called "munches" where people of similar interest, in a NON-Sexual manner, meet and get to know each other and set perimeters. If the person on the other end of the online conversation isn't part of the community, I would still suggest you BOTH meet at one of these munches. It is public and the other people can help guide and protect you.

Recently with the 50 Shades thing a lot of wannabes and amateurs are out there. It is very questionable at the very least to get into ANY BDSM activity unless you are both on the same page and know how to handle the relationship. Playing online doesn't physically hurt anyone. Playing in real life with someone who doesn't know what they are doing or even worse KNOWS but aren't going to follow safe and sane protocols is just dangerous at best.

I would vet this one out a lot more before I went into any real life thing with them. trust me on this, I have played this game before and found out real fast that things are NOT what they seem. Luckily I didn't physically meet these people.

[Crissy Kay]

She may just want free maid services!! Better play it safe, and give me her number!!!

[sometimes_miss]

There are women out there like that, I met a dominatrix that said she would keep me dressed up and I could be her slave. All for a fee, of course. But she had no problem with crossdressers; we talked quite a bit, and several of her other customers were both submissive crossdressers. If I were wealthy perhaps I would have gone in that direction, but then again, I don't desire to be abused; submissive behavior usually involves a lot of physical activity that my old arthritic body simply can't maintain anymore.

[Jennifer0874]

I have never met a woman who was into my cding sexually or wanted a relationship with me, but I met a woman once who I would have liked to date, but she was a make up artist who was only interested in doing my make up.

[Natalie cupcake]

I would be careful like everyone has said. You never who is on the other end of the key board!

Love Natalie cupcake:battingeyelashes: